A Few Thoughts on Wenwu and Xialing (Shang-Chi)

*Xialing-Wenwu-related spoilers.*

I’ve already written on the relationship between Shang-Chi and Wenwu, but I wanted to write about the Xu patriarch’s relationship with Xialing too. This won’t be a full-on Relationship Spotlight, since any discussion about these two is going to be more about their lack of relationship. So much so that the above image is the only still I could find from the movie that had both of them in it.

When Shang-Chi and Katy go to Macau to warn Xialing that the Ten Rings are coming after her, Shang-Chi is amazed to see all that his sister has accomplished in the ten years since he last saw her. She ran away from home a handful of years after he did, but while Shang-Chi laid low, Xialing started her own underground fighting ring, where she commands both power and respect. Shang-Chi wanted to get as far away from their dad as possible, living an “ordinary” life where he can’t be found, but Xialing all but puts a spotlight on herself and her achievements.

Both children’s actions are very much in response to Wenwu, albeit in different ways. Shang-Chi’s primary feeling toward his father is fear; Xialing’s is abandonment. After their mom was killed, Wenwu took Shang-Chi under his wing to mold him into the perfect assassin, but Xialing couldn’t see how Shang-Chi was suffering and how their dad was traumatizing him. She only saw how Wenwu shut her out, how she wasn’t allowed to train with “the boys” and was left on her own, watching their moves from the shadows and training herself in secret.

When Wenwu brings them all back to his compound and Katy admits how afraid she is of him, Xialing’s advice is brutally simple: “Just nod. Don’t talk. He’ll forget you’re there.” This was her childhood in a nutshell. But even as she explains, “That’s how I survived,” it’s clear that growing up outside of her father’s notice hurts her too. Upon their arrival at the compound, Wenwu triumphantly announces to his men, “My son is home!” Of Xialing (and Katy,) he just says, “Take the girls to their room.”

For the most part, the movie treats this difference in how Wenwu regards his children as originating in sexism. Xialing was barred from training with the boys. Ta Lo is different from Wenwu’s compound because men and women are trained equally. When Xialing takes over the Ten Rings in the post-credits scene, we see both men and women running drills in the courtyard. #TerroristGirlBoss?

Which, I mean, on one level, it does make sense. There are still a lot of sexist traditions and attitudes out there, in China and around the world. Not to mention, Wenwu is a thousand years old—he’s literally “from a different time.” But personally, I prefer the secondary explanation for his seeming disinterest in Xialing. This one is only mentioned once in the film, but it seems to fit so much better for me. Xialing tells Katy that she didn’t lose her dad’s love or attention until after her mom died, that Wenwu couldn’t look at Xialing without thinking of his murdered wife.

This is the one that I think tracks better on the whole. For one, we already know that Wenwu has been riddled with grief since the day Li died. Ten years later, he’s still so deep in his grief that he’s prepared to raze Ta Lo to the ground on the fantastical off-chance that she’s still alive and they’ve been hiding her from him. His head and heart is stuck in the past, in what he lost, so it makes sense that he wouldn’t be able to deal with the present-day Xialing standing in front him and looking so much like Li. And second, Wenwu fell in love with Li as she was kicking his ass. She was a serene warrior and he adored her for that. How could he love her like he did and perpetuate a tired “fighting’s for boys only!” paradigm? I don’t think I buy that.