*Roy-related spoilers.*
As I’ve said before, a neurodivergent reading of Ted Lasso really snuck up on me. I loved the show’s whimsy and wordplay, I adored its enormous heart, and I really appreciated how it tackled issues like toxic masculinity and mental health struggles. Pretty much every character is spectacular. But even as I started exploring my own neurodivergence and clocking the Big ND Energy in so many of my favorite shows, it took me a while to consider Ted Lasso, and I’m not sure why. Is it because it’s about sports? Whatever the reason, I came late to realizing just how neurodivergent this show feels, but now I’m fully on board the “Ted Lasso is autistic as hell” train. And for my first Neurodivergent Alley post on the show, there was only one choice for me.
Actually, I think part of the reason I didn’t clock the show’s autistic coding is because it dovetails so well into the themes of dismantling toxic masculinity, so I was attributing many of the show’s qualities to one theme when the answer is more multifaceted. Roy is a prime example of this. We meet him as the gruff, angry captain of AFC Richmond. He constantly swears, he’s well known for literally growling at people, and he can be extremely good at pushing others away. He's one of several clear foils for Ted at the start of the show, and we the audience wait for the affable, caring Ted to break down Roy’s tough-guy walls and help him get more in touch with his emotions. And to an extent, we do see that. Roy has been messed up by toxic masculinity, like a lot of the guys have. But when we look at how Roy communicates, how he expresses his feelings, and how he interacts with other people, it’s clear to me that the situation isn’t just that.
Ted Lasso has a lot of swearing in general, but Roy swears in virtually every setting, including at his young niece’s school and on TV during his short-lived tenure as a sports commentator. It’s not really that he doesn’t understand the social cue, he just doesn’t care about it. It’s part of how he communicates, along with his flat-facing (he rarely smiles,) his stiff posture, and, yes, the growling. As a professional footballer, and later, a coach, it all becomes part of his “hard man” persona, which helps him get through annoying or uncomfortable social situations. The public doesn’t mind when he flips off photographers or gives terse answers to reporters because “that’s just Roy Kent.” If he occasionally needs to growl instead of use words, it’s handy that growling is practically considered a catchphrase for him.
He can miss implications in his social interactions. When Keeley asks him out and he says he’s busy, he doesn’t realize she takes that to mean he’s not interested. Later in their relationship, he can’t take the hint that she needs a little alone time and has to have it explicitly spelled out for him. More often than not, Roy is bluntly, brutally honest with people. He’s never shy about telling someone they played like shit or calling them out when they need it, and he is not the person you go to for flattering reassurance. He appreciates bluntness in others as well. I love when he asks if Keeley was talking about him, and while Rebecca and Higgins try to evade and “cover” for her, Keeley nonchalantly replies, “Yeah, we’re talking about you,” which Roy is perfectly fine with.
Yes, Roy can be fairly repressed, but he can also just have a hard time with his emotions. There are moments on the show where he needs a few beats to process something in silence before yelling, “Fuck!” or flipping a bench over. It can be really tough for him to ask for help or explain how he’s feeling, and it seems like he sometimes needs to express those feelings out loud before he fully understands them himself. He sabotages his relationship with Keeley because he's scared, it takes him three full seasons to admit he wants to be a Diamond Dog, and it’s like pulling teeth for him to confess that something hurt his “feeling.”
But Roy can also be surprisingly open at times too. Despite leaving Chelsea due to his fears of becoming a "broken-down footballer," he isn’t shy about admitting his physical weaknesses, like the fact that he doesn’t see well at night or that he doesn’t use whistles as a coach because impure metals give him mouth hives. And it extends to emotional stuff as well. When Ted approaches Roy about benching him, Roy isn't just mad, he's very specifically hurt, and he makes it clear that he feels betrayed after Ted promised he'd have his back. When Keeley dances around criticizing a dud that Rebecca is dating, Roy tells her in no uncertain terms that the guy doesn’t deserve her and she shouldn’t “settle for fine.”
This isn’t just Ted’s influence, either. Roy definitely becomes more open about his emotions as the show goes on, but this side of him was always there. He’ll come right out and talk about things that you’d think would be embarrassing for a tough-guy professional athlete to admit, and yet he seems completely unbothered by it. I love that you can’t always predict what he’ll share willingly and what he’ll try to hide. It makes his character more interesting, and for me, it’s further proof that, when Roy has difficulty talking about his emotions, it goes beyond self-consciousness or toxic masculinity. In the scenes where he either can’t open up or struggles to get the words out, it looks almost physically painful for him.
Another thing I really love about the show and Roy’s place in it is that who is he as a person doesn’t fundamentally change. As he grows and Ted makes Richmond a safe place to be vulnerable and show his softer side, Roy doesn’t transform. He doesn’t stop swearing or growling, and he’s still a gruff guy. He doesn’t magically start handling social situations with aplomb. Instead, he’s able to be more fully himself, surrounded by people who embrace all sides of him: the sweet, the open, the grumpy, the sweary, and so on. I love that so much.
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