A Real Pain (2024, R)

Although this film had been in the Best Picture conversation, it didn’t wind up getting that nod. But even though it only got a couple nominations, I really loved it and am still thinking about it. A fascinating story about family, grief, and connection.

What’s It About?

After the death of their grandmother, American cousins David and Benji travel to Poland to see where she was born. They join a tour group exploring the country’s history, where anxious, careful David is quick to apologize for the brash, unvarnished Benji. As the two cousins navigate their family’s past, they also reckon with their own loving but tumultuous relationship.

Who’s in It?

Jesse Eisenberg (who also wrote and directed the film) plays David, while Kieran Culkin plays Benji. Both actors are extremely well suited for their roles, but even if their performances bear some similarity with past roles of theirs, they’re both so compelling to watch here. Their interactions with one another and within the tour group are just fascinating—they’re by turns hilarious and heartbreaking, sometimes in the course of a single scene.

What’s It Nominated For? 

A Real Pain was nominated for two Oscars:

·        Best Supporting Actor – Kieran Culkin

·        Best Original Screenplay

What Do I Love About It?

·        “Odd couple” dynamics are very easy to do, and while this might at first seem like a boilerplate odd couple—uptight/responsible David vs. slobby/impulsive Benji—neither character is just one thing. Benji is highly “inappropriate,” with no social filter, and he frequently says offensive or hurtful things, but he’s also deeply emotional, really cares about people, and values the truth over polite bullshit. David wants to do everything right and keep everyone comfortable, but he frequently finds himself on the edge of the group, not sure how to fit in, and he often hurries to apologize for Benji in situations where it’s not actually necessary.

·        Both cousins annoy or anger each other at times, and both of them are very capable of hurting each other. But they love each other too, deeply, even if neither can fully care for the other in the way they need. They’re such different people, and on some level, each understands the other better than they understand themselves. But they both get it wrong in certain critical moments, while coming through in others.

·        I like how mental health and neurodivergence is incorporated into the film. David has OCD, and while we’re never given a diagnosis for Benji, it seems clear that he’s going through something that’s exacerbating all the other difficult stuff in his life—he fell apart after their grandmother died, he’s struggled with self-harming behaviors, and he’s living in his mom’s basement (in contrast to David’s good job, marriage, and young child.) Personally, I read Benji with borderline personality disorder, but like I said, the film never specifically names what’s going on in his head.

·        Even though the two cousins are very much the headline of the story, all the characters in the film are nicely drawn and well-performed. I’ve never been on this sort of tour before, but I’m willing to bet money that everyone in the group is a very specific type commonly seen in tour groups like that, right down to the non-Polish, non-Jewish guide.

Warnings

Strong thematic elements (including discussions of genocide and suicide,) disturbing images (including a tour of a concentration camp,) language, and drinking/drug use.