Crimes against Tauriel (The Hobbit)

In Tolkien, Tauriel doesn’t exist.  It’s a fair point.  However, I’m not going to complain that the extremely male-heavy Hobbit films invented a new female character and added a couple excuses to involve Galadriel.  That said, given that there are essentially two women in a trilogy with more than twenty-five featured characters, the films could have done far better by this one.  (Spoilers for The Battle of the Five Armies.)

And it’s sad, because, as constructed, Tauriel is pretty cool.  She’s a badass elf warrior with heaps of combat prowess, of course, but even better, she reaches out in a time when her people are largely isolationist.  While Thranduil wants to close the gates on the darkness spreading in the distance, Tauriel feels a duty to find out what is happening and try to prevent/fight against it if possible.  She doesn’t look down on non-elves on principle, when she believes her king is taking the wrong path, she’s not afraid to disregard his commands and go her own way.

Given all these terrific qualities going for her, it’s a shame that the films let her down so badly.  My first grievance may seem a bit too… shall we say optimistic?  It’s a movie, after all, and female characters have a depressingly long history of being relegated to love interests.  But again, when you only have two women in your incredibly-packed trilogy, it feels pretty trite to immediately shove one of them into a love triangle.  The overall writing of the subplot isn’t horrible or anything – Tauriel’s preference drives the story, and with an elf/dwarf pairing on one side and significant class differences on the other, either relationship would lead to potentially-interesting societal challenges.  Honestly, a big part of my issue with the basic fact of the triangle, beyond the whole “only two women!” thing, is that it’s inflicted on poor Evangeline Lilly again.  It was very illuminating to realize that my enjoyment of Kate on Lost is inversely proportional to her proximity to Jack and/or Sawyer (seriously, she can be so awesome as soon as she gets away from them,) and I hate to see her served up the same well-trod plot.

But the mere existence of the love triangle is a footnote compared to how it affects Tauriel in the final movie.  Okay, so we have a movie full of badass elf, dwarf, and human warriors in what’s basically one punishingly-long battle scene.  As an aforementioned badass elf warrior, there should be lots of Tauriel running around being a boss, right?  Let’s take a look at her most pivotal scene.  She’s been preoccupied for much of the battle about Kili, the sexy dwarf archer with whom she’s been edging toward a relationship.  She finally spots him in the fray, only to be so distracted that she’s set upon by an orc and winds up in mortal peril.  Kili rushes in to save the day; he succeeds in protecting her, but he himself is killed by the orc.  Both incensed and heartbroken, Tauriel attacks the orc to avenge Kili, but in doing so, she winds up in mortal peril again, and this time, it’s Legolas, the elf who loves her, rushing in to save the day.

Badass elf warrior, the only woman on that battlefield who isn’t a terrified peasant, and she gets damseled twice in the same sequence and needs to be rescued by both the men who are in love with her (with the one she’s in love with sacrificing himself to save her.)  Who on earth thought this was a good idea?  Why, oh why, am I even seeing this happening?  It’s so staggeringly awful that, in the middle of the theater, I had to take a moment and ask myself if this gross scenario was actually unfolding.  It still just makes me shake my head – I don’t even know how to approach this.  Just… who thought this was a good idea?!

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013, PG-13)

I’ll say this:  I enjoy The Desolation of Smaug quite a bit more than An Unexpected Journey.  Yes, it’s still way longer than it needs to be, it tries to wring too much epicness into a film that doesn’t call for it, and there’s at least an hour’s worth of completely invented subplot material that distracts from the actual story of the book.  However, it doesn’t drag nearly as much – it feels like far more physically happens, the action sequences are mostly cool enough to justify their length, and overall, it seems the film makes more of an effort to tell what resembles a cohesive story.

The movie benefits from the fact that the middle chunk of the book has a lot more entertaining plot stuff than the first.  For starters, we get the Mirkwood spiders, where Bilbo finds his courage (believably so – I think the butt-kicking Bilbo scene at the end of An Unexpected Journey feels really out of character.  He’s too bold, too ruthless, and too successful against a fully grown orc.  Here, he gets the job done, but he plainly has no idea what he’s doing, he’s running on fear, luck, and adrenaline, and plus, it’s clear that he’s being affected by both the ring and the forest.) 

We also get the wood elves.  I’ll admit that, in this sequence, the film-only bits work better than the book bits for me.  The barrel scene goes on far too long and far too crazily, but I really enjoy all the elf drama going on while the dwarves are indisposed.  Tauriel is a nice addition to the story, and even though I’m sure the last thing poor Evangeline Lilly wanted after Lost was another love triangle (sigh… seriously?), she’s a fine character in her own right, an excellent fighter with a strong sense of justice.  I also want to mention Lee Pace as Thranduil.  He’s awesome – cold and imperious with probing, ageless eyes that see everything.  His scenes were some of my favorites, and it fun to see him get to do something after essentially being window-dressing in the first movie.

And, as the title suggests, we get the big sequence with Bilbo and Smaug, which is even better than Bilbo and Gollum in An Unexpected Journey.  I love how smart and quick on his feet Bilbo is, even though he’s obviously terrified.  Our little hobbit has such a clever tongue, and he really knows how to keep the monsters talking just long enough for him to find an escape.  Not to mention, Smaug himself is fantastic.  The lackluster creature effects elsewhere don’t extend to the dragon – he looks great and is well-integrated into the scene.  Benedict Cumberbatch is suitably menacing in the role, and both he and Martin Freeman are so wonderful, you’d never guess their parts were filmed separately (well, aside from the fact that Freeman is a speck compared to Cumberbatch’s colossal beast.)

Most of Gandalf’s screentime, unfortunately, happens away from the party in supplementary scenes, so that’s a bummer.  Plus, as much as I like to watch elves fighting, their extended presence is really shoehorned in.  Lastly, considering where the film ends and the title of the final installment, I have a sinking feeling that the last movie will largely be one never-ending battle (possibly with countless faux-denouements like The Return of the King.)

Warnings

Fantasy violence with lots of battle scenes, and some general scariness.