"Better a fallen rocket than never a burst of light."
~ Tom Stoppard, The Invention of Love

Saturday, February 18, 2023

News Satire Roundup: February 13th-February 16th

Sarah Silverman is our latest host. She introduced herself with a montage of right-wing pundits talking about her, offering up such gems as, “She’s a clown in her daily life, an absolute fool,” and, “She’s a jezebel.” Afterwards, she remarked, “These right-wing people really f**king hate me! What am I, a gender-neutral bathroom over here? What am I, a Starbucks cup that just says ‘Happy Holidays’ over here?”

Monday, February 13

·        Headlines – Rihanna’s Super Bowl halftime show, more flying objects shot down over American airspace, two M&Ms factory workers fall into vat of chocolate, Iowa and Minnesota move to relax child labor laws

o   An easy joke, but a good one – “Some people were surprised that Rihanna didn’t bring out Kanye West during “All of the Lights.” But when you think about it, it makes sense, because there wasn’t enough space for her dancers to form a swastika.”

o   Loved this, about the unidentified flying objects in the sky – “Wait, you’re not ruling out aliens? I love how we’re not ruling anything out, but we’re shooting everything down. Is it a kite, is it aliens, is it the old man from Up? Who cares! We’ll figure it out when we sift through the wreckage!”

o   My brain went to the same place on the factory workers who fell into the vat of chocolate – “The good news is, when those guys fell in, they found the bones of Augustus Gloop.”

o   Iowa and Minnesota want to make it easier for teens to do dangerous jobs/operate dangerous equipment – “And these lawmakers, they know it’s dangerous, because they’re shielding the companies if the kids get killed on the job.”

o   Roy didn’t see what the big idea was about changing child labor laws – “What’s the difference between mowing a lawn and chainsawing a redwood? It’s all yard work!”

·        Sketch – Dr. Insidia

o   This biographical-style sketch paid tribute to the supposed “first female mad scientist” – “She put Genghis Khan’s brain into a chimp. She made Kentucky disappear. All of it! For three years, no Kentucky! She put a man on the moon, as punishment. His body’s still up there.”

o   This made me laugh – “She was always at a disadvantage. It’s hard to build a laboratory in a volcano when you’re not allowed to open your own credit card. The bank was always saying, ‘Where’s Mr. Dr. Insidia?”

·        InterviewDaily Show co-creator/abortion advocate Lizz Winstead

o   Sarah made sure everyone knew Winstead’s organization, Abortion Access Front, was “also known as Abortion AF.”

o   In discussing why she started Abortion Access Front, Winstead explained, “If everyone felt freaked out when Roe v. Wade fell—were you all like, ‘What do I do?’ I wanted to give people an answer to that question.”

o   Well put – “The reason Roe v. Wade fell, it’s because an abortion case in Mississippi made it to the Supreme Court. Now, if you don’t think Mississippi should be deciding how you live your reproductive life, then you have to get your shit together and start paying attention.”

Tuesday, February 14

·        Headlines – Nikki Haley announces presidential run, U.S. army recruitment decreases, Church of England considers using gender-neutral pronouns for God, romance scams

o   I liked the joke that “Mike Pence’s noose rope” was polling higher than either Nikki Haley or Pence.

o   Valid – “Only Republicans would have the freaking lips to blame the lack of army recruitment on ‘wokeness,’ rather than the number one reason that people really like not dying.”

o   This was a good bit, leading into the piece on romance scams for Valentine’s Day – “Seriously, why do we give people roses? They are already dying the second you cut them. You’re basically giving someone a hospice patient. Love them while you can. Just try to keep them hydrated and make sure they’re as comfortable as possible.”

·        Man on the Street – Jewish culture

o   Sarah took to the streets to talk to folks about their support for Jewish people – She asked a group of guys questions like, “Have you eaten a bagel?” and “Have you ever been vaccinated for polio?”, shouting “Jews!!!” whenever they answered in the affirmative.

o   A fair point – “There’s been a rise in antisemitism, so we’re on the streets trying to find some pro-semitism.”

·        Interview – Rep. Maxwell Frost

o   Sarah welcomed Frost saying, “Well, Maxwell Frost, congratulations on being elected to Congress the same year you were old enough to rent a car.”

o   Frost talked about being the first member of the “mass shooting generation” in Congress and what’s truly going to be needed to make changes around gun violence – “The fact of the matter is, we need a governing majority that’s actually gonna care about this issue.”

o   However, he still had hope based on his conversations with fellow representatives – “I think that when we show those politicians and everyone that good policy equals good politics, then I think people will get the courage that they need to stand up for what we need in this country.”

o   He pointed out that, while he’s the first Gen Zer in Congress, the oldest Gen Zers like him are only 25, which is the minimum age you need to be to serve – “I think the significance here is, the first chance we got, we jumped at the opportunity, because we want to be a part of the solution.”

Wednesday, February 15

·        Headlines – Elon Musk has special algorithm made to boost his tweets, Turkish earthquake survivors, Newsmax reporter asks, “Is Joe Biden woke?”, Adidas considers what to do with unsold Yeezys

o   I smiled at Sarah’s description of Elon Musk as “Twitter CEO and man who has definitely scissored a robot.”

o   Also great? Her explanation of Newsmax – “It’s basically an even more far-right Fox News, like if your crazy uncle had a crazy uncle.”

o   Seriously – “This guy really thinks, ‘Is Joe Biden woke?’ was like a hard-hitting question. The hard-hitting question would be, ‘Is Joe Biden awake?’”

o   I really liked this line – “ ‘Woke’, for the right, is really just an umbrella term so that they don’t say to say specifically that they’re pieces of shit.”

o   Dulcé didn’t have much sympathy for Adidas – “You rolled the dice and it came up Mein Kampf. Welcome to capitalism, bitches!”

o   Dulcé dismissed Sarah’s question about just taking the Yeezy label off the shoes – “We’re still gonna know it’s those shoes! You can’t take the label off, you ain’t tricking nobody. This isn’t a Clark Kent-Superman situation.”

·        Correspondent Piece (Roy & Desi) – Air travel in America

o   Roy introduced the piece saying, “There’s nothing better than being trapped in a metal tube with 300 strangers during the pandemic and all of us praying that the pilot ain’t too drunk to land this bitch.”

o   Two senators are working on an “air passengers’ Bill of Rights” to address issues like luggage fees and compensation in the event of flight cancelation – Desi said, “Yes, we could soon be getting an air passengers’ Bill of Rights. And if it’s anything like the original Bill of Rights, we just have to wait another 100 years for it to apply to women and Black people.”

o   We were treated to a horrifying montage of close calls in which planes almost crashed, including a “mechanical error” in which one of a plane’s wings caught fire – Roy exclaimed, “No shit! I’m not an engineer, Desi, I’m not an engineer. But if the wing is on fire, that looks like a mechanical issue.”

·        Interview – Former NBA player Kareen Abdul-Jabbar

o   Abdul-Jabbar was gracious about Lebron James breaking one of his old records – “He deserves it. He has spent his adult life as a premiere athlete and done an exceptional job at it. And his heart’s in the right place.”

o   Sarah asked Abdul-Jabbar about his friendship with Bruce Lee – He explained, “He was all about brotherhood, you know, and for a long time, Chinese people didn’t like him teaching people who weren’t Chinese. But Bruce said, ‘Hey, you know what? I’ve learned things from people who weren’t Chinese that maybe they would’ve wanted to keep quiet, but they shared it.’ That was his attitude about it, and it made it possible for this change to happen.”

o   Sarah was thrilled to interview Abdul-Jabbar – At the end, she told him, very sweetly, “It’s Mr. Rogers and you—you’re my top two.”

Thursday, February 16

·        Headlines – Kim Jong-un bans people from copying his daughter’s name, scientific study on penis length, John Hagee introduces Nikki Haley’s campaign announcement

o   Sarah got a kick out of a radio station that introduced the penis study by intoning, “It’s 5:03 and penis length is on the rise” – She exclaimed, “I’m sorry, what kind of radio station is this? ‘We’ve got weather on the 1s and penis on the 3s.’”

o   Given some of John Hagee’s past statements, including the claim that the Holocaust was part of God’s plan to bring the Jews to Israel, Nikki Haley saying she “[wanted] to be” him when she grows up was icky – Or as Sarah put it, “Oh Pastor Hagee, I hope one day I can appreciate Hitler as much as you do.”

o   Fantastic line – “Sure, this guy thinks the Holocaust is good and that’s not good. But on the bright side, he does believe it happened. You know, you gotta take the Ws where you can.”

·        Correspondent Piece (Jordan) – Nikki Haley’s campaign launch

o   Jordan spoke with one guy who switched his support from Trump to Haley. After Jordan posed numerous guesses for what put him off team Trump, he revealed that it was for “criticizing DeSantis before his election” – Jordan remarked, “I would’ve guessed kids in cages!”

o   Jordan brought up Hagee as well, questioning Haley’s choice to align herself with a guy who claimed that Hurricane Katrina was God punishing New Orleans for gay people – “If she wants to attract moderates, maybe come in with a little more a moderate pastor who thinks something more acceptable, like tornadoes are caused by too much masturbation.”

·        Long Story Short – Outrage in America

o   Yikes – One poll showed that 15%-20% of Republicans and Democrats think “the country would be better off if significant members of the opposing party ‘just died.’”

o   Sarah didn’t like that plan – “That’s crazy! Just think about it: the entire country would be haunted by the ghosts of your enemies.”

o   I liked Sarah’s reaction to a story about a fake Facebook profile that was used to track its algorithm, which showed “Carol” QAnon posts within days and birther conspiracies within weeks – “Wow. Facebook radicalized a person in just three weeks. Even ISIS is like, ‘Why can’t we get numbers like that?’”

o   Succinctly put – “Now at the top of the anger food chain are the politicians, who benefit the most from our outrage. Because politicians know that rage equals donations.”

o   This brought us to the “schools are installing litter boxes for students who identify as cats” stories – “This is how I know it’s a lie: because they don’t have one example of it happening. Not one. But that didn’t stop them from spreading it, because it benefits them.”

·        Interview – Journalist/author Jia Tolentino

o   Tolentino discussed her book Trick Mirror, which looks at social media and society.

o   She had a good answer when Sarah asked if social media companies have any incentive to stop feeding outrage – “One way I think about it is like, ‘Did corporations, all throughout the last century until the 1970s, have any incentive to stop, like, poisoning rivers and dumping their waste all over the place? They didn’t—it’s cheaper to be shitty.”

o   But just like with corporate pollution, that doesn’t mean things are hopeless – “You can make them change. We could regulate this.”

o   Sarah brought up a nice point about how social media can generate “good anger” as well, citing posts and videos of the Black Lives Matter protests of 2020 – She asked, “How do you keep the good anger and get us away from the shitty anger?”

o   This was nicely stated from Tolentino – “The version of connection that is generated through hate is not the kind of connection that makes sense in real life. It’s only a kind of connection in that, is incentivized and sounds good on the internet, right? In real life, are we actually like, ‘Oh, I wanna spend six hours face deep in, you know, in the business of someone I hate’? No!”

o   Like Sarah, Tolentino also noted great things she’s seeing on social media, like individuals helping people network to find abortion access amid bans and severe restrictions – “We still can and will try to be human within, you know, a mechanism that wants us to be less so. And we can keep doing it.”

I really enjoyed Sarah, honestly a little more than I was expecting. I haven’t seen much of her comedy, but she hasn’t really grabbed me in the past. I thought she made a good host, and given all the antisemitism in the news lately, I appreciated her perspective as a Jewish woman.

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