"Better a fallen rocket than never a burst of light."
~ Tom Stoppard, The Invention of Love

Saturday, November 5, 2022

News Satire Roundup: October 30th-November 3rd

Sunday, October 30

·        Recap of the Week – Liz Truss resigned as U.K. prime minister, Rishi Sunak becomes the new prime minister

o   This was a nice complement to The Daily Show’s piece about Sunak last week, since, while he doesn’t deserve to be hated for his race, there are plenty of reasons for British folks to dislike him, such as his ultra-elitist policies that benefit the super-wealthy like himself – “He once tried to promote a cut in fuel prices by being photographed filling up a car that it turned out was not his, which, to be fair, I could have told you straightaway. That car is a burgundy Kia Rio. The closest Rishi will get to a car like that is to tell it to ‘consider becoming a Rolls Royce.’”

o   Valid – “Ultimately, Sunak’s incredibly lucky that he’s following Liz Truss because the bar is so low right now. All he really has to do is not personally throw the economy into a tailspin and deliver a speech without leaving a weird pause for clapter after saying ‘pork market.’”

·        And Now This – “Unnecessary full disclosures” from newscasters

o   Just a montage of newscasters saying “full disclosure” before revealing something silly – I especially liked, “I had a Q-tip in my ear last night,” “I have had enough shrimp and grits to last me for the next four years, and “It’s not the best corn-related job I’ve ever had.”

·        Main Story – Bail reform

o   This cracked me up – “Our main story tonight concerns crime: Batman’s adversary, and also his kink. Come on. You think someone dresses in a rubber suit just to avenge their parents? He’s a furry with a gadget belt. Grow up.”

o   To demonstrate just how little care can do into deciding someone’s bail, we watched a video of a bail hearing that was about 10 seconds long in its entirety – “That was the whole thing. And I don’t know exactly how long it should take to put a price on someone’s freedom, but it probably shouldn’t fit neatly into an Instagram story.”

o   We looked briefly at bail bonds companies. I laughed at John’s reaction to the commercial for Lipstick Bail Bonds, which featured four women dressed in pink driving pink trucks and the slogan “Kiss Jail Goodbye!” – “You know, it’s not the direction that I would’ve taken for the Barbie movie, but I trust Greta Gerwig’s vision on this.”

o   Currently, nearly half a million people in the U.S. are locked up awaiting trial – “It’s true. Right now, roughly two-thirds of our jail population on any given day haven’t been convicted of a crime, and most of them are there because they simply couldn’t afford to bail themselves out.”

o   Excellent, succinct description – “Cash bail is arbitrary, destructive, and basically criminalizes poverty.”

o   NYC’s police commissioner has made it his mission to connect bail reform to rises in violent crime, but he seems to limit those statements to his media appearances – “Just two days after that interview, Shea had to appear before the state legislature, and interestingly, all the fearmongering and bluster that he’d spread on newspapers and TV completely collapsed in a forum where he was actually expected to answer honestly.”

o   This was a great point – “If public safety is genuinely your priority, cash bail has never fundamentally been about that. For all the ads currently claiming that people charged with violent crimes are now walking the streets, they always were, as long as they had enough money to make bail.”

o   Studies have found that, in some counties, reducing cash bail has led to slight decreases in reoffending – “Which does make sense, doesn’t it? Because if you don’t upend people’s lives by needlessly locking them up pre-trial, they’re in a much better position to stay out of trouble.”

o   Powerful words – “The collateral damage of locking so many people up pre-trial is enormous. To defend this system is to defend a people-wrecking machine.”

·        And Now This – Unnecessary full disclosures from Tamron Hall

o   Just like the previous segment, only these were all from Tamron Hall – I liked, “I cannot stand pushups,” “I do not have a secret talent,” and “I know nothing that’s happening in this show.”

 

 

Monday, October 31

·        Headlines – Georgia governor’s race, Georgia senate race, Georgia voting law

o   The show is live from Atlanta all week, and instead of doing a full Daily Show set-up there, Trevor performed onstage more standup-style.

o   We opened with plenty of crowd work – “So I’m loving the food out here. Everything is extra. I love it. You got that Southern fried chicken, you know? You got that fried okra. You got fried tomatoes. Everything is fried. Even some of your politicians’ brains are fried. I like that. You went too far, but I like that.”

o   I liked this – “One of the things I’ve been loving most about being here is how Black it is. What? What? I landed in Atlanta. I thought I flew back to South Africa by mistake!”

o   Trevor added, “There’s Black people everywhere! It’s like opposite Boston. I’ve never been anywhere like this.”

o   Trevor pointed out that, given its decisive status in multiple races in 2020, no one in Georgia is allowed to forget for a second that the midterms are coming up – “It’s Halloween today. I bumped into a kid on the street dressed as Frankenstein. I was like, ‘Hey, what are you doing?’ He’s like, ‘The real monster is actually inflation.’”

o   We looked at how, despite his “make it harder to get an abortion and easier to get a gun” platform, Gov. Brian Kemp is considered a moderate – “That’s how extreme politics has gotten in America. All right? He’s like, ‘I don’t think we should hang Mike Pence.’ And people are like, ‘Wow, this guy’s got some moderate views. Yeah, he’s a real moderate politician.’”

o   Great line, in reference to Herschel Walker’s many false claims about himself – “At this point, I want to meet the Herschel Walker that Herschel Walker thinks he is.”

o   I loved Trevor’s reaction to a clip of Walker being interviewed by Ben Carson – “First of all, that is the sleepiest interview I’ve ever seen. It’s like if Ambien had a podcast.”

o   We looked at different ways that Georgia’s new voting law suppresses voting rights, such as reducing early voting on Sundays to target Souls to the Polls – “And I’ve got to say, that’s particularly messed up. How are you going to take that away? Sunday voting was the one day when Black church was only five hours instead of ten.”

·        Correspondent Piece (Michael) – Atlanta sightseeing

o   At the Trap Music Museum, a guide side eyed the way Michael offered up explanations for “snowman” and “bricks” at the Jeezy exhibit – She assured him, “I think white people know about cocaine.”

o   Michael was skeptical of The Grocery Spot, a pay-what-you-can mutual aid program to get people access to fresh food, but residents loved it – One guy said, “Man, this is not a business. This is the community.”

·        Interview – Activist/governor candidate Stacey Abrams

o   Trevor asked Abrams about the many attack ads being launched against her – She said, “Part of standing for office is you know people are going to attack you. You can either internalize the attacks, or you can use it as fuel to remind you of why you’re doing this every single day.”

o   She considered her opponent the best argument to vote for her instead – “Brian Kemp banned abortion. He banned background checks. He banned children. He banned books. He banned the truth. And he intends to go further if he gets re-elected.”

o   This was a good line – “He’s been governor for four years. I haven’t—he made sure of that. So if you’re the governor, you don’t get to take credit, but not take responsibility.”

o   Abrams outlined the difference between her response to the 2018 governor’s race and Trump’s response to the 2020 election – “Voting rights, voting access, that’s about who gets to show up. Election outcomes, that’s up to the voters. But access is the responsibility of government.”

Tuesday, November 1

·        Headlines – Elon Musk finalizes Twitter deal, attack on Paul Pelosi

o   Trevor noted that usage of the N-word on Twitter shot up 500% on the day Elon Musk assumed ownership of the company – “Why do they never want to use their free speech to say words like ‘perambulate’ or ‘pusillanimous’? Like, it’s never stuff like that. Have you noticed? They’re like, ‘We want free speech! We want free speech!’ You’re like, ‘Okay, what do you want to say?’ ‘N****r.’”

o   Trevor question Musk’s decision to do away with the “lords and peasants system” of verification by charging $8 a month for a blue check – “It doesn’t make sense to offer it as ‘equality’, and then put a price on it.”

o   Despite the hope that everyone would agree that brutally beating 82-year-old men is bad, some GOP folks haven’t been taking it seriously – “I’m not gonna lie. MAGA comedy is weird. I don’t get the—‘You hear the joke about the old man who was almost killed? Hehe, that’s it. That’s the joke.’”

o   Great point – “What’s crazy to me is these are the very same people—the very same people who are devastated and appalled because somebody was rude to Ted Cruz at a restaurant.”

o   Trevor had no patience for people claiming that the attack on Paul Pelosi is simply indicative of rising crime and that it could’ve happened to anyone – “You’re telling me this is random. It’s like a random, completely random, everyday crime, right? You’re telling me some right-wing conspiracy theorist broke into Nancy Pelosi’s house screaming, ‘Where’s Nancy?’, and you think that was a random crime?”

·        Correspondent Piece (Dulcé) – Is Atlanta really Wakanda?

o   Nice intro – “Now, Atlanta has been called many things—the Black Mecca, Wakanda, a Black utopia. It’s basically the opposite of Portland, Oregon.”

o   Dulcé spoke with a local entrepreneur about the idea, but he wasn’t ready to ascribe those kinds of labels to it – “Utopia makes it seem like, you know, ain’t no crime, you know, ain’t no problems, you know what I’m saying?”

o   However, it came down to this – “It’s a safe Black place to be Black. And you have a fair shot to make it what you want it to be.”

o   The guy had some interesting observations about what it’s like to grow up surrounded by Black people, like how Atlantians tend to be more confident interacting with white people because they haven’t had to occupy mostly-white spaces all their lives.

·        Interview – Rapper T-Pain

o   Trevor asked T-Pain why he decided to open up about his past mental health struggles – He explained, “I love being vocal about things like that because it wasn’t set in the blueprint before me. Everything was always—it’s all about blinging. It’s all about having a bunch of money and having all this. And nobody tells you about the down.”

o   Despite mistakes he’d made in his life and career, T-Pain said, “I don’t think I would change anything. I think the most important thing that came out of how I’ve done everything is the lessons I’ve acquired while doing them.”

Wednesday, November 2

·        Main Story – Attack ads

o   Good line – “You know, if you only knew Stacy Abrams from attacks ads in Georgia, you would think she was Darth Vader combined with Thanos combined with that asshole who cut you off in the traffic. Pure evil.”

o   Trevor took issue with the fact that one ad criticized Abrams for “being interviewed on TV shows,” which included a clip of him greeting her on The Daily Show – “There’s nothing wrong with hugging me! I give good hugs.”

o   So much this! – “Politicians should be earning your vote by telling you what they’re going to do, not just by shitting on other candidates.”

o   I love it whenever Trevor compares being a politician to a regular job – “We don’t accept this shit in any other job, right? There’s no other job where you can apply for it, and then your resumé isn’t what you do. It’s just the list of other reasons that the other people suck. You can’t do that anywhere else.”

o   Oh man, an ad in Oregon said “babies have to watch their backs” against a pro-choice candidate – “I’ve never seen an attack ad trying to scare babies.”

o   This was an excellent point – “I know there’s some people who are thinking right now, ‘Oh, but Trevor, don’t I deserve to know the bad things about someone who’s running for office?’ Yes, I think you do. I think you do. And ideally, you would get that information from America’s responsible, objective news media. That’s where you should be getting it from.”

o   This was great, too – “They don’t just attack policy. They portray opponents as evil, inherently evil monsters. That poisons the entire country. Because what happens to bipartisanship after that? Do people ever think of that, huh? You can’t be like, ‘Yes, I said my opponent wants to drink the blood of children. But now that the election is over, that doesn’t mean we can’t work together on infrastructure. Get on in here, you pedophile! Let’s do this deal.’”

o   The whole thing about it being legal to lie in political ads was mind-boggling – “Here’s the thing. It’s bad enough to attack someone. But to pretend they said something they didn’t say and attack them for that, that’s even worse.”

·        Correspondent Piece (Roy) – Nick “the Hitmaker” Love

o   Roy interviewed Nick Love, who’s had a hand in promoting a lot of hit songs from a huge number of artists.

o   Although Love’s career involves plenty of hard work, he didn’t have a “secret” to his success – Rather, he explained, “I’m trying to put [a new song] in front of everybody who has an ear that I respect. And I’m saying, ‘What do you think? What is this? Because I like it.’”

o   I liked Roy’s response to Love saying that what plays in Atlanta is usually a great indicator of what will play across the country – “So this city is one big-ass focus group!”

·        Interview – Sen. Raphael Warnock

o   Although Warnock didn’t mince words when it came to Herschel Walker, he acknowledged the reality of how tight the Senate race is – “The reality is, we always knew this would be a close race. And I think that speaks to where the country is and where people are.”

o   When it came to Republican promises, Warnock pointed out, “Well, in my case, my opponent hasn’t promised a thing. I mean, think about it. I mean that. And I’m not being flippant. I want you to think, what has he actually promised to do?”

o   Trevor asked why Warnock willingly chooses to highlight working with GOP senators like Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio in his own ads – Warnock said, “I’m the most junior senator in the Senate, and I’ve been able to convince people to work with me to pull people together.”

o   However, that didn’t mean compromising his own stances in the name of bipartisanship – Rather, that meant working with Republican senators on things that they both genuinely agree on, such as collaborating with Ted Cruz to work on an interstate highway that would benefit both Texas and Georgia.

Thursday, November 3

·        Headlines – Atlanta Zoo allows gun owners to carry, Georgia Senate race, Obama and Biden give speeches on the threat to democracy

o   I loved Trevor’s impressions of people bringing their guns to the zoo – “Just walking in like, “Yeah, now let’s see that parrot say something. Say something!’”

o    He took it one further, reasoning that if the humans are armed, the animals should be given guns too – The bit culminated in the awesome title card We Fought a Zoo.

o   I know the feeling, Trevor – “It’s almost like Republicans are running a political experiment just to see how crazy a candidate can be and still get people to vote for them.”

o   I liked Trevor reaction to Herschel Walker saying he’d put his resumé against Obama’s any day – “I’m kidding. His resumé is impressive. I mean, any resumé is impressive when you can just make it up, right? ‘I was a cop. I was an FBI agent, a ballerina. I discovered nitrogen. I also am nitrogen. The list goes on and on.’”

o   This was a great bit – “I love seeing Biden and Obama both doing speeches back-to-back. No, because sometimes you think that you’re imagining it. You’re like, ‘Obama had more energy,’ and then when you see it, you’re like, no, they have very different energies that they bring. It’s almost like seeing a before and after of a NyQuil commercial, you know?”

o   But for both speeches, the issue came down to this – “This election is about whether America wants to continue being a democracy.”

·        Correspondent Piece (Roy & Desi) – Georgia Ninja Voter

o   Yes, this was a satirical take on American Ninja Warrior, but this was such a sad line – “As you know, voting is the cornerstone of democracy, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.”

o   This line also got to me, given that all the contestants were Black voters from Georgia – “These voters are some of the most well-trained in the entire country, but that might not be enough to overcome some new rules this year.”

·        Interview – Former NBA player Dominique Wilkins

o   I liked this sentiment from Wilkins – “I always believed when you play, you play for the people. And because the people who make you who you are.”

o   He now chairs for an organization called KultureCity, which advocates for sensory accessibility and inclusion for neurodiverse people – Like many neurotypical people doing that kind of work, he got involved after having a neurodiverse child.

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