Keeping
up the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend love fest
with our leading lady, the wonderful, awful, crazy, hurting, tenacious,
sunshiny, depressed, wildly imaginative Rebecca. She pretty much immediately joined the ranks
of my favorite Beautiful Mess characters (a comment on the beauty of their
messiness, not their physical appearance, even though Rebecca does happen to be
gorgeous) – I just love rooting for her to make good (premise spoilers.)
If
someone had told me I would fall so hard for a female character who moves
across the country to be near an old crush, I would not have believed them, but
Rebecca absolutely works for me in a way that defies all logic. I’d say that, in large part, it’s crucial
that the show makes no bones about how messed-up this motivation is, and
honestly, Rebecca does the same. It’s
why she’s in such deep denial for so long about why she really moved to West
Covina, because she’s just done something she’s never thought herself capable
of and it takes time for her to cut through her own excuses and admit the
truth.
Because
Rebecca is screwed up, majorly
so. She’s incredibly impulsive, lies
expertly to herself and others, carries around a ton of unresolved parental
issues, crafts a shiny fantasy world that’s easier for her to deal with than
her depression and anxiety, and is a master of self-sabotage. Over the course of season 1, she does some
unambiguously terrible things that hurt herself as much as they do those around
her; when she sings songs of self-disgust like “You Stupid Bitch” and “I’m the
Villain in My Own Story,” she’s come by them honestly. It can seem like, for every inch she crawls
forward, she jumps a foot back.
But she
is working on it. By fits and starts, with lots of relapses and
tangents, but she does attempt to be better – again, both to herself and
others. Rebecca reminds me of a quote
from Pushing Daisies where Vivian
says, “I think it’s brave to try to be happy.”
That’s what I see Rebecca ultimately trying (and struggling) to do. She’s trying to come to terms with herself
and find some kind of contentment in her life.
At present, one of her main problems is the fact that she’s tied the
entire concept of happiness to one guy.
Until she realizes that Josh can’t “fix” her, she’s not going to be able
to truly move forward, but I’m excited to see her make steps toward the sort of
happiness that comes from within, not from an external source.
And
really? I just love her. I love that she imagines life as a musical to
help her make sense of it. I love that
she enjoys reading about the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire. I love that she has a passion for creative
donut flavors. I love that she casually
calls out sexism, racism, and ableism she encounters. I love that she’s trying to figure out what
she wants for herself in life, and that she’s finally trying to do it on her
own terms instead of living the life her mom mapped out for her. I love that she can’t solve all her problems
on a dime, and I love it when she finally comes clean to someone about the hurt
she’s caused them, even when that someone is herself.
Rebecca
may have a long way to go, but I hope I can watch her try to get there for many
seasons to come!
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