Sunday, November 12
·
Recap of the Week – End of the
SAG-AFTRA strike
o
John was glad that the SAG-AFTRA
strike is over, although he wasn’t sure if he even needs movies anymore – The
only thing was interested in watching now was a 17-minute video of “what I can
only describe as a hamster Gatsby living its best life.”
·
Main Story – Israel-Hamas War
o
Good joke, about everyone having
a “hot take” on the war now – “Suddenly that guy who offered you coke at a
wedding is writing thesis-long Instagram stories on a two-state solution.”
o
Also coming out with the hot takes?
TMZ – “Yeah, TMZ is now hashing out its preferred solutions for what is
happening in the Middle East, raising many questions, including, ‘What exactly is
TMZ now?’ It used to be ESPN for B-listers leaving the airport and stories like
‘This Celebrity Died and Not Even Their Family Knows Yet,’ and now they’re
doing geopolitics. Pick a lane, guys! It’s either ‘Josh Gad Spills Ice Cream on
His Dog’ or ‘Ariel Sharon’s Impact on U.S. Foreign Policy.’ You can’t have
both!”
o
Chilling statistics about the
immediate response to the October 7th Hamas attack, with Israel
dropping 6,000 bombs on Gaza in six days – “That is nearly as many as the record
number that the U.S. dropped on Afghanistan in a single year.”
o
Nothing but revulsion for the U.S.
representative who air-quoted the notion of “innocent Palestinian civilians”
and compared that statement with saying “innocent Nazi civilians” – “Okay, that
is not only disgusting, it’s also the sort of the thing that you are evidently
allowed to get away with saying on the House floor with zero repercussions
because that’s apparently where the conversation is right now.”
o
Nice bit of levity in the middle of
a heartbreaking story – “Look, we don’t have time to talk about the history of
the Middle East tonight. And I know what you’re thinking: ‘But John, are you
sure about that? Aren’t you school?’ Well, fun fact, I’m not! It just seems
like that. I’m actually technically a comedy show, I just hide it better than
most.”
o
Great point – “Look, it is true that
Gazans did at one point elect Hamas, but if you think that makes them all
complicit in war crimes their government commits, then boy, do I have bad news
for you about decades of U.S. policy.”
o
Meanwhile, John had this to say on
Benjamin Netanyahu – “Here in the U.S., discussion of the current conflict
sometimes conflates the current Israeli government with Israel as a whole, as
if the two are entirely representative of each other.”
o
Great point about how Netanyahu’s
government has used Hamas to delegitimize the Palestinian Authority – “Netanyahu
took the risk of betting that he could control Hamas and use them to his own
ends, and he was horribly wrong about that.”
o
One Doctors Without Borders doctor
shared the brutal acronym WCNSF – “Wounded Child, No Surviving Family should
not exist as an acronym.”
o
I loved John’s response to a group
of children in a refugee camp being interviewed about the war – “It should be
impossible to watch those kids and not be shattered. There is a natural human
impulse to protect children, to grab a toddler you don’t know if they’re
running into traffic. And if that impulse is broken or disincentivized by a
government, there is absolutely a humanitarian crisis, no matter what any
asshole has to say about it.”
o
We watched a clip of Justin Trudeau
stumbling not to say ‘ceasefire,’ calling for a ‘pause’ instead – “Wow.
He stopped himself mid-word there. He literally ordered a ceasefire on the word
‘ceasefire.’”
o
Excellent sentiment – “It has
to be possible to feel the pain in one community without denying it in another.
It has to be! That is perhaps the most necessary condition for real peace.”
o
We closed on the words of an Israeli
man who founded a peace organization to a Palestinian man after they both lost children
over the years of this conflict – “We are doomed to live here together, and we
have to choose—whether to share this land or to share the graveyard under it.”
·
And Now This – Rachel Campos-Duffy
Really, Really Needs You to Know that Her Husband was Once in Congress
o
Nothing too noteworthy here – Just
clip after clip of Fox News’s Rachel Campos-Duffy bringing up that her husband
used to be in Congress.
·
Finale – New Zealand’s Bird of the
Century contest
o
An update on the contest, with John still
enamored by the pūteketeke – “Look at the plumage involved! It was the grace of
a swan and the hair of an emo Guy Fieri.”
o
Most of this piece was on the
reaction in New Zealand to John’s campaign, with many not appreciating his
involvement – A news story that ran in New Zealand introduced him as “John
Oliver, the late-night host and former bird himself,” showing a clip from The
Lion King.
o
We saw multiple excellent comebacks
from other bird campaigns – I especially liked the billboards that said, “Dear
John, don’t disrupt the pecking order.”
o
Meanwhile a New Zealand sports team
put up a billboard that said, “The Only Bird Worse than the Pūteketeke is Zazu”
– John admitted it was a good burn but said, “Here’s the thing, the joke is on
you. You photoshopped my face onto Cartoon Zazu. I’m not that one! I’m not the
fun one. I’m the terrifying one that puts Pride Rock smack in the middle of the
Uncanny Valley!”
o
John responded more seriously to one
woman who said that he didn’t like New Zealand, since he frequently makes fun
of them – “It’s not because I don’t like you. It’s because I fucking love
you! New Zealand, you are so good at not just talking shit but taking it
with remarkable good humor. I talk about you so much because you are the most
fascinating country on Earth!”
Another repeat guest host, Leslie Jones. She announced,
“Last time I hosted the show, I solved all of America’s problems, but then
y’all f**ked it up again!”
Monday, November 13
·
Headlines – Tim Scott drops out of the
presidential race, Trump’s violent propaganda speech, DOJ busts high-end
brothel network
o
Leslie was amused that the press
finally saw Tim Scott’s girlfriend and now he’s dropping out of the race – “I
bet he was like, ‘Well, I fell short, but at least we got each other, baby.
…Baby? Where did you go, baby?’”
o
This cracked me up hard – “Hopefully
they haven’t been dating too long, because you know Connecticut has a two-week
return on white women. Don’t take the tags off, Tim!”
o
In an interview clip where Trump
talked about retaliating against his enemies with a second term, Leslie, like
me, picked up on him saying “the genie’s out of the box” – “How you gonna trust
a genie in a box? If a genie can’t afford a lamp, he definitely can’t
afford three wishes!”
o
But of course, he did say
he’d retaliate against his enemies, and also gave a campaign speech where he
talked about rooting out all the “vermin” in America – Leslie was beside
herself, stammering, “He—he is the leading—can you believe, he is the leading
candidate? What the f**k, America? How did y’all let this happen?”
o
The story about the brothel bust
included some gross details – “Did he just say ‘menu’? You mean these
mother**kers are ordering sex like they at Chili’s?”
o
Leslie’s impression of these
high-end brothel clients, however, was great – “You know, if I order a blowj*b
for the table, would you guys like to share? I’m trying to watch my penis.”
·
Fake Ad – Leslie at your
Thanksgiving
o
This was a fun bit, where people can
pay Leslie for the service of coming to their Thanksgiving dinner and shutting
down anyone who tries to get too political.
o
My favorite was when she popped into
frame behind a teen boy and menacingly said, “Try that MAGA shit. Try it. And
I’ll tell everybody in this room that you use Nana’s Wi-Fi to jack off.”
·
Interview – Former WNBA player Lisa
Leslie
o
Note: I’ll say “Leslie” (Jones) and
“Lisa” (Leslie) here to avoid confusion.
o
Leslie and Lisa reminisced about both
playing basketball in high school and college – Leslie “admitted,” “I don’t
think I was as good as you.”
o
Wonderfully phrased from Leslie – “I
know a lot of men have asked you this, ‘cause you know men love to ask dumbass
questions, but I know a lot of men have asked you, like, ‘Should we lower the
rim so y’all can dunk more and it can be more exciting?’ What’s your answer to
that?”
o
Lisa’s immediate answer was simply, “Shut
the f**k up” – She elaborated, saying, “My answer is no. I think the game is
amazing. If anybody has ever watched the WNBA, you already know these ladies
are playing at such a high level.”
Tuesday, November 14
·
Headlines – Supreme Court institutes
code of ethics, Sen. Markwayne Mullin tries to start fight with teamster
representative, backlash over nonbinary Broadway performers at the Macy’s
Parade
o
After fangirling over the prospect
of interviewing Steve Kornacki later in the show, I love the relish with which
Leslie yelled, “Now let’s get these headlines!”
o
Leslie couldn’t deal with Clarence
Thomas’s claim that he didn’t know that it was wrong to receive lavish gifts
from billionaires and not disclose them for decades – “You’re supposed to weigh
everything and make smart decisions. That’s why there’s a bitch with a scale
outside your office! Just ask her!”
o
Leslie had an incredibly correct
reaction to thousands of people signing a petition over two nonbinary folks
slated to perform with their Broadway casts at the Macy’s Parade – “Wait, I’m
sorry, did I miss something? Did we solve world hunger? Is war over? Is the
homeless crisis done? ‘Cause a stranger’s genitals in a parade is literally the
last thing someone should be worrying about right now.”
·
Correspondent Piece (Troy) –
Professional cuddling
o
Troy came into this piece as 1)
someone who tries to avoid human touch and 2) a skeptic on the whole idea of
professional “cuddlist” – “I have to admit, it does sound a bit scammy. Like
you’re just ripping off people who’ve never heard of a body pillow.”
o
A predictable but amusing joke –
After Troy was involved to sit in on one cuddle session, we got a serene shot
of the cuddlist and client together before we cut back to Troy, sitting in the
corner and asking, “How long does this normally…?”
·
Interview – Political correspondent Steve
Kornacki
o
Leslie’s introduction for Kornacki
was a delight – “He has gotten me through every election, he is the king of the
khakis, and he has an apartment in my heart.”
o
Kornacki told Leslie a little about
the advances in technology that helps him to do such sophisticated analysis on
election night.
Wednesday, November 15
·
Headlines – San Francisco police go
after homeless population ahead of Xi Jinping’s visit, USPS in financial
trouble, Rep. Tim Burchett accuses Kevin McCarthy of physical altercation
o
Leslie gave voice to my disgust at
Gov. Newsom’s speech explaining the crackdown on homeless people – “Did Mr.
Slick just say he’s hiding the homeless people like you throw dirty socks into
the hamper? ‘Clean your room up, China’s coming over!’ What?”
o
Leslie said, “Seriously, can we stop
picking on the post office? Why is they the only government agency we expect to
make money from?” – As an example, she added, “No one says to the firefighters,
‘Great job saving lives. But those numbers? Not great. Gonna have to
sell some more of those sexy-ass calendars.’”
o
Desi looked roughed up as she
reported from the Capitol on the Burchett-McCarthy situation – “You can’t
report on Congressional Fight Club without joining Congressional Fight Club.”
·
Host Piece – Leslie Jones Tries Not
to Lose Her Shit
o
In which Leslie tried to listen to a
news story (in this case about Robert F. Kennedy Jr.) and not start screaming –
By the skin of her teeth, she kept it together through clips about his poll
numbers, his antivaxx beliefs, and the racist/antisemitic conspiracy theories
he’s promoted.
o
What got her was the footage of RFK
Jr. coming out of an airplane in his barefeet – When we cut back to her, she
screamed, “Motherf**ker!”
o
Great line – “The only reason you
should come out of a plane bathroom barefoot is if you got robbed in
there by someone who only needs socks and shoes.”
·
Interview – Track-and-field Olympian
Allyson Felix
o
Leslie asked Felix, “When you’re running,
how do you choose how to do your hair?”, which was a nice demonstration of how
who’s asking the questions can shape the interview – Felix happily described
herself as “a braids girls.”
o
Felix also discussed starting a line
of women’s athletic shoes with her brother – This was how she learned that
athletic shoes had never even been thoughtfully designed for women,
explaining, “It’s been the mold of a man’s foot to make women’s sneakers.”
o
Leslie’s parting words for Felix
were lovely – “I have never been so tremendously proud, of your
accomplishments. Thank you so much for being the person you are and being
strong, and fighting, and just showing people you’ve gotta fight for yourself.”
We got another two-host Thursday, with Leslie tagteaming the headlines with Jordan Klepper. (As with the Michael and Ronny show, though, Jordan
wasn’t really involved beyond the first segment.) The format worked better for
me this time around—Leslie and Jordan had good comedic chemistry together.
Thursday, November 16
·
Headlines – Ethics report released on
Rep. George Santos, Biden meets with President Xi, video of Taliban soldiers on
rollerblades, Andre 3000 releases instrumental flute album
o
Nice George Santos joke from Leslie
– “When he goes to jail and they ask, ‘What are you in for?’, he’s gonna be
like ‘Everything!’”
o
Jordan had a good question about
Santos – “Why is he spending money on Botox? He’s the youngest member of
Congress by 1000 years. And you don’t get Botox; just stand next to Mitch
McConnell.”
o
China didn’t appreciate Biden
calling Xi Jinping a dictator – Jordan pointed out, “Now, I understand why
China’s mad, but in Biden’s defense, ‘dictator’ is actually the least offensive
thing I’ve heard an 80-year-old man call a Chinese dude.”
o
Leslie was baffled by the video of
Taliban soldiers patrolling on rollerblades – “What the hell is going on with
the Taliban? Are y’all making another Xanadu movie?”
o
Andre 3000’s flute album made Leslie
very angry – “This is how you know the white people have been winning.
Y’all done turned Andre 3000 into Jethro Tull!”
o
Jordan joked that “this is more of
an Andrew 3000 project.”
·
Host Piece – New Yorkers’ holiday
spirit
o
In this person-on-the-street piece,
Leslie tried to encourage New Yorkers to be kind/generous during the holidays,
by showing them pictures of politicians and forcing them to say something nice.
o
One guy needed an assist from Leslie
for something nice to say about Mike Pence – “You do not have to worry about
him f**king your girl, unless her name is Mother.”
o
Another guy looked at the picture of
Vladimir Putin riding shirtless on a horse and came up with, “Animal lover.”
o
A third didn’t want to say anything
nice about Ron DeSantis – Leslie told him, “Reach deep down, like he does into
the budget to send people to where they’re not supposed to be sent.”
·
Interview – Filmmaker/actor Taika
Waititi
o
At the start of the week, I happily
yelled, “Spanish Jackie!” when I first saw Leslie, and I knew that Waititi was
doing a bunch of press for Next Goal Wins now that the strike is over –
But somehow, I didn’t put it together that he’d be on this show and Leslie
would get to interview him.
o
Waititi seemed delighted to be there
– When he sat down, he literally bounced in his chair for a bit.
o
Unsurprisingly, they only talked
briefly about Next Goal Wins before moving on to Our Flag Means Death,
which seemed to suit both of them just fine.
o
Leslie asked, “Did you know what
beast you was creating when you made me Spanish Jackie?” – She added, “Can’t
nobody talk to me now. I want 20 husbands.”
o
I loved Waititi’s description of the
series – “It’s like Spot the Heterosexual Character in that show, which is
beautiful.”
o
Leslie praised the show for how it
portrays Ed’s journey to embrace his vulnerability – Waititi said, “When you
look at human beings in general, when people, you know, when ‘tough guys say
things like, ‘You know, never let anyone get too close, you know, not
gonna—never fall in love,’ that’s because they have a tendency to let people
get too close and wanna get close and are suckers for love.”
I’ve always liked Leslie, and her first guest hosting gig
was great. She was excellent here too, with the added post-Our Flag Means
Death bonus for me. Getting to see her interview Waititi was fantastic!
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