Monday, December 1
· Headlines – Detective works undercover as a mall Santa, Russian cyberattacks against U.S. agencies, first Pfizer vaccines distributed in the U.S.
o Trevor’s advice about hacking included this gem – “Give all your contacts celebrity names in your phone, so that way, people will think you were getting booty texts from, like, Oprah or Chris Pine instead of Sweaty Dave from your baseball team.”
o In the vaccine story, I appreciated this comment – “You know who I really feel shitty for in this situation, is the Fedex and UPS drivers. They’re hauling this vaccine all over the country, but they don’t get one for themselves?”
· Main Story – Trump persists in election challenges
o I loved the bit about the Supreme Court “sending Trump straight to voicemail” by rejecting his election lawsuit out of hand, that was great.
o But as Trevor pointed out, “Donald Trump did not become a successful businessman by accepting that he was a failed businessman,” so it’s not like he’s letting little things like the Electoral College or dozens of failed legal challenges get in his way.
o So accurate – “This is how far Republicans have gone since Election Day. You remember at first, they were like, ‘Hold on, hold on, we don’t know who’ll win the recounts. Just let the process play out.’ Then they recounted all the votes and the Republicans were like, ‘We don’t know who’ll win the legal challenges! Just let the process play out.’ And now that the legal challenges are over, they’re like, ‘We don’t know who Congress will vote for! Let the process play out.’” It culminated in Trevor looking ahead to 2021, where he predicted they’ll be saying, “I know Joe Biden says he’s president, but…”
· 2020 review – Biggest Google trends
o Naturally, pandemic-related words and questions topped Google’s search trends this year – “The only thing COVID-19 didn’t make worse was the length of your Netflix queue. You blazed through that shit!”
o Great line – “Actually, the hardest part of cutting your own hair is doing the back part. But it doesn’t matter these days because it just needs to look good enough for your video chats. Business in the front, pandemic in the back.”
o I loved this one this – “I’ll tell you what I learned! For me, hair is now the biggest inaccuracy in all apocalypse movies. I mean, look at Will Smith in I Am Legend. That’s the story of the last man on Earth who can still somehow get a tight fade with razor work on temples and everything?!”
· Correspondent Piece (Desi & Roy) – Voter suppression in Georgia
o Truer words, spoken to a man who waited 11 hours to vote – “Wow, 11 hours! No one should have to wear a diaper to exercise their right to vote.”
o That same man surmised the reason for the ultra-long lines when he got inside and realized there were only 10 working machines in his polling place.
· Interview – Musician Pharrell Williams
o Williams broke down the philosophy between his nonprofit organization, the Black Ambition Initiative – “We don’t have enough of a voice in our country because we don’t own enough. Our dollar, our currency, the African American/African diaspora dollar stays in its community for six hours. Why? Because we don’t own enough businesses to keep our money and currency circulating, right? So it’s our theory that if we can find a way to galvanize as many Black entrepreneurs as possible, then all of the sudden, the community has access to proportionate education, proportionate access to healthcare, proportionate access to representation and legislation.”
o He also discussed his movement to make Juneteenth an official public holiday. I thought it was interesting that his more immediate focus is appealing directly to corporations and businesses, urging them to declare it a paid holiday rather than putting all his energies into lobbying the federal government.
o Williams acknowledged that he loves the 4th of July as a holiday, “But my ancestors fought in that war when they were not free.”
Tuesday, December 15
· Headlines – Wisconsites warned against eating “cannibal sandwiches”, refunds offered for bug-riddled Cyberpunk 2077 game, Electoral College further cements Biden’s victory, William Barr exits DOJ
o Trevor upon learning about raw-hamburger-meat “cannibal sandwiches” – “Okay, I don’t wanna get any more shit from Americans about what others countries eat. ‘Ew, Africans eat bugs?!’ Yeah, but we cook them first, you savages!”
o Obvious but amusing joke about the Cyberpunk 2077 glitch that spontaneously causes characters’ dicks to appear onscreen – “This is a huge glitch! Well, not a huge glitch, an average-sized glitch. Really, it’s not about the size of the glitch….”
o Trevor wasn’t so sure about Putin’s congratulatory message to Biden – “‘I am ready for interaction and contacts with you’? Sounds like Mike Pence getting frisky.”
· Interview – President Barack Obama
o The brunt of the episode was devoted to Trevor’s interview with Obama – the opening bit was fun, with Trevor debating how he ought to address Obama and gently hinting that Obama shouldn’t “filibuster” his remarks, leading Obama to admit, “Michelle has been speeding up my audiobook.”
o Promoting his new memoir, Obama talked about his goal of showing people what they can accomplish – “Not everyone’s going to wind up being president, but if you decide that your voice can make a difference, decide that you can have an impact, then, through the ups and downs, you will end up having some pretty extraordinary experiences.”
o Trevor wanted to know if Obama still keeps in touch with the different world leaders he worked with as president – “Like, do you send Angela Merkel memes?”
o I liked this remark, about the young leaders Obama assembled across Africa as part of his foundation – “The thing they all had in common was this sense, not only that the world could be better and they had a role to play in it, but also the belief that they couldn’t do it by themselves, that they had to in some ways unlock the power and potential of other people.”
o Trevor brought up a really interesting point about America’s seeming retreat as a world power under the Trump administration – he got at the dichotymy of it, that it’s been shameful to see America ceding the previous leadership role it once had but, at the same time, other countries stepping forward and forging their own paths outside of America’s “guidance” shouldn’t be seen as a bad thing.
o Trevor gave Obama a chance to clarify an earlier comment on the “snappy slogan” of “defund the police – He said, “If we in fact want to translate the very legitimate belief that how we do policing needs to change […] if we describe [what that change looks like] to, not just white folks, but let’s say Michelle’s mom, that makes sense to them. But if we say, ‘Defund the police,’ not just white folks but Michelle’s mom might say, ‘If I’m getting robbed, who am I gonna call and is somebody gonna show up?’”
o In speaking to some of the disconnect between Black Lives Matter activists and Democratic candidates/congressional representatives, he further added, “An activist, a movement leader, is going to provide a prophetic voice and speak certain truths that somebody who is going to be elected into office will not be able to say.”
Wednesday, December 16
· Headlines – Prince Harry & Meghan Markle start a podcast, CNN investigation into poisoning of Putin critic, Tom Cruise rants to film crew about following COVID protocols, Santa declared immune to COVID-19
o I loved Trevor’s impression of Harry and Meghan’s podcast – “Prince Harry is offering 20% off Casper Mattresses with the promo code BLUEBLOOD2020.”
o I laughed out loud at Trevor describing a CNN reporter’s attempt to interview a Russian assassin as if she were “someone who got a wrong drink order at Starbucks” – “Sir, sir, if you won’t talk to me, if there another assassin I could speak to? Is there an assassin manager?”
o Trevor was iffy on the whole “Santa is immune to COVID” thing – “I don’t know if we should be celebrating yet. Maybe Santa is immune because he’s Patient Zero. Think about it: this all started when? Last winter, right? Around the same time that Santa goes everywhere around the world. I see what you did, Santa Claus! You owe those bats an apology!”
· Post-Election News – Trump successfully rolls back water-flow regulations, Mar-a-Lago neighbors don’t want Trump living there after he leaves office
o Fun scenario to imagine – “I think it’d be funny if Joe Biden could put the water restricters back on while Trump was in the shower.”
o I liked Trevor’s take on Mar-a-Lago’s neighbors trying to keep Trump out – “Okay, that is a low blow. Do you know how crushing it must be for Florida to reject you as a citizen? ‘Okay, we’ll take the guy that kickboxes alligators, but that Donald Trump guy is too much.’”
o We also had an amusing bit on “the only person” who can get through to Trump on the fact that he lost the election: Trump himself, obviously. We got some Apprentice remix footage of Trump firing himself.
· Correspondent Piece (Desi) – Fox News “family Christmas” Zoom call
o The best part of this bit was some of the different Zoom handles the Fox News personalities had – I especially liked “Kilmeade Softly”, “CoolAsTuck”, and “Jeanine and Tonic.”
· Interview – Actor James Corden
o When Trevor saw that Corden was calling into the interview from the set of The Late Late Show, he exclaimed, “I feel like you’re tricking me into you interviewing me, because you’ve got a desk. I’m interviewing you, James Corden!”
o Corden’s perspective on filming his show during the pandemic – “I’ve always considered it a privilege to get to go to work and do a show everyday, that’s never been lost on me. But in this moment now, I think everybody feels like, ‘Well, look, we’re working, and that puts us in the luckiest 5% of people.’”
o They discussed Corden’s new movie The Prom, and Trevor admitted to feeling “triggered” by seeing so many characters touching each other while dancing and singing inches from one another’s faces.
· Interview – Actress Tessa Thompson
o At Trevor’s prompting, Thompson discussed what she looks for in choosing a particular project or role – “I also think about, where have we not been? Where have we not seen Black people, people of color, in certain spaces?”
o I liked what she said about how integral music is to her new film Sylvie’s Love, so much so that she was given a soundtrack of songs to accompany her first read through the script.
o I loved this comment – “Certainly in my own trajectory, I can trace every pivotal moment in my career to a person of color, or a woman, and in some cases both, and I think that really points to the necessity that we need to be in those positions of power. And when we’re there, it can’t be enough that we’re there, we have to make sure that other folks can be in the room with us. It’s not enough to be in proximity to power, we also have to possess it.”
o I also really liked her observation that inclusion is “not something that happens by mistake. You have to make it a mandate at the studio level.”
o Trevor’s endorsement of Sylvie’s Love was simple but sweet – “It was nice to see human beings loving each other at this time.”
Thursday, December 17
· Donald Trump’s 100 Most Tremendous Scandals
o This is a repeat of the scandal countdown Roy did shortly before the election. I won’t go over it again, just re-list the particular scandals they highlighted
o #76 – Profiting off of his presidency
o #51 – Doctoring a map of Hurricane Dorian’s expected trajectory
o #26 – Refusing to denounce white supremacists
o #1 – Mishandling and downplaying the coronavirus pandemic
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