Neurodivergent (Headcanon) Alley: Ria Khan (Polite Society)

*Spoilers.*

I love this movie, in no small part because I adore Ria. She’s extra and obsessive and dramatic, and I love her so much. And of course, a heaping portion of that love comes from what I see as neurodivergent coding. If you gave me an autistic argument for Ria, I could probably buy that too, but for my money, this girl radiates ADHD.

(Also, before I get started, a quick side note: I've realized that, as I've gotten into Neurodivergent Alley, Big ND Energy shows/films I've watched in the last show haven't gotten much in the way of Favorite Characters posts. I've written multiple Neurodivergent Alley posts about Lessons in Chemistry, DuckTales, Nope, etc., but no Favorite Characters. In case it's not clear by how lovingly I write these, a Neurodivergent Alley post basically doubles as a Favorite Characters post.)

Ria is all in on her goals. At the start of the movie, this means her dream to become a stuntwoman. It doesn’t matter to her that she’s small, that it’s an “unrealistic” career goal, or that people make fun of her for it. This is one area where her eyes are fully on the prize. She’ll practice her super-special flying spin kick for hours, no matter how many times she falls, and she’ll repeatedly email her stuntwoman idol, not just to ask about a work experience opportunity, but to engage in a one-sided dialogue about the issues in her personal life.

This dream causes the people around Ria to assume that she’s unserious and unfocused. Even though she is in fact hyperfocused on what she wants, this leads her to appear like she’s dropping the ball in other areas. When the family goes to a hoity-toity Eid soiree, she gets bored and wanders around the house. She accepts fights she’s absolutely not equipped to win at school, and she has some ill-advised words for her teacher when her work experience proposal is rejected. Because she views her life like an action film, she occasionally appears to freeze up in reaction to things—she doesn’t respond because she’s caught up in the tense soundtrack and dramatic slow-mo playing out in her head.

Ria gets herself into a lot of trouble socially, not so much because she doesn’t understand social situations, but because she feels incredibly strongly about things and often expresses herself in ways that are viewed as “inappropriate.” This often comes from her intense focus on things that most people don’t care about like she does. Again, she doesn’t think twice about mouthing off to a bully who’s considerably bigger than she is, and she swears in front of her teachers and her parents. She decides that the best way to get her sister Lena to help her with her training is by yelling, “Please!” over and over while she tries to pull Lena off the bed by her legs. When she gets a new goal—stopping Lena’s wedding to Salim at all costs—she goes in on it so hard that she alienates her friends.

That brings us to Ria’s recklessness and impulsivity, because she has heaps of both. In some areas, she’s incredibly detail-oriented, coming up with a multi-part plan to take down Salim and help Lena “snap out of” her inclination to give up on her artistic dreams. But even as Ria makes these plans, she’s still often being led by her gut. Yep, she’ll disguise herself as a guy to swipe Salim’s laptop out of the men’s locker room at the gym. Sure, she’ll break into Salim’s house in the hopes of planting evidence of infidelity. Yeah, she’ll volunteer to be chloroformed to make sure it's safe before she tries it on Lena. Just another day in the life of Ria Khan!

She’s creative, driven, and passionate. She’s impulsive, rude, and stubborn. She’s protective, tough, and sensitive. She’s absolutely amazing, and I love her.

Big Neurodivergent Energy Films: 1-5

We’ve looked at a few Big Neurodivergent Energy TV shows, now how about some movies? Most of the films on today’s list are newer entries that I’ve watched in the last year, but they quickly joined the ranks of my favorites. 

 

Amélie

This was an early “grown-up” film that I really loved, so it makes sense that it has exceedingly autistic vibes. Arguably, every Jean-Pierre Jeunet film does, but this one does it in such an endearing, lovable way. From the narrator fastidiously detailing every character’s likes and dislikes (and obsessions,) to the painfully shy heroine concocting “stratagems” to connect with the man she likes, to Amélie’s deep-seated desire to help others/punish injustice combined with her intense need not to be perceived doing either, it just feels so lovingly autistic. Amazing!

 

The Little Mermaid

Yes, I’m specifically talking about the live-action adaptation here, although points can definitely be made for the animated version. While the neurodivergent coding may not be quite as deep-seated here as it is in some of the other films on this list, it was one of the first—maybe the first—I saw once I’d really started considering the possibility that I was autistic and ADHD. And Ariel and Eric both leapt off the screen for me. I love the tenor of their relationship, how it develops through their special interests and grows without the need for verbal communication on both sides. Seeing people online talk about how neurodivergent both of these characters are really helped crystalize my understanding of myself.

 

Nimona

Nimona is definitely an example where the film itself feels autistic/ADHD, not just the characters. I love the fast-paced humor and frenetic action combined with the emotional character drama and the found-family themes. I love Nimona’s explanation to Ballister about what shapeshifting feels like—the trans allegory is evident, of course, but I also see it as a commentary on masking and the importance of giving yourself permission to be “free.”

 

Nope

I love both OJ and Em, how their traits are so different from one another and clash so much, but how they both come through for each other the best they can. And I love how their respective traits end up helping them succeed—not in an “autism/ADHD is actually a superpower!” kind of way, but in a way that their particular situation dovetails so well with OJ’s special interest and Em’s penchant for collecting hobbies. Their respective autistic- and ADHD-coded traits can create challenges for them professionally and interpersonally, but when it comes to a UFO over their ranch, they lock in!

 

Polite Society

Oh my god, I love it so much. Ria’s hyperfocus and daydreaming, the way she infuses her life with the tension and drama of an action film, the general energy and humor and pacing and secondhand embarrassment. It’s so ADHD to me—I feel it in my bones.

Polite Society (2023, PG-13)

I didn’t get a chance to see this one when it was in theaters, so it was one I periodically searched for until it finally came up on streaming services. I finally had a chance to see it on Amazon Prime, and it’s fantastic!

Ria dreams of becoming a stuntwoman, but no one seems to believe in her except her older sister Lena. But when Lena starts dating a too-good-to-be-true rich guy and dating quickly turns to engagement, Ria smells trouble; she takes it upon herself to rescue Lena from the handsome, charming Salim.

This is the feature debut for writer/director Nida Manzoor, who created the excellent We Are Lady Parts, and Polite Society sizzles from start to finish. I love following Ria as a driven, imaginative, contrary protagonist. She views her life like the action films she longs to be a part of, and a number of scenes blur the lines between reality and martial-arts-laced fantasy sequences. The movie keeps you guessing as to whether things are really as she sees them. Have Salim and his mom gotten their hooks into Lena for some nefarious purpose and only Ria can save her? Or is Ria just searching for an excuse to keep her sister from moving on without her? Further complicating things is that Lena is on a “break” from art school and not sure if she’s going to go back—if Lena gives up on her dream, what does that say about Ria’s?

I just can’t say enough great things about this movie. The action is super cool while also offering up some fight choreography tinged with humor. In addition to the well-versed-in-tropes fight scenes, I love how it’s emphasized in further ways that Ria treats her life like a film—to that end, the score is used to especially good effect. The film is so funny, with tons of great banter that’s rooted in the specificity of the characters, and it brings out even more humor through its editing and soundtrack. Amid all the action and jokes, it also has some heartfelt things to say about family, growing up, and dreams.

Priya Kansara is wonderful as Ria—she’s funny, badass, and surly, and the story knows just when to let us glimpse behind her tough exterior and show us her vulnerabilities. Ritu Arya (who I recognize from Doctor Who’s “Fugitive of the Judoon”) does a nice job as Lena. I enjoy that, while she’s the object of Ria’s “mission,” Lena herself takes an active role and has her own perspective in the story. The two actresses have simply glorious sibling chemistry together and knock it out of the park in their shared scenes.

The rest of the cast is topnotch as well. I like the nuance we see with Shobu Kapoor and Jeff Mirza as Ria and Lena’s parents—they love their daughters and want what’s best for them, but they don’t always go about that in the way the girls need. Akshay Khanna is effective as Salim, Lena’s dreamboat guy and Ria’s worst nightmare, and Nimra Buchra (who recently played Najma on Ms. Marvel) is great as Salim’s very involved mother. Rounding out the cast are Shona Babayemi as a bully at Ria’s school and Seraphina Beh and Ella Bruccoleri (Sister Frances from Call the Midwife!) as Ria’s friends, a couple of goofy besties who are up for all kinds of shenanigans but are still willing to confront Ria when they think she’s going too far.

Warnings

Violence, language, sexual references (including brief nudity,) drinking, and thematic elements.