Sunday, May 17
· Recap of the Week –
lockdown breakers, Richard Bright’s House testimony, FBI investigation into
Sen. Richard Burr
o
Great
summation, that this crisis has “career public health officials, on the record,
basically saying, ‘Shit’s fucking shit, motherfuckers’”
· And Now This – Rachael
Ray filming shows from home
· Main Story – sports in
the age of COVID-19
o
Interesting
story on the effects of shutting down sports (with the loss of hundreds of
thousands of jobs,) and people discussing/theorizing what it would take to
bring sports back
o
In
the midst of things, naturally there’s an opportunity to pivot to Adam Driver.
This time, in addition to the usual thirsty/violent pleas, John went off on a
ramble about just what his obsession with Driver might signify
o
Loved
John’s reaction to the construction of “Fight Island” to hold boxing matches –
“Is that a clever name? No. Is it the perfect name? Yes!”
o
Ugh,
of course people are planning a comeback for college sports with little regard
for the risk to the student athletes
o
Strong
point that even a “bubble league” that isolates everyone involved for the
duration of the season would likely involve a minimum of 10,000 people, and I
appreciated how John showed that Germany’s attempt to do that sort of thing
almost immediately ran into issues (and, as he pointed out, Germany has a much
better handle on COVID-19 than the U.S. does)
o
I
liked what John said about sports being an inspiration, helping people pull
together, but that resuming too soon would instead make them “a cautionary
tale”
o
Luckily,
John’s here with the save, as always! Last
Week Tonight is now sponsoring the 2020 season for Jelle’s Marble Runs,
competitive marble-racing from Norway
Sunday, May 18
· Main Story – COVID-19
and the Rent Crisis
o
Hasan’s
back! Although he was a little down on his remote-shooting setup (“Don’t think
of this as a Netflix show compromising – think of it as a YouTube video
overachieving!”), they were still able to have his usual dynamic graphics
behind him. Plus, by now, I’m so used to no live audience that it barely even
registered for me
o
We
spent the episode looking at the “perfect storm” coming our way as the mass
unemployment from COVID-19 jeopardizes people’s ability to pay their rent – “If
you’re gonna shelter-in-place, you’re kinda gonna need the shelter”
o
Great
demonstration of the “economic game of dominoes” that would result from
“cancelling rent” without any federal aid, with the landlords then being unable
to pay their mortgages/insurance/property taxes, and the states in turn losing
money for firefighters/police/etc.
o
I
was shook when Hasan said that the eviction moratoriums in the CARES Act only
cover 28% of renters, with the rest falling under a hodgepodge of state
regulations – bless the show for buying a domain name that easily leads to a
site telling people whether their building qualifies
o
Great
burn on Skype – “You had a 17-year
head start, and Zoom ate your lunch in 2 weeks!”
o
I
enjoyed the revelation that, after Wall St. and foreign dicators, Patriot Act’s greatest enemy is shredded
coconut – “How do you eat something that looks like the Pillbury Doughboy’s
pubes? (Jesus, that that [graphic] down! It’s Ramadan.)”
Monday, May 18
· Ray of Sunshine – A
Michigan priest squirting socially-distanced holy water with a water gun,
bikinis with matching face masks, one-on-one classical concerts in Germany
o
Trevor’s
reactions to the “trikinis” were funny – “Even during a pandemic, humanity is
still adapting to find a way to post thirst traps”
o
I
also laughed at the idea of chins becoming a turn-on when they’re always hidden
behind masks – “Oh yeah, baby, show me that anterior mandible!”
· Headlines – Promising
results of an early vaccine trial, Eric Trump claims the coronavirus is a
Democratic hoax, Trump fires the inspector general investigating Mike Pompeo
o
Describing
Eric Trump as “baby Voldemort” was great
o
Trevor
thought Trump’s habit of firing people with oversight of his administration was
akin to “a toddler firing their babysitter”
· Main Story – Virtual
commencement speeches
o
Obama’s
speech (“the world’s loudest subtweet”) got most of the attention – Trevor
admired the way Obama put Trump on blast without ever saying his name
o
Fantastic
impression of Karl Rove calling Obama’s speech “a political driveby” – “This
was no time for a rap battle. This was Trump’s movie, and Obama was talking
loudly during it. What a black day in American history”
o
I
also loved Trevor’s point about Fox News wringing their hands over Obama’s
“lack of decorum” when Trump “literally interrupted a pandemic briefing to
remind everyone he used to bone models”
o
Excellent
dark humor on the sketch of the coronavirus giving its own commencement speech
– “When they try to flatten your curve, just keep on climbing”
· Correspondent piece
(Jaboukie) – How the ultra-wealthy do COVID-19
o
Man,
Jaboukie was looking frazzled/unhinged in this piece, and given his likely
quarantine experience compared with the people he was talking about, it’s
understandable
o
He
brought the indignation/bafflement hard – “They’ve got a luxury bunker and an escape helicopter! I didn’t even know
that was a type of helicopter!”
· Interview – former
Secretary of State Madeleine Albright
o
I
liked the beginning, where Albright told Trevor about her “V for Victory”
broach and discussed similarities she sees between the pandemic and her
childhood in wartime England – “People had no control over where the bombs
fell. They only had control over their behavior”
o
In
discussing diplomacy, Trevor had good questions on Trump’s seeming comfort
“dismissing people who are tasked with overseeing” his administration
Tuesday, May 19
· Ray of Sunshine – Chuck
E. Cheese tries to boost delivery sales, a South Korean soccer stadium puts sex
dolls in the stands, dramatic increase in bike sales
o
So
Chuck E. Cheese changed its name on GrubHub to trick people into ordering
delivery – “This is officially the weirdest episode of Catfish ever”
o
Trevor’s
pitch for bike sales – “Bikes are like a Pelaton that lets you ride away from your husband who’s telling you
to lose weight”
· Headlines – France
requires face masks but bans burqas and niqabs, the first virtual jury court
case, additional COVID-19 symptoms
o
France:
“the only country that lets you add your mistress to your family cell phone
plan”
o
Trevor
wasn’t happy about these new coronavirus symptoms – “Delirium, agitation, and
confusion are just symptoms of being in quarantine!”
· Main Story – Trump’s IG
firing & the reveal that he’s taking hydroxychloroquine
o
Trump’s
“explanation” for why he fired the inspector general, oof – I loved Trevor’s,
“Is it just me, or is this like the 50th time Trump has fired
someone ‘he’s never heard of?’”
o
Trevor’s
only response to Trump’s hydroxychloroquine news was, “I feel so bad for this
guy’s Secret Service”
o
I
appreciated the response to Nancy Pelosi’s jab at Trump’s weight and the jokes
that followed on social media – “Trump’s not an asshole because of what goes
into his mouth. He’s an asshole because of what comes out of his mouth”
· Correspondent piece
(Jordan) – healthcare worker counter-protests
o
Jordan
interviewed two healthcare workers who’ve been taking a stand against
anti-lockdown protesters
o
I
laughed when a nurse noted that the crowd of protesters was smaller than it was
last time and Jordan commented, “You think the reopen people are looking around
and saying, ‘Our numbers are going down – should we maybe look into that…?’”
o
I
loved the remark that these workers are fighting on two frontlines, against
both “the virus and the bullshit”
· Interview – CASA NYC
executive director Kerry Moles & former foster child Brieanna Hayes
o
Nice
interview looking at the foster care system from the professional and personal side, with Trevor
interviewing someone who works within the system along with someone who’s been
through it
o
I
appreciated Trevor asking Hayes to describe what people don’t know, or wrongly
assume, about her life and her experience
o
Hayes
also had a great answer backing up her belief that she’s become successful because of her experiences in the foster
care system – “Am I gonna stay mad about it? Am I gonna stay stagnant or am I
gonna be better than the situation I’m in?”
Wednesday, May 20
· Ray of Sunshine – A
jazz serenade for New Orleans healthcare workers, a British WWII vet knighted
for raising millions for the NHS, a scientific discovery that the news is
calling possible evidence of a parallel universe
o
I
liked the bit about surgeons in New Orleans overhearing the jazz music and
being powerless to keep from dancing in the OR
o
The
British veteran raised 40 million dollars doing a “charity walk” of laps in his
backyard – as Trevor put it, proof that “people in every country around the
world are desperate for sports right now”
o
At
first, the notion of a parallel universe where time moves backwards seems great
– no COVID-19, no Trump, Obama’s back – but all of the sudden, it’s, “Oh shit,
now slavery is back! I didn’t think this through!”
· Headlines – Allegations
that Mike Pompeo misused taxpayer money, Trump threatens to withhold state
election funds over voting by mail, Georgia’s COVID-19 case data may have been
manipulated to support reopening decision
o
Nothing
makes Trump madder than “showing him that shirtless photo of Obama and giving
people access to mail-in voting”
o
Great
fake ad for a “coronavirus edition” of Excel that manipulates case numbers
however you want it to – “Data doesn’t lie, but now you can!”
· Main Story – The debate
over face masks
o
Trevor
thought the face mask study using hamsters should’ve been conducted with tiny
masks on the hamsters instead of regular-sized masks draped over the cages –
“For a bunch of virologists, you guy don’t know shit about going viral!”
o
Another
great impression of a so-called “anti-masker” – “‘I’m not a sheep, I’m free! I
don’t want a car with brakes!’ Yeah, but the rest of us don’t want your free
ass coming through our windshield!”
· Interview – Activist
Jose Antonio Vargas
o
Really
strong points about how many undocumented immigrants that the U.S. treats like
criminals/disposable are working in essential industries right now
o
Vargas
promoted “Immigrad,” an online graduation event celebrating the achievements of
immigrants and first-generation kids that are graduating this spring
· Interview – NBA player
Chris Paul
o
At
the start of the interview, Trevor noted that Paul is president of the NBA
Players Union, so part of his role right now involves discussing strategies for
bringing basketball back safely
o
Paul
is beginning a documentary about how COVID-19 has affected the NBA – Trevor
recalled how the suspension of the NBA season, for many people, was the moment
things began to get real in the pandemic
Thursday, May 21
· Ray of Headlines –
Study on cannabis and COVID-19, Las Vegas prepares for reopening, Mike Pence
restaurant appearance
o
I
loved Trevor calling weed, among other things, “jazz spinach”
o
Good
comment wondering who needs gambling right now when we take “the ultimate bet”
every time we step into Whole Foods
o
Mike
Pence: “the guy who covers his eyes when Simba and Nala kiss”
· Headlines – Flooding in
Michigan, Lori Loughlin pleads guilty in college admission scandal, around half
the Twitter accounts spreading coronavirus misinformation are bots
o
With
the dams breaking in Michigan, Trevor noted that Trump’s years-long promises to
improve infrastructure hasn’t resulted into building anything but the border
wall – the solution? Tell Trump that “Mexicans are hiding in the water” in
Michigan
o
Ah,
Lori Loughlin, “yet another famous rich white lady getting sucked into the
prison system – you hate to see it”
· Main Story – Teaching
amid the pandemic
o
It
was neat to see some of the creative ways teachers have tried to keep remote
classes engaging, like the teacher who rewards his students’ efforts by doing
online challenges
o
Fun
impression of kids seeing their teachers outside of school (this was in
reference to teachers biking to students’ houses for socially-distanced pop
quizzes, but the impression was the more usual, non-pandemic scenario) – “Mr.
Donaldson, what are you doing at the mall? Why are you holding that lady’s
hand? Where’s your blackboard? Are you living a secret life?”
o
I
liked the fake ad for “Zoomstitutes,” offering the same services as regular
subs over Zoom – my favorites were Roy as the “inspirational inner-city
substitute” and Michael as the “stuck-in-the-past substitute” still obsessing
over the tennis championship he lost in 2005
· Correspondent Piece
(Michael) – Interview with a Florida man protesting beach openings by going to beaches
dressed as the Grim Reaper in black PPE
o
This
was the money quote – “Our governor is making a choice to not do the right
thing”
· Interview – actress
Taraji P. Henson
o
Henson
was promoting her charitable organization to bring mental health services to underserved
communities – she and Trevor discussed their own experiences with mental health
(and the accompanying stigma in the Black community) and how quarantine has
been forcing people to reckon with their mental health in ways they’ve maybe
been able to avoid before
o
She
also showed off the “friends” she has in isolation, the mannequin heads and
hands in her home practice salon
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