At times,
May can give off the impression of being a bit of a one-trick pony – stoic
super-spy badass (which, don’t get me wrong, is a pretty great one trick) – but
at her best, she’s a lot more than that.
She was the first Agents of
S.H.I.E.L.D. character to hook me, and even now that the field has grown more
crowded, I still love it whenever she’s featured on the show (May-related
spoilers, though I won’t hit on what’s going down this season.)
Seeing
May now, as Coulson’s hyper-capable number two and the devoted-yet-reserved
quasi-mama-bear of the team, it was strange to go back and watch her story from
the beginning. Granted, when she and
Coulson are both so serious about “I’m just here to fly the plane! No field work!” and make cryptic references
to the life-altering mission in Bahrain, you know there’s something to
uncover. In fact, the pilot isn’t over
before we see evidence of the skills that earned her the nickname The
Cavalry. But thinking how involved she
is now in both the missions and the critical decisions, it’s wild to remember
that she originally wants nothing to do with any of it. She agrees to join Coulson’s team strictly as
a pilot, nothing else (of course, she has a bigger motivation than just flying
the plane, but Coulson doesn’t know that.)
But it’s
only a matter of time before May finds the field calling to her and she’s in
the thick of it. I love watching May work.
Needless to say, her combat skills are amazing, she’s great undercover
(so much so that she can scare the rest of the team, who are only used to
seeing her as her quiet, serious self,) she has good instincts/attention to
detail, she’s unflappable in a crisis, and when she follows orders, she follows
them absolutely. It’s understandable why
she left the field after Bahrain, but I’m glad she found her way back to it,
because it’s clear how perfect this work is for her. (I love the moment at the end of season 2
when she’s packing for a vacation and, after a bit of deliberating, decides to
bring a gun with her. That little smile
as she slips it into her bag is May through and through.)
May has
been an agent a long time and she’s seen some of the worst it has to
offer. As a result, her walls are pretty
high. Her all-business attitude
intimidates some of her team members, and because she often processes her
emotions in private, she can be perceived as being cold. Some of the others on the team, especially at
first, characterize her as less feeling, less bothered by the more disturbing
things they encounter and the tough calls they’re asked to make. In truth, though, May isn’t unfeeling. There have been times in her life when she
probably thinks she’s felt too much, and she knows the scars that can leave. And so, she’s guarded; she frequently acts unmoved by things, but that’s
because she’s intentionally holding her feelings at arm’s length. She never wants to feel the hurt of Bahrain
again, and what’s more, she wants to keep everyone safe in the field, so she
endeavors to keep a clear head and ride out whatever storms she faces.
And for
those like season-1 Skye who still need proof that May has a heart, that
strategy doesn’t always work for her.
She breaks. She tries to push her
feelings down, or channel them through exercise or combat, but there are
moments when she can’t hold it back anymore.
Over the seasons, she’s gotten a little better about dealing with things
or confiding in one of her friends before she gets to that point. However, it’s still one of the few skills she
has yet to master.
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