The Big Bang Theory: Season 9, Episode 11 – “The Opening Night Excitation”

This episode was such a thing that my brother, who has absolutely zero interest in The Big Bang Theory, had to text me when he was saw a commercial for it.  I had a different write-up in the pipeline for today, but that’s going on hold so I can talk about what I just watched (definite spoilers.)

The reason my brother needed my take on a preview I hadn’t even seen?  Sheldon Cooper, one of my precious few possible fictional asexuals, was declared to be “going all the way” in the upcoming episode.  I pointed out that, depending how the show handled it, Sheldon having sex wouldn’t necessarily preclude aceness.  Overall, I was wary but withholding judgment.

In all honesty, I can say that this episode is everything I could have hoped it’d be.  First of all, it’s clear throughout that Sheldon wants to sleep with Amy because he knows it’s something she wants.  They’ve recently gotten back together after a breakup that was pretty hard on him, and he settles on spending the night as his birthday gift to her.  Their first time around, the lack of a physical relationship was hard on Amy, and it was no secret that she wanted more, but Sheldon wasn’t into the right position to give her what she wanted.  Now, though, he feels ready.  It’s not that he’s eager for it himself – it’s that he’s in a place where he feels comfortable with Amy, and this is something he wants to do for her as a means of showing her what she means to him.

This absolutely works for me.  I particularly like that they continually use the term “intimate,” because for Sheldon, that’s what it’s about.  It’s about closeness, not orgasms, and that focus on them as a couple probably helps him feel grounded throughout.  I’m sure some romantics balk at this storyline, thinking it suggests that sex is an inevitable, eventual “next step” at some point in a relationship.  Certainly, a romance doesn’t need sex, and there are other ways to make sure both partners are getting what they need in a sexual/asexual relationship.  However, the odds were slim that The Big Bang Theory was ever going to have Sheldon and Amy working out alternative arrangements for Amy to get her physical satisfaction, and something had to be done.  Amy was clearly struggling with her needs in their original relationship, and if they’d gone back to the same dynamic, things probably would’ve gone downhill again fairly quickly. 

I like that Sheldon seems more sex-indifferent than sex-repulsed.  I would’ve had a problem with it if he’d been shown as doing it when he really didn’t want to.  Beforehand, he worries that he’ll be “overwhelmed,” and he (along with Amy) is awkward as they get the ball rolling, but it’s not a distasteful prospect for him.  And at the end, once they’ve done the deed, it’s played perfectly – he pleasantly observes that he “enjoyed it more than [he] thought [he] would” and makes plans to do it again on Amy’s next birthday.  This is great for me.  He’s not suddenly changed and no longer seemingly-ace, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t have a good time.  He’s open to more, but he doesn’t need more.  There’s no one picture of an ace, and aces can have all manner of different feelings and attitudes toward sex.  It’s a spectrum, and Sheldon is finding his place in it.

Final remarks – even though it’s played for laughs, I love that Sheldon pushes for affirmative consent, and the B-plot, about the other guys gearing up to see the new Star Wars movie, is a great analogy for the whole thing.  Well done, show!  Truth be told, I’m a little gobsmacked at how terrific this was.