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Sunday, October 9
· Recap of the Week – Iran protests
o Before we got into Iran, John commented on a Biden speech that involved the regrettable statement “Two words: made in America” – “Yeah, that’s three words, Joe. Three words—you just out-Bidened yourself!”
o We focused on how many of the protests in Iran right now are school-aged girls who are not messing around – I loved the shot of them running through the streets yelling, “Death to the dictator.”
o John side eyed the Ayatollah’s claim that the U.S. is behind the protests – “It is not like America has not meddled in Iran’s affairs in the past, but in this instance, the protesters seem very clear about who they are mad at, and it is him.”
· And Now This – Fox News on Christopher Columbus
o Oh man, this montage – “Of course he was flawed. We’re all flawed! Who are we to judge?”
o Also an… interesting take – “For better or worse, Columbus was an epic figure in human history.”
· Main Story – Crime reporting
o This story looked at how the media reports on crime, such as the recent fearmongering over rainbow fentanyl – “Even if dealers were targeting trick-or-treaters with a ‘first one’s on the house’ strategy, where do you expect little Zeke to come up with the cash for the next one? Sure, he’s got his weekly allowance, but he smacked his brother yesterday, so that’s that dollar gone, and the rest of his net worth is tied up in Lego Store gift cards. He is useless to dealers. Maybe check back in ten years after he gets prescribed oxy after a lacrosse injury.”
o Even some of the very outlets reporting on this scare story admit within the stories that there’s been no actual case of someone slipping a kid rainbow fentanyl, but by the time they say it, the damage has already been done – “I’m so glad you tacked that disclaimer on at the end there, though. I’m sure that three-second debunk read over the station logo is exactly what everyone gonna take away from that report and definitely not the image of little Hulks sticking their hands into bowls of Skittle-shaped smack.”
o John questioned why simply showing people’s mugshots is considered news – “The New York Daily News even has mugshot galleries on their website right now, with titles like ‘Criminally Bad Hair Days’ and ‘Babes Behind Bars.’ It’s fun, isn’t it? It’s fun because it’s their worst day.”
o We looked at local news stories that report on arrests but fail to follow up, like in the case of a man who was accused of sexual assault, after which his accuser recanted and was charged with filing a false police report. Guess which part of the story the news didn’t share? – “Jim, your paper goofed. You can’t just report the start of a story and ignore the end. Imagine if the news hadn’t covered the end of Balloon Boy. Oh well, guess he’s still up there. The balloon has left my immediate line of vision, so who really gives a shit?”
o We also spent a lot of time looking at police interactions with reporters. John noted that some large police departments have whole divisions dedicated to PR, with Los Angeles spending $3-4 million a year on its information units – “Which is already a little telling. Because, while a certain amount of spending is necessary, you don’t spend that much on PR if things are going great.”
o This was an excellent example, in relation to news organizations often repeating police statements verbatim – “The fact reporters will echo PIOs [public information officers] does explain certain things, like the ubiquity of phrases like ‘officer-involved shooting.’ You see it in police accounts all the time, but it’s a weird term for reporters to repeat because it deliberately omits crucial information about how the officer was involved.”
o In one instance, local news reported on a drug bust based on a post from the police department’s social media page, which included a picture of the evidence seized. John pointed out that, while the seized cash was spread out on the table to look like it was as much as possible, it was mostly singles and in fact only added up to $70 – While the media reported the police’s version of events as fact, one of the replies to that post read, “Who was the drug dealer… El Cheapo?”
o Good bit – “As many of you have undoubtedly been yelling at your TV, like I am a Wheel of Fortune contestant who cannot solve the puzzle, police lie, and they lie a lot.”
o The first and biggest example we looked at of police deliberately misleading in their statements was George Floyd’s murder – “Obviously, that is a hugely self-serving statement from the police, because by saying George Floyd died because of ‘medical distress’, their role was completely erased. His ‘medical distress’, and I’m using the biggest air quotes humanly possible here, was the result of an officer pressing his knee into his neck for nine minutes.”
o Meanwhile, the “eye witness” who spoke to reporters after Laquan McDonald’s murder was 1) not there during the shooting and 2) a spokesman for the Chicago police union/lobby – “His only agenda is to protect cops, and it was way too easy for this little mustachioed weirdo to hear that there was a shooting, drive to the scene, jump in front of cameras, and grab control of the narrative.”
o This was a great point – “By presenting police uncritically, you’re not just helping them dodge accountability. You’re giving them a huge lobbying platform. Right now, you don’t have to look far to find cops on TV to suggest that the fix for any rise in crime is to undo the criminal justice reforms of the past few years, and to give them more money.”
· And Now This – Local news reporter Pat Collins
o They’ve showed this guy before, a local news reporter whose style they describe as “beat poetry” – My favorite one in this montage was, “In this park, there was a biting, there was a sighting, there was a trapping, and tonight, one fox is in custody.”
Tuesday, October 11
· Headlines – Sen. Tommy Tuberville’s reparations remarks, LA city councilor’s leaked racist remarks, Ye’s anti-Semitic posts
o This was great, about New Zealand instituting a tax on cows for their methane generation – “This is how much billionaires are winning in the world. Even cows are getting taxed before them.”
o This made me laugh – “I don’t know if you guys have ever heard of racism, but it’s a pretty hot thing these days. And by these days, I mean the last like 1,000 years.”
o Great take on Tommy Tuberville’s comments – “I’ve got to say, people, I’ve heard racists say all kinds of things. I’ve heard them say that Black people are criminals, and I’ve heard them say that reparations are reverse racism. But it takes a true racism innovator to combine both ideas at the same time. Yeah, this is like the stuffed crust pizza of racism.”
o Loved this bit – “How is this man gonna stand onstage and imply that all criminals are Black? Huh? That is disgusting. Has this Senator never watched Netflix, huh? I’m not gonna stand here and let Tommy Tuberville erase all these white people’s contributions! This is the real racism, my friends. Trying to make it seem like white people can’t do crime, how dare you!”
o Trevor side eyed LA city councilor Nury Martinez’s self-censorship – “I’m not sure she censored herself in the right place. That was weird of her. She be like, ‘Bouncing off the effing walls like a little monkey.’ You know, I think you would have censored the racism and just say, ‘F**k.’ I think that would be better.”
o Great line – “I’m sorry, people, if you believe that Black kids deserve to be beaten, you have no place being on the LA City Council. You clearly belong in the LAPD.”
o I don’t think Trevor was as insightful in the Ye bit, but there were still some funny lines – “It’s funny that he starts his threat with, ‘I’m a bit sleepy tonight.’ What is that? Does anti-Semitism make you tired? Is that why MAGA people love the MyPillow guy?”
o The last time Ronny was the headline correspondent, Trevor announced his plans to leave the show – This time around, Ronny said, “Before we begin, I just want to check. Do you have any major announcements you want to make first? Any emotional or life-changing decisions about your professional life that you might want to talk about before I get started?”
o Ronny looked at Ye’s tweet further in his social media segment – “Any time you are writing something in lowercase and then you put the race of a people in all caps, that’s not a good place to be, okay? Because even if you’re saying something nice, it’s not going to read well. You could be saying like, ‘I want to wish a Happy Hanukkah to the JEWISH PEOPLE.’ It doesn’t work.”
o I laughed at this – “What’s going on with this line? ‘Also Jew, actually Jew also.’ I mean, it sounds like he let the iPhone predictive text write a manifesto for him.”
o Ronny was angry about an opening blurb that Mark Zuckerberg’s latest Metaverse “innovation” was legs for people’s avatars – “What else are you gonna invent in your magic world? College debt?”
· Main Story – Russia retaliates against the U.S. for Ukraine aid
o In among the various ways Ukraine has been fighting back against Russia, Trevor added, “They even gave Putin’s personal email to Bed, Bath & Beyond’s mailing list.”
o Mostly, though, we focused on minor Russian actions against the U.S., which weren’t all that effective – “That’s right, people. The Russians took out websites for some American airports. And please, everyone calm down. Calm down! I know we all log onto laguardia.com to see the latest news about which terminal will be under construction for the next 17 years. But today we will all have to discover which area is under construction for ourselves! Stay calm! Just stay calm!”
o Desi reported on the situation on the ground – “Let me tell you, it is chaos. Trash bins are overflowing. People are sleeping half naked on the carpet.” Predictably, when Trevor asked if this was due to Russian interference, she answered, “No, no, this is always LaGuardia, Trevor.”
o Still, Desi thought there was Russian foul play at work – “Clearly there’s something going on here. There are three Sunglass Huts next to each other! And I just walked past a bathing suit store. What kind of psychopath buys a bathing suit at the airport? Did you not know where you were going?”
· Interview – Former D.C. police officer Michael Fanone
o Fanone was one of the officers at the Capitol on January 6th, where he was savagely beaten by insurrectionists – “I remember the brutality of that day as if it were yesterday. And hearing people, you know, especially lawmakers, elected so-called leaders of this country, downplay or deny the reality of that day, I mean, to say it’s infuriating is an understatement. I mean, it pisses me the f**k off.”
o Good remark from Trevor – “I’ve often said, one thing that perturbs me in America is how people will use the idea of either the military or law enforcement to further their narrative, but it seems like they don’t actually have that same reverence for actual law enforcement or military. You know, you see people, veterans, being homeless, or you see law enforcement treated like yourself.”
o Fanone has written a book that explore January 6th and its aftermath, as well as his observations about policing from his years as a narcotics officer – “We looked at success as the quantity of arrests. How many arrests were made in a specific area, that’s how we determined that we were being successful in that area.”
Wednesday, October 12
· Headlines – Biden moves to reclassify gig workers as employees, Pennsylvania Senate race, LA mayoral race, Fat Bear Week cheating scandal
o Opening blurb on the recent NASA mission to practicing deflecting an asteroid – “I’m not really sure this was all necessary, though. Like, send a vessel up to hit the asteroid. You spend all that money. Like, if we’re honest, one immigrant mother could have done the same thing just by holding up a slipper.”
o Good intro on the gig economy – “You know, the reason your Tinder date had to make a stop to deliver Shake Shack.”
o Sadly true – “Right now any single Senate race in America could determine which party could take control of the Senate, giving them the power to get nothing done for the next two years.”
o Trevor had no time for people claiming that Pennsylvania candidate John Fetterman was unfit for the Senate after his stroke – “Look, this is politics, so I get it. People will jump on any weakness to give their party an advantage. I understand that. But let’s be real, people. If stumbling over a word every now and again disqualified you from politics, American wouldn’t have had a president for the past six years.”
o I also liked Trevor’s take on Fetterman using captions in a recent interview – “If you ask me, I think America needs more people in politics who actually knows how to read. Maybe that’s just how I see it.”
o I loved Trevor’s response to an LA mayoral candidate saying he wasn’t white, he was Italian, adding, “That’s Latin” – “Look, I’m not claiming to be an expert. But if you tell someone you’re grabbing Latin food, I think they’ll be pretty pissed off when you come back with Olive Garden, right? We can all agree on that.”
o Trevor really sold this bit – “Yes, my friends, it appears that a voting scandal has tainted the dignity of Fat Bear Week. And don’t you dare laugh. Don’t you laugh! If we cannot trust in the sanctity of the fat bear vote, then what can we trust?”
· Correspondent Piece (Desi) – Paper shortages ahead of the midterms
o I smiled at this introduction – “Hi. I’m Peabody Award-wanting investigative journalist Desi Lydic.”
o Desi spoke to a man who runs a factory that prints ballots and other election materials, and the paper shortage was no good – “Historically, we could order paper, and in two to three weeks we’d have what we need. Now it’s three to four months or more.”
o He also pointed out that there may not be enough materials to print “I Voted” stickers, adding, “Could also be digital stickers. Instead of getting the physical sticker, you get a digital sticker when you vote” – Desi said, “Jeff, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” to which he simply replied, “Fair enough.”
· Interview – Ghetto Gastro chefs Lester Walker, Jon Gray & Pierre Serrao
o The three chefs/entrepreneurs were promoting their new cookbook Black Power Kitchen.
o Gray talked about their mission statement for Ghetto Gastro – “We know opposites attract, and as a multidisciplinary business, we want to use food as a vehicle to tell stories, you know, about culture, politics, empowerment.”
o These guys had slogans for days – In discussing community, they said, “We break bread to build bridges,” and they described their natural/healthy ingredients as “from the soil to the oil.”
o Walker explained why their cookbook features a lot more Black culture than just food, such as provocative artwork alongside the recipes – “When you think about food, you think about nourishment. And it’s really about nourishing the mind, body, and the soul. So we have to combine these, the art, the music, the design aspect, the fashion, the fleek.”
o Gray talked about the importance of offering healthier versions of traditional Black foods to communities that haven’t often been afforded access to healthy food options – “We don’t call it a food desert, we call it food apartheid because it’s not a natural occurrence. You know, this is social engineering, areas that have been underestimated, underinvested in, and exploited.”
Thursday, October 13
· Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That – New inflation report, Alex Jones verdict, Andy Warhol Supreme Court case, Trump classified documents investigation, January 6th hearing
o This made me laugh – “I will say, a 34% increase in candy, that is a lot. It’s so expensive, parent are going to start encouraging their kids to get into strange vans, you know? Just like, ‘Look, look, Timmy, the stranger says he’s got free candy. And in this economy, we’ve got to take a shot, buddy. We got to do it. You got AirTag. I’ll find you.’”
o Amusing take on Alex Jones, who owes nearly $1 billion in damages to Sandy Hook families – “You know you f**ked up when even your great-great-grandkids will have to declare bankruptcy. Yeah, he’s basically got millions of sperm swimming around in his balls, and every single one of them is a broke-ass bitch right now.”
o I loved Trevor’s reaction to the latest news in the Trump documents investigation – “Yo, I’m sorry, Trump is a legend. Who else gets caught committing crimes with their own security cameras? Who are you? How are you real?”
o Great bit – “Trump is so bad at crime, but he gets away with so much of it. It just shows us that we could do crime too. Yeah, he’s like the drunk couple at karaoke. Hearing them screech through ‘Don’t Stop Believin’’ gives you the confidence to try ‘Kiss from a Rose.’”
o We looked at the clip from the January 6th hearing where Nancy Pelosi talked about insurrectionists defecating on the chamber floors – “You know, when I was watching this happen, I thought to myself, it’s so interesting how people like Tucker Carlson were calling Black people animals when the George Floyd protests were happening. But when these people were literally shitting in the Capitol, Fox was like, ‘These brave Patriots are just expressing their frustration and standing up for American democracy.’”
o Trevor applauded the January 6th committee’s decision to subpoena Trump, but he added, “Finally!” – “How are they only deciding on this now? Huh? Only now? It’s like doing a whole murder investigation, and then on the last day, being like, ‘Should we, like, talk to the murderer? Yeah? He might have some information about the murder—maybe.’”
o Trevor pondered whether Trump would be able to resist speaking to the committee – “Can you imagine the ratings? This would be like the Super Bowl meets Watergate meets Game of Thrones meets a mandatory HR video about sexual harassment. Everyone will be watching!”
· Correspondent Piece (Michael) – Trump investigation special master
o This was a sketch in which Michael played special master Raymond Dearie – “The first task is dividing the documents into files that are classified, files that are declassified, and files that are stuffed with cold cuts. The first one I thought was just a mistake, but now I think he thought the folders are also a type of bread?”
o Some of the various things Michael pulled out of the filing cabinets included a puppy, a bag of liquid labeled “for Rudy,” and a mousetrap.
· Interview – Actor Quintessa Swindell
o Swindell talked about their character Cyclone from Black Adam – “Cyclone has become such a, like an important person, an important character in my life, and she’s formed so much of, like, how I enter spaces now and how I embrace myself more.”
o Trevor noted that Swindell was the first known non-binary person to be featured in a DC movie – Swindell replied, “As far as, like, being the first known non-binary person, I think that’s so important you said that, because there could be other non-binary people who are questioning, trans people who aren’t fully out yet. And for me, being able to be fully out, hopefully can serve as representation for other people to embrace who they are and step into themselves.”
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