Jonathan Van Ness: November 6th, 2019 (Live)

I’d just finished watching the first three seasons of Queer Eye when I saw online that Jonathan Van Ness was going to be doing a standup show not too far away from me. I admittedly that no idea what Jonathan would be like as a standup comic, but I knew I didn’t want to pass up the chance to see him live.

Again, I couldn’t predict what a JVN standup show would be like, but now having seen it, I’d say it fit him to a tee. There were numerous points where it didn’t necessarily feel like standup, but a) it definitely felt like Jonathan Van Ness and b) it was still very funny. There were jokes, there were personal and social observations, there were meandering anecdotes, there were dirty non-sequitirs, there were pop culture references, there was political commentary, there were ensemble changes, there were life lessons, there were Queer Eye stories, and yes, there was gymnastics.

For starters, Jonathan’s performing style is both very loose and very upfront. He let us know right away that he had notes taped to the floor, he admitted that he loves bringing up the house lights to see the crowd but that the size of the audience simultaneously “scares the shit out of [him,]” and he noted several lines as “hard-right” improvs that got way dirtier than he was expecting. This is an aspect of his career that’s still very much in-progress; his warm-up act, Naomi Ekperigin (who was hilarious,) performed a set that was clearly more polished and put-together than his was.

But Jonathan’s authenticity has always been one of his strongest features on Queer Eye, and that continued to serve him well here. He had the (packed) house eating out of his hand when he performed an extended depiction of the “conversations” his hair- and skincare products have with him in the shower or admitted in a small voice, “I think the number of dicks I’ve sucked has a comma in it.” He charmed us when, after a “quick change,” he cheerfully informed us that he was going to run offstage for a second to adjust his spanx. Even if his routines were sometimes only tangentially related to the theme he was assigning them, and even if he sometimes got distracted and had to wind his way back to what he was talking about, the show was no less funny or engaging for it.

Over the course of the night, he covered a wide range of topics that are well within his wheelhouse. He had some good hairdresser stories (as well as some good terrible-day-jobs-while-going-to-hairdressing-school stories!) and dished on celebrities whose hair he’s done (but only naming the ones who were nice.) He had a long routine on his reactions to his very unexpected fame and the parts of himself he’s still trying to figure out in light of that fame. He discussed social media and dating, he told amusing Baby Jonathan stories (both elementary and high school editions,) and he used video clips from a roller dancing competition to comment on the state of America from 2016 to the present. Oh yeah, and he lectured us for not having an appropriately-aghast reaction to his admission of a childhood longing to try a 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner.

Just a great night. I didn’t know what to expect going in, but afterwards, it was clear that it never could’ve been anything else.

Favorite “Characters”: Jonathan Van Ness (Queer Eye)

*Disclaimer: This is one instance where I did edit my original post. Jonathan Van Ness came out as non-binary some time after I did this write-up, and so I’ve changed some of the language to better align with his identity. While he’s said he still uses he/him pronouns (among others – he seems open to all the pronouns,) I took out words like “guy” and “man” and adjusted accordingly.*

 

Okay, so the Fab Five are real people, not characters (even though I’m sure reality TV is plenty more staged than they pretend it is,) but since Queer Eye is the first reality show I’ve talked about on the blog, I don’t really have a feature in place to write up people like I do characters.  However, I’m so not done talking about Queer Eye, and because Jonathan is both my favorite Fab Five member and quite the “character,” as they say, we’d better start with him.

One of the first things I started noticing about Jonathan is how unexpected he is.  I’d seen pictures and stuff of the new Queer Eye cast before I actually started watching the show, and I’ll admit, the images I saw of this bearded, long-haired, kind of hipstery-looking person set up a different expectation for me than the fabulous queen of a big-hearted grooming expert that I discovered in the first episode.  Of all the Fab Five, Jonathan is the most “conventionally feminine” (although, in the pilot, he eschews more explicit gender-binary-related terms and instead says his personality reflects more of the”moon” than the “sun.”)  And to be sure, there’s a lot about him that people would probably call “stereotypically gay” or, even less generously, “too much.”  He was a cheerleader in school, he always has a sassy quip locked and loaded, and he’s been known to shriek when he comes across something gross during the initial walkthrough of someone’s house.  In an episode where each of the Fab Five alludes to their coming-out experiences, Jonathan cheerfully points out that being in the closet was never really a possibility for him (Note: he’s since come out as non-binary, so it turns out he got a coming-out experience after all.)

Jonathan’s style and manner, though, keeps people guessing.   He’s someone who can pair a pretty French braid with a barbershop-quartet mustache, and his wardrobe ranges from skirts to rompers to sweatshirts.  I love that, that he likes to play around with his style/how he expresses his gender, and it’s not all one thing (side note:  one big laugh for me comes in an episode where he astounds his compatriots with the information that he spent a good chunk of his youth going to “Christian sports camp” in the summers.)  No matter how he looks, dresses, or acts, what shines is his certainty in himself and who he is.  He makes no bones about walking around an American Legion in rural Georgia in a skirt and heels, introducing himself to whoever he pleases.  That level of confidence and inner sense of self-understanding is so neat to see.

For all his one-liners, poses, and snaps, it’s also clear that Jonathan is a very warm person.  From the moment he meets the new hero for the episode (and immediately asks to touch their hair!), he’s showering them in affection, compliments, and gentle flirtation.  As I said in my review, he (along with Tan) really focuses on showing the hero that they’re already gorgeous and just need help showcasing it, not that they need him to make them gorgeous.  When he “regretfully” admits he can’t keep his promise not to fall in love with them or cries, “Who gave you permission?” (to look so good,) it just radiates fondness and care.  Jonathan doesn’t have as many “deep talks” with the heroes as some of the others are wont to do, but you can still see the personal connection he makes with them.  In addition, I like his emphasis on grooming as self-care, taking a few extra minutes a day that are just for you, as well as demonstrating to those around you that you take care of yourself.  It’s not a perspective I’ve often heard in relation to grooming, and I admit that it’s been very illuminating for me personally.

Finally, like all the Fab Five, Jonathan is just damn good at what he does.  All of his transformations look terrific, both the dramatic changes and the subtler tweaks.  When he’s in the salon with a client, he means business, and although he can give off a vibe of being flighty/distractible in interactions, his fingers absolutely fly with a scissors, a razor, or a round brush.  He makes everyone look so good, and he’s very knowledgeable too – I always like seeing him walk the hero through the process of a morning routine, showing them how to do their hair, skincare, and so on.  (Side note:  while I don’t know enough to say for sure, he also comes across as being pretty knowledgeable about Black hair – although he often enlists Black barbers to do the actual cuts, he always has a clear idea of the style he wants, and he knows how to teach Black heroes about proper upkeep of their hair.)

Nothing but love.  Queer Eye’s grooming guru is hilarious, fierce, and sweet, a walking GIF generator who always takes care to make the heroes feel special.  He’s a joy to watch, and I already can’t wait for season 4.