John Leguizamo is our newest guest host. He declared, “I’m especially glad to be hosting during Hispanic Heritage Month.” Of course, when the audience started cheering, he pointed out that Hispanic Heritage Month was really in September, adding, “Come on, that was a test, y’all! Oh my god, I have a lot to teach y’all this week.”
Monday, March 27
· Headlines – Trump campaign rally in Waco, French pension protests, George Santos settles in Brazilian fraud case, Florida principal forced to resign over David statue
o At Trump’s campaign rally, he said that Stormy Daniels “wouldn’t be the one” he’d have had an affair with, then seemed to realize he shouldn’t be talking about having affairs at all – John said, “Wow, nice save, bro. You can actually see his brain try to turn the car around while his mouth was driving.”
o This made me laugh – “I love that Trump’s running for office and from the law at the same time.”
o The story on the protests in France focused on a viral photo of a couple eating at an outdoor café while the street was burning behind them – “While the protests definitely focused attention on the issue, at this point they’ve been going on for so long that they’ve become part of the, uh, how do you say, ze ambiance.”
o This led to some assuming French jokes – After examining what the French would and would not be concerned about, John decided, “The only unacceptable scene in a French café is sitting next to American tourists.”
o John explained that he wanted to use his week on the show to highlight important Latinos in the U.S., and unfortunately for him, the first name that came up on his roulette wheel was George Santos – “To be fair, we can’t take blame for this guy, because we don’t even know if he’s really Latino or not.”
o Santos’ latest scandal is about the time he wrote a bad check to buy 1000s of dollars’ worth of clothes, using a check he stole from an elderly man his mother was caring for – “In a way, you have to respect Santos, though. A lot of Republicans just want to end social security, but Santos has the balls to take an old man’s wallet directly from his pocket!”
o I laughed at this line – “Finally, let’s check in on Florida, ‘cause you know they’re at it again.”
o I loved John’s impression of Floridian parents upset that their sixth grade children saw a photo of Michelangelo’s David – “I don’t care which Ninja Turtle carved it!”
o Great observation – “Do you know how backwards you seem when people in the 1500s seem more progressive than you? Many of those people’s ideas of medicine was drilling a hole in your skull and pumping it full of mercury. And Floridians are going, ‘These guys are just too sophisticated for us, you know?’”
o Ronny joined in for the David story, and he had some fun jokes about the statue’s endowment – “I know people in the past were smaller, but damn! Even if you adjust his penis for inflation, it’s still a little underwhelming.”
o Another good one from Ronny – “I’m pretty sure this is why they invented the telescope during the Renaissance—so they could see this dude’s dick.”
o However, Ronny wasn’t concerned about the pushback against the statue – “It’s why Florida rocks! They refuse to be cultured in any way, all right? Books, banned. Renaissance art, banned. Reruns of Queer Eye, banned. Basically, if you can’t shoot it or drive a monster truck over it, Florida thinks it’s gay and therefore banned.”
· Latino representation in films
o A recent study showed that, while Latinos make up 18% of the U.S. population, they only constituted 5% of the speaking roles in last’s 100 highest-grossing films – “Yeah, I mean, it’s crazy! Latinos are almost 20% of the country, but we’re barely represented in film and television? Especially since every movie last year took place in the multiverse. Come on, you’re telling me there ain’t one dimension that’s In the Heights?”
o In reference to news that James Franco had been cast to play Fidel Castro, John declared, “Well, guess what? If white people can take our parts, Imma take theirs!” – He then detailed his plans to play Gwyneth Paltrow in the eventual dramatization of her ski accident trial.
o This led into a sketch where John played both himself and various casting directors he’s encountered over the years – One congratulated him on not seeming too Latino, remarking, “Can you imagine if he were white? Superstar alert!” Another confirmed, “You’d be one of the big white guys.”
o When John expressed confusion at contradictory directions, one casting director advised, “Just do what you did in The George Lopez Show.”
o Most confusingly, the casting directors simultaneously told him to be “more Latino” and “less Latino” – One told him, “Hold this piñata, just in case.”
· Interview – The View cohost Ana Navarro
o Once John and Navarro were both seated at the desk, John said, “For the people at home, you’re not watching Univision. It’s still The Daily Show.”
o Navarro quipped, “Part of me wants you not to emphasize [that we’re both Latino], ‘cause I’m afraid immigration will show up at any moment.”
o When asked how Republicans did so well courting the Latino vote, Navarro pointed out that Democrats didn’t really try to win them over, instead taking their votes as a given – “You can’t show up six weeks before an election. You have to show up.”
o She also talked about how Republicans speak to Latinos who left political turmoil, calling Democrats socialists/communists to stoke their fears – She noted that Biden laughed in response to someone asking if he was a socialist, then added, “We need more than laughter. You know what we need him to say? We need him to say, ‘Let me tell you what socialists do: they attack the free press. They attack political opponents. They attack private businesses. Guess who’s doing that in America today?’”
o John noted that part of the reason Latinos have struggled to attain political power is due to infighting between different ethnicities – Navarro agreed, saying, “By themselves, Cubans are 3 ½%. Mexican Americans are 11%. Together, we’re almost 20%! And guess what? If we build alliances with other groups like African Americans, we are unstoppable!”
o This was a great line – “This much I know, John. The people who hate you, the people who hate me, don’t care about that. They don’t care how much of your DNA came from Spain or how much of it came from indigenous America. They care that you’re a Latino and they want to otherize us.”
Tuesday, March 28
· Headlines – Trump slams Ron DeSantis, Nashville school shooting, scientists create mammoth meatball
o Trump claimed that, if it weren’t for him, Ron DeSantis wouldn’t have won his election and would not be working at either a pizza place or a law office. John speculated that Trump can’t imagine Italian Americans in any other jobs and imagined a combination between the two – “Hey, come here, ya mook! Have you been injured on the job and you’re hungry?”
o John also noted Trump’s pattern of claiming that people came to him “with tears in [their] eyes” – “Is he constantly chopping onions? Is he always just playing the beginning of Up for some reason?”
o John was disgusted by a Tennessee representative shrugging off the school shooting in Nashville – “ ‘There’s not a lot of heck you can do about it?’ That’s the best you have to offer? You’re a congressman! If you don’t have any ideas for how to keep our kids safe, get the f**k out of the way and go work at a Pinkberry or some shit.”
o Another great response to the congressman’s comments – “By the way, no disrespect to his father, but if going to school in America feels like fighting in World War II, that should be a sign that things are seriously f**ked up in America, okay?”
o With some, like Marjorie Taylor Greene, further demonizing trans folks over the shooting, John appealed directly to her, suggesting that the U.S. ban all assault rifles just in case any of their owners later come out as trans – “Some people might say I’m trying to trick you into supporting gun control, but we all know you’re too smart for that!”
o This line, about the woolly mammoth meatball story, made me laugh – “It’s just good to know that there are some scientists who are focused on the important problems of our time. ‘Cause they’re like, ‘Listen, we don’t have a cure for cancer, but we can tell you what Mr. Snuffleupagus tastes like.’”
· Host Piece – Breaking
o John interviewed an old friend of his, a well-known dancer called Crazy Legs – He remarked, “Now that you’re older, you think you maybe need to change your name from Crazy Legs to something a little more mature, like Stable Legs? ‘Crazy’s kind of become like an ableist term, you know, so maybe something more like Neurodivergent Legs.”
o This made me smile – “So, hip hop culture, man. It started underground. Nobody knew about it, it was a Black and Latino thing. And now, one out of five suburban dads want to breakdance.”
· Interview – Actress/activist Diane Guerrero
o At the start of the interview, John and Guerrero bonded over their mutual difficulty in convincing people that they were in Encanto.
o Guerrero was there to talk about her work with the Visionary Alliance for the National Hispanic Media Coalition, which pushes for better representation for Latinos.
o She offered some statistics, such as the fact that, out of 1600 high-grossing films in recent years, only 21 of them were directed by women of color – “All I know is that that’s cultural apartheid.”
o She hit the nail on the head – “We want representation. We want the right kind of representation. We’re tired of the only things getting made about us: drug lords, criminals, cops, maids… We want to be represented as we are. Real, beautiful, curious, you know, existential-crises-having, and yes, maybe even mediocre.”
o That last point really struck a chord with John – “Oh my god, I’m jealous, ‘cause white people get to fail upwards. I can barely succeed upwards.”
Wednesday, March 29
· Headlines – NFL to allow the number 0 on jerseys, Dutch man donated sperm for 550 children, Wisconsin supreme court election, Mike Pence ordered to testify about Trump in January 6th case
o Ouch – “No really, I think this is a great way for football players to celebrate the amount of braincells they’ll have left when they retire.”
o John broke down why the Wisconsin supreme court election matters so much – “When Roe vs. Wade was overturned, Wisconsin automatically went back to a strict anti-abortion law from 1849. That is so long ago. You know what the number-one movie was in 1849? Nothing! They weren’t invented yet!”
o I liked John’s reaction to hearing what sort of questions Pence might be called on to answer in the January 6th case – “Aw, come on, man, don’t make Pence say all the names that Trump called him! Yo, that could take weeks. These jury members have families to go home to.”
o Naturally, he had a fun impression of Pence doing just that – A few of the names included, “a little mashed potato boy,” “a jerkoff for Jesus,” and “the white Mitt Romney.”
o Roy decided that, if neither Pence nor Trump want him to testify, they could solve it by getting married – This led into him imagining the two eventually falling in love and raising a child together, “a kid so white, he can gentrify a building just by touching it!”
· Host Piece – Latinx IQ test
o John hit the streets of New York City with a map of Latin America, but he didn’t find very many knowledgeable people – When he asked one man to show him where Puerto Rico was, the guy just said, “Puerto Rico? Somewhere on this map.”
o The piece devolved into a bit where John was first interrupted, and eventually terrorized, by kids demanding he do his Sid voice from Ice Age – I laughed at the ice-cold demand, “Now do Bruno.”
· Interview – Musician Princess Nokia
o John noted that Princess Nokia was a multi-hyphenate who’s found success in many different arenas, and he asked, “What drives all that?” – She replied, “Creativity, you know? The need to want to express myself.” She also mentioned the need to fight off boredom, saying, “You know, they say, ‘Idleness is the devil’s playground,’ and I don’t ever want to be in the devil’s playground. I just want to have fun.”
o I liked this description – “I’m very spirited. I’m very protective. I was taught to fight with my words and my hands, and be vivacious, and be protective. And I am protective of myself and my loved ones.”
o Princess Nokia talked about how important John and his work were to her growing up – When he questioned her parents letting her watch his specials as a kid, she insisted, “It was a household thing. We saw you, and we saw ourselves.”
Thursday, March 30
· Headlines – Trump indicted, Fox News Dominion lawsuit, tech tycoons call for pause on AI development
o The crowd, and John, gave Trump’s indictment a standing ovation – “That’s right: Lady Justice grabbed Trump by the pussy.”
o Good joke – “At least in prison, he’ll be able to pursue his greatest passions—reading, working out, and converting to Islam.”
o John “argued” that Fox News isn’t as bad as people make them out to be, announcing that he’d shave his beard if it came out that that they told their viewers things they actively knew were false – When we cut back to him after a clip about the latest Dominion filings, he was cleanshaven and there was a razor on the desk. “Yep, that’ll teach me,” he quipped.
o Loved this – “That’s right, Fox News got mad at their fact checker. I didn’t even know they had a fact checker! You know, it’s like hearing there’s a Head of Diversity at the KKK.”
o Ha! – “Yo, I can’t wait to see what other things Fox admits to in these emails. I mean, we’re a few weeks away from finding out that Sean Hannity does a drag story hour at his local kindergarten.”
o Good bit – “Yeah, AI is getting way too powerful. As soon as it learns how to pick which one of these [captcha] images is a bike, we’re f**ked.”
o Desi was all in on the fear over AI – “Come on, John, war with the machines is inevitable. So let’s do it now while it’s still a chatbot instead of waiting until it’s a bloodthirsty killbot.”
· Long Story Short – The southern border
o We dove into this topic with a look at history, where the first barriers along the border were to keep cows from crossing back and forth, because cows were picking up ticks on one side and carrying them across to the other – “That’s right: the first border fence was to keep out ticks. It’s the one time it wasn’t racist to say, ‘We gotta stop these filthy animals from coming over here.’”
o This was beautifully stated – “Look, we can talk about numbers or figures or demographics, but the immigration debate is never about facts. It’s about fear.”
o Good observation – “This type of rhetoric isn’t meant to solve any problems! It’s meant to dehumanize immigrants into zombie criminals, because then all you’ll want to do is build the wall.
o Topnotch January 6th joke here – “And by the way, Donald Trump of all people, I thought you would understand wanting to stay longer than you’re supposed to.”
o I loved John’s reaction to Fox News hosts’ efforts to tie fentanyl to migration – “Of course ‘fentanyl doesn’t walk across the border by itself!’ Do you know the street value of fentanyl? That bitch drives a Caddy!”
o Of course, their argument breaks down when it turns out 86% of fentanyl traffickers are U.S. citizens, but as John said, the facts are often irrelevant to this debate.
· Interview – Rep. Ritchie Torres
o In light of the news, John had to ask Torres for a reaction to Trump’s indictment first – He noted, “Well, Donald Trump on Truth Social announced that he’s been ‘indicated,’ rather than ‘indicted.’”
o I liked this observation – “Diversity is not a source of division, it’s a source of unity. The House Democratic Caucus is the most diverse legislative caucus in American history. 70% of the caucus consists of members of the LGBTQ community, women, people of color…Like, the House Democratic Caucus has more diversity and intersection than George Santos.”
o John and Torres also discussed the recent school shooting in Nashville – Torres said, “Every society on Earth has mental illness. We are the only wealthy country that has an epidemic of gun violence and mass shootings. Let’s be clear: it is not an inevitability. It’s a public policy choice. We as a society have chosen to put our own children at risk of gun violence.”
I really liked John; he might be my favorite host so far. He was funny, smart, and passionate, and he was bursting with Latinidad. It was also cool that all four guests this week, while each coming from different industries/arenas, were Latino.
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