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Sunday, March 31
· Recap of the Week – “LEGO head mugshots,” Trump publicly trades Truth Social
o Great summation of right-wing news outlets linking everything and everything to the Francis Scott Key Bridge collapse – “Are these two events related? Experts say ‘no,’ but if given enough time, morons can find the path to ‘maybe.’”
o A police department got hit with a cease-and-desist after posting people’s mugshots with LEGO heads superimposed over their faces. One officer said they did it to increase their engagement on the department’s socials – “But that’s not the police’s job at all! There is a reason they have mottos like ‘To Protect and Serve’ and not ‘To Protect, Serve, and Get to 1,000,000 Followers—Please Hit Like and Subscribe.’”
o Spot-on description of Trump hawking his latest grifts – “That is a man who talks nonstop about how he’s one of the richest men on Earth, begging strangers for money in a hostage video that looks like it was filmed in a house haunted by the world’s tackiest ghosts.”
o After discussing Trump sneakers, John pulled a, “And the reason I know that is—”, lifting his foot up from behind the desk – When he was clearly not wearing Trump sneakers, he added, “—No way, I’m not a fucking idiot!”
o Loved this line about Truth Social’s branding – “And ads are called ‘sponsored truths,’ which is just a deeply dystopian phrase. It sounds like something that George Orwell typed into the first draft of 1984 before thinking, ‘That’s a little on-the-nose.’”
o The huge spike in Truth Social’s value when it hit the market has been compared to the GameStop movement from a few years ago – “But the GameStop movement was at least nominally about wresting financial power away from shitty rich assholes and restoring it to the little guy. Whereas this movement is about funneling the little guy’s money directly to the shittiest rich asshole there is!”
o Why yes, there was a MAGA supporter who hyped up Truth Social with an image of an erection that was also a bald eagle – “Truth Social is kind of like a penis, in that a lot of sad men on the internet spend their time lying about how big it is and what it can do for you.”
o Excellent point – “This year more than ever, everything Trump does is going to be a cash grab. This year has brought one of the few times he’s actually been asked to pay the price for his actions, but already, he’s got other people footing the bill.”
· And Now This – Garth Brooks’ Facebook Videos are a Portrait of a Very Strange Man
o Lots of odd little videos – The strangest one for me was the shot of Brooks sitting beside the Target dog with a Target-branded guitar(?)
· Main Story – Food delivery apps
o The introduction involved an ad starring a lot of anthropomorphized produced and featuring the tagline, “Introducing the bottom-friendly menu from Postmates!” – “By the way, it is good to see the peach from Call Me by Your Name staying booked and busy. Gay parts should go to gay actors!”
o While the biggest food delivery app predated COVID, they exploded in popularity at the start of the pandemic – “These apps basically had the kind of pandemic-era rise that Skype absolutely thought they were in for. And what the hell happened, Skype? You had it and you lost it! We used to use ‘Skype’ as a verb ‘to video call someone.’ You know what it means now? ‘To completely fuck up the easiest opportunity imaginable.’”
o We looked at a 2020 ad from one delivery service about how it was up to us to “save” our favorite restaurants during these unprecedented times – “Wow, that hits all the hallmarks of every pandemic-era ad! Soft twinkly piano music? Check. An eclectic cross-section of races, ages, ethnicities, and genders? Check. A vague threat that if you don’t participate in capitalism the things we hold near and dear will be destroyed? Checkity check!”
o This bit about the old days of food delivery made me laugh – “And then—trigger warning for anyone under 30—you’d make a phone call to a restaurant.”
o But of course, there are numerous ways that apps like GrubHub and DoorDash are disadvantaging the restaurants they deliver for – Their fees/commissions can cost restaurants up to half of their earnings on an order.
o Not to mention the exploitation faced by drivers – “The truth is, for many of those engaged in gig work, it’s not a side job for them. It’s their main source of income. And that can be a real problem when you realize that delivery apps classify their workers as independent contractors.”
o Food delivery apps have drivers traveling unreasonable distances, sometimes in dangerous conditions – After looking at a clip of a delivery worker trying to bike through flood waters, John said, “By the way, don’t do that! If you see a flash flood warning pop up on your phone and immediately open Grubhub, sorry! You don’t get to go to Heaven. That was the test, and you failed it.”
o John pointed out that, now that food delivery apps have undercut existing markets with unsustainably low prices, they’ve reached the consolidation phase that often prefaces jacking up prices once the competition is gone – “Grubhub and DoorDash alone comprise more than 20 companies that once competed with one another.”
o One man called food delivery apps a “millennial lifestyle subsidy” – John said, “Personally, I find it a little hard to get mad at millennials getting some sort of subsidy in life. After all, this is a group who will never be able to afford a house, is drowning in student debt, and can’t even enjoy Harry Potter anymore! You can’t spell ‘millennial’ without three massive L’s.”
· And Now This – Stuart Varney’s Favorite Person is Exactly Who You Think It Is
o Yep, I guessed it correctly, though it was impressive just how doe-eyed Varney’s praise was – I laughed out loud at him sighing, “Oh, if only Lady Thatcher was still around!”
o One guest mentioned that Thatcher was “was one tough negotiator,” and Varney immediately responded, “Wasn’t she just? What a lady!”
Monday, April 1
· Headlines – News reacts to violent Trump repost video, the future of AI
o After Trump reposted a video of a truck airbrushed to look like Biden was hogtied in the back of the pickup, John wasn’t impressed with news outlets opting not to air the “disturbing” footage – “Aren’t you the same networks that show reruns of 9/11 every year?”
o This led into the larger story on AI – We heard views on it from tech companies, including Google’s Sundar Pichai, who said, “AI is the most profound technology that society is working on, more profound than fire or electricity.”
o While the tech entrepreneurs have sold the limitless possibilities for AI to solve humanity’s crises, right now it does a lot of novelty tricks, like announcing when toast is ready – “See, here’s the thing: toast, I can make. I can make toast! It might be the only technology we have that works pretty much every time. I’ll tell you what, why don’t you get to work on curing the diseases and the climate change, and we’ll hold down the fort on toast.”
o Of course, despite “reassurances” that AI is a tool for workers that doesn’t replice human labor, many corporations are prepared to do exactly that – “So AI can curse diseases and solve climate change, but that’s not exactly what companies are going to be using it for, are they?”
o John had a visceral reaction to one tech bro’s description of AI’s potential for increased productivity with fewer employees – “‘Without the tax of more people’? Ah, the people tax! Formerly referred to as employees.”
o Good line – “This is some shit you’ve got going here. AI models have hoovered up the entire sum of the human experience, that we’ve accomplished over thousands of years. And now we just hand it off to be their ‘prompt engineers’?”
o A quick montage showed us that Congress is unlikely to save it, given that many of them have little to no understanding of AI – As Sen. John Kennedy put it, “The short answer is no. The long answer is hell, no.”
o John noted that, at this point, we’re well accustomed to the promise that workers who’ve been “innovated” out of their industries can simply retrain and get better jobs – “That’s the game. Whether it’s globalization or industrialization, or now artificial intelligence, the way of life that you are accustomed to is no match for the promise of more profits and new markets.”
· Interview – FTC chair Lina Khan
o Khan succinctly laid out the FTC’s mission – “We want to make sure that the American public is not getting or coerced in the marketplace or tricked, and so we enforce the nation’s antitrust and consumer protection laws.”
o This was also an excellent explanation – “We really focus on, how are companies behaving? Are they behaving in ways that could harm their customers, harm their suppliers, harm their workers, and get away with it? And that type of ‘too big to care’-type approach is really what ends up signaling that a company has monopoly power, because they can start mistreating you, but they know you’re stuck.”
o John got a read on how/why corporations do things that they know violate these laws – “Is their game, ‘We’re gonna see how far we can push this and get away with it, and do these different things, in the hopes that we don’t run up against an entrepreneurial or crafty FTC’? Are they waiting you out?”
o They also talked about how monopolies can lead to product shortages and brought recent real-life examples such as baby formula and Adderall – Khan laughed when Jon mentioned Adderall, and at the audience’s reaction, he joked, “I see the audience has no use for baby formula, but has an interesting predilection….” This was kind of crummy, since ADHDers have been talking about how debilitating the Adderall shortage is, and in particular, that government agencies don’t seem motivated to do anything about it.
Tuesday, April 2
· Headlines – Truth Social stock tanks, Florida Supreme Court rules on six-week abortion ban, NCAA women’s tournament
o Desi was our Tuesday-Thursday host this week.
o When Truth Social first went public, its value immediately soared to around $8 billion, “which seems like a lot for a website whose business model is, ‘What if Twitter was just Nazis?’”
o This made me smile – “At this point, it just seems like Trump is trying to be in every section of the newspaper: finance, politics, style,” (a.k.a. his gold Trump sneakers,) “city crime. It’s only a matter of time until he drops a theatre review. ‘Just saw Wicked, total witch hunt!’”
o Desi found it confusing that the Florida Supreme Court upheld the state’s six-week abortion ban while also allowing citizens to vote on it this coming November – “These are some crazy mood swings. You’d better hope you’re not pregnant!”
o She was glad that Florida voters will have a chance to reverse the ban but angry that our country is in a position where they should have to – “I don’t know whether I’m happy or not. I feel like Ron DeSantis’s face.”
o Great observation – “It feels like women’s basketball is having a moment this year, and you can tell because of how much the media can’t stop talking about how they’re talking about it.”
o Hee! – “That’s right, people are excited about women’s basketball right now. They’re discovering it like it’s the first time your mom tried sushi.”
o In a recent round of NCAA women’s games, it was discovered that the three-point line was several inches closer to the hoop than regulation, but the teams went ahead and played so as not to postpone the games – “I really relate to this as a woman. It is so classic for someone else to fuck up, and we’re like, ‘Oh, the line is messed up? It’s fine! We’ll just go ahead and play four games. You can fix it later. Or not! I’m sorry!’”
o Josh reported on this three-point line error – “Well, Desi, I talked to the director of court maintenance who made the mistake, as well as several other men who were just around, and we all agree that your length being a few inches shorter than everyone was expecting is no big deal. No story here! Back to you.”
o He got a little defensive when Desi pointed out that women can really tell when a line is too short – “It’s not about the length of the line, it’s about how you play the game, okay?”
· Correspondent Piece (Michael) – “Ghost” license plate covers
o “Ghost plates” are when people partially obscure their license plate to avoid detection by traffic cameras – Michael spoke to a guy who’s made it his mission to go around and remove these obstructions so people will get ticketed.
o When Michael asked why the police aren’t doing more to crack down on ghost plates, the man replied, “The vast majority of the people I’ve caught defacing or cover their plates are cops or firefighters or court officers.”
o As Michael followed the guy on his rounds, he remarked, “In ways to actually get shit done and actually get people to respond to you, you have to be f**king annoying.”
· Interview – Rep. Colin Alldred
o Alldred is running against Ted Cruz for U.S. Senate in Texas.
o When Desi asked him about Cruz’s most “embarrassing” moment, Alldred had some good examples – “There’s the antics, you know? Right, like there’s reading Green Eggs and Ham on the Senate floor while you’re trying to take healthcare away from 40 million people. There’s stuff like that. There’s the fact that he podcasts three times a week, which is a lot for a sitting United States senator.”
o Abortion rights are an important issue for his campaign – After talking about accompanying his wife to doctor’s appointments during her pregnancy, he said, “You know, those rooms where you’re having those conversations with your doctor, they’re too small to have somebody like Ted Cruz in there with you.”
o Alldred has a background as a voting rights lawyer – “To me, there’s nothing more important than getting Texans and our fellow Americans engaged in our democracy. And in Texas, we make it way too difficult to vote.”
o Good line – “And to our young people, you wouldn’t let your grandparents pick your playlist for the next six years. Don’t let them pick your senator!”
Wednesday, April 3
· Headlines –Transgender Day of Visibility falls on Easter Sunday
o This story started with the obvious, that the Transgender Day of Visibility is always on March 31st and that, because Easter moves around every year, they just so happened to fall on the same day this year – But of course, “conservatives processed this like a child meeting the Easter Bunny: by losing their f**king minds.”
o This was a great reaction to the classic clip of Trump talking around the question of his favorite Bible verses – “Trump talks about Christianity like I sound at every book club. ‘Oh, my favorite part of the book? I’d have to say the, um, the title? And the symbolism—all the symbols! Definitely not hiding from my husband and children!’”
o Also great – “I also like how he says, ‘I can’t talk about it, it’s too personal,’ like he also has an NDA with the Bible.”
o Meanwhile, Jesse Watters’ outrage over the whole was undermined by the fact that he wasn’t sure whether Easter marked Jesus’ death or resurrection – “You know what, the Fox audience deserves a higher level of con artistry than this. Jesse Watters, if you can remember the green M&M’s entire sexual history, you can Wikipedia what Easter is!”
o However, as some of the other commentary from the controversy illustrated, this was never about Easter – “They don’t think Trans Visibility Day should be moved—they don’t think trans people should be visible at all.”
· In My Opinion (Charlamagne tha God) – DEI programs
o Charlamagne began by hearkening back to 2020, when corporations reacted to worldwide racial justice protests by making ads that their own companies didn’t live up to – “That’s right, the board of Nike was so white, they were all wearing New Balance!”
o We were treated to a montage of right-wing figures sneering about Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion programs and making up their own versions of the acronym – I thought the worst was, “DEI stands for Didn’t Earn It.”
o But for all the outrage, Charlamagne pointed out that these programs do little to actually change things at a company – “DEI training is like DARE for racism, and you all know how effective that was. I was sitting there going, ‘Oh shit, there’s a ton of fun drugs I should try! I didn’t even know about molly—thanks, Officer John!’”
o Charlamagne also noted that having a DEI program can be a mitigating factor when corporations are sued for racial discrimination – “It’s the ‘I have a Black friend’ of the legal system!”
· Interview – Actress Alison Brie
o Brie was there to talk about her new series Apples Never Fall – Her character is described in the show as “an emotional chaos sinkhole,” which is just objectively awesome.
o Nice observation – “I also think, because she’s a bit of a catastrophist, she tends to get all her mess out early on. Other characters continue to be surprised, and she’s like, ‘Eh, I’ve been there, I’m evolving now.’”
Thursday, April 4
· Headlines – New York City Marathon, Trump pushes for change to Nebraska’s electoral votes, solar eclipse
o Desi was on board with the marathon runners having to pay the city back for the lost tolls due to closing the bridge for the race – “In fact, they should pay every time they tell us they ran the marathon! Yeah, we know! It was three days ago, you can take off the silver blanket.”
o Oof, relatable – “Let’s move onto the presidential race. It’s the reason your therapist drives a Porsche.”
o Trump is pushing for Nebraska to switch its electoral votes back to the more typical winner-take-all system, instead of doling them out by district – After pointing out that this decision could cause the election to end in an electoral tie, Desi said, “And you might be wondering, what happens in that case? Well, it’s simple, really. Have you ever seen The Purge movies? It’s like that.”
o There’s a planned flight along the path of the total solar eclipse, so passengers can see it from the air – “Although, how cool to celebrate the once-in-a-lifetime event of a Delta flight taking off on time?”
o We looked at money-making ventures tied to the eclipse, from astronomical hotel prices along the path to a special Dunkin’ Donuts promotion – “I love how every civilization honors the heavens in their own way. The ancient Incans built Machu Picchu, America put an Oreo on a donut.”
o Ronny and Jordan came out to report on the anticipation for the eclipse – Ronny was surprised to receive a warm reception in Texas, saying, “It’s so nice to see America stop fighting for one day and watch the sun put on a show!”
o However, the divisiveness came roaring back when the two started arguing over which was the main attraction, the sun or the moon – Jordan told Ronny, “The sun is not why people are putting aside their differences and coming together, dipshit. They’re watching the moon cross over the sun. Unlike you, most people don’t stare at the sun all day.”
· Fake Ad – Trump Elementary
o This bit came out of Trump doing a mini history lesson on Al Capone after announcing he’d been indicted more times than the infamous mobster – He said, “Alphonse, who was a tough man. They did a movie called Scarface, check it out.”
o That led into an imagined Trump Elementary, with Trump “teaching” kids on a variety of subjects via clips from different speeches of his – For instance, the geography lesson was, “Puerto Rico is an island, sitting in the middle of the ocean. And it’s a big ocean! It’s a very big ocean.”
· Interview – Documentarians Sebastian Junger & Ken Harbaugh
o Junger and Harbaugh’s film, Against All Enemies, looks at efforts to recruit veterans to white nationalist militia groups.
o Harbaugh started by emphasizing that the overwhelming majority of veterans don’t join these extremist groups – “The ones that do, in many cases do it out of a sense of needing to recapture the camaraderie and that sense of belonging that they felt in uniform. When you take the uniform off, that goes away, almost overnight. And one of the things these groups do really, really well is recreate that by giving veterans that sense of purpose and that sense of mission.”
o Interesting observation from Junger – “The real combat veterans usually don’t have anything to prove. And I think one of the ways that the January 6th crowd is dangerous […] I would say most of the guys on January 6th, with the beards and the camo, the tactical pants, etc., etc., might’ve been in the military, but probably never saw combat. And I think that makes them extremely dangerous, because they have this sort of fantasy of themselves as a hero, along with probably some psych disorders, and that creates a very, very dangerous mix.”
o Harbaugh acknowledged that America has always had extremist groups, “but you have to go back a long ways to find a period in American history where a domestic terrorist movement has the cover of a political party. That is a new situation, where you have a former president namechecking an organization [like the Proud Boys] from behind a political cover.”
o Looking ahead to the election, Harbaugh said, “I certainly hope the person who tried to end democracy doesn’t win a second term. Even if he loses, though, I think we all know he is not going to concede.”
o Junger added, “I can’t give a good reason why there wouldn’t be violence if Trump loses. He’s all in now, right? If he doesn’t win, he’s wide open to criminal prosecution. It’s the only thing protecting him, and it shouldn’t even be protecting him, but it seems to be for the moment. So he’s got nothing to lose.”
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