News Satire Roundup: February 10th-February 14th

Moving News Satire Roundup to Saturdays from now on.  With Patriot Act back this week and Last Week Tonight on its heels, I just figured I’d take an extra day to make sure I have the time to see all three shows’ episodes and do my write-ups.

Sunday, February 10 – Hasan is back!  He started out talking about his own notoriety, getting an episode banned in Saudi Arabia where he was critical of their crowned prince.  I liked his point that the only Netflix show getting banned for violating Saudi Arabia’s “moral values” was the one hosted by a Muslim (Sabrina, BoJack Horseman, and pork-laden cooking shows were all acceptable,) and he brought the segment around nicely to the journalists and activists being jailed and killed there for speaking up, which is a right he still has as an American.  The main topic for the episode also dealt with government censorship and “cyber-crime”:  China’s.  Hasan looked at the “arms race” between activists and censors, with activists continually coming up with new ways to express dissent on social media before the censors catch wind of it and ban their hashtags/memes/etc.  Some excellent commentary on the country’s #MeToo movement.

Monday, February 11 – Trevor had some great comic rants, on long Grammy speeches and why a billionaire like Jeff Bezos was taking dick pics in the first place (I loved him wondering if Bezos posed with a fabergé egg to show how rich his dick was.)  More from Ralph Northam, accidentally calling slavery “indentured servitude” and giving “the wrong ‘no’” for why he didn’t moonwalk during his blackface apology.  I liked Trevor’s theory on why many Black Virginians don’t want him to step down, since he “owes” them now.  We had the latest from Democratic 2020 candidates, as Kamala Harris discussed legalizing weed and Amy Klobuchar’s official announcement was marred by news of her terrorizing her staff.  I agree with Trevor; “I have high standards” shouldn’t mean “I’m gonna throw this binder at you.”  Phoebe Robinson of 2 Dope Queens was the guest, talking about dropping knowledge through dick jokes.

Tuesday, February 12 – We started with El Chapo’s verdict (turns out the “drug lord El Chapo” branding was a bit too effective!), Katy Perry’s racially-problematic footwear, and the strangest TSA confiscations of the year (poor small-town library who lost its ribbon-cutting ceremony due to a lack of giant scissors.)  Good story on Trump’s rally in El Paso.  Trump’s twist of logic that “much of the wall has already been built” was a head-scratcher, and I loved Trevor’s analysis of how Trump turned a crowd of white people against dogs (“Obama had a dog!!!” – what even is that?)  We then got a trio of bizarre animal stories from Trevor’s “Australian cousin”:  polar bears invading a Russian town, Pablo Escobar’s smuggled hippos roaming Colombia, and a caged tiger found in an abandoned house.  I loved the line, “Who forgets their tiger when they move?!”  The guest was Spike Lee, discussing how BlacKkKlansman parallels the world today.

Wednesday, February 13 – First up was four categories relegated to the commercial breaks at the Oscars (liked Trevor’s plan to have them work ads into their speeches.)  Great bit on smaller tax refunds, with Trevor riffing on people acting like it’s a gift when it was always their money, and I loved his response to Howard Schultz not “seeing color”:  “That’s perfect, ‘cause I don’t hear bullshit.”  Next was the Green New Deal.  I liked the jokes on just how wide-reaching it is for a climate proposal (it’s gonna give everybody jobs, Medicare, and housing?), along with the montage of fearmongering Fox News coverage claiming, among other things, that it will outlaw barbeque.  The show shook up their usual “interview people outside a Trump rally” piece by sending “Bricky,” the border wall mascot they created.  The guest, documentarian RaMell Ross, talked about his Oscar-nominated film showing everyday minutiae of Black life in the South.

Thursday, February 14 – Opening blurbs on Trump’s “national emergency” at the border (loved the line that people don’t spend months debating whether or not real emergencies are emergencies,) Amazon backing out of its New York move, and an epidemic of turnstile jumpers on the subway (featuring Trevor’s plan to line the border with turnstiles instead of a wall.)  We also got Trevor’s Valentine’s Day message, assuring men it’s the thought that counts and urging women to “dump his ass” if he doesn’t pay up.  It was also the anniversary of the Parkland shooting, so we looked at the heartening rise in state gun legislation last year, even if the federal government did little to help.  Roy had a new CP Time on music Black people don’t mind white people appropriating:  EDM, the banjo, and square dancing.  The guest, Chris Wilson, discussed turning his life around in prison and fighting through the barriers he faced after getting out.