Monday, July 8 – The clip-show week
started with a new volume of Fox News-related bits. For me, highlights included
Fox News’s “ride or die” attitude towards Trump (showcased in their spin of
both the shutdown ending without border-wall funding and Trump apparently
losing over a billion dollars in ten years,) the exhausting life of Fox News
viewers being told to stockpile things the Democrats are “coming for” (“It’s
like a reverse Marie Kondo – put everything in your house as long as it sparks rage!!!), and the bizarre U.S. habit of
automatically supporting anything the other party opposes (“Cow farts are the
smell of freedom!”) We also revisited Trump at a rally naming Fox News pundits
like an all-star line-up, a piece from Desi on media treatment of female
presidential candidates, Democratic disagreement over Fox News town halls, and
Steve Doocy’s unsuccessful man-on-the-street interviews re: distracted walking laws.
Tuesday, July 9 – A full night of
animal stories, which was fun (although they didn’t include the bit about the
evolution of dogs’ eyes to make us love even more.) So much good stuff, from
stoners stumbling upon a tiger in an empty house to a chimpanzee using
Instagram to a rare bird who killed its owner (the “Malcolm X” of chickens!) to
a whale who might be a Russian spy. I loved seeing the bit about gay lions in
Kenya again (“Mommy, are those lions making a baby?” “No, sweetie, they’re just
having a good time.”) Two police-pet
stories, first with a CPR-using dog and second with a sworn-in law enforcement
kitten, which featured a lot of terrific police-cat jokes from Ronny. We also
got Desi reporting on the deer problem in Staten Island, a dog trying to ditch
its owner during an RV chase, the neckties on Julian Assange’s cat, cows in
Florida “apprehending” a police suspect, and Lewis ranting about pet custody
battles in divorce cases.
Wednesday, July 10 – We’re returning to
“Best Of” specials for the correspondents, tonight getting a second volume for
Michael. Mostly longer, full segments: the show included Trump supporters’
double standards on “civility” (“He wasn’t mocking a girl with Down Syndrome
being separated from her parents! He was mocking people who think a girl with
Down Syndrome being separated from her parents is sad!”), advocating for reparations on the grounds that it will
erase white guilt, and his year-end “Best Michaels of 2018” piece. We also got
his field pieces on Space Force (as the show’s current straight white guy,
Michael takes Jordan’s old role of interviewing people outside Trump rallies)
and gun ownership in Switzerland. And of course, what would an episode on
Michael be without a montage of crass charts? My favorite remains the Stephen
Miller one that looks like a dick.
Thursday, July 11 – Volume 2 special for
Dulcé. I love her piece on Black women’s support for Joe Biden, all boiling
down to “a sneaky way” of getting “Obama back in the White House.” Other desk
pieces included firings in the administration, Black Women’s Equal Pay Day
(still love the joke that, if Kerry Washington starred in 24, they’d have to call it 39
for her character to be paid as much as Jack Bauer,) and awkward ways police
have tried to improve community relations (other than, you know, not shooting
unarmed Black people.) In the field, we got her report on the Democratic
Congressional Campaign Committee “ghosting” candidates in non-surefire-victory
districts. In addition, we had a bit on 911 calls on innocent Black people and
a great sketch with Desi about protecting reproductive rights by “incorporating”
vaginas – “Because your ‘private sector’ should stay private,” love it!
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