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Sunday, February 26
· Recap of the Week – East Palestine train derailment, James O’Keefe removed from Project Veritas
o I loved John’s reaction to a Fox News anchor noting that, while Erin Brockovich came to East Palestine, “where’s Julia Roberts?” – “What? What are you talking about? You do realize Julia Roberts is an actor, right? She was pretending. She’s not actually Erin Brockovich.”
o Steve Bannon referred to James O’Keefe, founder of Project Veritas, as a “national treasure” – “Strong words there from the Ghost of Christmas Been-Dead-for-Three-Weeks. But I have to disagree. The only national treasures in this country are Dolly Parton, Pedro Pascal, and Cocaine Bear.”
o In addition to allegations that he’s used donation funds for private expenses, there’s evidence that O’Keefe was verbally abusive to staff – “The memo even included the line, ‘Rule #1: You can’t spit in an employee’s face over a tweet.’ And how many times has that happened if it’s rule #1? ‘Cause in our office, rule #1 is, ‘Don’t give Mr. Nutterbutter cocaine,’ and that happened three times before anyone thought to write it down.”
o The gift of this story, though, was O’Keefe’s devotion to singing and dancing in public, such as when he led an “all-canceled” cast of Oklahoma! – “I don’t know what the saddest part of that is, the fact that he sings like Cousin Greg from Succession, or that no one in that crowd is into it.”
o We also saw a clip from a scrapped Las Vegas dance show based on his life, in which he and a group dressed in choir robes danced to “Gangster’s Paradise” while an actor playing his younger self prayed in the forefront – “ ‘Gangster’s Paradise’? That is a bold choice. I’m not saying that performance killed Coolio, but it definitely didn’t help.”
· And Now This – Mike Huckabee’s TV show
o Some of the touted guests in this montage of ads for Huckabee’s show included, “Lee Strobel makes the case for Heaven,” “Rudy Giuliani remembers 9/11,” and multiple illusionists, including a “digital illusionist.”
· Main Story – Artificial intelligence
o The introductory clip to the story, showing a practice therapy session with an A.I. robot, had to be seen to be believed – “That robot is teaching therapists a very important skill there, and that is not laughing at whatever you are told in the room. I don’t care if a decapitated CPR mannequin haunted by the ghost of Ed Harris just told you that he doesn’t like taking the bus, side note—is gay. You keep your therapy face on like a fucking professional!”
o We looked at all the people tinkering with ChatGPT and testing out what it can do, quickly getting into less-than-honest ways it could be used – “As high school students have learned, if ChatGPT can write news copy, it can probably do your homework for you.”
o Speaking of less than honest, it came out that Vanderbilt University used ChatGPT to write a “consoling email” to students after the mass shooting at Michigan State University.
o I thought the story was decently well-rounded, not going full, “Welcome to the future!” or “Beware the machine uprising!” – As John put in, “The potential and the peril here [with A.I.] are huge.”
o One such peril was the fact that “at least three-quarters of all resumés submitted for jobs in the U.S. are read by algorithms,” then sifted down, with an actual human only reading the applications the A.I. deemed worthy – John decided to embrace this, saying, “My resumé’s going to include this hot, hot photo of a seminude computer. Just a little something to sweeten the pot for the filthy little algorithm that’s reading it.”
o We looked at one expert who predicted that, when it comes to A.I., automation will result in workers working alongside A.I.s more often than they’re replaced by them – “Exactly. Lawyers might end up working with A.I. rather than being replaced by it. So don’t be surprised when you see ads one day for the law firm of Cellino & 1101011.”
o I loved John’s take of the CEO of A.I. art generator Midjourney – “I’m not really surprised that he’s got such a relaxed view of theft, as he’s dressed like the final boss of gentrification. He looks like hipster Willy Wonka answering a question on whether importing Oompa Loompas makes him a slave owner. ‘Yeah, yeah, I think I might be.’”
o And then of course, there’s the bias. While algorithms generally aren’t explicitly programmed to be biased, the end result is the same when the data that they learn from is – “Clearly, exactly what data computers are fed and what outcomes they are trained to prioritize matter tremendously.”
o Case in point: A.I. chatbot Tay, who was spewing misogyny and Holocaust denial after just 24 hours on Twitter – “She completed the entire lifecycle of your high school friends on Facebook in just a fraction of the time.”
o This was a great line – “The problem with A.I. right now isn’t that it’s smart. It’s that it’s stupid in ways that we can’t always predict.”
Monday, February 27
This week’s guest host is Hasan Minhaj! He observed, “I worked here for five years just so I could substitute teach for a week.”
· Headlines – Dilbert creator Scott Adams goes on racist tirade, Department of Energy releases report on COVID origins
o Hasan was surprised, not necessarily by Scott Adams’ anti-Black rant itself, but by just how long he kept digger himself deeper and deeper – “Kanye heard this and was like, ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa, my brother. Pace yourself.’”
o This was a great point – “I’ve noticed one thing about a certain type of rich person. When they don’t have problems of their own, they have to just make up problems just to make their lives interesting. Right? They’re just, like, sitting at home in the jacuzzi like, ‘What if I tweet about trans high school swimmers?’”
o Hasan added, “I guarantee you, J.K. Rowling had zero opinions about trans people when she was on welfare.”
o As people have gone into a frenzy online over the Department of Energy “concluding” the COVID origin lab-leak theory, Hasan noted how the department characterized the report – “ ‘Low confidence’? How can you conclude something with low confidence? That’s not a conclusion. I think the word you’re looking for is…’guess.’”
o Loved this – “Now, to everybody touchdown-dancing about this, how long have you been rocking with the Department of Energy? Oh, you’ve been f**king with them since day one? Hey, what’s your second-favorite report from the Department of Energy?”
o Hasan also pointed out that numerous government departments and agencies have investigated the origins of COVID, and the Department of Energy is only the second to lean toward the lab-leak theory – “I’m holding out until the DMV chimes in, all right?”
o Hasan brought Ronny on to discuss the origins of COVID, but really, it was a between the two of them about correspondents of color being pigeonholed into certain stories – Immediately, Ronny exclaimed, “Why are you asking me, by the way? I didn’t do it! We could be talking about the debt ceiling or racist Dilbert, but of course you wanna pigeonhole the Asian guy to do the COVID story.”
o Ronny asked, “Aren’t you Asian too? You talk about it!”, but Hasan was ready for that – He said, “No, no, no, Ronny, you said it yourself. You said it right here on this show that Indians were not real Asians.” After playing a clip of Ronny saying just that in reference to Prime Minister Rishi Sunak, Hasan proclaimed, “I brought receipts, mother**ker!”
o The two bickered and trash-talked for a while, but ultimately, Hasan said, “We can’t be fighting like this, there’s white people here.”
· Field Piece (Hasan) – Hasan talks to kids
o The premise of this piece was that, in all the “culture war” debate what what’s best for kids, not many adults are actually talking to the kids themselves. So that’s what Hasan decided to do.
o One girl explained why she likes reading books about racial injustice – “It’s what’s happening in the world right now. Like, racism injustice is happening in the world right now, and these books are about racial injustice. So people need to learn about it if they want to do something about it.”
o Talking about Joe Biden led Hasan to ask, “How old is too old to be president?” One girl delicately noted, “People with dementia, they’re perfectly good people, but they’re probably not the best people to run a country, because they might not remember everything.”
o This was a nice point from Hasan’s voiceover – “What surprised me is that the kids I talked to aren’t steeped in the culture wars like the adults. They’re too busy trying to figure out how to be kids.”
· Interview – NBA player Giannis Antetokounmpo
o At the start of the interview, Hasan and Antetokounmpo joked a little about the recent Celebrity All-Star Game, which Hasan played in.
o In talking about both his NBA career and the foundation he started, Antetokounmpo emphasized the support he received from his family, especially his father – “He came from Nigeria to have a better life, and we were his legacy.”
o Hasan wrote a few “trash talk” lines about other players for Antetokounmpo to read – He got through about half of one before protesting, “Oh, I can’t say that!”
Tuesday, February 28
· Headlines – TikTok to be removed from federal devices, Supreme Court hears arguments on student loan debt case, Fox News Dominion lawsuit
o This line cracked me up – “President Joseph R. Bonerkiller thinks that China could spy on us [using TikTok]. But that’s stupid! ‘Cause they use balloons now, Joseph.”
o Hasan took umbrage at a China official didn’t have the “self-confidence” to use an app from another country – He rattled off a list demonstrating America’s extreme self-confidence. My favorite was, “We invaded the wrong country and stayed there for 20 years.”
o Hasan introduced the Supreme Court case by covering the two main schools of thought on student loan debt – When he mentioned cancelling all loans and people started cheering, he said, “Don’t do that! Just to be clear, I’m not paying your student loan debt. I’m Hasan Minhaj, I’m not Oprah.”
o Nice summation of the Fox News Dominion lawsuit – “These are voting machines made by Dominion, who no one had ever heard of until Fox put them at the center of a vast conspiracy. Fox said Dominion stole the election with these R2-D2-looking janitor carts.”
o As part of the lawsuit, Fox News hosts have been forced to turn over their text messages – “Y’all know this. There’s LinkedIn you, and then there’s iMessage you. That’s the deep dark underbelly of who you really are. And boy, oh boy, were these iMessages good.”
o Because of course, the texts were all about how “insane” guests like Sydney Powell and Rudy Giuliani were, mocking the election lies that they were treating seriously on air – “These guys are texting each other all day about bullshit Fox News is. Their group chat is basically MSNBC.”
· Field Piece (Hasan) – Smart technology
o Hasan had kind of a grumpy-uncle attitude toward smart technology – He talked to a tech reviewer who wanted to help him get his feet wet, admitting, “We’ve gotta try a whole bunch of bad ideas before we find the one or two things Hasan might like."
o He was nervous about the smart toothbrush right away – “The problem is, I just don’t want my dentist to have even more info on me. Because I haven’t been brushing the full ‘Happy Birthday.’”
o I laughed at the image of Hasan flipping off a smart printer after it made him input his Wi-Fi password.
· Interview – Actress Rebel Wilson
o Wilson shared her recent proposal photo from Disneyland, which kicked off a whole discussion about the park and, particularly, Disney Adults who’ve organized into gangs – “One of the initiations was, you had to steal the apple from the Snow White ride. And the apple kept getting stolen so many times that they had to make it a hologram. Not a physical apple anymore. But don’t ask me how I know about Disneyland gangs, because I will not say.”
o She was there to promote her new dating app, Fluid – “It’s love without labels, and to me, it’s really important, because I think sexuality is so much more nuanced and complex than just, like, labeling yourself. Like you’re a can of food or something.”
o Hasan, who didn’t have any experience with dating apps, had a variety of questions about them. When he asked about red flags on someone’s profile, Wilson immediately said, “Man holding a fish” – Hasan exclaimed, ,“Why? He loves nature!” But Wilson stood firm, saying, “No, there’s something weird about it.”
Wednesday, March 1
· Headlines – McDonald’s franchisees object to Cardi B. in new campaign, partisan arguments over East Palestine train derailment
o Good description of McDonald’s – “The only thing that’s invaded more countries than America.”
o Hasan thought there were issues on all side of the East Palestine debate, and very few people actually trying to help – After taking Republicans to task for only caring about safety regulations during a Democratic administration, he said, “Democrats, you waited three weeks, and you send Pete Buttigieg dressed like Bob the Builder?”
o Great line – “Here’s the real issue: no one should be trying to win a train derailment, okay? You had about five seconds of empathy before this whole thing turned into another partisan prize fight.”
o Loved this – “You know, you don’t always have to find a villain, because the truth is much like me: it’s not always black and white.”
o Dulcé, on the other hand, thought there was even more blame to dish out – “We gotta blame these trains. Thomas and the rest of them mother**kers, okay?”
o This was just a mini-rant from Hasan, upping his grumpy-uncle energy from the previous episode’s tech segment even more – “Twitter is the worst platform on planet Earth. It’s worse than Tinder, and Tinder gives you genital herpes, okay?”
o Nice point that, while a minority of Americans use Twitter, the media uses it as a barometer for what “everybody’s talking about” – “This is not discourse! This is three people!”
o Hasan made a show of deleted his Twitter on air and then made a Truman Show-style exit, complete with Jim Carrey’s iconic line.
· Interview – Hasan Minhaj’s daughter
o Hasan explained that his planned guest had to cancel last-minute, so instead, he talked to his 5-year-old daughter, asking about things like her favorite color/book.
o I smiled when he asked, “What does Daddy do?”, and she confidently answered, “Work.”
o It was her birthday, so Hasan had the audience sing for her at the end.
Thursday, March 2
· Headlines – Prince Andrew resists relocation, rising tooth fairy costs
o Valid – “Tonight is my last night as guest host, but as an Indian and an American, I can’t leave without shitting on the United Kingdom.”
o As Hasan explained, Prince Andrew is being moved from a 30-room mansion to a 10-room Frogmore Cottage – “First of all, I get why he’s upset, because that’s barely enough space for a teenage sex dungeon.”
o Loved this – “Why are you complaining? Your house has a name! Any house with a name is next level. My house just has a number, like a peasant.”
o Roy came on to discuss the tooth fairy story – When Hasan asked if he’s keeping up with the current $6-per-tooth average, he exclaimed, “Hell no! I did the responsible thing with my boy and told him that the tooth fairy is dead.”
o Great bit, in which Roy blamed the tooth fairy for him spending his 20s selling blood, semen, plasma, etc. – “All the tooth fairy did was teach me how to treat my body like a garage sale.”
· Long Story Short – Grifters
o Nice burn on Sam Bankman-Fried – “You obviously heard about FTX, right? The cryptocurrency exchange that lost $8 billion of investor deposits based on the reputation of this electrocuted 9-year-old.”
o Loved Hasan’s reaction to a financial pundit talking about how safe it would be to invest in FTX – “Wow, Kevin! That prediction aged so poorly, Leonardo DiCaprio just broke up with it.”
o This was the thesis of the story, and Hasan had plenty of evidence to back it up – “It’s not the golden age of grifting, because that makes it sound smart and sophisticated. The truth is, the grifters of our age are f**king morons.”
o Instead, he talked about “the golden age of dipshittery,” such as when the founder of CoinBase conducted his insider trading through texting and then, when the SEC came knocking, sent a company-wide email announcing that he had to return to India right away – “Ishan, you f**king dumbass. You’re fleeing the country; you don’t ping HR on Slack.”
o Then there were the finance bros who openly trolled about pumping and dumping, laughing with one another (again, in writing!) about how they were stealing people’s money – “Oh my god, these mouth-breathing morons snitched on themselves.”
· Interview – Venture capitalist Kevin O’Leary
o Based off of O’Leary’s reactions on Shark Tank when entrepreneurs’ numbers don’t add up, Hasan urged him to flight to Palo Alto to confront Sam Bankman-Fried with a spray bottle and a cattle prod – “Let’s take a Southwest flight tonight, layover in Chicago. It’s on me. We land SFO, my dad will pick us up.”
o Despite O’Leary’s equivocating, Hasan didn’t let him off for encouraging people to invest in scams like FTX – Finally, Hasan told him, “I think what you do is good. I think you’re entertaining on Shark Tank. When you leave that environment and give financial advice, people—regular people—potentially get hurt.”
On the whole, I thought Hasan was great. Not surprising, since I loved him as a correspondent and he already has hosting experience. I appreciated that his episodes felt like his humor, but they also didn’t feel like Patriot Act. They still felt like The Daily Show, just with more of his sensibilities.
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