*Premise spoilers.*
I’m glad I finally had a chance to see this movie, which I’ve wanted to watch since to the moment I first heard about it. Given the subject matter, it’s no surprise that it’s as tearjerking as an episode of Call the Midwife. And while I was skeptical about some turns the plot took, I thought it was a beautiful film overall.
Longtime partners Sam and Tusker pack their camper van for a road trip through England’s Lake District. Along the way, they visit family and friends and reminisce about holidays they took together years ago, but it’s not just nostalgia for nostalgia’s sake. Tusker has early-onset dementia, and this trip is something he wants to do while he still knows himself. Sam struggles to balance his fears in looking after Tusker without making his partner feel like a burden to him.
I know, right? Let the waterworks commence! This is by turns a gentle story about love after 20 years together and a heart-wrenching story about the fear of what the future will hold for a partner with an eroding memory. Because of the nature of Tusker’s illness, a very everyday spate of reminiscing, teasing, or affectionate bickering can turn on a dime, and they’re suddenly having a very different conversation. It’s hard and it’s unfair and it’s painful and it’s funny and it’s undignified, and it brims with love from start to finish.
One aspect of the film that’s really affecting is seeing just how considerate and protective Tusker and Sam are of one another. Tusker is quick to reassure Sam he feels all right, that he’s not too tired, and when he has an episode, he apologizes afterward for scaring Sam. Now, part of this is about Tusker himself—it’s fascinating to watch all the little deflections and self-deprecations he uses to cover up his lapses, trying fiercely to hold onto his dignity—but part of it is also a desire to spare Sam from seeing the worsening effects of his illness. Meanwhile, Sam already comes across as a bit of a husk as he desperately tries to hold everything together, taking care of Tusker without letting it come across like he’s taking care of Tusker. After Tusker’s aforementioned episode, Sam slips into the tiny bathroom of their camper van to cry, turning on the water in the hopes that Tusker won’t hear.
Both characters are flawed and complex. Their love feels deep-rooted and lived-in, and their arguments are grounded in so much emotion that you can feel the strength of their relationship even when they’re yelling at each other. As I said, there are parts of the plot that are disappointing to me, choices that I feel are a bit obvious for the kind of story the film is telling. But from start to finish, I want to go on this journey with these men and savor every moment between them.
One of the film’s best assets, and the main reason I was so anxious to see it, is the casting of the main leads. Between this film and A Single Man, Colin Firth may just have the market cornered on “crushingly sad middle-aged gay man” movies. His portrayal of Sam is gorgeous, a man who’s increasingly afraid of the present and terrified of the future but doing everything he can to stay strong. And Stanley Tucci is fantastic as Tusker, so dynamic. Equal parts charming, blustery, ornery, and fearful, this is a fascinating character to watch, and Tucci plays him beautifully. As you can imagine, every single scene between these two is just masterfully done.
Warnings
Strong thematic elements (including discussion of suicide,) language, drinking, and brief sexual content.
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