"Better a fallen rocket than never a burst of light."
~ Tom Stoppard, The Invention of Love

Saturday, August 15, 2020

News Satire Roundup: August 10th-August 13th

 

Monday, August 10

·       Headlines – NASA ditches racist nicknames for cosmic bodies, demonstrations in Beirut, Sturgis motorcycle rally amid pandemic, Trump’s COVID-19 executive orders, Trump reportedly wants to be added to Mt. Rushmore

o   Trevor didn’t want NASA to go too far with the renaming – “I don’t wanna hear about no ‘urban holes’ or ‘under-priviledged holes.’ They’re black and they’re proud!”

o   Solid analysis – “Of course bikers don’t care about coronavirus, these are the same people who already said ‘f**k you’ to seatbelts and air bags!”

o   Still, Trevor’s experience with apocalypse movies told him the bikers will be all right – “I’ve seen Mad Max. There wasn’t a single epidemiologist!”

o   Even though much of the content of Trump’s executive orders was misleading, unhelpful, or unconstitutional, “[Trump] understands that even the appearance of doing something is better than going on recess in the middle of a recession,” like Congress is.

·       Correspondent piece (Jaboukie) – Speculation on Joe Biden’s VP pick

o   Trevor relished the irony that “Joe Biden is the one looking for a running mate with zero flaws.” Ha!

o   Jaboukie’s outside-the-box choice? Cardi B. For all the GOP congressmen who have an issue with her new song “WAP,” Jaboukie pointed out that they were fine with pussy when Trump was the one talking about it.

o   I laughed at Jaboukie imagining Mike Pence facing off against Cardi B. in a vice presidential debate – “He would evaporate into a pile of oatmeal immediately!”

·       Interview – Rep. Pramila Jayapal

o   In discussing her book on brown women in politics, Jayapal shared the staggeringly-terrible statistic that, out of the 11,000 people who’ve served in Congress since America’s founding, only 79 have been women of color.

o   As a naturalized U.S. citizen, she pushed back against anti-immigrant sentiment – “I’m in the United States. This is my home. Where am I supposed to go back to?”

o   And for another terrible statistic, 3 ½ million Americans tested positive for COVID-19 in the last 12 weeks

·       Interview – Actress/creator Michaela Coel

o   Coel was on to talk about her show I May Destroy You. I liked what she said about resisting the tendency to show her audience who to root for – “I’m not saying that anything is wrong or right. I’m just putting characters in a frame” and letting the audience see them as they are.

o   She also had good remarks about the show’s exploration of consent, particularly what she called “a theft of consent,” instances where “details are purposefully hidden” in order to obtain consent when the character likely wouldn’t have given it had they known the full story.

Tuesday, August 11

·       Headlines – Kamala Harris is Joe Biden’s VP pick, Kanye West struggles to get on the ballots

o   I smiled at, “Say what you want about Joe, but the man went Black, and he’s never going back,” accompanied by a picture of Biden and Obama.

o   Fun Kanye impression from Trevor, complaining about missing a filing deadline – “Time was invented by the devil to destroy God, but it’s also part of God!”

·       Pandemic News – Russia claims to have a vaccine, candy companies worry about Halloween, college football seasons postponed

o   Trevor wasn’t sure we should trust a Russian vaccine – “I mean, the best-case scenario is that you win an Olympic medal that gets taken away 2 years later.”

o   Trevor noted how candy companies are scrupulously planning for how to offset COVID-related losses come Halloween, whereas too many politicians are saying, “I don’t know, I’m feeling lucky – let’s just see what happens on the day,” when it comes to the election.

o   Great summation of Trump’s priorities – “160,000 Americans are dead? ‘It is what it is.’ College football might be postponed for a year? ‘What a tragedy!’”

·       Main Story – Major slowdowns in the USPS

o   Sadly, “it’s no longer a question of, ‘Is Donald Trump going to try to cheat?’, but more, ‘How is Donald Trump going to try to cheat?’” – here, we looked at the Trump appointee who’s slashing post-office funding, leading to major slowdowns as we prepare for an election that will have large numbers of people voting by mail.

o   I laughed at, “I hate to say it, folks, but we have to let Bed, Bath & Beyond run the election.”

·       Correspondent Piece (Roy) – Citizen’s arrest laws

o   The men who murdered Ahmaud Arbery used a law like this “as a justification for murder, as a justification for lynching.”

o   The expert that Roy spoke to explained that this law was written in the middle of the Civil War, empowering citizens to capture runaway slaves.

·       Interview – Actor Sterling K. Brown

o   Fun banter at the beginning, with Trevor asking whether Brown’s young kids understand and/or care about his Emmy nominations. Brown’s impression of his oldest making fun of his dad for being so accomplished made me smile.

o   Brown recognized the importance of his character on This is Us, which has a mostly-white audience – he hoped that, if they connect to his character, “The next time they see me, or someone who looks like me, they can lean in rather than walk away.”

o   And for Black audience members, he had this powerful observation: “Seeing yourself onscreen validates your life.”

Wedesday, August 12

·       Headlines – Dramatic Fresh Prince reboot, QAnon supporter wins congressional primary, people are taking off their masks to unlock their phones with facial recognition, GOPresponse to Joe Biden’s VP pick

o   Trevor thought the original Fresh Prince was already plenty dramatic – “…And overnight, they switched dark-skinned Aunt Viv for light-skinned Aunt Viv! That shit was traumatic as hell!”

o   We got a quick rundown of QAnon, including the belief that the “deep state” trafficks children in order to drink their blood for eternal youth(?) – “Everyone knows the only way to get young is by drinking the blood of Paul Rudd!”

o   With or without a mask on, Trevor didn’t know how iPhones recognize anyone this long into the pandemic – “Look at me! I look like my own evil, nappy twin!”

o   Great impression of Trump “defending” Joe Biden from Kamala Harris – “She was so horrible to Sleepy Joe. That loser deserves so much more respect than that!”

o   I enjoyed the fake attack ad at the end of of confused Republican talking points about Harris – “We haven’t decided why she’s bad yet, but we already paid for this ad.”

·       Main Story – Kamala Harris

o   While Democratic campaigns have slowly gotten more diverse, I laughed at Trevor’s summation of the GOP side of things – “Okay, look, I know we’ve got a white guy on the ticket, but what if we found a running mate who was even whiter?”

o   Trevor voted that we stop calling successful Black politicians “the next Barack Obama” (Cory Booker,) “the female Barack Obama” (Harris,) or “the sleeping Barack Obama” (Ben Carson, ha!)

o   Good point – the number of times Harris has been “the first” woman/Black person/South Asian in her position “says a lot of great things about her and a lot of not-so-great things about America.”

·       Correspondent Piece (Jaboukie) – Why won’t people listen to scientists?

o   Jaboukie did a repeat interview with a vaccine scientist he talked to back in March, and the months in quarantine were showing.

o   Re: a potential vaccine, “What kind of Avatar movie bullshit are you pulling?! Why do you keep pushing it back?!”

o   The problem, he decided, was that this scientist and others like him are trying to change people’s minds with facts instead of rage – he encouraged the guy to add “a little sprinkle of ‘I’m back from the future to warn you about your fate before it’s too late’” to his media appearances.

·       Interview – Comedian W. Kamau Bell

o   Bell talked a lot with Trevor about his show United Shades of America. In discussing an episode on the gig economy, he observed, “Those who use it, it works great for us, but if you’re being used by it, it doesn’t work for everybody.”

o   Trevor told Bell, “You love to talk about racism,” and Bell countered, “I’d love to talk more about Bruce Lee, but apparently that’s not my job!”

o   They also discussed an episode on reparations. Trevor was struck that the position of a number of the Black people in the episode was, “I want the government to give me money so that I can just do what the government hasn’t basically done” (i.e. improve schools/infrastructure in their neighborhoods.)

o   Bell talked about connecting with a wide range of people on his show, including Klan members, but “it’s not like American History X where [he does] laundry with them for an hour, and they come out and go, ‘Man, I shouldn’t be a racist anymore!’”

Thursday, August 11

·       Headlines – Trump changes shower head regulations, socially-distanced concert in the U.K., COVID-19 precautions prevent the flu in the Southern Hemisphere, Florida sheriff bans masks in his department, protesters arrested after Belarus election, Trump discusses blocking mail-in voting

o   Good point about Trump going to war to increase shower head flow – “This is what’s so frustrating about Donald Trump, it’s that he can get stuff done, but he only cares enough to do it if it affects him personally.”

o   I laughed at Trevor describing the U.K. as “Westeros with electricity.”

o   The infrastructure at that concert did look pretty impressive, and the sight gag of a “mosh pit” filled with people in plastic bubbles was funny.

o   Man, that sheriff. I liked this line – “You’ve gotta admire the balls on this sheriff. Everyone is protesting police shootings, and he’s like, ‘All right, I’ve heard your demands. I’ll come up with a different way to kill you.’”

o   Great clap back at Mike Pompeo talking about Belarus – “That’s right, Belarus should protect its nonviolent protesters the same way America does: unmarked vans.”

o   Of course Trump just came out and told us he won’t approve a bill that provides for funding for elections and the post office – “God damn, I’ve never seen a villain give away a plan like that without seeing James Bond tied to a chair in front of him.”

o   Good, dark joke about having to change election-day stickers to “I Voted?” in the midst of meddling.

·       Correspondent Piece (Dulcé) – Double standards in criticism of women

o   This began looking at sexist criticisms of Kamala Harris, but Dulcé pivoted into talking about the Cardi B./Megan Thee Stallion song “WAP.”

o   I loved, “I don’t understand the criticism that Kamala Harris is too ambitious. How are you supposed to get on a presidential ticket if you’re not ambitious?”

o   Fun throwaway joke – Trevor was puzzled at Dulcé organizing her closest alphabetically and asked why she doesn’t sort by color instead, and she replied, “Clearly, you’re still suffering from apartheid thinking, Trevor. But I’m free!”

o   Truth – “Only in a repressed patriarchal society is a woman’s pleasure considered graphic.”

·       Interview – Showrunner Kenya Barris

o   Trevor praised Barris’s shows for exploring the complexity of Blackness, emphasizing that being Black is not “just one thing.”

o   They talked a lot about a recently-released episode that was pulled from the schedule back in season 4 – I remember hearing about that episode, but I didn’t know it was finally out.

·       Interview – Author Isabel Wilkerson

o   Wilkerson was there to discuss her new book Caste.

o   In her words, “caste is the artificial, arbitrary graded ranking of human value in a society,” while “race becomes the physical manifestation of where one is being ranked historically.”

o   Given another way, “caste is the bones, race is the skin, and class is the accent [i.e. the things we can control/change].”

o   She called on all of us to do our part to help upend the caste system – “Whether we are aware of it or not, we’re all experiencing the consequences of it.”

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