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Sunday, March 3
· Recap of the Week – U.S. response to recent massacre in Gaza, Supreme Court to take up Trump immunity case
o Incredible moment – At a White House press briefing, a State Department spokesperson said they can’t stop Israel because the U.S. doesn’t “dictate what other countries do,” and one of the journalists responded, “Unless you invade them.”
o John had this to say about the Supreme Court taking up Trump’s immunity case – “It’s an interesting question, and real quick: yes. Yes, a former president can be criminally prosecuted for actions taken in office.”
o When one of Trump’s lawyers was questioned on the claim, he argued that a president who uses SEAL Team 6 to assassinate a political rival could only be prosecuted if they were impeached first – “Only under those conditions? It really feels like the answer to, ‘Can the president kill a guy?’ shouldn’t be, ‘No, unless half the people in Congress think the other guy had it coming.’”
· And Now This – Newscasters React to a Season Phenomenon
o This was a montage of newscasters in Florida talking about how iguanas get “stunned” and fall out of trees when their body temperature gets too low in cold weather.
o I smiled at a meteorologist saying this in her weather report – “Right now, we are under an iguana advisory.”
· Main Story – Boeing
o The recent Alaska Airlines plane that lost a cabin door midflight was only 2 months old – “And that’s too soon for a sneaker to fall apart, let alone a multimillion-dollar aircraft.”
o Boeing’s CEO had a woefully insufficient response to the catastrophe – “When you’re asked how an unsafe plane flew in the first place, we need more information than essentially, ‘The plane was unsafe.’ Yeah, everybody knows that! There’s a fucking hole in the side of it!”
o John traced Boeing’s corner-cutting safety issues back to a merger they did with another aircraft manufacturer – Pointing out that Boeing’s then-CEO was married to his first cousin, John said, “So the last decision I’d ask this guy to make is who it’s a good idea to couple up with.”
o After the merger, Boeing became increasingly fixated on profits, spending money on stock buybacks instead of R&D and rushing unready planes into production.
o At one splashy launch event, they revealed a “new plane” that was just a façade, complete with plywood doors – “Wow, what a historic moment! So exciting to see the unveiling of the first airplane made entirely out of plywood and lies.”
o Boeing employees were asked about that plane model and whether they would want to fly on it – One of the only employees who said yes explained, “I probably would, but I kind of have a death wish too.”
o Once again, we run into the serious problem of a major corporation being trusted to police itself when it comes to following safety standards – “Boeing was playing Boeing employees to regulate Boeing. It’s the most incestuous relationship in this story so far, which is saying something, because remember this guy was fucking his first cousin!”
o John noted that some travel websites allow people to search for flights excluding certain models of plane, selected from a dropdown menu – “You know things are bad when the general public is getting this knowledgeable about specific plane models.”
o We ended with one of the show’s classic “honest advertisements” – I loved that line, “The share price needs to go up—and stay up, like our planes do almost all of the time.”
o According to the ad, Boeing’s new slogan is, “We went to business school. Get on our plane!”
Monday, March 4
· Headlines – Supreme Court rules that Trump can’t be removed from the ballot for inciting an insurrection, Trump and Biden both visit the southern border
o In response to the Supreme Court ruling, John said, “Let that be a lesson to all of you who out there who might be thinking about subverting the Constitution in a presidential election: you go, boy!”
o Desi came on to discuss it further, and John noted, “Democrats have to be disappointed in this ruling” – “Yes, Democrats are doing more shower crying than normal today, John.”
o The last two Mondays, The Daily Show has primarily focused on one topic. The (supersized) headlines are overwhelmingly about a single topic, there’s no middle segment of the show, and the interview is related to the main headline topic – The show did this occasionally under Trevor as well, only with all three segments revolving around the same topic. In particular, I remember episodes the show did on anti-trans legislation and gun violence.
o While last Monday’s episode was mainly about Israel and Gaza, today’s was mainly about the southern border – “Yes, every 2-4 years, we are reminded that we have a southern border, and it is porous.”
o We looked at a rambling clip of Trump selling the notion of “Biden migrant crime,” at one point saying his own branding attempts were “very smart” – John admitted, “I’m not completely sold on ‘Bigrant.’ It really just sounds like a migrant who’s open to crossing either border.”
o John pointed out that, while a small percentage of undocumented immigrants commit violent crimes, the same can be said of any population (although he didn’t point out that the percentage is slightly higher for native-born Americans) – “I feel pretty confident there’s still a lot of opportunity out there for our American homegrown criminals.”
o The piece ultimately led to kind of an odd place – John set up a contrast between 1) Republicans who gnash their teeth over the border but then actively tank legislation aimed at addressing it and 2) Democrats who preach the values of the Statue of Liberty but get hawkish about immigration as soon as they have to deal with migrants getting bussed into their cities. But the single example he used for “Democrats welcome migrants until they’re bussed to blue states” was NYC mayor Eric Adams, and a lot of what I’ve heard about Adams suggests that he’s not a Quintessential Democrat.
o After watching a clip of Adams declaring that New York was out of room, John exclaimed, “Yes, in the age-old battle between values and fear, values never had a f**king chance!”
· Interview – Journalist/author Jonathan Blitzer
o Blitzer’s new book, Everyone Who is Gone is Here, looks at the immigration situation in the U.S.
o When Blitzer pointed out that immigration has been instrumental in keeping the U.S. economy going through the pandemic, John countered that hiring migrants causes wages to go down – Blitzer responded, “Until there are ways of absorbing an immigrant labor force legally into the country, there are also going to be opportunities for employers to exploit the undocumented, and in the process, to drive down working wages.”
o He also argued that many solutions for addressing the border, such as hiring more immigration judges to process cases more quickly, aren’t galaxy-brain stuff, and that the ongoing turmoil comes from a lack of political will, not imagination – “These things sound boring, they sound wonky. And very specifically, Republicans in Congress are trying to block these very straight-ahead, basic measures from taking place—just basic funding measures! Because they benefit from increased chaos at the southern border.”
Tuesday, March 5
· Headlines – Sen. Kyrsten Sinema announces she won’t run for reelection, Trump supporters use AI to try and win Black votes, White House announces price gouging task force
o Ronny Chieng was the Tuesday-Thursday host this week.
- Good bit – “Me personally, I actually like that Kyrsten Sinema taught everyone a very important lesson: that you can’t assume someone’s beliefs based on how they dress. She came on the scene like, ‘Hey, everyone, look at my pink tutu, you know I’m liberal!’ And then she walked into the Senate like, ‘Private equity gets everything! Drill those orphans for oil!’”
o Trump supporters have been generating AI images of Trump hanging out with Black people in an attempt to convince more Black people to vote for him, yeesh – Ronny pointed out, “It’s pretty easy to tell if a picture of Trump is AI-generated, okay? Here’s the trick: if Donald Trump is in a picture and looks completely insane, then it’s a real picture!”
o He elaborated, “Is he smiling in front of 3,000 hamburgers? Is he staring directly into a solar eclipse? Is he touching a glowing orb with Middle East dictators? Then it’s real! I hope that clarifies things.”
o While Ronny thought “shrinkflation” was the epitome of a frivolous American problem, he said, “Look, I do think it’s a good political issue for Joe Biden to focus on. Because do you really think Americans will go to the polls to ‘protect democracy’? Hell no! But if you promise to restore the number of sprinkles on their Pop Tarts, record turnout!”
o Josh came out to talk about a social media post on shrinkflation from an unlikely source – “You’re telling me Cookie Monster just brought up shrinkflation the same week as Biden, on his own? The only words I’ve ever heard Cookie Monster say are ‘me’ and ‘cookie.’ Who taught him ‘shrinkflation’?”
o This line made me laugh – “It’s not even the biggest problem on Sesame Street! Oscar is still homeless!”
· Correspondent Piece (Jordan) – Nikki Haley supporters’ plan B
o Jordan talked to Nikki Haley supporters at a rally to see who they planned on voting for if she dropped out.
o One guy said he could never vote for Trump again, citing January 6th, and Jordan said, “You still think…insurrection?’ – When the guy confirmed it, Jordan added, “And just to be clear, insurrection bad?” For someone who talks to as many Trump supporters as he does, it was an unfortunately valid question.
o But most of them, despite some actively calling Trump a danger to democracy, balked at the thought of voting for Biden over him – The way Jordan put it, “The process of soul-searching can be agonizing for these Never—Well, Maybe Just for a Third Time Trumpers.”
o One man argued that a vote for Biden was a vote for “nothing,” just after he talked about how dangerous Trump was – When Jordan saw that the man wasn’t budging, he summed it up as, “2024: It’s Like a Punch in the Nuts. At Least You’ll Feel Something.”
· Interview – Historian/Author Yuval Noah Harari
o Harari was promoting his new children’s book Unstoppable Us, which teaches kids about “unfair” things in the world and through history.
o I liked this barometer – “The question about every story, whether about money, AI, whatever, is whether it increases or decreases the suffering of the world.”
o Ronny was all, “You heard it here!” when he was asking the atheist Harari about religion and Harari said, “Humans created God” – But Harari defied Ronny’s desire for simple “yay or nay” judgements, adding, “It should be emphasized, just because humans created it, doesn’t mean it’s bad. It can also be a good thing.”
Wednesday, March 6
· Headlines – Super Tuesday
o This made me chuckle – “Yesterday was Super Tuesday, the most important Tuesday of the year if you’re a f**king nerd.”
o At the news that Nikki Haley was suspending her campaign, Ronny had a message for her – “If you drop out, who will little girls without any principles, convictions, or charisma look up to?”
o Yep, the way is pretty well cleared for a Biden-Trump rematch – “They crushed the primaries like it was an audition for a Life Alert commercial.”
o One surprise on the Democratic side was tech entrepreneur Jason Palmer winning American Samoa – “Question, who the f**k is Jason Palmer? I’ve never seen this bloated Matt Damon in my life.”
o Ronny suspected it had to do with a campaign message Palmer had filmed, citing his correct pronunciation of American Samoa – “That’s how underrepresented the Pacific Islanders are. If you can say their name correctly, you’ll sweep the vote.”
o While Grace reported from American Samoa, Michael was sent to Minnesota to report on the sizable percentage of Democrats who voted “uncommitted” – He was salty about the situation, saying, “What am I seeing? I’m seeing Grace in an island paradise while Michael’s stuck in a Duluth parking lot!”
· North Carolina governor’s race
o Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson won the Republican primary, and hoo boy!
o In the montage that followed, we got a taste of his “women aren’t made to lead” spiel, declaring, “Called to face down Goliath, sent David, not Davida!” – Not to mention, we got a reporter noting that Robinson “said that Beyoncé is satanic.”
o In short, anti-LGBTQ, sexist, racist, anti-Semitic, and conspiracy touting – “I will give him credit, though: you don’t normally see anti-Semites busting out Yiddish [while spreading a conspiracy theory about Jews]. It’s a very woke form of hatred.”
o Ronny was baffled by Trump’s bizarre praise of Robinson – “Wait, ‘MLK times two’? Can someone check the math on that? This guy doesn’t even like MLK! I think Trump just ranks all Black people on a scale of how MLK they are.”
· Interview – Actress/filmmaker Chelsea Peretti
o Peretti was promoting her film First-Time Female Director – When asked how she became a filmmaker, she explained, “It took, like, decades. So if you have decades to spare, you too might be able to do that.”
o Ronny and Peretti are good friends, and they spent a good chunk of the interview joking with each other – Peretti announced that Ronny was too good to be in her movie because he’s “offer only,” while Ronny thought Peretti was a little too quick to point out she was on a first-name basis with Amy Poehler.
o After Peretti teased Ronny for saying “debut-ted,” he said, “Oh, did I make a minor grammatical mistake when I speak three languages? I’m sorry!” – Peretti deapanned, “I’m sorry, I’m a white feminist, I don’t really care about race.”
Thursday, March 7
· Headlines – Man gets 217 COVID shots, U.S. airdrops aid to Gaza, TSA tests self-screening technology, National Guard deployed to patrol NYC subways
o Apparently, 217 COVID shots averaged out to one every four days – “I mean, I know anti-vaxxers are stupid, but let’s not overcorrect here, okay?”
o Ronny hit the issue on the head here with U.S. aid to Gaza – “Yes, that’s right. America managed to airdrop food around a blockade that Israel built with weapons America gave them.”
o This made me laugh – “Or maybe America should just invent weapons that only fire food, and then send those to Israel.”
o With the TSA’s new “self-screening” system, passengers walk themselves through the screening, with a virtual TSA agent standing by via a screen – “What the f**k is this shit? So it’s a regular TSA line, but you added a Zoom meeting?”
o Valid question – “Even if [the TSA does] catch someone, what are they gonna do? Order us to tackle ourselves?”
o Ronny had no patience for an NYC official advising the public on how to be vigilant against crime on the subway – “I’m definitely not lowering the volume on my music, okay? You think I wanna be alone with my thoughts on public transport? I’d rather get stabbed!”
o There was a 45% rise in subway crime in January – “Which is actually impressive. New York criminals are the only ones keeping their New Year’s resolutions.”
o In a further report, Ronny asked Troy what’s being done to address the root causes of subway crime, suggesting solutions like mental health treatment and affordable housing – Troy replied, “Oh, those sound like real nice expensive things. We just don’t have the money for that.”
o Ronny went on to ask, “Okay, but how much does all that National Guard stuff cost?” – Troy said, “…Don’t worry about that! That’s military spending, so it doesn’t count.”
o This was great – “Military money, it just appears when it’s needed. You know, like a fairy godmother with a rocket launcher.”
· Correspondent Piece (Michael) – The border town of Eagle Pass, Texas
o It turned out that many of the people Michael talked to about the “invasion” at the border were primarily concerned about the flood of GOP politicians and pundits coming down to Eagle Pass, stirring up rhetoric and driving up hotel prices – “[The] concerns were justified, because when America sends its people to Eagle Pass, they’re not always sending their best.”
o Michael exchanged words with a MAGA dude sitting in a lawn chair with protest signs about migrants – He responded to one the man’s accusations with, “If I sold my soul to the devil to be more successful in media, I would be more successful. I wouldn’t be sitting here in Eagle Pass, Texas.”
o The local head of the Republican party insisted to Michael that she didn’t demonize immigrants, saying, “We just want them to come legally, through the front door” – But since she’d casually dropped slurs earlier in the interview, Michael wasn’t convinced. He pointed out, “Calling them ‘w*****ks,’ to me, is not a ‘we welcome you here.’”
· Interview – Actress Awkwafina
o Awkwafina was there to promote Kung Fu Panda 4, which Ronny also appears in – For most of the interview, they did a bit where Ronny insisted that Awkwafina interview him about the movie instead.
o Ronny had prepared question cards for her, such as, “Your voice acting is so realistic. Did you go to Julliard or something?”
o When, at his prompting, Awkwafina asked how he prepared for his role voicing a fish, Ronny said, “Well, I’ve been kind of eating fish my whole life, so I knew what this character would really taste like. And I channeled that into—I tried to put a little bit of fishiness into [it].”
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