News Satire Roundup: April 29th-May 2nd

Monday, April 29 – First was an Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That.  It covered Trump reaching the 10,000^th(!) lie of his presidency, William Barr dodging a congressional subpoena, R. Kelly missing his court date, an impending Uber strike, and a flurry of international news (the note on Spain having its third election in four years was wild.)  There was also a bit on Avengers:  Endgame and the lengths to which fans have retaliated against spoilers, including a petition to have a pro football player fired for tweeting the ending.  I liked Trevor and Roy’s debate on spoilers, especially Roy’s idea to include where we are in our favorite series in our introductions.  (Ex:  “I’m Roy, he/him, Game of Thrones season 6.”)  The guest, Pete Buttigieg, had two segments.  I liked what he said about his experience as the mayor of South Bend and the importance of staying aware of his white male privilege and the blindspots that come with that. 

Tuesday, April 30 – I liked Trevor’s crack on how the U.S. dismisses a coup if it’s by someone they like – “It’s not a coup, it’s just cool.”  We also got the reappearance of ISIS’s leader, the Instagram trend of photoshopping “fake-cation” pics, and the Pope’s weirdly-specific edict that hairdressers shouldn’t gossip.  Next was a story on media coverage of the Democratic primary race, with the many candidates fighting for attention.  Amusing jokes about a car crashing into a building where Cory Booker was speaking barely making the news.  Dulce dropped by to talk about Joe Biden’s appeal with Black women (and lament Idris Elba’s marriage.)  Her theory?  That a Biden presidency would mean “Obama’s back in the White House!”, even if it’s just through a dinner invitation.  Actor Jesse Williams was the guest, talking about multiple generations of Grey’s Anatomy fans and what it’s like to direct his castmates.

Wednesday, May 1 – I agree with Trevor that Facebook’s “Secret Crush” feature sounds like a recipe for trouble (and a guaranteed way to get secret crushes who turn out to be your grandma,) and the bit on some workplaces banning handshakes “just to be safe” re: sexual harassment was messed up, although I enjoyed Trevor’s rant about handshakes.  The blurb on the world’s sexiest accents, though, featuring a bevy of accents from Trevor (including his sexy Nelson Mandela!), was great.  We covered William Barr’s testimony and the letter from Mueller about the damage of his summary (which, “wasn’t a summary” but “summarized the conclusions?”  Hmm.)  Roy brainstormed how to get people properly worried about climate change, activating both the “caveman” and “Einstein” parts of their brain at the same time.  The guest was Chelsea Handler, talking about her many ventures and why legalized weed has helped her cut back on drinking.

Thursday, May 2 – More William Barr, with him skipping on his second day of testimony and one congressman using the time to mock him with chicken memes.  We also got quick blurbs on a plan to DNA-test migrant families at the border (ugly) and the measles outbreaks in the U.S., which are absurdly out of control.  Next up, we had Russia’s moves to seize control in the Arctic (complete with Russian soldiers on reindeer-drawn sleds!)  Great points about former colonizers “condemning” past atrocities and then gleefully calling the Arctic “the new Africa” as soon as soon natural resources become more accessible there – the PSA of Africans giving advice to the Arctic was excellent.  Jordan Klepper returned briefly to promote his new docuseries, meeting folks from around the country to explore various issues.  Guest Charlize Theron talked about branching out into a new genre for her (romantic comedies) and why she’ll never do a musical.