(Possible) Asexual Sighting: Arthur Martin (Six Feet Under)

It’s been a long time since I’ve done an Asexual Sighting (not since Varys came out on Game of Thrones last season.)  It would have been sooner, but Netflix only has the series on DVD, and plenty of other stuff (like Buster Keaton, classic Who-, and zombie dramas) kept materializing at the top of my queue and forcing Six Feet Under hiatuses.  I’ve finally finished the series, though, and I’m ready to add a fifth member to my confirmed/possible ace character collection.  (Some spoilers for Arthur’s plots in seasons 3 and 4.)

Arthur joins the show in its third season as an apprentice at Fisher & Diaz and a lodger in the Fisher home.  He’s a quiet, eccentric man with a passion for the funeral business and a strong desire to learn, and though many of the characters find him odd and/or off-putting, the Fisher matriarch Ruth is increasingly drawn to him.  They forge a friendship that wavers along the lines of romance, but their bond is threatened by Arthur’s reticence toward physical intimacy.

He definitely joins the “socially awkward ace” pile.  Unlike Sheldon or Sherlock, I wouldn’t say he’s specifically written as ASD, although he has some of the typical TV codes for aspies:  slightly stilted line delivery, unusual hobbies/interests, and fastidious attention to detail.  He also experiences the ace rite of passage wherein others speculate about his sexuality and assume there’s no such thing as aceness.  David thinks Arthur is “A,” but Keith sticks with gay, based on his belief that “asexual people are asexual because they don’t wanna come out of the closet.”

I like that his social wonkiness isn’t about disliking or not understanding people.  True, he needs coaching to deal with grieving families, but mostly, the issue is that others find him weird.  Arthur himself seems to like people a lot.  He’s not very outgoing and often keeps to himself, but when he does interact, he’s warm and open in his way.  As he and Ruth get to know each other, he’s exceedingly, earnestly polite, and it’s with genuine affection that he tells his nephews about his new friend at the Fisher house.  While he’s happy to compose digital music or watch obscure sci-fi movies alone, he’s quietly, gently delighted when Ruth wants to join him.

As for his relationship with Ruth, I’d say he’s romantic and sex-repulsed.  It could be that he only has platonic interest – it’s all pretty unspoken – but my gut says he’d like romance with little physical contact.  He’s clearly upset when Ruth tries to kiss him, but he likes nuzzling her, which reads as romantic to me.  (Mixed feelings about the nuzzling; though it’s sweet, it’s unconventional enough that it feels a bit like the show is othering ace intimacy.)  Unfortunately, while Arthur knows what he is and isn’t comfortable doing, I’m not sure if he knows he’s ace.  It’s hard for him to voice his distress to Ruth, and I can’t tell if he doesn’t want to come out to her – understandable in a new relationship – or if he doesn’t have any words for his orientation.

His reluctance to take things to “the next level” (ugh…) comes between them, and my heart just breaks.  In Ruth’s eyes, Arthur’s desire for a nonsexual connection is less valid than her healthy, normal sexual desires.  She meets another man shortly after they hit this rough patch, at which point she basically tosses Arthur aside.  There’s no sense that she still has any feelings for him or considers that he might be hurt or jealous over her new beau.  Honestly she acts like there was never anything between them.  That’s what really gets me, the idea that what they had wasn’t “real,” not worth a second thought when a genuine relationship comes along – so sad.