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Sunday, May 6
· Recap of the Week – Pro-Palestinian student protests
o Excellent summation of a baffling news clip – “Okay, first, did that reporter just ask, ‘Are you gonna go with the police if they arrest you?’ Kudos to that student for giving the calmest possible answer to what might be the dumbest question ever asked on TV. ‘If the guys with guns put you in handcuffs and drag you to the jail, will you go with them?’ ‘Uh, yeah, I guess so!’”
o John pushed back against university administrations insisting that the violent police response is because the protests are antisemitic – He highlighted a picture of one protester, saying, “That woman is not only Jewish, she’s a professor of Jewish Studies. Yet, she’s being brutalized by police supposedly there to keep Jewish people safe!”
o I loved John’s response to NYC mayor Eric Adams – “When New Jersey sends us mayors, they’re clearly not sending their best.”
o One police officer accidentally fired inside an occupied building while trying to use his gun for illumination(?) – Very rightly, John exclaimed, “Why are you using your gun for that?!? There’s a flashlight on your fucking phone!”
o Valid – “Student protests against injustice generally age pretty well, and the efforts to criticize or crack down on them tend not to.”
o But while the U.S. is so focused on these protests, it’s actually taking some media attention away from Gaza, where 80% of its school/universities have been damaged or destroyed in the bombings.
· And Now This – Brian Kilmeade Unpacks His Childhood Traumas
o Several clips from this montage involved Kilmeade recollecting “when Frosty the Snowman was put in the hotbox.”
o This one cracked me up – “I didn’t even know as a kid that you could make your own waffles. I thought they always were frozen.”
o I also liked, “I was forced to listen to bagpipes as a child.”
· Main Story – Public libraries
o One funny running gag throughout the story dealt with the Mandela effect of the spelling of The Berenstain Bears – John brought up the series multiple times, spelling the name differently every time while also changing the family itself. We got covers of Berenstain Beavers, Badgers, and Bees, all while John calmly reminded us that they’ve always been this way.
o While it’s been established that “speech cannot be suppressed solely to protect the young from ideas or images that legislative body thinks unsuitable for them,” that certainly hasn’t stopped various states and cities from going after libraries with extreme prejudice.
o When one library was forced to remove any book with incredibly broadly-defined “sexual content” from the children’s section, it meant books like Everybody Poops had to be moved to the adult section.
o This was a powerful demonstration of how this issue has snowballed in recent years – Prior to 2021, libraries typically saw individual books being challenged one at a time. Now, over half of challenges involve 100 or more books at once.
o John noted how the show’s own picture book, A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo, has been targeted, with content reviews such as, “The illustration on this page depicts two male rabbits holding paws as a human would hold another person’s hand. The rabbits are discussing how much they love each other and want to marry one another” – He drawled, “You know, filth.”
o He remarked, “You do get the sense that people who want to censor these books can have no real idea of what’s inside them, or if indeed they’re even at the libraries they’re protesting at all” – Indeed, we saw one librarian whose job was threatened over hundreds of books that her library didn’t even have to begin with.
o Excellent analogy – “It’s true! Activists demanded books they haven’t read be removed from a library that didn’t have them, which, as far as protests go, is about as meaningful as marching to the Hollywood sign to demand that Frankie Muniz return his Oscar for Schindler’s List. He’s not there, he wasn’t in that, and the very fact that you’re protesting this tells me you’re probably not familiar with the material.”
o John responded to one ordinance demanding library books be judged “under God’s standards” by pointing to “objectionable” material in the Bible, from the nudity in the Garden of Eden to all the breeding pairs of animals on the Ark – “Oh, I’m sorry, am I misunderstanding the Bible by taking things out of context? Forgive me, I haven’t read it.” He additionally quoted a book challenge he’d brought up earlier, saying, “I looked at the summary, it told me all I needed to know.”
o Over the last year, the most challenged book has been Maia Kobabe’s graphic memoir Gender Queer – E affirmed that eir book isn’t for young kids, then emphasized, “Not every book in the library is for every reader, but they still need to be available.”
o Meanwhile, a book banner insisted that putting Gender Queer in the adult section wasn’t good enough, because a kid might still find it and be drawn in by the pretty artwork – John argued, “But it’s in the adult section! If a child finds it, it’s because they’re somewhere they’re not supposed to be. So if anything, the kid should get into trouble, not the book.”
o Excellent point – “Protecting libraries is a fight, but it’s also winnable. It just means standing up to all these bullshit attacks whenever they occur.”
Monday, May 6
· Headlines – Trump violates gag order for tenth time, Trump’s VP hopefuls, backlash over Kristi Noem’s memoir
o I was surprised to see Jordan at the desk instead of Jon, but he always does a great job, so I didn’t complain.
o Jordan wasn’t impressed with the judge’s ruling on Trump’s latest gag order violation – “Oh, you’ve done it now, Donald! If you violate that gag order for an eleventh time, the judge is gonna ‘really consider’ jail time. I mean, he’s strongly contemplating the possibility of consequences for your actions! Just one more chance!”
o OMG, Trump’s description of Rep. Byron Donalds at a Mar-a-Lago fundraiser was just beyond words – “‘Byron Donalds: I like diversité.’ What a clever way to say that he’s Black…and maybe French? I don’t know.”
o We knew what was coming as soon as Jordan brought up South Dakota governor Kristi Noem – “If you ask me, the [VP] race is hers to lose. There’s really nothing she could do to ruin her chances.”
o Loved this line – “As for bad behavior, even Cruella de Vil is like, ‘Jesus! At least I was making a coat!’”
o Jordan was horrified to learn that, in the same chapter that Noem talks about shooting her dog, she also talks about shooting her goat – “What did the goat do??? It sounds like she saw it and was like, ‘Well, I can’t leave any witnesses.’”
o Noem also suggested that Biden’s dog should be killed like she killed her own, saying, “Commander, say hello to Cricket” – “Dear God, this woman has a thirst for dog blood! It’s like she thought All Dogs Go to Heaven was a personal challenge.”
· Kendrick Lamar and Drake rap beef
o Jordan’s “light pop-culture piece” didn’t quite turn out, since Kendrick Lamar and Drake’s rap beef has escalated into allegations of domestic abuse and pedophilia – “Wow, that got dark! It went from zero to Epstein in about one weekend.”
o Josh came on to discuss the beef, but he did not want to choose sides, for fear of being dragged into it – “All these dudes do is research and destroy. Apparently ‘diss’ is short for ‘dissertation.’”
o However, he thought that both international and stateside political conflicts would be better solved with rap beefs than wars – “Wouldn’t the National Anthem be hotter if it was a diss track against England? Like, ‘No taxation without representation,’ that’s already half a bar right now!”
· Interview – Social psychologist/author Jonathan Haidt
o Haidt’s book, The Anxious Generation, looks at “the great rewiring” of kids growing up with phones and social media.
o He made valid points, and the harms of social media for kids and teens is well-documented, but he also seemed to ignore major factors that didn’t relate to his argument – He stated, “Every school needs to go phone-free by September,” but that seems like a hard sell in an age of school shootings.
o He said, “The phones, they don’t just make the kids anxious and lonely. They make them less intelligent. Test scores have been dropping around the world since 2012.”
o Haidt advocated protecting kids more online while giving them freer rein to play outdoors and push themselves – “Let’s give them a real childhood, the kind that we older people, we look back on.”
Tuesday, May 7
· Headlines – The Met Gala, Putin’s inauguration, Stormy Daniels testifies in Trump trial
o Jordan thought Vladimir Putin himself showed a stark contrast to the opulence of his inauguration – “Come on, Vlad, you can’t show up to all this in a suit! They’ve got the wizards and the golden walls, you’re walking in like you’re late from the office, man!”
o CNN anchors were very timid about the prospect on reporting the “details” of Stormy Daniels’ testimony – “They’re very prudish for people whose names sound like porn names. ‘Jake Tapper and Dana Bash in State of the Union!’”
o Good line – “These revelations are so uncomfortably personal that even Drake is like, ‘Ooh, sucks to be that guy!’”
o At Daniels’ statement that Trump said she reminded him of Ivanka, Jordan exclaimed, “#GirlDad!”
o Troy described the discomfort in the courtroom – “I was so perturbed, I made myself feel better by remembering the time I watched Saltburn with my parents.”
o Troy thought a good way to prevent crime would be allowing someone’s dubious “man moves” to be publicized in every trial – “Imagine if every time you committed a crime, the prosecutor could put your ex on the stand and describe your most mediocre hookup in grave detail. And then a stenographer in a cardigan wrote it all down, and then Jake Tapper broadcast it on national television!”
· Correspondent Piece (Desi) – “Idle warriors”
o The “idle warriors” are a group of people in New York City who film evidence of idling trucks and report them – While Desi was interested in it for the cash reward, the idle warriors were focused on reducing air pollution.
o They clarified that, although they report individual trucks, it’s the companies who are held accountable for violating the anti-idling law.
o When she heard that it takes up to two years to receive her payment, Desi was out.
· Interview – Novelist Lexi Freiman
o Freiman’s new book, The Book of Ayn, is about someone who goes down an Ayn Rand rabbit hole after getting canceled.
o When asked why Ayn Rand, Freiman enthusiastically said, “She was basically the worst person I could write a book about, which really appealed to me. She’s so contentious within the culture.”
o She also shared some surprising details about Rand’s life, like the fact that she was essentially in a polycule and got derailed after one of her partners cheated on her – Jordan remarked, “If there was one thing that was gonna take Ayn Rand down, who thought it was polyamory?”
o Jordan observed, “More often to me, it seems that satire is a broadsword, it’s rarely a scalpel. It seems like you find complexity in it” – Freiman explained that she tries to be as intentional and specific as possible in her writing, “so that the reader feels like I respect their intelligence, and I’m thinking of the thing they might argue back with me about.”
Wednesday, May 8
· Headlines – Backlash to Kristi Noem’s memoir, RFK Jr.’s brain parasite
o I loved the description of Kristi Noem as “South Dakota governor and big fan of the last two minutes of Old Yeller.”
o Honestly, it’s a little wild to see – “I have to say, the last few years I have been wondering, how far is too far for the right-wing MAGA crowd? And now we know: it’s shooting your dog in a gravel pit. That is not acceptable! …Until Trump does it, and then every Republican has to shoot their dog just to stay in the party.”
o I liked Jordan’s impression of a Newsmax host who suggested Noem’s editor was a “liberal plant,” randomly throwing out conspiracies as possible cover – “Maybe your dog was DEI, is that something? I don’t know, just pick one!”
o RFK Jr.’s campaign has emphasized that the dead worm found in his brain wouldn’t affect his cognitive abilities as president, despite him previously acknowledging cognitive delays as part of a divorce proceeding – “So I guess his argument now is, ‘No, no, the worm didn’t eat the president part of my brain, just the part that has to give my ex-wife money.’”
o This made me laugh out loud – “Would it be nice to have a candidate whose head is full of all brain? Sure. And I’d love a puppy too, but Kristi Noem shot it. Grow up!”
· Correspondent Piece (Lewis) – The Cybertruck
o Lewis looked back on the days when Teslas were coveted cars – “Not only was it a status symbol, but it was electric! It was like a compost bin that you could drink and drive in.”
o As Tesla’s stock has been plummeting, Elon Musk argued that they should be viewed more as an “AI or robotics company” than a car company – “Sorry, Elon, my mistake. All this time, I thought your company that sold cars was a car company! God, one of us must be a real f**king idiot!”
o Naturally, Lewis delighted in videos of the Cybertruck being trash, from breaking down after a car wash to a dead truck being towed to safety by Ford – “Oh, fancy Cybertruck had to get rescued by the big tough Ford! You’re the laughingstock of all the other trucks! That Ford pickup’s probably banging your wife right now, you cybercuck!”
· Interview – Actor/producer Matt Damon
o Damon was promoting Kiss the Future, the documentary he produced – The film documents U2’s efforts to bring attention to the siege of Sarajevo.
o Jordan asked what drew Damon to the project – He said, “Just the very human impulse that we have to tell stories to each other, and it’s a way to kind of tell somebody another perspective, right? And if, you know, for filmmaking, if you can put people in other people’s shoes, that builds empathy and compassion.”
o While Damon drew parallels to current events and atrocities in the world, he said, “It ultimately really is an uplifting movie, because it’s beautiful to watch these people and what they did, and how they overcame their situation.”
Thursday, May 9
· Headlines – News coverage of Trump hush money trial, House bill on gas stoves, the Boy Scouts announce name change, U.S. holds weapons shipment to Israel
o Jon acknowledged the change in the schedule this week by shouting, “Jon Stewart on Thursday??? It’s like breakfast for dinner over here!”
o Good description of the granular coverage of Trump’s criminal trial – “The ubiquitous coverage is numbing, fading into televised wallpaper.”
o Even though the non-Trump part of the story dealt with several different news pieces, they all involved “the real crises” that far-right media insists are more important than the trial.
o When one GOP House member solemnly intoned, “They started with gas stoves…”, Jon responded right on cue with, “…And I did not speak up, for I was not a gas stove.”
o Good line – “Oh my god, ‘a moral failing we can’t even begin to calculate!’ Perhaps it’s a combo failing, an appliance that changed its name to be more inclusive? Is Mr. Coffee now…They/Them Coffee? Is that the dangerous we now face?”
o GOP pundits and politicians characterized the held-up weapons shipment to Israel as Biden “embracing Hamas” – The grossest remark came from Lindsey Graham, who said, “The only reason they’re not dancing is that they don’t believe in dancing.”
o Meanwhile, Jon just side eyed Biden for not doing this sooner, given his statement that he told Netanyahu this would happen if the IDF “[goes] into population centers” – “‘If they go into the population centers’? The whole place is a population center. They’ve been in the population center for six months. Gaza’s all population center!”
o I loved Jon’s reaction to Trump declaring, “If any Jewish person voted for Biden, they should be ashamed of themselves” – I especially liked his contrite, “I will reflect on your moral standing next Yom Kippur.”
o A few of the correspondents popped out from under the desk to “shame” Jon Game of Thrones-style – When I saw that Troy was one of them, I hoped that they’d mention that he was Jewish too, and they did, with him adding, “Shanda!” to the chants.
· Interview – Polling expert/author John Della Volpe
o Della Volpe was there to talk about his book Fight, which analyzes polls he took of Gen Z-ers to examine their political consciousness.
o Good line – “This generation has decided, as David Hogg the Parkland activist has talked about, to use all the tools in their civic toolbox to fix problems, to stand up for the vulnerable.”
o Jon asked if it’s wrong to frame Gen Z-ers as uniquely going through the the most damaging hardships of any young generation, arguing that active shooter drills couldn’t be worse that the nuclear war drills he did in school – Thankfully, Della Volpe responded with my exact thoughts, saying, “Seeing children slaughtered in schools—we didn’t see nuclear war—is not mythology.”
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