Okay, We Need to Talk about Jughead Again

You know how I recently raved over the magnificent asexual/aromantic representation in Jughead issues #7-8, and how I said I hoped new writer Ryan North would understand this aspect of Jughead’s character with as much skill and care as Chip Zdarsky did?  Well… North’s first issue of the comic is out, and let’s say I’m feeling apprehensive at best (spoilers for issue #9.)

Quick plot breakdown:  Jughead is flummoxed by the new “mascot” outside Pop Tate’s, a girl in a Styrofoam hamburger costume that everyone calls the “burger lady.”  Jughead feels conflicted because, as per his thought bubble, “Burger = <3 <3     Lady = :|     Burger + Lady = ???”  He freaks out and obsesses over the girl in equal measure, leading to Betty’s delighted pronouncement, “Jughead has a crush!”  At her urging, he tries talking to the girl, and they kind of bond over hamburger flyers.  Before Jughead knows it, he’s accidentally made a date with her and all his friends are giving him girl advice.  The issue ends with Jughead on the brink of his date, getting his first glimpse of the girl (it’s Sabrina, by the way) out of her costume.

For starters, as someone who was already nervous about getting a new writer in terms of Jughead’s aceness, North’s very first story being all “Girls, and crushes, and dating, oh my!” was an efficient way to put me incredibly on edge.  I need my ace Jughead so bad, you guys.  I have yet to find representation better than him, and I’m way paranoid about anyone messing with that.

To be fair, nothing in the issue contradicts Jughead being asexual.  When he imagines the two of them together – the gimmick being that she’s still dressed as a hamburger the whole time – I love the moment at their imaginary wedding when he whispers to the minister, who then says, “Ah, my apologies.  You may now high five [the bride].”  And while it’s true that being ace doesn’t mean Jughead can’t be some flavor of romantic, demi- or otherwise, I feel the story still paints him as essentially aro.  Despite Betty’s insistence that he doth protest too much, I totally buy Jughead’s explanation that it’s a friendship crush.  I can platonic crush hard, and 1) I get how it could throw Jughead for a loop if he’s never had one before, and 2) it’s funny that it stems from his fascination at “what drives a woman to dress up like a burger.”

No, I still feel fairly solid with Jughead himself, which is what’s keeping me calm.  What’s really uncool here is how all of Jughead’s friends react.  Betty is thrilled at Jughead having a “crush” and launches straight into playing matchmaker, and when Jughead comes to his friends with the problem of the accidental date, everyone starts in with dating tips and personal love philosophies.  Everyone treats it like “Jughead is inexperience with girls”/“Jughead is nervous,” when in fact, the problem is, “I didn’t realize my new friend was asking me out, and I accidentally said yes!  How can I get out of this without making her hate me?”  (Been there, Jughead.  I’ve so been there – over time, I’ve had to train myself to understand that, “Can I have your phone number?” may not mean, “We should be friends!”)

It’s like his orientation doesn’t matter.  It’s not even on their radar.  It’s like Jughead is a late bloomer who’s finally sprouted, and everyone is just so frickin’ pleased about it.  No one is listening to the actual words Jughead is saying, and no one is telling him anything helpful.  I can’t help but think about Kevin (who isn’t around in this issue.)  Kevin being gay is as well-known among the gang as Jughead being asexual – if Kevin made friends with a girl who mistakenly thought he was into her and wound up in the same situation, would his friends honestly be telling him, “Here’s what you need to know about women…”?  I could see maybe one of them (probably Reggie or Veronica) approaching it that way and everyone else immediately shutting it down before encouraging Kevin to just be honest about the misunderstanding.  Jughead is out to all his friends, and it really bothers me that they’re so dismissive of his asexuality here.

And look, I’m not saying they’re all awesome allies who totally get aceness.  They’re not.  Just in the last issue, in the heat of a fight, Archie refers to himself as “a normal guy” re:  girls and dating, with the unspoken implication that Jughead, being ace, is abnormal.  But the thing is, Archie knows in that moment that he’s messed up.  All it takes is a look from Jughead, and Archie knows what an insensitive thing that was to say.  Here, they don’t even get that they’re messing up.  It’s so tone-deaf and, again, dismissive, that I’m offended on Jughead’s behalf.

The story isn’t over yet, so we don’t know how things are going to shake out with the date or the friendship, or whether Jughead’s pals are going to get the wakeup call they need on how obtuse/uncool they’re being (side note – it’s also weird to me that Jughead doesn’t call them out on this.  Too wrapped up in his own problems to educate his friends on stuff they should already know by now?  Saving it for the next issue?  Who knows?)  However, Ryan North and I are off to a shaky start. 

At minimum, Jughead’s friends are being real heteronormative jerks to him; although I’m sure they’re doing it with the best of intentions, it’s still awful, and I hate to see them doing it.  Plus, even if this story ends as well as it possibly can, with Jughead explaining matters to an understanding Sabrina and his friends realizing why the crap they said was so gross, it’s still a story that makes Jughead’s aceness into so much of a “Thing.”  I adore how understatedly Zdarsky handled this – even during that fantastic conflict between Jughead and Archie in issues #7-8, which is definitely ace-related and rings so powerfully true for me, neither of them ever has to actually say the word “asexual.”  (Which doesn’t mean there’s not power in saying the word itself.  It does, as I discussed re:  issue #4, but I love that Zdarsky could still address it so subtly.)  This, on the other hand, is a Big Ace Girl Problem that’s all about aceness and the complications that it brings and, best-case scenario, is headed for a scene of Jughead coming out to Sabrina in a delicate situation (when the original reveal of his asexuality sidestepped that old chestnut by having Jughead already comfortably out) and teaching his friends an important lesson about not acting like asexuality is just some fricking phase he’s finally growing out of (yep, still mad about that.)  After Zdarsky’s wonderfully-written ace stuff, a story like this feels obvious and hamfisted.

Maybe North is just getting it out of his system now, and then we can get back to business of fun hijinks with our nonchalantly-contented asexual hero?  I don’t know.  All I know is, although I’m trying to encourage myself to stay positive, I’m worried right now.  Tread softly, North, because you tread on my representation.