Relationship Spotlight: Kara Zor-El, Alex Danvers & J’onn J’onnz (Supergirl)

It seems like, on this blog, a reoccurring adage is, “When in doubt, write about a character/relationship on Supergirl!” Because even though I recognize that the show can be silly and the writing can be heavyhanded, I continue to love it pretty wholeheartedly, and a major component of that is my love for so many of the characters and the relationships between them. I’ve already written about Kara and Alex as the major heart of the series, but I want to circle back around and look at the dynamic of adding J’onn into the mix (some spoilers, including from the most recent season 5 episode, “In Plain Sight.”)

It’s wild to stop and think that J’onn, under the guise of DEO head Hank Henshaw, is initially brusque and short with Supergirl, and that Kara and Alex go through a period of thinking J’onn is shady before he reveals his true identity to them, a Green Martian who fled the genocide of his people 300 years ago. Because looking at them now, you’d never think there was ever a time when these three didn’t love each other.

Alex and Kara may be adopted sisters, but in a way, J’onn is the man these two fatherless young women have chosen to adopt as their father. The series features so many warm, loving moments that show how J’onn cares for both Kara and Alex. He and Alex have had numerous heart-to-hearts at the DEO about Alex’s career goals, her personal heartaches, and her moments of self-doubt, and he encourages and champions her every step of the way. He and Kara relate to another one as aliens on Earth, both from races that have been all but wiped out, and he gives her support and advice on her hero’s journey.

J’onn is definitely like a surrogate father to Kara and Alex, but the fact that they don’t meet until all three are adults help Kara and Alex simultaneously approach J’onn more as equals. Just as they come to him when they need a sounding board or an empathetic ear, they’re there for him to lean on when he has troubles of his own. That can mean support (Kara giving her blessing to his vow of non-violence and excitedly checking out his new alien P.I. digs,) a loving push (Alex helping him come to terms with his father’s dementia,) and, most recently, gentle understanding and validation.

This last point is what prompted me to talk about these three now. One of the main plots of this season is the return of J’onn’s long-lost brother Malefic, a White Martian collaborator who was erased from the collective Martian consciousness. J’onn works to uncover his hidden memories of Malefic and learns that he was the one to erase his brother from memory. Although he did it in a desperate bid to ease his father’s guilt at Malefic’s war crimes, this is the worst sin a Martian can commit, and J’onn beats himself up with shame when he realizes what he did. He at first hides this knowledge from the others, convinced that they’ll feel as disgusted with him as he does with himself, but when he confides in Kara and Alex, both respond lovingly, pointing out the compassionate motivation behind his actions them and reminding him of the honorable man he is today. Such beautiful expressions of understanding and accepting, making my heart swell for this wonderful little intergalactic found family.

Relationship Spotlight: Alex Danvers & Brainiac-5 (Supergirl)

(Spoilers for the end of season 3.)

When the third season of Supergirl came to a close, it brought with it some cast shakeups.  Mon-El returned to the future, and while I do enjoy him, he always felt more like a temporary cast member to me, especially in season 3.  More significantly, Winn also left the 21^st century and traveled to the future with Mon-El, while the techno-organic AI Brainiac-5 stayed behind, becoming the DEO’s new resident genius.  Now, Winn was a character I really liked, and I especially enjoyed the delightful sibling-esque relationship he’d been developing with Alex since he first started working at the DEO.  Their banter was always fun, and they were often a source of emotional support for one another, a quality that maybe felt unexpected at first but came to be a cornerstone of their dynamic.  For me, you could never really go wrong with Alex-Winn scenes, and I knew I was going to miss them going forward.

Meanwhile, Brainy’s most prominent relationship outside the Legion was probably also with Winn – in the back half of season 3, the two had an amusing dynamic marked by Brainy’s gradual (and slightly begrudging) respect for Winn’s intelligence, no faint praise coming from a much-touted 12^th Level Intellect who regards the 21^st century as hopelessly backward.  So, with the rest of the Legion leaving Brainy in our time and Winn going with them, I wasn’t sure what to expect when it came to Brainy forming relationships with the other characters.

I don’t know why I didn’t think of the possibility of an Alex-Brainy friendship.  After all, Brainy fills a similar function to Winn at the DEO, albeit in a different way, so it stands to reason that he’d take up a similar place in Alex’s life as well.  That’s explicitly highlighted at the start of season 4, when newly-appointed DEO director Alex finds herself clashing frequently with Brainy, who, recalling her closeness to Winn, decides that the best way to resolve their workplace issues is to grab some of the clothes and toys Winn left behind, not-so-subtly attempting to draw connections between him and Winn in Alex’s mind.

Naturally, that’s the last thing Alex wants, but it has an unintended positive effect anyway.  It reminds Alex that it’s not Brainy’s fault that he isn’t Winn and shows her that Brainy is trying to connect with her, even if his methods reflect a lot of fundamental misunderstandings about how humans operate.  This clears the way for them to develop their own friendship, and while there are similarities between it and Alex’s relationship with Winn, they’re allowed to be different, which gives it room to be successful in a way that simply trying to replicate the Alex-Winn friendship wouldn’t (as Melissa Benoist learned on Glee, shunting in new “replacement” characters for old favorites isn’t super effective.)

While Alex and Brainy’s friendship also gives off sibling vibes, Brainy is far more the annoying little brother than Winn ever was.  His bluntness and difficulty reading social cues gives Alex plenty to roll her eyes over, and when Col. Haley shows up, Alex finds herself occasionally running interference between the decidedly-non-human Brainy and the colonel, who’s not all that big on aliens.  As Brainy grows to trust Alex’s judgment and respect her command, he proves very loyal to her (especially against Haley,) although there are timess when the type of help he provides isn’t exactly welcome – I crack up at the scene where Alex has to explain her subtle insinuation that she wants him to disobey Haley’s orders and Brainy very loudly confirms his understanding.

As far as emotional support goes, I don’t know how closely these two would ever resemble Alex-Winn on that front (Brainy isn’t always the most emotionally-observant friend,) but they’re coming along.  Dealing with the frustrations, stressors, and dangers of the 21^st century forces Brainy to confront his emotions more often than he probably ever has before, and Alex sometimes helps him with that.  One of my favorite scenes between them comes after Brainy has a tense run-in with some anti-alien humans, which later disrupts his concentration during a high-pressure situation.  Alex is annoyed with him in the moment, but later, as Brainy is beating himself up over the consequences his mental errors may have had, Alex realizes where his distress stems from.  She gets him to talk through his feelings about what happened and promises to have his back against anyone who comes at him for being an alien.  Brainy, in turn, starts to understand that people like Alex aren’t all that easy to come by, and he develops a greater appreciation for her support and friendship.

My favorite relationships in any given show are frequently friendships, and while I don’t think we’ve seen enough of Alex and Brainy yet to put them at the top, I like them a lot.  They’re always entertaining together, they challenge each other in neat ways, and as they grow closer, their scenes provide both heart and humor.  I’m excited to see more from them as the season goes on.

Relationship Spotlight: Kara Zor-El & Alex Danvers (Supergirl)

I love a good familial relationship, and the Danvers sisters have quite a good one.  It has complexity and conflict, but it’s also absolutely loving and comes from a continual place of support for and belief in one another.  This one gets extra points for showing such deep ties between adoptive sisters, which doesn’t always get its due in the media (some Kara-Alex-related spoilers.)

Kara has friends, she has mentors, and she’s had love interests, but from Day One, it’s always been her and Alex.  It began in a pretty unhealthy way, with Alex taught to sublimate her needs for the sake of her alien adopted sister’s.  Kara’s childhood and Alex’s teen years were frequently about considering Kara’s feelings as someone who’d lost her home and family, helping Kara understand her powers while keeping them hidden, teaching Kara how to navigate “normal” human life, and making Kara feel welcomed and loved in the Danvers family.  All of this is important, obviously, but a lot of it came at the expense of Alex’s emotional well-being rather than alongside it.  It’s a pattern that continues to crop up today, with Alex blaming herself whenever she “lets” anything bad happen to Kara, and Kara not even realizing when she makes things all about herself without considering what Alex might need.

But they’re working on it.  The series begins with them starting to really get to know each other.  When Kara first reveals herself to the world, Alex is immediately there to scold her for being reckless and indiscreet, even though it was seeing Alex in danger that made Kara step up.  However, just as Alex needs to get used to the idea that her “baby” sister believes herself to have the great responsibility that comes with great power, Kara needs to meet the Alex she’s never seen, the badass DEO agent who fights alien threats and works to keep National City safe behind the scenes while Kara flies through the sky with a red cape.  More revelations.  Kara isn’t incapable – she’s hugely powerful and has an enormous drive to do good – but there’s a lot she doesn’t know, and Alex’s experience and expertise is instrumental in helping Kara hone her raw abilities into talents.

Working side by side at the DEO, they’ve grown together so much.  They look out for each other in the field (sometimes to the other’s “I can take care of myself!” exasperation,) and they make each other better, both as fighters and as investigators/agents (and now, in Alex’s case, as director.)  Kara’s sunny impulsiveness is balanced out by Alex’s cynical practicality, and each brings their own strengths to the table.  They can clash hard, but when they do, it’s usually because one thinks the other is endangering themselves by going about things the wrong way, and when they make up, it’s with mutual, heartfelt understanding.

Alex’s relationship with Maggie also changed her relationship with Kara in some interesting ways.  It shook up their patterns quite a bit, as Kara had to learn to be proactive in recognizing when Alex needs support – Alex doesn’t often put herself in a position to be vulnerable in front of people she cares about, and Kara got used to not having to look for it.  Additionally, while Kara will likely always be Alex’s number-one person, Alex getting together with Maggie was the first time Kara had any serious rival for Alex’s attention, and both struggled a little bit with figuring out where the balances lies in Alex’s life between her sister and her girlfriend. 

Relationships have come and gone on both sides – James, Maggie, Mon-El.  Dynamics have changed, with Alex now wrestling with the responsibility that comes with being DEO director and knowing that her decisions could risk her sister’s life.  But at the end of the day, no matter what’s happened, what journey either character has been on, and what’s passed between them, it comes down to two sisters sitting on a couch, eating takeout in their bare feet as they offer one another advice, support, commiseration, or whatever else they might need.  Danvers sisters forever!