News Satire Roundup: May 15th-May 19th

Sunday, May 15 – Quick round of Trump stories, including an invitation for John Miller, the fake publicist Trump posed as in the early ‘90s, to come on the show (in a later bit, Trump also took credit for Budweiser temporarily renaming itself “America.”)  The story on the queen’s criticism of Chinese officials allowed John to make a pithy, accurate summation of Britain’s entire colonial history.  We were also treated to a montage of racist/vulgar statements made by the governor of Maine.  The main story, on 9-1-1 centers, did not mess around.  It’s mind-boggling that the technology in so many 9-1-1 facilities doesn’t allow dispatchers to accurate pinpoint locations from cellphone calls, especially since, as John pointed out, the Domino’s app knows exactly where you are.  I wouldn’t say I find it hard to believe that a number of states place so little import on maintaining 9-1-1 centers, but it’s certainly depressing to believe.

Monday, May 16 – Like Last Week Tonight, things kicked off with a Trump story catch-all.  I liked Trevor’s comment that “John Miller” is such a good publicist, he’s completely distracted people from Trump’s tax returns.  More tales of Trump’s misogyny was gross but expected, and the description of the RNC chairman tasked with talking up Trump as “a hostage victim trying to get Stockholm Syndrome” was perfect.  New contributor Eliza did a piece on Trump’s obviously deplorable rapport with Latin@s and the GOP’s desperation to fix that.  I enjoyed the crack about Trump being a telenovela character come to life, although the resulting sketch was iffy.  Anthony Anderson was the guest, talking about Black-ish, and he was great.  I’m so used to watching him play Dre that it was jarring (but nice) to hear him talk as himself – his story about his mom and Obama rocked.

Tuesday, March 17 – Iran thinking Kim Kardashian is a spy is silly, but I loved Trevor’s riff on the US government deciding Iran might be right when they can’t explain why she’s famous.  The latest Supreme Court non-decision prompted a new story on Congress stonewalling Merrick Garland’s nomination hearing; my favorite part was the “one-act play” depicting a recent brunch between Garland and Senate Judiciary chairman Chuck Grassley.  We saw the first of a two-part field report by Hasan on Canada’s reception of Syrian refugees.  I hadn’t known that private citizens in Canada can raise money to sponsor a family’s resettlement themselves, but it’s very cool and I loved the panel Hasan talked to.  The guest was Dahlia Lithwick, who reports on the Supreme Court for Slate.  Naturally, she had plenty to say about Garland and the hole the Senate has dug itself into now that the next president will presumably be either Clinton or Trump.

Wednesday, May 18 – Opened on a few easy jokes about a politician who accidentally revealed a few of his porn tastes to the public.  Don’t you hate it when that happens?  I liked the coverage of Megyn Kelly’s interview with Trump, both the ridiculous pre-show hype and the completely toothless interview itself.  Hasan’s second piece on Canada’s acceptance of refugees featured a great interview with Prime Minister Trudeau, who had an excellent sense of when to joke and when to be serious.  The continued rumination of America as a nation of immigrants that loves hating new immigrants was great.  Jason Sudeikis was the guest, and while "”alking super-serious about the Angry Birds movie” is a blindingly obvious joke to pull, both he and Trevor did it so well.  Sudeikis blathering about his “process” was terrific, and I lost it when he started comparing the movie to Braveheart.

Thursday, May 19 – Opening blurb on protests in China.  I liked Trevor’s comment that the government spends its money gluing down bricks instead of addressing the concerns that make people want to throw them.  Trevor had a great monologue on the continuing issue of trans bathroom rights.  In my favorite bit, he compared it to past bathroom debates (against gay people and Black people,) demonstrating how absurd those arguments feel today and asserting that arguments against trans folk will feel just as absurd in days to come.  Roy and Eliza tag-teamed a piece as a pair of Sanders supporters with differing levels of zealotry, looking at violence and threatening remarks coming from some supporters; I laughed at Roy shutting down Eliza’s repeated attempts to give a Black Power salute.  Guest Arianna Huffington talked about her new book on sleep and the counterproductive myth that success can only be made by sacrificing it.