Ordinary People (1980, R)

*Premise spoilers, as well as some discussion of important points from Next to Normal.*

Before I ever saw this film for the first time, I still had a major association with it due to an old sketch from the 1981 Cambridge Footlights Revue featuring Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry. It looks like the sketch has since been pulled from YouTube for copyright reasons, but in it, Fry and Laurie play a pair of nauseatingly middle-class husbands who are playing charades during a social get together, and they pick Ordinary People for the other team to act out. Hugh Laurie pressing his mouth against Tony Slattery’s ear and leaning against him as he repeatedly intones, “Ordinary People!” always makes me laugh.

The film itself is a very different story, which follows the Jarrett family: father Calvin, mother Beth, and son Conrad. There’s been a pall cast over the household since their other son Buck was killed in a boating accident. Conrad, who survived the accident, fell into an intense depression after his brother’s death and has only recently returned from a mental health facility. While Conrad struggles to feel “normal,” Beth is determined to move forward, and Calvin is desperate to hold everyone together, every member of the family is weighed down by a shared hurt that each feels they have to face alone.

Watching the film this time around, I was struck by a number of similarities to Next to Normal. Both involve family grief over the death of a child, and in both, the mother and the surviving child find it nearly impossible to relate to each other while the dad tries to put a brave, optimistic face on everything. There are major differences, of course, chiefly that the mom in Next to Normal isn’t living with mental illness, but there are still some pretty loud parallels. I can’t remember whether or not Next to Normal was around the first time I watched Ordinary People, but I know I didn’t pick up on those similarities then.

This is a very human story of a hurting family stuck in the cage of suburbia, where appearing “all right” in front of the neighbors is of far greater importance than actually being all right. At his dad’s pestering, Conrad starts seeing a therapist, but he tells Dr. Berger from the start that he’s only there so the doctor can help him feel more “in control,” because he wants everyone to just stop worrying about him. He’s consumed with how his actions, and his state of mind, affect others, seeking help for their benefit rather than his own. Meanwhile, as Conrad struggles, Beth is more upset to learn about potential red flags secondhand, rather than hearing them from Conrad himself. She’s hyper-focused on how Conrad’s wellbeing reflects on her, fearful that people will think she’s a bad mother if her son isn’t acting right. That leaves Calvin in the middle, fearfully worried about Conrad’s mental health but trying to “buck up” for the sake of everyone around him.

It's a simple film, but a lovely one. Based on a novel by Judith Guest and directed by Robert Redford, the movie follows the honest emotions of the characters, even as they try to repress them. It does a fine job of showing the weighty moments that are hiding behind small talk and dishwashing, dinner parties and choir practice.

All the actors turn in strong, effective work. As someone who came of age in the 21^st century, I’m used to seeing Donald Sutherland in more sinister roles (a la President Snow in The Hunger Games,) so it’s very different to see him as Calvin, a decent guy who’s trying his best in a situation he’s not fully equipped for. Similarly, I’m used to Mary Tyler Moore’s warmth and brightness, as opposed to the buttoned-up, somewhat cold Beth. I’m not a fan of Timothy Hutton these days, but I can’t deny that he’s excellent as Conrad, who’s been hiding from his pain for so long he’s not even sure what it’s about anymore. Hutton remains the youngest Best Supporting Actor winner in Oscar history. Also very good is Judd Hirsch as Dr. Berger. He’s blunt but not callous, sympathetic but not coddling, and throughout the film, he fights to get Conrad to see what he needs.

Warnings

Strong thematic elements (including discussion of suicide,) language (including sexist remarks,) sexual references, drinking/smoking, and involvement of an alleged sexual predator.