It’s
not too often that you find a teen drama that genuinely treats its adult
characters as people, but The Fosters
really delivers with Stef and Lena.
Though, like the others, their plots can sometimes be dragged down by
melodrama, the matriarchs manage their brood with loving support, and the
relationship between the two frequently serves as the heart of the show.
Stef
and Lena are a fine example of an odd couple that just works. They’re very different people, and when they
have conflicts, those differences can fuel it, but a lot of the time, each
complements the other with their individual strengths. Police officer Stef is a fiercely protective
mama bear with deep emotions she often has trouble expressing, and Lena,
assistant principal at the kids’ school, is a caring nurturer whose eagerness
to keep everyone happy means she sometimes presses down her own pain,
annoyance, or concern. Both are flawed
women, but when they work as a team, their separate qualities go well together
and usually get the job done.
Despite
their big, busy family and the seemingly endless stream of high drama that
follows them, I love the moments that show them making time for each
other. This is a relationship that
really thrives on the small scenes. As
they commiserate about their hectic days over a glass of wine, snuggle in bed
together, or flirt playfully between household tasks, their easy, comfortable
chemistry jumps off the screen. They
don’t get as many of the big fireworks moments that a lot of their kids do in
their various romances, but that’s fine.
They exude the warmth of a couple that’s been together for more than ten
years, and though well-aged love isn’t expressed as flashily or ardently as a
younger relationship, it’s all the deeper for its longevity.
I hate
when Lena and Stef fight by not talking to each other, which sometimes
happens. Although, given their
personalities, it’s understandable, they’re so great when they do talk through things, and in agreement
or opposition, I vastly prefer them being open about it. If nothing else, whenever they discuss an
issue like rational adults who love each other but are mad, I’m reminded of how
rarely you see that on TV (especially on a teen show.) Instead, it seems characters are much more
likely to just yell in one another’s general direction without listening to
what the other has to say, and that gets tiring. Refreshingly, Stef and Lena are often allowed
to have actual conversations when one or both is upset, which I love. And the show has offered up some really interesting
things for them to talk about. Lena’s
feelings about being the only member of the family with no biological
connection to anyone else, Stef’s struggles with internalized homophobia, their
differing approaches to the kids (especially when Brandon’s dad is added into
the mix,) difficulties in finding time for intimacy – the list goes on and on.
Plus, I
like that their queerness is folded organically into their relationship. It’s not a Big Thing!, and it doesn’t have to
come up constantly, but there are nicely-incorporated little references that
are unique to a same-sex couple. They’re
well-aware that some doubt the legitimacy of their right to raise their own
children, a repairman in their house asks if they’re sisters (I guess he gets
points for not assuming that women of different races couldn’t be related, but still,) and in the midst of an argument,
Lena calls Stef out on her heteronormative thinking. She actually says the words “heteronormative
thinking,” which surprised/pleased me as much as hearing the term
“neurotypicals” on an episode of Community. In this way, their orientation feels real,
written by people who really know what that means and trust the audience to
keep up. Gotta love that!
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