Favorite “Characters”: Karamo Brown (Queer Eye)

I got a little sidetracked from finishing my Favorite “Characters” posts (in quotes since they’re not actually characters) on the Fab Five, because So Much Pop Culture, Not Enough Hours in the Day. That doesn’t mean that I don’t like Karamo or Antoni, quite the contrary. It took me a little while to get back to it, but really, I’m just spreading out the Queer Eye goodness a bit more.

In both the original and rebooted versions of the show, the “culture expert” has the most difficult job of conveying the value of their expertise in a TV-friendly format. And despite having the same title, Karamo’s role on the show is very different than Jai Rodriguez’s in the original. While Karamo occasionally dips into “cultured” stuff like introducing the heroes to new experiences/more “sophisticated” activities, his focus generally lies elsewhere. For him and the new Queer Eye, “culture expert” might more accurately be termed therapist or life coach.

More than anything, Karamo’s time with the heroes is spent digging into the internal issues that are maybe manifesting more visibly in the stuff that the rest of the Fab Five helps them with. On TV, a borderline-hoarder disaster of an apartment or a wardrobe that hasn’t been updated in 15 years is both easy to display and cinematic to go about fixing. But Karamo wants to know why the hero isn’t spending time on keeping their home or appearance in order. Are they too depressed to do anything, or are they afraid of putting themselves out there? Do they spend so much time taking care of other people that they don’t leave anything for themselves (a common issue for probably the majority of the women the Fab Five have helped)? Do they need to find the confidence to take a needed first step, or do they need to resolve something in their past before they can move forward? These are the questions Karamo tries to get at.

Again, it’s difficult to show this in a 45-minute episode format (especially when Karamo is splitting his time with four other people whose expertise is all more visually-apparent than his!) Sometimes, the show boils it down to a particular action (like a hero in a wheelchair sitting down to talk with the man who shot him or a trans hero getting the gender on his ID changed,) but often, these are just conversations/sessions that Karamo has with the hero. Although the show sometimes tries to jazz these up and make them a little more dynamic, throwing in visual metaphors to symbolize what Karamo and the hero are talking about, the work that’s happening is much more internal.

And the tears, oh, how they flow! Karamo’s secondary expertise is making people cry – heroes and viewers alike – and he’s super good at it. But it’s about a lot more than just heartstring-pulling and good TV. I mean, I get that it’s a reality show, so of course that’s part of it, but it’s not just that. One thing I really adore about Queer Eye is about how, with the male heroes in particular, it regularly touches on the effects of toxic masculinity. If many female heroes have a common thread of helping everyone except themselves, many of the guys are struggling with something in silence. Whether it’s insecurity, depression, fear, or past traumas, we see so many of them telling Karamo that they don’t think they can admit these feelings, like they’re less of a man if they tell someone they’re having a hard time or ask for help. It’s an important way to show how much sexism can hurt men too, and Karamo’s work is huge in helping these guys dismantle some of that and realize it’s okay to be vulnerable.

Favorite “Characters”: Tan France (Queer Eye)

Yep, another Queer Eye post.  Tan was actually my first exposure to the Queer Eye reboot, as I saw a couple short online videos of him helping celebrities with their wardrobes (Hasan Minhaj – love that one! – and Pete Davidson.)  It was a good incentivizer to check out Queer Eye, because even though I first watched these videos for the other person in them, I immediately knew that I liked this guy.

If those promo videos weren’t enough to make me a Tan fan, he would’ve won me over in the first episode when he begrudging told the hero he could keep his ugly flannel pajamas only if he promised Tan that “no woman will ever see them.”  The clothing expert regularly has quite the time going through a hero’s closet, agog at various fashion disasters found therein and ably demonstrating when a T-shirt is torn past the point of wearability.  He has an eye for noting when heroes veer outside of age-appropriate style (both ways – he’s just as likely to say, “You’re almost 40, you shouldn’t be dressing like a college student,” as, “You’re only 35, but this looks like something my dad would wear!”), and he’s fond of asking straight male heroes how their wives/girlfriends make an effort to look good for them, then flips it around to ask what kind of effort they make.

Once he’s gotten rid of all the clothes he can’t bear, it’s shopping time, and I really love watching Tan in these scenes.  He’s very attuned to people’s insecurities about their bodies, and he’s a big advocate for helping people realize they don’t need to be a certain size in order to look/feel sexy.  His major thing – even more than printed shirts and French tucks! – is focusing on the fit of clothes and finding choices/sizes that are appropriate for the hero’s body shape.  During the initial walk-through of the hero’s home, a frequent exclamation of his is, “This looks massive on you!”, and when he gets the hero into a fitting room, Tan immediately starts to show them how wearing clothes that fit better will seem to take a good 20 pounds off them.  He has a repertoire of other satirical tricks as well, from using a busy print to take attention away from the size of someone’s belly to using a slim pant leg to make someone look taller and leaner.

Like all of the Fab Five, Tan has a talent for building people up.  As much as he gently ribs the heroes for the wardrobe they start out with, he’s filled with compliments when he takes them to try on clothes he picks out.  He not only tells them they look good, he checks in with them to make sure that that’s registering.  “Do you see how good you look?” He asks.  “Do you feel sexy?  Do you feel confident?”  I especially enjoy it when the show makes over women and he always prefaces his compliments about their figures with reminders that he’s gay and isn’t saying it in “that way.”

One more thing I like about Tan is how he tailors (clothing pun!) the shopping experiences to fit the hero’s needs.  He’s taken more than one to a a Big and Tall store, where they realize how much less demoralizing it is to shop in a place where they can find more than two things that fit them.  And when a father of six said that he got all his clothes secondhand (explaining that, if he’s going to buy new clothes, it’s going to be for the kids or his wife,) Tan brought him to Target to show him that he can still find good-looking things within his budget.  It fits into his whole emphasis on making over the hero in a way they like/that suits them rather than just making them all over the way he would want.

Further Thoughts on Queer Eye

I want to talk a little more about Queer Eye (season 4 is coming out in July, woohoo!)  There are a ton of great reasons to adore the show, some of which I’ve already gone into in my review of the series and my write-ups of different members of the Fab Five.  But today, I want to look particularly at some of what the show has taught me on a personal level.

When I was younger, I kind of prided myself on not being “girly.”  I doubt anyone would have call me a tomboy, because I’ve always been terrible at sports and have never liked video games, but I didn’t wear those disinterests like a badge of honor the way I did my disinterests in hair, makeup, clothes, etc.  Growing up, my mom and I clashed at times over what I felt was her dissatisfaction with my appearance, and as an adult, my casual style is very much T-shirt-and-jeans, with my hairstyling prowess extending no further than “put it in a ponytail” or “do nothing.”

Now, part of all this stems from the stigma society places on feminine-coded interests, and in recent years, I’ve tried to be more aware of that and examine my kneejerk reactions to things.  As I’ve gone into on the blog, even though I’m not a huge rom-com person, I’ve definitely become more open about liking the ones I like (after all, what are Jane Austen novels if not deeply-witty Regency-era rom-coms?)  With movies/TV, music, and other aspects of my life, I’ve better learned to judge things by their merits and not dismiss something just for being “girly.”  But before Queer Eye, that wasn’t something I ever really extended to my appearance.

Before I get in too much further, I want to explain something.  I’m not just thinking about appearance and femininity in terms of conventionally-feminine style.  I’m thinking about it more in terms of just time spent on/attention paid to appearance, which, as Jonathan and Tan emphasize on Queer Eye, anyone can do, but which is still viewed as a “girly” habit with the double-edged sword of being something that women a) are required to do in order to be considered desirable and yet b) will be derided for taking part in such of “frivolous”/“shallow” preoccupation.

But, again, as Tan and Jonathan (as well as the others, but Tan and Jonathan spearhead it) show the heroes on Queer Eye, spending time/attention on your appearance is not a male or female trait.  It doesn’t mean vanity or frivolousness.  It doesn’t need to conform to one particular metric of what’s beautiful or attractive.  And while it can play a role in attracting a partner or looking food for one you already have, it doesn’t need to be for anyone but yourself (as an aromantic asexual, that’s especially important for me.)

I know I’ve brought this up before, but viewing fashion and grooming through a lens of self-care was a radical reforumulation for me.  Choosing clothes that make you feel confident and enjoy the way you look, showing the world you care about yourself by keeping your skin and hair healthy.  These were big ideas for me, and they forced me to stop and think about my relationship with my clothes, my hair, and my body.  Even though I’d never spent much time doing my hair or deliberating over an outfit, that didn’t mean that I genuinely had no opinion about how I look.  I have very few pictures of me in my house, and I knew that a major factor in that was me not liking how I look in pictures.  And why?  What’s the point of that?  Why do I act like I’m proud, ultimately, of not liking how I look?  Who does that benefit?

Since watching Queer Eye, I’ve thought a lot about the show, the wonderful transformations (both internal and external) it facilitates, and the advice I’ve learned from all of the Fab Five.  But it’s Jonathan and Tan’s words/expertise that have been rattling around in my brain most of all.  Very timidly, I’ve started putting my toes in the water.  Jonathan was the person who finally convinced me that, no, I don’t need to wash my hair everyday, and I’ve been happy with the results of that.  I’ve experimented with DIY exfoliants and face masks he’s recommended, and I recruited a couple of more-experienced friends to help show me how to style my hair more professionally for work.  When I buy clothes, I think about Tan stressing the importance of fit, and I try things on to figure out whether I like the way they look on me, rather than just on the hanger.

I’ve only just started trying my hand at this stuff, and I doubt I’ll ever be as into it as much as some friends or family members of mine are.  But that’s fine.  As Queer Eye has shown me, it’s more about being deliberate in discovering what works for me.  What I like, what I don’t, what makes me feel good, what makes me feel insecure.  I know that the only times I’ve consciously thought, “This looks good on me,” they’ve involved me wearing a tie, and so I’ve realized that probably means it’s a style I ought to be leaning into.  I’m not sure what that will look like yet or where I’ll find it, but I want to learn.  I want to look put-together when I’m at work, I want to look self-assured when I’m walking down the street, and I want to look like I want to look when I’m with my loved ones.  And there’s nothing wrong with that, which is something I ought to have understood a long time ago.  Tremendous thanks to Queer Eye for helping me see it.

Favorite “Characters”: Bobby Berk (Queer Eye)

Sooner or later, I may get around to all five, but today, it’s all Bobby.  When I started watching the show, I wouldn’t have anticipated him being the second member of the Fab Five that I highlighted – not that I didn’t like him, but he didn’t make as much of an impact on me at first.  Even though I was consistently wowed by the redesigns he does of people’s homes (and occasionally, other spaces,) I didn’t have quite as much of a handle on him compared to the other guys.  His personality is a little subtler for one thing, but for another, he’s always so busy, as I’ve said, remodeling a house in 3-4 days that he often doesn’t get as much face time with the hero.   But Bobby can be something of a stealth favorite; as I got further into the series, I liked him more and more.

We’ll start with the designs, which are of course the first thing that stood out to me about him.  What Bobby does with people’s homes – or fire stations, or church community centers, or barbecue joints – is always amazing.  The transformations he pulls off are easily as dramatic as what Jonathan and Tan do with the heroes’ looks, and given the state a lot of these spaces are in when the episode starts, that’s really impressive.  Often, when we get that big reveal, it looks like a completely different space, even if his actual changes aren’t as extensive as they first appear (for example, he’s a fan of updating old furniture by painting it and replacing the hardware, making it look like a brand-new, different piece.)  He has an eye for what people need, emphasizing organization and function while still looking really stylish and homey.  I like the little specific notes he brings, like taking care to use cordless blinds for a family with small children or giving the fire station kitchen three refrigerators so each shift can have their own space.

While Bobby has certain preferences and techniques that tend to crop up in a lot of his remodels, he does a ton of individualization in each design, maybe more so than any other member of the Fab Five.  He incorporates whatever means a lot to the hero and/or their family, prominently displaying cherished family photos, important mementos, or stylish nods to their hobbies.  As the show is fond of saying, Bobby creates designs that resonate with who the hero is but gives them an “elevated” version of what they already have.  And just on a side note, we don’t usually see too many scenes of him at work (the better to facilitate that “wow” moment when the hero sees the design for the first time,) but I do enjoy the little snippets we get of Bobby supervising the renovations, and I love that we see him working with female contractors.

As busy as he always is, we do occasionally see him one-on-one with the hero.  There are shopping trips here and there for furniture/decor/etc., and I always like when he enlists the hero to help him with a particular project.  It helps them feel like more of a participant in the remodel, and importantly, it helps them see that they are capable of making or setting up something that looks really nice.  With all of the Fab Five, it’s not about just coming in and fixing everything for the heroes – it’s about showing them tools they can use to maintain it for themselves after the Fab Five leaves, and Bobby gets in on that action, particularly when he recognizes how the hero’s home is manifesting issues they might have (like a graveyard of half-completed projects or one hero’s reluctance to finish packing up his late wife’s things.)

When it comes to connecting with the heroes, Bobby really steps up whenever someone’s experiences resonate with his own.  Not that he can’t connect with those he has less in common with, obviously, but he’s been through some heavy things in his life, and when the hero has gone or is going through something similar, he brings a lot of empathy and understanding to their experience.  He relates deeply to issues surrounding adoption, he knows exactly how it feels to be rejected by his family for being gay, and he’s experienced homelessness.  Several of the heroes have been in similar situations, and in particular, they’re often younger ones for whom it’s all much more recent; Bobby understands where they’re coming from because he’s been in the same place, and what’s more, he can stand as an example of someone who’s gotten through those hardships and come out on the other side a well-adjusted adult with a successful career and loving friends/family.

Another key issue for Bobby is religion, and there have been a few times when he’s gotten real with a hero over their beliefs about homosexuality and his own experience being turned on by his Christian community growing up.  I think many people with intolerant views are able to maintain them in large part because they think of LGBTQ people in the abstract – easier to condemn and/or dehumanize them when they don’t know anyone who’s gay (that they’re aware of, anyway!)  The more someone like that has to reckon with a gay person as an actual human being with goals, desires, and hearts just like theirs, the more irreconcilable those beliefs hopefully become, and Bobby isn’t afraid to broach those difficult subjects with people.