Neurodivergent (Headcanon) Alley: Stede Bonnet (Our Flag Means Death)

*Stede-related spoilers.*

I told you this was coming! There’s arguably a neurodivergent reading for most of the major characters on the show—that’s just kind of how it goes with "found family of misfits" stories. But it's especially evident to me, and especially poignant, with the protagonists. We’ll start with Stede today.

(Note: personally, I think Stede and Ed both have traits of both autism and ADHD, but one is more prominent with each. For Stede, the autism definitely speaks the loudest!)

I find there’s something deeply neurodivergent about defying societal convention to do what your mind/body/soul needs you to do, because you can’t stand what you’re supposed to do a second longer, and that’s where we find Stede at the start of the series. Deeply unhappy with the life he’s “supposed” to have, he takes extreme measures to change that, having a pirate ship custom-built and running away from his world as a wealthy landowner. But even as he radically changes his life, he fills his new pirate ship with familiar, comfortable things: his favorite books, his extensive wardrobe(s), copious jars of the marmalade he loves.

First, this shows that familiarity and routine soothe him. Stede wants to change his life, but he also wants his sensory-friendly soft fabrics and comfort objects, and even as he takes to the high seas, he wants to maintain much of the day-to-day routine of his former life. But this is also an outward demonstration that he’s not being the sort of pirate he’s “supposed” to be, either. Stede idolizes famous pirates like Captain Kidd and Blackbeard, but with the Gentleman Pirate, he's creating his own vision for what he wants piracy to look like with things like his “talk it through as a crew” mantra. Again, this feels very autistic, drawing his own roadmap because he likes it better than the one that’s been laid out.

Stede doesn’t really fit in or understand the unwritten rules anywhere. He’s out of his depth as a pirate, of course, and many who meet him think he’s “soft” or an easy mark. When he goes to the Republic of Pirates of find a fence to ransom a hostage, he doesn’t realize the implications of trotting along in his white frock coat shouting, “Man for sale!”, and Lucius has to explain how it looks from the outside. When he’s stabbed, he asked, bewildered, “Did you mean to do that?” But he also didn’t fit in as a wealthy landowner—that’s part of the reason he was so unhappy. When he and Ed crash a fancy party on some aristocrats’ boat, he admits that he’s never done well at these types of social occasions. However, he fares better on the Revenge than back home in Barbados, because he’s surrounded by people who come to care about him. Even if they don’t always understand him, the crew likes him and tries to help him navigate things he isn’t always prepared for, whether that’s pointing out social cues his misses or (trying) to keep him from launching himself headfirst into a dangerous situation.

His manner can be overly blunt, and he can be awkward and try-hard in social interactions. He can be oblivious to what other people have going on, and he gets completely wrapped up in his excitement for things that nobody else cares about. But even though he’s not great with people and can fumble seemingly easy moments, Stede does long to make connections. This makes it even more special when he meets Ed, because Ed loves the quirks that everyone else thinks is odd in Stede. All the things that Stede has been mocked for his entire life, those are the things that Ed finds fascinating. The way that, despite their many differences, they’re so immediately in sync—for the first time, Stede has met someone who values him 100% for himself, who understands what he’s doing and sees the magic in that. I love that for him, and it makes me feel so warm and happy watching it.

And not for nothing, Rhys Darby, who plays Stede, is neurodivergent himself! He’s said that he doesn’t have a diagnosis but thinks he’s likely ADHD and “spectrumy.” I think that really adds to what he brings to the character and is an important part of what makes Stede so lovable to me.