"Better a fallen rocket than never a burst of light."
~ Tom Stoppard, The Invention of Love

Saturday, September 26, 2020

New Satire Roundup: September 21st-September 24th

Monday, September 21

·        Main Story – The battle over the Supreme Court vacancy

o   Before jumping into things, I laughed at Trevor’s comments about William Barr declaring New York City an “anarchist jurisdiction” – “This place is in chaos! That’s why I’m wearing sandals with socks! No rules, baby!”

o   Chilling quote from the president that sums up the crux of the GOP about-face on the issue of confirming a Supreme Court justice in an election year – “When you have the Senate, you have the votes, you can do whatever you want” (Trevor likened it to a political version of Trump’s, “When you’re a star, they let you do it.”)

o   Trevor was horrified at the prospect of Trump nominating his third Supreme Court justice for a lifetime appointment – “This is the same guy who’s had to fire nearly everyone he’s hired for how bad he is at hiring people.”

o   Trevor “felt for” Lindsey Graham’s dilemma of completely reversing his stance on Supreme Curt vacancies during an election year – “Sometimes, I tell myself I’m not going to eat any more Oreos. No more Oreos! And then… I totally overturn Roe v. Wade. I have, like, no willpower, guys!”

·        Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s life and legacy

o   I liked, “She was a brilliant student at the top of her class but couldn’t get a single job? It’s like she’s a reverse Jared Kushner!”

o   Trevor was particularly astounded that one of the many discriminatory laws Ginsburg helped strike down prohibited women from getting credit cards in their own name – “To think that this country – this country! – let misogyny get in the way of something as American as getting people into debt!”

o   Throughout the piece, Trevor riffed on Ginsburg’s “Notorious RBG” nickname to draw comparisons between her and Biggie – my favorite came at the the end, when Trevor noted that she certainly lived by the code expressed in Biggie’s lyrics, “Stay far from timid, / Only make moves when your heart’s in it, / And live the phrase ‘sky’s the limit.’” RIP, Justice Ginsburg.

·        InterviewDr. Anthony Fauci

o   I liked that Trevor began by asking Dr. Fauci about his recent vocal surgery, something Trevor has experienced as well.

o   Trevor expressed the fear and frustration that many Americans are feeling right now, as “it feels like everyone is making this up as they go along,” and Dr. Fauci acknowledged inconsistent/contradictory messaging while still tiptoeing past laying blame anywhere (I feel for any scientist who tries to balance staying in Trump’s good graces in order to hold on to opportunities to tell the American people the truth.)

o   This was a good quote – “Public health measures should be more of a gateway and a pathway to opening the country as opposed to an obstacle to opening the country.”

o   In looking at the situation on the ground, it was so despressing when Dr. Fauci said that parts of the country had been/were doing quite well – in the so-called “greatest country in the world,” your ability to withstand a pandemic shouldn’t hinge on which state you live in.

o   I appreciated the “when to wear a mask” questions Trevor ran through with Dr. Fauci, going through a variety of scenarios involving different types of interactions.

Tuesday, September 22

·        Headlines – The Supreme Court battle, pandemic updates, Florida’s new bill punishing protesters, Australian “flight to nowhere”

o   I loved this – “When Democrats say, ‘Everything is on the table!’, watch out, Republicans! You’re about to get a sternly-worded email. ‘To whom it may concern, bitches!’”

o   The news that the U.S. hit 200,000 COVID deaths made Trevor question whether “failing to do even the bare minimum is an effective strategy to combat the disease.”

o   Oh man, even with Trump-branded masks, a Republican politician couldn’t get Trump supporters to get behind masks – we are so screwed.

o   We also learned that the Pentagon spent $1 billion in PPE money on jets – “Either the Pentagon just doesn’t give a shit or they heard coronavirus was airborne and took it way too literally.”

o   Like many, Trevor was especially concerned about the part in that Florida bill that allows drivers to run over protesters with impunity, as long as the drivers are “fleeing from a mob” – “This is basically Stand Your Ground, but for cars.”

·        Correspondent Piece (Desi) – Chatting with “Uncle” Lou Dobbs

o   Meh. My favorite part was the intro, in which Trevor explained that Dobbs was Desi’s “third uncle on her roommate’s side by marriage.”

·        Interview – Slate editor Dahlia Lithwick

o   Known for her coverage of the Supreme Court, Lithwick was there to talk about Justice Ginsburg and address Trevor’s question, “Is America’s Supreme Court system broken?”

o   Both agreed that hyperpartisanship was a major problem – Lithwick pointed to Ginsburg being confirmed 96-3 in the Senate, while more recent justices have been confirmed closer to 50-50.

·        Interview – Black Lives Matter founder Patrisse Cullors

o   Cullors and Trevor discussed the current defund/divest movement, with Cullors focusing less on the diminished role of the police and more on the opportunities of what could grow out of it – “Let’s actually invest into dignity, into care, and into life for human beings.”

o   She emphasized that defunding the police is a complicated process, not a solitary act – I liked Trevor’s analogy that “defund the police” is like JFK saying, “We’re going to put a man on the moon,” with the stated end goal tacitly including the many steps it would take to get there.

Wednesday, September 23

·        Headlines – “Zombie” Tropical Storm Paulette, New York bans pooping on the MTA, Uncle Ben’s retires brand/logo, Wells Fargo CEO says there’s a “limited pool” of Black talent to hire from

o   Trevor decided that, between the wildfires and storms, Mother Nature is trying to get us to stay inside to prevent the spread of COVID-19 – “Pretty soon, when you open your front door, there’s just gonna be a tree standing there to kick you back inside.”

o   I agree that it doesn’t make much sense to impose fines as punishment for the MTA’s new “no pooping” rule – “Now, I don’t wanna make broad assumptions here, but I’m willing to bet that if you’re taking a shit on the subway, you don’t have $100.”

o   Great remarks in the Wells Fargo story – I really liked, “If you’re not hiring Black people it’s because you don’t give a shit. Don’t act like it’s ‘cause you can’t find them; how hard are you actually trying?”

o   In discussing how common hiring practices (namely, going off of recommendations from current employees for new hires) tend to perpetuate homogeneity, Trevor used The Office as an example – “These people don’t have any Black friends. The only Black friend they have is Stanley, and he already works there!”

·        Main Story – Threats to undermine the U.S. election results

o   We started with warnings that foreign agents could spread misinformation about the election results while mail-in ballots are still being tallied, sowing doubt in the count’s legitimacy.

o   I laughed at, “Really, FBI? That’s your advice? ‘Be patient and don’t share unverified information on social media’? Do you know us?! We’re not gonna do any of that shit!!”

o   But of course, it was only a matter of time before we got to how the election results are already being preemptively undermined here at home – How chilling was Trump’s, “The only way we’re gonna lose this election is if the election is rigged, remember that”?

o   Truer words – “The thing I always appreciate about Donald Trump is that he doesn’t make us work to figure out his evil plan,” instead preferring to come right out and tell us.

·        Montage – Trump’s Joe Biden criticisms

o   This was really good, juxtaposing Trump’s various criticisms of Biden with footage of him doing the same thing.

o   My favorite was Trump claiming that Biden didn’t know the difference between Iraq and Iran, followed by a clip of him boasting about ordering a strike on Iraq, only to be told by the person interviewing him that he meant Syria.

·        Correspondent Piece (Dulcé) – The price of police brutality

o   Another really good piece. This looked specifically at money cities spend settling civil suits over police brutality (which, as the show emphasized in an earlier episode, means it’s money coming from the taxpayers.)

o   The expert Dulcé spoke to explained that this money doesn’t come out of established police budgets because cities know it would regularly exceed any amount set aside for lawsuits – in 2018, the amount the city of Chicago spent on police brutality settlements ($113 million) was 5 times the line item amount for it in the city budget.

o   What’s more, because cities often pay these settlements using bonds that they have to pay back with interest, the amount of taxpayer money being used increases even more – again using Chicago as an example, the $700 million they paid out via bonds over a 7-year period added up to $1.7 billion with interest (during which time, Dulcé noted, the city closed half of its mental health clinics and 50 elementary schools.)

o   Dulcé hoped the piece would convince people who care more about their wallets than Black people’s lives, but her expert countered, “I think you’d be surprised at what some people in this city are willing to pay for the police to keep harassing Black people.”

·        Interview – Journalist Bob Woodward

o   Naturally, the topic was Woodward’s new book on Trump and the interviews he had with the president for it – I liked Woodward’s comments about carrying a tape recorder with him at all times once he realized Trump started randomly calling him at night.

o   Trevor asked why Woodward didn’t come forward sooner with Trump’s acknowledgement that he was playing down the severity of the coronavirus, but Woodward’s answer didn’t feel like enough to me.

o   This was a good question – “Is there a difference in how President Trump, as a president, works, or have you seen dysfunction like this in other White Houses and they just did a better job of insulating the story from coming out?” (I don’t think anyone would be surprised at Woodward’s answer to this.”

Thursday, September 24

·        Headlines – Benjamin Netanyahu brings his (literal) dirty laundry to the White House, Gradient is the latest in offensive race-changing apps, New Year’s Eve ball drop to go virtual, Trump refuses to commit to a peaceful transfer of power

o   The Netanyahu stuff was funny – “It also explains why he’s suddenly signing all these peace deals. ‘Oh shit, I’m out of clean underwear. Yo, Bahrain, meet me at the White House!”

o   Truth – “I learned my lesson from 2020. I’m not gonna celebrate a year before seeing if it’s good first!”

o   Once again, quoting the president for the horror factor – “Get rid of the ballots and you’ll have a very peaceful- there won’t be a transfer, frankly, there’ll be a continuation.”

o   Since America’s role is more typically to enforce democracy when leaders of other countries refuse to leave, Trevor thought it was time for those countries to return the favor – “Well, well, well. Refusing to give up power, rampant disease, and high unemployment. Who’s the shithole now?”

o   Trevor hoped we can avert civil war, pointing out that quarantine has left him in no shape to fight – “It’s like I’m a caterpillar that went into a cocoon and came out an even shittier caterpillar.”

·        Main Story – Breonna Taylor grand jury decision

o   The theme of the story was “who’s winning in this whole thing?”, and Trevor’s answer was, “No one” – not Taylor’s family, not Black people, not Black Lives Matter, not the protesters, and not even the police, not really.

o   Heavy line – “Black people definitely aren’t winning, because they’ve basically been told that a cop can just barge into your house and shoot you. And not only that, they can say they were defending themselves in your house.”

o   I really liked, “Why doesn’t America treat the police as responsible for their own actions? They’re police; they’re not bears!”

o   What it boiled down to – “America is a police state, and its most protected class are police officers.”

o   I liked Trevor’s emphasis that, “by and large, protesters do not want to be protesting” – “Nobody looks at a march where people are getting beaten by the cops and thinks, “Oh, this’ll be a great opportunity to get my steps in!’”

o   And he brought it home toward the end with this powerful question – “The Kentucky AG said to the people angry about this decision that ‘mob justice isn’t justice.’ Yeah, but then what happens when justice isn’t justice?”

·        Interview – Late-night hosts Desus Nice & The Kid Mero

o   Desus and Mero copped to being more important to people than ever – “We are now the court jesters to the end of America.”

o   They were there to promote a book they wrote together on life lessons from growing up in the Bronx, and they had an interesting discussion with Trevor on how poverty prepared all three of them for the present moment.

o   I liked Trevor’s observation that they used typographical distinctions in the book to distinguish between their individual voices, maintaining the feel of a conversation between them, like they do with their various other properties.

·        Interview – Actor Jeff Daniels

o   Daniels was there to promote his new miniseries The Comey Rule. On the one hand, it feels way too soon to be dramatizing that story, but on the other hand, spring of 2017 feels like it was a thousand years ago (man, remember when Trump fired Comey and everyone was like, “Surely, this is the end – they’ll put a stop to this!” We had no idea how much further down the bottom was.)

o   More so than the Trump stuff, Trevor and Daniels talked about the Clinton emails and Comey’s announcement just before the election – as Daniels put it, “He was between a rock and a hard place, and he couldn’t punt. He had to decide.”

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