Top Five Examples of Non-Toxic Masculinity

This post is bittersweet for me, because I got the idea for this Top Five back when I first saw On the Basis of Sex and was taken by how wonderful its portrayal of Marty Ginsburg was, a loving husband and father who supportively stands alongside Ruth, never in front of her. He was the first entry I wrote for these Top Five Examples of Non-Toxic Masculinity, but in light of recent news, I didn’t feel comfortable bringing a character played by Armie Hammer into a post on this subject. (I will say, though, that Hammer can’t take away the general awesomeness of Marty, who, even better, was based on a real person.) So, minus Marty Ginsburg, here are my Top Five.

 

T’Challa (Black Panther)

I actually toyed with a few different MCU heroes here (Cap and, a little surprisingly, Thor,) but T’Challa absolutely fits the bill. He’s a king who’s surrounded by powerful, intelligent, resourceful women, and he regularly leans on their advice and their skills. There’s never a sense of T’Challa throwing his weight around to assert himself over them. He’s sure of who he is, and that gives him the space he needs to respect them for who they are, 100%. I love this, that Wakanda was never infected with western patriarchy because it was never colonized by western imperialists.

Newt Scamander (Fantastic Beasts)

Despite everything that’s gone down with J.K. Rowling, I can’t deny my love for Newt, especially in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. I like that our hero is gentle and soft-spoken but shows his bravery in defense of others, and I adore how tenderly he cares for the magical creatures in his suitcase sanctuary. He has no sense of ego or need to impress anybody, but he’s still so assured in his skills and knowledge.

 

Capt. Crewe (A Little Princess)

My beloved movie version (still haven’t read the book, and I hear Capt. Crewe isn’t nearly as lovely in it.) Come on now, you know the guy who raised Sara Crewe has to be a feminist! What a wonderfully caring father, teaching his daughter to value herself and be kind to/understanding of others. He cherishes her dreams, and he doesn’t shy away from showing his emotions. Such an utterly-gorgeous portrayal of a father.

 

The Fab Five (Queer Eye)

Is it cheating to put these four guys and one nonbinary person together as one entry? Maybe, but it would’ve been impossible to pick just one, and it would’ve been boring if my entire Top Five was just Bobby, Karamo, Tan, Antoni, and Jonathan. The Fab Five are utterly splendid – emotionally open, in touch with their masculine and feminine sides, and recognizing the importance of taking care of oneself. The work they do in particular in helping guys feel more accepting of their own vulnerability is really wonderful.

 

Ben Wyatt (Parks and Recreation)

Evidently, part of the reason it took me so long to complete this write-up is that I was waiting to watch this show and I didn’t even know it, because Ben is the epitome of this list. He has no qualms about being in love with the ambitious, highly-opinionated Leslie, and he’s happy to support and be supported by her in turn. In addition, in an office where a lot of the guys are out to prove themselves, whether it’s through traditionally “manly” endeavors like Ron or flaunting their swagger like Tom, Ben is quietly comfortable being a nerdy guy who’s open about his feelings. That’s the real unifying factor I’ve seen throughout this list – guys and a nonbinary person who don’t feel the need to perform their masculinity in any way because they know who they are and are good with that.