"Better a fallen rocket than never a burst of light."
~ Tom Stoppard, The Invention of Love

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

Relationship Spotlight: Kamala & Muneeba Khan (Ms. Marvel)

*Some Kamala-Muneeba spoilers.*

As I’ve said, I went into the Ms. Marvel Disney+ series hyped to see Kamala in live-action, and she did not disappoint in the least. But very quickly, I realized I was falling in love, not just with Kamala, but with the whole Khan family. In particular, Mr. and Mrs. Khan in the comics have often felt more like plot functions than characters to me, and it’s a major asset of the series to give their characters and their relationship with Kamala further dimension. We’re looking at the fraught relationship between Kamala and her mom today, but rest assured, Yusuf won’t be far behind!

Right from the start, it’s clear that Kamala and her mom are having a hard time. Muneeba doesn’t get Kamala’s intense fandom over the Avengers, she worries over her daydreamy daughter’s flightiness, and she frets over Kamala’s well-being. This leaves Kamala feeling misunderstood, judged, and distrusted, which isn’t exactly a recipe for a healthy mother/daughter relationship. It takes some hard campaigning from Bruno for Kamala to even attempt to ask her mom if she can go to AvengerCon, and when Muneeba swiftly nixes the idea, Kamala immediately pivots to “sneak around” instead of “convince.”

This is well-worn territory, for mother-daughter stories in general and for child-of-immigrants stories especially. Muneeba appears the strict, overprotective mother who wishes her thoroughly Americanized daughter was a little more like her. However, even in episode 1, it’s clear that these traits aren’t just operating at a surface level. All of Muneeba’s rules and fretting come from a place of deep love, along with some fear that she’s not doing her best by her daughter. After first telling Kamala she can’t go to AvengerCon, she tries to offer a compromise—Yusuf can chaperone her, and they can wear matching “Big Hulk, Little Hulk” costumes Muneeba made rather than Kamala’s (slightly) less modest Captain Marvel cosplay. It’s an olive branch, an attempt to understand her daughter’s passions while keeping her safe, but Kamala can’t see it for what it is. To her, it’s just more rules, and she gets nasty with her mom in rejecting the offer.

So the messy emotions of the pilot lay groundwork for a lot of frustration and hurt between Kamala and Muneeba, but a lot of love and sincere effort too. After Kamala gains her powers and starts testing the waters with them, she hates that she’s disappointing her mom when her excuses and cover-ups make it seem like she’s getting into trouble, and Muneeba worries for her daughter more than ever. But just as Muneeba needs to learn to see Kamala for who she is and trust that she can handle things without her mom coddling her, Kamala also needs to recognize Muneeba as a person and not just a “mom,” which in turn gives her a greater understanding for why Muneeba does the things she does.

Going forward, I have no doubt that they’ll continue to have difficulties, but they come a long way in season 1. Once Muneeba learns Kamala’s secret, she’s naturally still concerned for Kamala’s safety—after all, Kamala is now taking on actual superpowered villains and bigoted government agents—but she gains a greater respect for Kamala’s capabilities and does her best to trust her daughter. This gives Kamala the chance she needs to open up to Muneeba, trusting that her mom won’t try to hold her back from protecting those in danger. It’s a lovely journey for the two of them to go on, and it’s wonderful to watch.

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