Unfortunate Relationship Tropes: Anything for Love

I haven’t done Unfortunate Relationship Tropes since I introduced the feature, back when I discussed Amy (later Clara’s) unfortunate habit of preferring death to carrying on without their beaus on Doctor Who.  Today, the trope in question has copious offenders, but in exploring it, I’m primarily looking at Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel.  (Spoilers for both shows.)

The premise is simple.  One character is in danger, possibly on the point of death.  While everyone panics on their behalf, their love interest goes for the full, “This is X we’re talking about, and you can’t begin to know how I feel!!!  Why are we just standing around when we should be bending the heavens to rescue them, consequences be damned!!!!”  And since both series frequently deal with apocalypse-level events, those potential consequences can be pretty far-reaching.  It’s tricky, because it’s not cool to have the heroes all-but-literally say, “The world can go to hell as long as I can save him/her.”  Surely, our heroes should be able to recognize that, no matter how painful it may be, the world has to come first (not to mention, the imperiled love interest is part of the world that risks destruction if the heroes don’t intervene.)  Yet, even though we want the heroes do the noble thing and prioritize the good of the world, we’re personally invested in the imperiled character.  So, for the hero to say, “Good luck, babe – I gotta focus on the big picture.  Hope you don’t die in the meantime!” doesn’t really engender support, either.

This trope plays out numerous times in the Buffyverse.  On Buffy, when Willow is kidnapped by the Mayor, Oz is so bent on protecting Willow above all else that he forces the gang’s hand into giving the Mayor what he wants in exchange for Willow, severely weakening their arsenal against him.  This seems minor compared to other examples, but it’s significant for me because Oz takes everyone’s choice away; while the others are understandably freaked but trying to discuss what they need to do, he unilaterally makes the decision for them.  When Faith poisons Angel, Buffy’s ready to straight-up sacrifice Faith to save him.  This is huge – not only would it obviously result in Faith’s death, but it’s a potentially-damning act that Buffy may not be able to come back from.  On Angel, when Cordelia is taken over by an ancient malevolence, Angel is adamantly against fighting it in any way that would harm Cordy.  In holding back, he exposes the world to incredible evil, and the rest of the season is spent trying to stop the force that’s born that day.  It’s noteworthy, though, that Buffy’s most extreme example involves sisters, not lovers.  When Glory plans to use Dawn’s blood to open a gate to a hell dimension – one that will only close when she dies – Buffy is prepared to kill her own friends to keep them from bringing things to a swift end if Glory succeeds.  Even though unimaginable horrors will be unleashed on the world and Dawn will likely die regardless, Buffy insists that, “The last thing she’ll see is me protecting her.”  In the end, when hell opens, Buffy stops it by sacrificing, not Dawn, but herself.

That said, the shows get points for subverting the trope on rare, important occasions.  There’s Angel and Spike, who, on Angel, let Fred succumb to Illyria rather than allow half the world be infected.  Both of them, though, are Fred’s friends rather than lovers.  If Wesley had been there, what would he have done?  But the greatest example is probably my favorite moment in either series – Buffy stabbing Angel to keep the world from being sucked into hell.  It’s a devastating scene, with Angel just regaining his soul and unsure of what’s going on, and Buffy, wrecked, realizing what she has to do.  But that’s the thing:  she has to do it, and she does, for the greater good, despite how the cost destroys her.  That right there is Buffy’s Biggest Damn Hero moment.