Monday, December 13
*Note: Monday's Sex and the City reboot jokes were made before the Chris Noth allegations came out.*
· Headlines – Time Person of the Year, California governor models gun-control regulation on Texas abortion ban, controversial Formula 1 racing champion, Sex and the City reboot
o Good description of the Time Person of the Year – “It is by far the most incredible honor that most people find out about in a dentist’s office.”
o Trevor doubted that, just because the Supreme Court didn’t halt the Texas abortion ban, that the same would apply to California’s similarly-styled assault weapons ban – “Here’s the thing. The problem with this idea is that the Supreme Court can make up whatever rules they like. Like, if they want to strike down these gun laws, they’ll find a way, you know? The Supreme Court is like that annoying kid that your mom made you go on playdates with. ‘Tag! I gotcha!’ ‘Nuh-uh. I have a vest that makes me invincible.’”
o I laughed at the description of Formula 1 racing as “the absolute coolest way to contribute to climate change.”
o Trevor did a good job breaking down the Formula 1 controversy for non-fans, even as he acknowledged the oddness of the whole situation in the first place – “Yes, it’s kind of a crazy way to do things. All right? It is kind of crazy. But, I mean, these guys are also driving 200 miles an hour around a racetrack, so crazy is relative.”
o Loved this reaction to Peloton’s stock taking a diving after a character on the Sex and the City reboot dies of a post-workout heart attack – “Yo, how does Peloton’s real-life stock tank because of something that happened to a character in a TV-- how dumb are some people? Yo, TV isn’t real! You think those dragons in Game of Thrones are real? It’s CGI. The Mandalorian-- it’s CGI. The cast of This is Us-- it’s all CGI! No real people can cry that much. Grow up, people!”
· Correspondent Piece (Roy) – Cancellations in 2021
o Great disclaimer – “Now, as a reminder, these are actual cancellations, not one of them fake cancellations that ends up just making everybody richer. Nobody’s getting a Netflix special out of this.”
o This is an accurate explanation of Andrew Cuomo’s early-pandemic prominence in retrospect – “Andrew Cuomo rose to national prominence at the start of the coronavirus pandemic, because in its time of need, America wanted a guy who sounded like Al Pacino to throw up a couple of PowerPoint slides and tells us that toilet paper was on the way.”
o I loved this comment on the Cleveland Indians changing their name to the Guardians – “Now, I don’t need to explain why this was canceled. In fact, if you don’t know why this was canceled, please turn yourself in for self-cancellation. It’ll be easier on all of us.”
· Interview – Political advisor Huma Abedin
o Abedin, Hillary Clinton’s former chief-of-staff, discussed her memoir about her years working under Clinton. This is what she had to say about Clinton’s presidential campaigns – “When we were in it, in the moment, there was no perfect way to be, and one of our challenges-- I actually write, in 2008, we, even on the inside, we didn’t know how to deal with some of the sexist, misogynistic comments, so we just laughed along with it. We just assumed this was the price you pay for being in the game.”
o I liked Abedin’s response to a question about an incident in 2012 where five Republican senators accused her of being a terrorist, recalling her international travel as a child – “Every time we landed, I would turn to my mother and say, ‘Is it America yet?’ Why? Because to me, American wasn’t just a place that you could go to a movie theater – things I didn’t have back in Saudi Arabia – or you could wear what you wanted. It was a feeling. It was a sense of choice and optimism and appreciation for, you know, those principles and values. So I’ve always walked with a great pride as an American.”
o Addressing that experience more directly, she went on to say, “I think it was an appetizer, Trevor, to what we were to face in 2016 when Muslims and certainly many brown people became the other.”
o Abedin talked about how she was judged for the scandals of her ex-husband (Anthony Wiener,) and I really loved this observation Trevor made in response – “I just think, as human beings, it is easier for us to judge a situation that is happening outside of us because, when we’re not in love or when we don’t love somebody or we’re not experiencing a negative thing with a loved one, the answer is obvious, you know? So you go, ‘You should do this. You shouldn’t do that. That’s what I--” It’s like when we’re watching a TV show. You know what all the characters should do. But you’re the character in your own TV show, and then you never know what to do from episode to episode.”
Tuesday, December 14
· Headlines – Omicron variant updates, viral video of teachers competing for cash at hockey game
o Trevor had a valid question about Norway’s new COVID restriction to ban the sale of alcohol in restaurants and bars – “Why are they keeping the bars open if you can’t drink? Are there people out there who are, like, ‘I still enjoy the communal peanuts and shouty conversations and standing in someone else’s pee while I pee. You know? There’s more to a bar than just drinking, guys.”
o Good line – “The point is Omicron is spreading super fast, like, way faster than any other variant. Like, we hadn’t even heard about it a few weeks ago, and now it’s dominating the world. It’s like the Olivia Rodrigo of variants.”
o I liked this point – “We shouldn’t even be calling it a booster at this point. We should just call it ‘the third shot.’ You know? It seems like it’s gonna be completely necessary. Calling it a booster makes it sound optional, like someone’s offering you a hot towel.”
o Great intro – “All right, let’s move on to a story that involves two of America’s most violent sports: hockey and capitalism.”
o Like many, Trevor was appalled at the video of teachers scrambling for dollars bills on an ice rink, competing to get money for school supplies – “Oh, come on. This is nothing like Squid Game. I mean, for starters, you don’t need subtitles to realize how sad this is. And at least if you win Squid Game, you get to keep the money. These poor teachers are debasing themselves to pay for textbooks that don’t even teach slavery!”
· Main Story – January 6th committee examines Mark Meadows documents
o I loved the return of the “give Trump a new middle name” joke – This time around, it was “Donald Jussie Smollett Trump.”
o Trevor summed up Mark Meadows’s reaction to proposed attempts to overturn the election – “Get you a man who loves you the way Mark Meadows loves overthrowing democracy!”
o This was a good bit – “I do get it, though. You know, he can’t be disloyal to Trump, because in Trump world, loyalty is everything. You take care of Trump, and Trump takes care of you. Unless you’re John Bolton. Or Jeff Sessions. Or Rudy Giuliani. Or Melania or Michael Cohen or anybody else he’s ever known. It’s called loyalty.”
o Great reaction to Fox News hosts’ text to Meadows during the Capitol riot – “I love that they were so concerned that this could ruin Trump’s legacy. ‘If he gets somebody killed today, no one will remember that time he told everyone to drink bleach!’”
o Trevor and I had the same thought about Donald Trump Jr.’s texts – “Yeah, it appears that Don Jr. himself thought the insurrection had gone too far and had gotten out of hand. Which suggests that he was okay with an insurrection that was a little more in control.”
· Correspondent Piece (Michael) – Biggest scams of 2021
o The first scam on the list was NFTs – “Yeah, 2,100 bucks for digital toilet paper. I guess it’ll come in handy when I have to take a dump in the metaverse.”
o I liked the description of meme stock (a la the run on GameStop) as “the financial equivalent of the Tide Pod challenge.”
o Michael had some great names for the Capitol insurrection – “a.k.a. Q-cella, MAGA-palooza, White-stock.”
o This made me laugh – “I mean, guys, come on, if the election had been rigged, we would know by now, probably because Biden would have accidentally said it in a speech. The man has no filter.”
o In Michael’s view, the defining scam of the year was ivermectin – “It was the medicine for people who would take anything to prevent COVID except for the free and effective vaccine that could prevent COVID.”
· Interview – Comedian Chelsea Handler
o Trevor noted that seeing Handler in love was interesting to see, given her “horny” standup persona – Handler countered, “I’m still horny, but more directed at one person now than it’s ever been.”
o Trevor was happy for her in her relationship but admitted to being hesitant about the logistics – “If you’re dating a comedian, then who gets the jokes? ‘Cause, at some point, you’re having a conservation, a brilliant premise comes up. Who gets it?”
o Handler was excited to be touring again – “It’s so great to be a reason, as you know, to bring people back together for the very first time. To remind people about togetherness and humanity and, you know, not focus on the politics of all that right now.”
Wednesday, December 15
· Headlines – Omicron variant updates, Andrew Cuomo forced to repay earnings from memoir, TikTokker gets rich selling farts in a jar
o I liked this bit, in response to news that we likely won’t need an Omicron-specific vaccine – “This is actually good news for anti-vaxxers ‘cause that means, like, your old conspiracy theories will work for Omicron, too. Yeah. You don’t have to think up new conspiracy theories, ‘cause that shit is hard. Like, ‘Oh, uh, this is new Omicron vaccine is gonna, uh, make your blood, uh, gay? Oh man, this is hard!’”
o Like many people, Trevor thought the rapidly-rising case numbers among pro athletes felt ominously familiar – “Oh man, not this shit again, guys. Not this shit again! You remember what happened last time, right? One week, we were all like, ‘Huh, lots of NBA players getting COVID.’ And then the next week, we were all at home, showering with our Amazon packages.”
o I enjoyed the riff about this actually being an ideal time for basketball fans in the stadium because, with so many players out with COVID, there might be a real shot for the coach to pull people out of the stands to make up the numbers on the court, thus fulfilling every fan’s dream.
o Great burn on Andrew Cuomo – “I don’t understand why politicians are writing books while they’re in office in the first place. You’re just kind of flaunting how you got distracted with a side gig. Honestly, between being governor and writing this book, it’s a wonder that he found time to sexually harass anyone at all.”
o I laughed at Trevor’s reaction to the woman selling her farts in a jar – “Look, no, this isn’t the carbon-capture technology we were hoping for, but I guess if everyone did it, we could solve climate change. Yeah. Why didn’t you think of this, Greta?”
· Main Story – Top Google searches of 2021
o I liked this bit – “What I learned from the Year in Search is that 2021 was a year of healing. And everyone had a lot to heal from. There was the coronavirus itself. The trauma of the past two years. Personally, I had to heal from all the muscles I pulled from hugging people again. It had been so long. My body wasn’t used to that motion.”
o Trevor thought about how plentifully available vaccines are now, compared to the early days – “I had to constantly refresh a website to book an appointment at a stadium. It was like trying to buy my immune system Beyoncé tickets.”
o We also looked at people wanting to “heal society” through movements like Black Lives Matter and Stop Asian Hate – “Except in the movie Shang-Chi, because that movie was dope. And let’s be honest, superhero movies need fighting. Can’t have all the characters being like: I guess we’ll just talking through our problems. May I please have the Ten Rings? I asked nicely.”
· Correspondent piece (Dulcé) – Kwanzaa
o Great line – “Kwanzaa: it’s the holiday your white friends think your Black friends celebrate.”
o In addition to going over some of the history and traditions behind Kwanzaa, Dulcé also looked at a few reasons it’s not as widely celebrated as some hoidays – “Seven days is a lot of time to spend with family. Even Jesus could only take three days in Heaven with His Dad before He came back to Earth ‘cause He needed a break.”
o Dulcé reaction to the US Postal Service putting out a Kwanzaa stamp was sad but true – “Check it out! It’s the closest thing we’re going to get to reparations.”
· Interview – Actress Jodie Turner-Smith
o In discussing her new star turn in a miniseries about Anne Boleyn, Turner-Smith acknowledged the weird sensation of being a “10-year overnight success,” with her work going unnoticed for years before Queen & Slim brought her into the public eye.
o Trevor noted that, even though a lot of people feel they know/understand Anne Boleyn due to her frequent portrayals, the miniseries shows her in a more multifaced light – “You got to portray her in a way that I think a lot of us have never seen her. On the one hand, she can be this queen. On the other hand, she can be at the mercy of a king.”
o This remark from Turner-Smith really struck me – “The reality is, we don’t actually have a record of her in her own words […] There’s no letters from her to Henry, there’s no diaries. There’s no, like, record of really what she was thinking and feeling.”
Thursday, December 16
· Headlines – Pandemic updates, Martin Luther King Jr.’s family advocating for voting reforms
o Trevor was concerned about Omicron but trying to stay optimistic about how far we’ve come since March of 2020 – “One, we have vaccines. Two, we have treatments. And three, no one thinks Zoom happy hour is a good idea anymore. We’ve learned a lot.”
o Sigh. Of course an anti-vaxxer who wore a thong on his face instead of a mask to “make a statement” compared himself to Rosa Parks – “Rosa Parks? My man, don’t be so modest. You’re more than Rosa Parks. If anything, you’re the Martin Luther king of white dudes comparing themselves to Black heroes for no reason.”
o Dr. King’s family has suggested not celebrating MLK Day next year if Congress still hasn’t passed voter protections – “Holding a holiday hostage is a great leverage. I mean, it’s a brilliant idea. You know, ‘cause I don’t care how racist you are. Nobody wants to give up a day off of work.”
o On the other hand, Trevor knew how deft the GOP could be in warping Dr. King’s ideals, like in this impression of Gov. DeSantis – “We’ve got to defend Dr. King’s dream. That’s why from now on, all Black people in Florida can vote exclusively in their dreams. So no need to show up anymore on Election Day, Black people. We did it.”
· If You Don’t Know, Now You Know – China’s interests in Africa
o China is threatening to take over a Ugandan airport if the country is unable to pay back a loan they used to build it – “Maybe it’s just me, but that statement was not the most reassuring thing I’ve ever heard. Because ‘We’ve never confiscated an airport’ is very different from ‘We’re never going to confiscate an airport.’”
o Good line – “Africa: it’s where I was born and raised, and where you miss the rains from.”
o As Trevor pointed out, China is investing in infrastructure projects in multiple African countries, with the prevalence of loans often coinciding with the country’s loyalty to China (ex: whether or not they recognize Taiwan as a nation) – “It’s the most money anyone has ever sent to Africa without being guilt-tripped by a celebrity sing-along.”
o While infrastructure is of course good for Africa, Trevor noted that these Chinese-funded projects aren’t ideal for job creation, given that China sends a lot of its own workers over to manage them – “And even when Africans are employed, they’re treated differently, sometimes even segregated from the Chinese workers. And that’s wrong. I mean, we need Chinese and African people to spend more time together because of all the hijinks they’ll get up to. I mean, we haven’t had a Rush Hour sequel in, like, 20 years, guys.”
o China’s method of controlling African countries through loans has been called “debt colonialism,” less overt than European colonialism but still resulting in one country wielding a ton of power over another – “What China is doing is a lot like ‘terms and conditions.’ Yeah. They know Africa can’t afford not to take the deals that they offer, and then, when Africa can’t pay it back, the Chinese are like, ‘Right, we’re taking all your shit, and if you don’t like it, read the fine print, bi-atch!’”
· Fake Trailer – A School Board Christmas
o A fake trailer for a silly Hallmark-style Christmas movie about an opposites-attract between between a “woke,” mask-wearing school board member and a virulent right-winger. Predictable cringey – “Now, this holiday season, they’ll both be learning CRT: Christmas Romance Theory.”
o I chuckled at this exchange – “Does your sweater say ‘Happy Holidays’?” “Yeah, it’s more inclusive.” “You never understood me!”
· Interview – French minister of finance Bruno Le Maire
o Trevor had an interesting response to Le Maire’s assertion that “France is booming” – “What I’ve learned in America, and we learn it all over the world, is that the reality may not necessarily match the perception that some people have, and that perception can oftentimes be more powerful in terms of determining who gets to lead.”
o Le Maire pushed back against those in his country who think that immigrants and/or people of color can never be “truly” French – “I think it would be a total mistake to think that you can only be French if you are white and if you have heirs of 100, 200, or 300 years. I think it would really be a mistake. You can be Black. You can be white. You can be a Muslim. You can be Jew. You can be Catholic. You can come from Brittany, or you can come from Morocco. That’s not an issue, provided that you love France.”
o These were his words for a far-right agitator in his country – “He’s pretending he’s rescuing the people. He’s not rescuing the people. He’s dividing the people. He’s filling the people with fear and with hate. That’s exactly what we want to fight against.”
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