Relationship Spotlight: Barry Winchell & Calpernia Addams (Soldier’s Girl)

In a film that shows some of the darkness people can be capable of, this relationship is a spot of light.  The warmth of care between these two, their slow, simmering attraction, is simply gorgeous, and it’s a travesty that their love would put either of them in danger from those find it abnormal or wrong.

Their meet-cute isn’t exactly one for the ages.  Before they physically meet, each has caught the other’s eye – Barry is instantly taken with Callie when he sees her perform at the club where she works, and from her onstage vantage point, she picks him out of the crowd – but their actual introduction leaves something to be desired.  Surrounded by Barry’s drunk army buddies, who alternate between leering at Callie and making jokes at her expense, Callie pulls Barry aside mainly to prevent a fight between him and one of his belligerent friends.  As the two walk off together, Barry’s friends jovially remind him of his “mission”:  ascertaining Callie’s genitalia.

But in the midst of that boisterous, sexist, transphobic setting, something begins to happen.  Callie is friendly and self-deprecatingly winning, and Barry is shy but kind in a gentlemanly way.  Right off the bat, Barry makes no question of Callie’s gender identity.  If anything, she’s the one who’s preoccupied by it, flirting offhandedly but never thinking he’ll honestly look twice at her until he asks for her phone number.  And when he calls, they fall almost immediately into a lovely, comfortable relationship.  They joke and play around, they share details of their lives, Callie introduces him to her friends, and Barry brags about the strides he’s making in the army. 

It’s not a relationship without no internal troubles; they can both be insecure (Callie about her looks, Barry about his intelligence,) Callie can lash out when she’s feeling vulnerable, and Barry tends to bottle up his fears or worries until they explode.  However, by and large, they simply are.  Barry reminds Callie how beautiful she is when she doesn’t feel it.  Callie celebrates Barry’s gentleness and sensitivity, which, the army tends to view as liabilities.  Each wants the best for the other, pushing them toward their full potential, but each also recognizes when the other is in a fragile place and needs a little slack.

I really like that Callie being trans isn’t a huge thing in their relationship, but it’s also not completely ignored.  Early on, Callie tries to avoid reminders of it, fearing that Barry will get scared off.  In fact, the first time he tries to attend to her in bed, she begs him not to, insisting that it will ruin everything.  As their relationship progresses, however, Callie starts, slowly, to be more comfortable with letting him see her as she is, trusting that her trans status doesn’t affect his love for her.  She opens up about the last time she saw her mother, she shares her hopes for further medical transition, and her pre-transition history in the military becomes an inside joke between them – they teasingly give each other orders, and Barry admits to being a little jealous when he finds out she outranks him.  It’s part of their relationship, because it’s part of Callie, but it’s only that:  a part.  Not a problem.  Not a complication.  Not an issue.  Just a part.  As much a feature of their relationship as Barry being a soldier, Callie being a performer, or both of them being from the south.  It’s others looking in from the outside that magnify it and try to twist it into something insidious.  When it’s just Callie and Barry, that’s all it is, one of many pieces that contribute to the whole of their love.

Soldier’s Girl (2003, R)

*Disclaimer: Although I do mention it in my review, it bears repeating more emphatically at the top. As excellent as his performance is, it isn’t right that Lee Pace was cast as Callie. It was a missed opportunity for a trans actress to play a leading role, and even though the film does a lot of things right, this is a wrong call that can’t be overlooked.*

 

Based on an awful true story, this is a harrowing TV movie with a heart-wrenching ending.  I’m not gonna lie – it’s hard to watch.  That said, it’s also an incredibly well-made film, and the culminating tragedy, as ugly as it is, can’t sour the lovely thread of romance that comes before it.

Barry Winchell, a private in the 101^st Airborne, has just arrived at the camp where he’ll be stationed.  The demands are punishing, and he faces them with ragged determination.  On an evening out with his army buddies, he meets Calpernia Addams, a trans woman who performs at a drag club.  Barry is immediately taken with Callie; the two begin a shy, tender relationship.  As they get more involved with one another, rumors about Barry’s orientation threaten his standing in the army, and homo- and transphobia on the base threaten his safety.

As I said, the heart of this film is the romance between Barry and Callie, and it’s done beautifully.  Callie’s gender identity is a big factor – it’s what has her at first in denial that Barry is actually interested in her, it informs their intimacy, and you won’t find too many movie romances that include the word “vaginoplasty” – but I love how, at its roots, their relationship isn’t “about” that.  For much of the film, it plays out so quietly and gently, touching on the new ground Barry is exploring but putting greater emphasis on the soulful bond between them.  There’s bashful flirting, Barry treats Callie like a lady, and as their relationship progresses, they both support and push each other.

Equally well done, but much more difficult to see, is the growing suspicion and hostility Barry faces at the camp.  The tension builds slowly but inexorably.  Some of the guys in Barry’s unit are infected with the poison, Barry’s anxiety at his drill sergeant’s off-the-books witch hunt for secret homosexuals is palpable (never mind that Barry isn’t, in fact, gay,) and try as he might, he can’t keep his fears out of his relationship with Callie.  The stakes here are so high, and your heart breaks for Barry as he endures taunts, threats, and worse from the fellow soldiers trying to kick the closet door down.

This is the first time I’ve watched Soldier’s Girl since becoming more involved in the LGBTQ community.  The cis-actor-playing-trans thing definitely bothers me more now, but I stand by my assertion that Lee Pace does a phenomenal job as Callie (I’d hope that, if they were making the film today, Callie would be played by a trans actress, but it’s definitely not a sure thing – in the last 12 years, not as much has changed for trans performers as it should have.)  I adore how soft and heartfelt she is in love, and I like the way she uses her drag queen acting skills to create a self-assured façade when she feels vulnerable.  As Barry, Troy Garity is equally great.  I really like his earnestness; he pursues Callie without handwringing about his orientation, and despite the homophobia and toxic masculinity of his environment, I love the moments where he can let his guard down enough to be open about his feelings, good or bad.

Warnings

Language (including some ugly hate speech,) drinking, smoking, sexual content (including a few tamely-shot sex scenes,) and violence (including one incredibly intense scene.)