"Better a fallen rocket than never a burst of light."
~ Tom Stoppard, The Invention of Love

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Poem: My Closet Wears Many Hats (2013)



Getting as far away as I have from the days when I wrote this poem is one of the best things I've ever done.  The road is long and it's rarely easy, but for me, it's been so worth it.  Here's to the journey, wherever you may be on it.

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My Closet Wears Many Hats



 
Sometimes you’re my magic trick –
Now they see me, now they don’t.
I shut myself in
And spin myself around.
Cuffing my hands behind my back,
I hold my breath and tongue
As your chamber fills with water,
And then I disappear.
But you’re a secret vanishing act,
Because no one knows I’ve gone.

Sometimes you’re my stronghold.
Wrapping your walls around me,
I find refuge within;
No slight or suspicion
Can pierce my defenses
When I walk surrounded by your ramparts.
You stand ever fast
When the battering ram bears down
And I rest safe in the knowledge
That only I can fell you.

You’re the fear of whispers at my back,
My averted eyes, my fading voice.
You’re the truths I brush away
And the lies I die to tell.

I hope you’ll one day be my chrysalis,
The empty husk left behind
To show that the me who emerges
Is a brighter me
Than the me who stepped inside.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Relationship Spotlight: Bill & Willie Canfield (Steamboat Bill Jr.)



This is my first Relationship Spotlight for a Buster Keaton movie, and I think it’s fitting that, rather than any of the romances, this father-son relationship is the first down the pipeline.  Despite the Romeo and Juliet-esque framework of the plot, Buster’s Willie has the most interesting dynamic by far with his gruff dad.  (Some Bill-Willie spoilers.)

The film kicks off with Willie’s first meeting with his father in years – he went to Boston for school at a very young age, and the two haven’t seen each other since.  (And even aside from that, I’m not entirely sure what the Canfield family situation is.  Willie appears to be in at least semi-regular contact with his mom but not his dad.  Don’t know if Bill and his wife are divorced(!) or if his work as a steamboat operator just keeps him away from home.)  The meeting, though, is pretty bungled.  Willie assures that Bill will easily recognize him by the white carnation in his buttonhole, but every man at the train station seems to have taken up the same floral fashion statement, and Bill is increasingly at a loss to find his son.  Meanwhile, Willie’s own flower, unbeknownst to him, has fallen off and he keeps holding up his unadorned buttonhole toward prospective fathers for inspection. 

This mishap is fairly indicative of Bill and Willie’s relationship as a whole:  despite the best of intentions on both sides, they just can’t connect.  When they do find one another, Bill is fairly horrified by Willie’s beret, striped jacket, wide trousers, and “baseball mustache” (as per Buster’s description, nine hairs on each side.)  He’d expected a strapping, rough ‘n’ tumble lad after his own heart, and delicate, bohemian Willie doesn’t fit the bill.  Their early interactions are marked by Bill trying to make Willie more presentable among Bill and his fellow river rats – the mustache and beret have to go, and one of Bill’s top priorities is getting Willie work clothes for the boat (the natty ship-captain get-up Willie ends up with isn’t exactly what he’d had in mind.)

At every turn, Willie seems to disappoint Bill.  The boy clearly has no idea what he’s doing on the boat, Bill’s attempts to teach him repeatedly end in disaster, and worst of all, his girlfriend is the well-to-do daughter of Bill’s professional rival.  Bill is inflexible on all counts, berating Willie for his mistakes and trying (unsuccessfully) to forbid him from seeing Kitty.  Willie’s slightly prissy city-boy affectations embarrass a man’s man like Bill, and Willie’s ukulele puts Bill at his wit’s end.  He first tries to keep it out of sight, shoving it unceremoniously in his back pocket to cover it with his coat, and later stomps on it when he catches someone laughing. 

Given all that, it may seem odd that I’m spotlighting this relationship.  The thing is, even though there’s so much going against them, both men are genuinely trying.  The hat shop scene, in which Willie keeps trying to sell his dad on a ridiculous checkered cap, is funny, but it’s also kind of sweet in that, despite Bill’s gruffness with him, Willie keeps expecting him to approve of Willie’s outrageous fashions.  Bill may blow up at Willie and drag him around, but the second anyone else laughs at or lays a hand on him, Bill is immediately at Willie’s defense.  What’s more, he coaches Willie to defend himself, never assuming that Willie’s small size or clumsiness will keep him from being able to hold his own.  He eventually comes to see the value in Willie’s cleverness and ingenuity, and when the chips are down, Willie is behind his dad all the way.  That’s why I like them; they’re not perfect and they get a lot wrong, but both of them are working at it and getting better all the time.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Top Five Ace(ish) Moments: The Doctor (Doctor Who)



While I like to think of the Doctor as mostly asexual and varying levels of mainly-heteroromantic, depending on the regeneration, the characterization of his orientation is a little too all-over-the-place for even a potential Asexual Sighting.  That said, I still love me some Totally Ace Moments with our favorite Time Lord.  Here are my favorites.  (Disclaimer – all asexuals are different, and there are those who wouldn’t relate to any of these moments, just like there are some sexuals who would.  No offense intended, just an appreciation for the Doctor’s apparent disinterest in and obliviousness to sex.)

Amy Tries to Jump the Doctor’s Bones (“Flesh and Stone” – Series 5, Episode 5)

I have issues with the scene itself (near-death-experience or not, why does Amy become a lust monster who can’t control her libido?), but the Doctor’s reactions are great.  I love when she’s building up to it and he has no idea what she’s talking about.  “You know what I mean?”  “Yeah.  No.”  “About who I want.”  “Oh right, yeah!  …No, still not getting it.”  Been there, Doctor.

Craig Wants to Set Up a Privacy Arrangement (“The Lodger” – Series 5, Episode 11)

After becoming Craig’s flatmate, the Doctor is puzzled by Craig’s assurance that he’ll make himself scarce if the Doctor needs the flat to himself.  He needs it spelled out that Craig’s talking about a girlfriend/boyfriend, at which point the Doctor agrees to give Craig a shout.  “Oh, I will.  I’ll shout if that happens.  Yes.  Something like, ‘I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!’”  Ha!

Vastra Wants to Know When Melody Was Conceived (“A Good Man Goes to War” – Series 6, Episode 7)

Despite Vastra’s delicacy in discussing Amy and Rory’s sex life, the Doctor is way awkward about it.  I like that he calls it “human-y, private stuff,” suggesting that, whatever he and River get up to, sex doesn’t interest him.  I also love his defensive assertion that “they don’t put up a balloon or anything!”  Definitely beats a tie on the door.

The Doctor Hides the TARDIS in Clara’s Bedroom (“Listen” – Series 8, Episode 4)

“You said you had a date,” the Doctor tells Clara, who’s surprised to find the TARDIS in her bedroom.  “I thought I’d better hide in the bedroom in case you brought him home.”  While, as shown above, Eleven can get kind of squirmy and uncomfortable about sex, it’s just straight-up off Twelve’s radar.  Of course!  The bedroom!  No reason she’d bring a date in there!  Love it.

The Doctor Doesn’t Understand Why Someone Would Want “X-Ray Water” in a Swimming Pool (“Dark Water” – Series 8, Episode 11)

X-ray water, as used by 3W, only shows organic matter:  in other words, when someone is submerged in it, it effectively erases their clothes.  When a 3W lackey suggests the appeal of X-ray swimming pools, the Doctor does not get it, and that delights me.  “Why?”  “Think about it.”  “I am thinking about it.  Why?”  Ah, bless.