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Sunday, August 14
· Recap of the Week – Congress passes Inflation Reduction Act, FBI raids Mar-a-Lago
o I cracked up at John’s reaction to Trump’s indignation over the FBI searching his safe during the Mar-a-Lago raid – “No, not your safe! Yeah, it turns out the FBI even checks your locked safe when they go through your home with a search warrant. The only way around that is if your safe says ‘No FBI Allowed!’ on it, and then legally, they can’t look in there.”
· Main Story – Afghanistan
o John began by listing some of things Afghanistan has given the world, including his favorite, the Afghan hound – “Undoubtedly the Real Housewife of show dogs: she’s a messy bitch, and she lives for drama!”
o Very sadly true – “I think everyone knew the U.S. occupation was going to end badly, but it’s still shocking just how bad it was. In terms of things not going the way you thought, our exit was the foreign policy equivalent of putting a cake in the oven, and then 40 minutes later, taking out a live rat dressed as Hitler. It’s not just a fuck-up, it’s a mind-blowing fuck-up that will take years to fully comprehend.”
o Right off the bat, the numbers were sobering – the U.S. evacuated around 80,000 Afghans during the withdrawal, but hundreds of thousands whose lives were endangered by helping the U.S. are still there.
o I liked how this thought was expressed – “I will admit, this is a grim topic, but it’s also an important one, because things are going worse in Afghanistan than you may know, for reasons that have even more to do with our decisions than you might think.”
o John had no patience for the “newer, softer Taliban” propaganda being put out shortly after they seized control, such as shooting a media piece at a city zoo –“Right, because that’s what you associate with the Taliban: freedom for everyone to live their best life.”
o Unsurprisingly, women have experienced the worst adverse effects of the Taliban taking power again, particularly after having made a number of societal gains over the course of the U.S. occupation – As John pointed out, in 2021, “Afghanistan’s parliament had a higher percentage of women than the U.S. Congress did.” United States, look at your choices.
o This interview clip from a midwife was beautifully expressed but heartbreaking – “I humbly request the Taliban do not meddle in women’s rights to education and employment. Otherwise, they are amputating one arm from the body of society.”
o Even after the U.S. withdrawal, our actions continue to make things worse for the people. For instance, because many leaders in the new Taliban government are still sanctioned as terrorists, that cuts off the entire country from a lot of foreign aid and international trade, but in our quest to keep resources out of the hands of terrorists, the people are suffering – “The UN has estimated that as much as 97% of the population is at risk of sinking below the poverty line.”
o It was also noted that the Taliban spent so many years as rebels, focused on fighting and terrorism, that they’re now ill-equipped to actually run a country – “A militant insurgency group is pretty low on the list of people that you want leading a government, right around the Hell’s Angels, the Manson family, and Ron DeSantis.”
· And Now This – Shepherd Smith intros
o These were amusing, Dateline levels of lead-ins. Some of my favorites were as follows:
§ “The poop gave him away.”
§ “Do you know what gasoline tastes like? If not, you probably weren’t born in the ‘70s.”
§ “Florida: there’s an ice cream problem.”
§ “He’s a 49-year-old snake collector… or he was.”
· Finally – Artificial Intelligence image generators
o As soon as John brought up the topic, I was waiting to hear what images his team requested of the generators, and “roast beef superhero” did not disappoint – “Marvel, if you’re watching, there’s Phase 5 of the MCU right there.”
o Things took a fun turn when a staff discovered that, while most late-night hosts averaged less than a dozen image scenarios already created for them, John had a whopping 493 – “On one level, I get it. I get it. I do have a face that’s basically already a boardwalk caricature. I’ve got what carnival artists refer to as ‘a real softball.’”
o After looking at such choice images as “John Oliver in Victorian dress,” John led us to the maestro of John-Oliver-related image generation: @postpoopzoomies – John seemed perplexed by the handle, but I’m nearly positive it signifies a user with a lot of cat experience.
o @postpoopzoomies requested the creation of delightful images like, “John Oliver as a cowboy with a cowboy hat so large nobody has any respect for him.”
o There was also the “cabbage saga,” a series of images that took a wild (yet fitting turn) by the time it got to, “John Oliver having dinner with a cabbage because he realizes maybe he judged them too soon.”
o However, John was upset that the AI fumbled the key image in the sequence, the one in which he marries the cabbage – No surprise, he had to rectify this at the end of the show, complete with Steve Buscemi officiating.
Monday, August 15
· Main Story – FBI raid on Mar-a-Lago
o I loved Trevor’s reaction to an opening blurb about Spain using sheep and goats to clear dry grass in a bid to prevent wildfires – “I don’t know why the U.S. doesn’t do this. We have so many goats. LeBron, Serena, Tom Brady, Simone Biles. Yeah. Yeah. All of those people love being called the GOAT. They love being called the GOAT. Let’s see if they step up when it’s time to eat 600 acres of grass!”
o Speaking of, here was Trevor’s intro to the Trump story – “Maybe he wasn’t the greatest president if you go by jobs created or problems solved or hands washed, but if you go by the number of criminal investigations launched against him, then my man is the GOAT.”
o Same, Trevor, same – “Are you shitting me? Donald Trump might have kept the world’s nuclear secrets in his basement at Mar-a-Lago? The same place that Rudy Giuliani sleeps to avoid the sunlight? That is so irresponsible!”
o This made me laugh – “I can see why Trump is pissed that they took his passport. I mean, Trump is the one who wanted to build the wall, and now he’s gonna need to sneak into Mexico. Karma’s a bitch.”
o Most of the piece was dedicated to the many excuses coming from the Trump team on the classified documents, each of which Trevor soundly thrashed – “You know what, that’s true. Everyone does take work home sometimes. But not Donald Trump! That man barely took work to work!”
o Hee! – “By the way, it’s not ‘taking work home with you’ if you no longer have the job. Right? Can we agree on that?”
o When Trump lied and claimed that Obama took 33 million documents, Trevor didn’t miss the “Barack Hussein Obama” line – “I know what Trump is doing. He’s trying to drum up old Islamophobia. But everybody knows that that’s Barack’s middle name. It doesn’t sound nefarious anymore. You know? It just sounds like you’re his mom. ‘Barack Hussein Obama, you get down here and clean up this mess right now!’”
o Oh, man – “This is the greatest excuse of all time. Trump’s people are saying, because he didn’t think he was leaving the White House, he packed in a hurry when he left. Yeah. Yeah. He was so busy planning the coup, he didn’t even think about packing? Is that what happened? Its like, ‘Guys, I wasn’t trying to steal these documents. I was trying to steal the election! Why would I have packed when I thought I’d have another 10 or 20 years in the White House? It makes no sense! Hello?!’”
o After going through the litany of excuses, Trevor made this great observation – “It doesn’t matter that they conflict with each other. That’s not the point. The point is the flood the zone with so many explanations that people just get lost in all the arguments and lose interest.”
o Ronny was the headline correspondent, showing utter contempt for the “what’s trending” segment as usual – “It’s #NationalRelaxationDay. On a Monday. Yeah, I can’t wait to kick my feet up and go to work for an entire week.”
· Correspondent Piece (Ronny) – Space Force
o Even Ronny wasn’t sure how he scored an interview with the general in charge of Space Force, despite not actually knowing what it does. I enjoyed this exchange – “We’re talking lasers, spaceships, rockets, fighting aliens.” “Absolutely not.”
o Ronny was surprised to learn that Space Force provides the satellites that enable GPS around the world – “So why don’t you open with that? Call yourselves GPS Force!”
o Good line – “Even though I’m still not sure what it does, Space Force represents what the American government does best—find new ways to give billions of dollars to the military industrial complex.”
· Interview – Journalist Alex Wagner
o Trevor noted that one of the descriptions in Wagner’s Twitter bio was “a person who’s worried about the future” – She replied, “What could go wrong? Arctic ice caps melting faster than expected, president shuffling off classified nuclear secrets to a Palm Beach resort, you know, Republican election deniers being elected across the country—what could go wrong?”
o I really liked what she said about what’s happening in Florida’s schools right now, between the “Don’t Say Gay” Act and now the “Stop WOKE” Act – “This is the result. This is the harvest of multiple years of trying to figure out how to re-indoctrinate students into a certain line of conservative ideology. And DeSantis has made it happen, but he has a lot of people behind him.”
o Despite the bleak picture around us, Wagner wanted to be clear that all is not lost – “I don’t want people to ever lose the hope that the project of America is a fait accompli and it’s a wrap, because it’s not. I mean—and you can swing the pendulum back.”
o This was a great line – “Listen, the future of the Republican Party matters not just to Republicans, but to Democrats and Independents, too. If one of the two parties in this country is forever broken or populated by clowns or worse, like, we’re not going to get anything done as a country.”
Tuesday, August 16
· Main Story – Effects of climate change
o Good intro for climate change – “It’s the reason why ‘Hot in Herre’ is now considered a scientific study.”
o The footage of the flooding in Las Vegas was wild – “Las Vegas, of all places, is getting flooded. And you know who I blame for this? All the bachelor parties going to those strip clubs being like, ‘Make it rain!’ Look at what you did!”
o Trevor recognized that Vegas casinos are probably one of the hardest places to evacuate during a flood, since it would require people willingly leaving the slot machines/tables – “Come on, baby! Daddy could use some arm floaties! Come on!”
o This, of course, was the point – “This is the thing to remember about climate change. It’s not just going to make everything a little bit hotter. All right? It’s going to make all weather more extreme.”
o Meanwhile, Europe is experiencing severe droughts. In the Czech Republic, receding water levels revealed “hunger stones” warning of famine – One stone bore a message from the 1600s that just said, “If you can see me, weep.”
o Good joke – “Right now, Europe’s drought is so bad that you can walk across some rivers. Which isn’t just bad for the economy and the environment. It also puts people like Moses out of a job.”
· Daily Showography – Elon Musk
o Normally, Desi does the narration for these pieces, but for Musk, the show broke out the big guns and brought in William Shatner – “He’s part Thomas Edison, part Iron Man, part annoying dude in the group chat.”
o Musk officially changed his title to “Technoking,” through an SEC filing and everything – “Yes, he’s the Technoking, but as a joke. And soon, we’ll all be his serfs, but in a funny way.”
o Great line – “His father made a fortune in construction and emerald-mining because Africa’s resources are like free money for white people.”
o Excellent description of Musk’s first step in building his empire – “Like so many tech entrepreneurs, he earned his unimaginable wealth by doing something invaluable for society—selling a start-up you’ve never heard of to a company that doesn’t exist anymore.”
o Loved this – “Yes, Elon Musk refuses to stay in his lane, much like a Tesla on autopilot.”
· Interview – Actor Sterling K. Brown
o Brown told Trevor he didn’t have any Game of Thrones-like worries for how This Is Us was going to end – “He had a plan to end it in six seasons from the beginning. Like, the story was complete.”
o Trevor made this observation about Brown’s new movie, Honk if You Love Jesus. Save Your Soul. – “What’s interesting is this. You’re not poking fun at religion. You’re talking about people who use people’s love of religion to make a buck.”
o Brown grew up in a megachurch like the one his character pastors in the film, but these days, his philosophy for most institutions is, “You take the good, you leave the rest” – He added, “Like, you can’t find a perfect church. You can’t find a perfect government, you know?”
o I liked his comment about not breaking when a costar (in this case, Regina Hall) is being hilarious, making himself stay in character so as not to mess up her take – “But if you just stay in it and keep the vibe going and feed them more, you never know what kind of, like, oxygen their fire needs to, like, burn even hotter. So that’s all you’re trying to do, is just feed the fire.”
Wednesday, August 17
· Headlines – Rep. Liz Cheney loses Republican primary, COVID updates, “quiet quitting”
o Good opening blurb, on how people will now be able to get hearing aids over-the-counter – “It’s crazy that you ever needed a prescription for a hearing aid. Why? It’s not like you can abuse them. It’s not like there are drug dealers in the street going, ‘Yo, yo, you want some of that extra loud? Yo, yo.’”
o I laughed at Trevor’s reaction to Papa John’s new “Papa Bowls,” which are just bowls of toppings without a crust – “I just wanna say congratulations, America. You did it—you finally found the opposite of a salad. Well done.”
o I liked the description of Wyoming as “a state with a population almost as big as a New York subway car.”
o Dang, Cheney only pulled 28.9% of the vote in her primary.
o Out of the ten House Republicans who voted for Trump’s second impeachment, Cheney now makes eight who’ve either been defeated in primaries or have opted not to run again – “Yes, it is saying something about the GOP that the ‘brave’ stance is ‘don’t hang the vice president,’ but still she stood by it.”
o While the U.S. has basically given up all pretense of trying to do something about COVID, China is still enforcing heavy restrictions, such as a Shanghai IKEA that tried to lock down the store after a customer tested positive – Seeing the people try to get out before employees closed the doors, Trevor said, “Goddamn, did you see that? It looked like a reverse Black Friday.”
o Like many, Trevor was unimpressed by the “quiet quitting” concept – “Yeah, that’s right, people are quiet quitting! They’re just going to their jobs and then just doing their jobs from 9:00 to 5:00, and then, and then, and then… Hold up. That’s just working. That’s work. You realize that’s work?”
· If You Don’t Know, Now You Know – Overdraft fees
o Trevor nicely summed up the issue of overdraft fees – “Even if you go over by, like, a couple of dollars, your bank might hit you with a $35 fee, which makes no sense. Bitch, if I had the $35, I wouldn’t be overdrafting, would I?!? If there has to be a penalty, it should be a non-monetary one because you know the person doesn’t have the money. They should be like, ‘All right, you got to lick the ATM screen,’ or something like that.”
o I liked the reaction to a video of a woman blowing up over her overdraft fees, climbing over the teller counter and taking money from the cash drawer – “Watching this as a bystander must have been so confusing. It’s like, ‘Hello? I’d like to report a robbery!’ ‘Yeah? Who’s being robbed?’ ‘Well, to be honest, both of them, actually. You know what? Actually, it’s balanced. Never mind.’”
o On point – “I bet the executive who came up with this idea blew everyone’s minds. It was just like, ‘You know how we usually take money from people who have money? Well, what if we also took money from people who don’t have money?’”
o At first, though, this was called “overdraft privilege programs” – “Because, you see, now customers would have the privilege of paying extra for being broke.”
o Nowadays, customers actually have to opt in to accept overdraft fees, but because it’s buried in their long customer agreements, most people don’t even realize they’ve done it – “Nobody actually reads that shit, right? Most people see the size of the agreement, and you’re just like, ‘I’ll just wait for HBO to turn it into a miniseries. I’m not going to read that.’”
o So true – “This is another example of how corporations can commit crimes that none of us can, right?”
· Interview – Actor John Boyega
o Boyega talked about the complex issue behind his new film Breaking, which is about a veteran with PTSD reaching the end of his rope – “To hear about the detail of what vets are going through when they come home, the integration back into public life is kind of complicated. For me, as an actor, you know, I’m just [playing] a small part in a jigsaw puzzle in exposing such a story and a perspective.”
o Boyega and Trevor discussed how the film features one of Michael K. Williams’ last roles, and acting opposite him was a dream come true for Boyega – Trevor asked if he told Williams what a big fan he was, and Boyega answered, “I’m one of those people that, I have so many people, especially Black individuals for me, who are inspiring, to look up to. So, yeah, I’m going to let you know while you’re still here that you’re, like, you’re inspirational.”
o Boyega was also excited for The Woman King, another film he has coming out soon, this one featuring Viola Davis being a total badass – “I mean, normally, we get into movies and, you know, male lead wanting to be the number-one movie star, do all the action. That’s overrated. I like the women doing everything.”
Thursday, August 18
· Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That – CDC plans to overhaul agency, Trump Organization CFO pleads guilty to tax fraud, Mariah Carey seeks to trademark “Queen of Christmas,” Russia reinstates “Mother Heroine” award, partying video of Finland prime minister
o Trevor did a perfect impression of the CDC – “They said, ‘Don’t wear masks.’ But then they said, ‘No, do wear masks. But don’t, because we need them. Okay, now you can wear a mask. Any mask. Even cloth. Wait, cloth is the worst! What are you doing? Now you got COVID. Stay inside for five days. No, ten days! No, two days. The point is, trust the science.”
o Savage – “If we had more time, we could talk about whether or not the CDC learned the right lessons from COVID to prevent the next outbreak—well, not the next outbreak, because the next outbreak is monkeypox and they’re already messing that up—but the one after that.”
o Loved this – “Can we just take a moment to appreciate how many people associated with Donald Trump have ended up in prison? Huh? His lawyer, his campaign manager, his deputy campaign chairman, now the chief financial officer of his organization. Usually you’ve got to run a drug cartel to have this many friends doing hard time.”
o Trevor’s delivery was fantastic here – “You’re wondering to yourself, surely, if Trump’s second in command was committing financial crimes with Trump’s company, then Trump must also be involved in these crimes. Well, actually, no. ‘Cause, apparently, the story is that he had no idea what was happening in his organization at all levels for decades. He had no clue. And that, my friends, is the kind of leadership that makes him fit to be the next president of the United States.”
o Hee! – “By the way, I thought Mariah told us that all she wants for Christmas is me. But now she also wants trademarks? Which is it, Mariah?”
o So the “Mother Heroine” award is one million rubles (around $16,000) to Russian women who have at least ten children, in a bid to increase the country’s birthrate – “Wow! $16,000 and all you have to do is have $4 million-worth of kids? It’s a steal!”
o An easy joke, but I loved it anyway – “And I know right now you’re probably thinking, ‘But Trevor, it’s Russia. They can store the ten kids inside each other.’ That’s not how kids work, you idiot!”
o This bit, in response to the video of the Finnish prime minister partying, made me smile – “Okay, I know that clip is extremely confusing for Americans, so let me try and explain. Some countries have leaders who don’t have osteoporosis. Yeah. And-and they party. You see?”
· Correspondent Piece (Dulcé) – The GOP targets drag shows
o Trevor had some good lines in his intro to Dulcé’s piece – “It’s actually so weird that Republicans are against drag queens, because weren’t the Founding Fathers all drag queens? I mean… they’re wearing the wigs.” I especially loved, “John Hancock—don’t tell me that’s not a drag queen name.”
o This was a great bit, too – “And look, I agree this is the biggest danger facing schools. Somebody could conceal carry a penis into a classroom. Oh, the humanity!”
o Dulcé then teamed up with Drag Race’s Kerri Colby to give digital makeovers to some anti-drag GOP figures.
o This was in reference to Gov. Ron DeSantis, I died – “Look at this man’s face. He’s got Jim Crow’s feet!”
o Meanwhile, we got this bit on Arizona’s Kari Lake – “She is a Republican candidate for governor, and she’s also the villain from every cheerleading movie.”
· Interview – Miss Universe Harnaaz Sandhu
o As Miss Universe, Sandhu has been using her platform to support menstrual equity, inspired by her gynecologist mom – “When I grew up and felt like this is what I wanted to do—for me, Miss Universe was never about looking beautiful and wearing, you know, glitz and glam. It’s not about that. For me, it was a platform where you can talk about things that you want to do.
o Looking to issues that previous Miss Universes championed, Sandhu wanted to do something similar – “They always left something impactful, and I wanted to do that, too. I also wanted to leave and create a legacy and empower women around the world and tell them that if I can do it, then you can do it, too.”
o After her win, people mocked and shamed Sandhu online over her weight gain. She admitted how hurtful this was but said she also felt it her duty as a role model to respond with strength – Speaking of the kids who look up to her, she said, “I want to tell them that inspiration starts within you. If you inspire yourself, that’s how you can inspire a lot of people outside, too.”
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