Neurodivergent (Headcanon) Alley: Stede Bonnet (Our Flag Means Death)

*Stede-related spoilers.*

I told you this was coming! There’s arguably a neurodivergent reading for most of the major characters on the show—that’s just kind of how it goes with "found family of misfits" stories. But it's especially evident to me, and especially poignant, with the protagonists. We’ll start with Stede today.

(Note: personally, I think Stede and Ed both have traits of both autism and ADHD, but one is more prominent with each. For Stede, the autism definitely speaks the loudest!)

I find there’s something deeply neurodivergent about defying societal convention to do what your mind/body/soul needs you to do, because you can’t stand what you’re supposed to do a second longer, and that’s where we find Stede at the start of the series. Deeply unhappy with the life he’s “supposed” to have, he takes extreme measures to change that, having a pirate ship custom-built and running away from his world as a wealthy landowner. But even as he radically changes his life, he fills his new pirate ship with familiar, comfortable things: his favorite books, his extensive wardrobe(s), copious jars of the marmalade he loves.

First, this shows that familiarity and routine soothe him. Stede wants to change his life, but he also wants his sensory-friendly soft fabrics and comfort objects, and even as he takes to the high seas, he wants to maintain much of the day-to-day routine of his former life. But this is also an outward demonstration that he’s not being the sort of pirate he’s “supposed” to be, either. Stede idolizes famous pirates like Captain Kidd and Blackbeard, but with the Gentleman Pirate, he's creating his own vision for what he wants piracy to look like with things like his “talk it through as a crew” mantra. Again, this feels very autistic, drawing his own roadmap because he likes it better than the one that’s been laid out.

Stede doesn’t really fit in or understand the unwritten rules anywhere. He’s out of his depth as a pirate, of course, and many who meet him think he’s “soft” or an easy mark. When he goes to the Republic of Pirates of find a fence to ransom a hostage, he doesn’t realize the implications of trotting along in his white frock coat shouting, “Man for sale!”, and Lucius has to explain how it looks from the outside. When he’s stabbed, he asked, bewildered, “Did you mean to do that?” But he also didn’t fit in as a wealthy landowner—that’s part of the reason he was so unhappy. When he and Ed crash a fancy party on some aristocrats’ boat, he admits that he’s never done well at these types of social occasions. However, he fares better on the Revenge than back home in Barbados, because he’s surrounded by people who come to care about him. Even if they don’t always understand him, the crew likes him and tries to help him navigate things he isn’t always prepared for, whether that’s pointing out social cues his misses or (trying) to keep him from launching himself headfirst into a dangerous situation.

His manner can be overly blunt, and he can be awkward and try-hard in social interactions. He can be oblivious to what other people have going on, and he gets completely wrapped up in his excitement for things that nobody else cares about. But even though he’s not great with people and can fumble seemingly easy moments, Stede does long to make connections. This makes it even more special when he meets Ed, because Ed loves the quirks that everyone else thinks is odd in Stede. All the things that Stede has been mocked for his entire life, those are the things that Ed finds fascinating. The way that, despite their many differences, they’re so immediately in sync—for the first time, Stede has met someone who values him 100% for himself, who understands what he’s doing and sees the magic in that. I love that for him, and it makes me feel so warm and happy watching it.

And not for nothing, Rhys Darby, who plays Stede, is neurodivergent himself! He’s said that he doesn’t have a diagnosis but thinks he’s likely ADHD and “spectrumy.” I think that really adds to what he brings to the character and is an important part of what makes Stede so lovable to me.

Favorite Characters: Stede Bonnet (Our Flag Means Death)

*A few Stede-related spoilers.*

I’ve written about Stede and Blackbeard, of course, and I recently wrote about Blackbeard himself. Naturally, it’s time I write about Stede, too. Today is all about the Gentleman Pirate!

Our first look at the Revenge, its captain, and its crew is awkward. Stede is Michael Scott levels of ill-equipped for the task at hand. A lot of the crew think he’s too soft to be the captain, and they debate the merits of mutiny. Stede doesn’t know what he’s doing, and it shows. And somehow, as much as he’s flailing at sea, the flashbacks of his staid, stifled home life back in Barbados are even more awkward. We see how ill-suited he and Mary are to each other in their arranged marriage, how much Stede feels like Just Some Guy in his own house. He doesn’t have a meaningful relationship with his wife and his children, and every time he tries to break through to something real, he missteps or his ideas are shot down.

Don’t get me wrong: obviously, it’s not cool to abandon your wife and kids without warning and run off to be a pirate. But I understand why Stede felt that something had to give, and when Mary wouldn’t agree to a seafaring life, he decided to press forward on his own. Aboard the Revenge, he has no better idea of what he’s doing, but he immediately feels freer and more invigorated.

And for all his fumbles, he’s not a lost cause as a captain. The crew decides not to mutiny because they’d miss the bedtime stories he reads to them, and not just because he’s one of the only literate people on the ship—when it’s pointed out that Lucius could read to them, they shrug it off, pointing out that he couldn’t “do the voices.”

That’s reflective of the way Stede runs his ship. He knows very little about piracy, but in a way, that just frees him up to decide for himself what he wants it to look like, and his idea of piracy is very emotionally open. With his “we talk it through as a crew” motto, he encourages the crew to solve their differences with words instead of fists or swords. He institutes a contest to design the ship’s flag in part to give the crew a creative outlet, and when push comes to shove, he’d rather fly all of their flags than pick a winner.

For this reason, the crew stops viewing Stede as an aristocratic doofus to be got rid of and more like a bumbling family member to protect from himself. As he plows naively forward, they gently suggest emendations when he’s making himself look foolish to outsiders and generally try to keep him from getting himself killed. They’re hardly the terror of the seas, but they’re in this together, and that includes Stede.

When Blackbeard/Ed comes aboard, Stede is understandably swept up almost instantly. He’s glad to have someone who appreciates his lavish wardrobe and aristocratic quirks, and he treats him primarily as Ed, not as the fearsome pirate Blackbeard. I mean, sure, he’s keen to learn the ways of piracy from Ed—he takes to Blackbeard’s “art of fuckery” (instilling fear in other pirates through theatricality) with relish, although he’s less excited about learning how to survive getting stabbed. But he also just wants to sit around chatting with Ed, wants to comfort him when he’s upset, wants to give him genuine compliments about qualities that none of the other pirates value. It’s easy to see why Stede would be drawn to Ed, but by the same token, Stede demonstrates numerous times that he’s actually quite the catch. He may be foppish and prone to hiding during actual pirate skirmishes, but he’s unlike anyone Ed has met, and it doesn’t take long for either of them to fall thoroughly in love.

Technically, Stede has a hard in Ed’s grim transformation in the season finale, going full Kraken after Stede leaves him and Izzy berates him for breaking down over their breakup. But Stede doesn’t leave because he doesn’t care—rather, he leaves because Admiral Badminton gets in his head, convincing him that he’s such a screwup/sorry excuse for a captain that he’s “broken” the most notorious pirate who ever lived. Fearing that he’s bad for Ed, he leaves “for Ed’s own good” (pretty sure that has never actually been the correct move in a relationship.) It kills him to do it, and he almost instantly regrets it.

At the end of the season, Stede is full of hope as he sets off to reunite with his ship, his crew, and the man he loves, little knowing what awaits him. The drama is going to be so intense, and I can’t wait for season two!