*Mary-related spoilers.*
Finishing off my long run of Our Flag Means Death Favorite Characters posts with Mary. She’s a special case, because were it not for one particular episode, I never would’ve considered her a favorite character. Excellent writing, that the show was able to turn a character around so thoroughly for me in just half an hour.
I want to be clear, I never hated Mary. From the flashbacks to Stede’s “discomfort in a married state,” it’s obvious that being his wife is no easy task. Even before he leaves his wife and children to become a pirate, Stede and Mary just never click. She tries more than he does, attempting to make the best of their arranged marriage. She paints him a picture of a lighthouse for their anniversary, hearkening back to the reverend’s remarks at their wedding, and she tries to broach the subject of their unhappiness. She makes an effort, but Stede doesn’t give her much to work with.
At the same time, it takes two to make a marriage and two to break it. Mary is often short with Stede, snapping at him or making passive-aggressive remarks. They’re two people who had family-ness imposed upon them, and neither is able to give the other what they need. Theirs is a tense household where people go through the motions without any feeling behind it.
However, when Stede returns to Mary at the end of season 1, we see an entirely different side of her. Just as Stede was stifled by their home life, Mary was too. While he flourishes and begins to come into his own at sea, she really discovers herself through being a “widow.” She explores everything a woman can be beyond a wife: she pursues her painting, she’s a freer and happier mother with the children, and she finds a community of fellow widows to befriend. She’s kind of her best self, maybe the self she’d never even realized she was longing to be. With her painting instructor Doug, she’s in a satisfying, loving relationship for the first time—everything in Mary’s life is better when she’s calling her own shots.
That’s when Stede shows up out of the blue with a simple, “Darling, I’m home.” Far from ecstatic to have her husband returned safely to her, Mary is dismayed. In an instant, her bright, fulfilling life of independence is in danger of slipping away.
Stede comes back because he thinks he has to. He’s been plagued with guilt about leaving Mary and the children, and he wants to make it right. He doesn’t realize his return only breaks something beautiful that had begun. He’s miserable away from Ed, his ship, and his crew, and Mary is miserable to have him there. At first, they’re worse to one another than they’ve ever been.
Within Stede’s story, Mary is often a source of conflict, regret, and unhappiness. They hurt each other a lot, and they’re clearly not meant to be together. But I love that Mary gets to be the one to help Stede realize he’s in love with Ed—after a murder attempt, no less! As she tells him what being in love with Doug feels like, he admits that he’s found that exact same feeling in Ed. And she’s nothing but happy for him.
From there, they’re platonic partners in crime, figuring out how both of them can get back to the life they truly want in a way that satisfies the demands of society. By faking Stede’s death in an elaborate fuckery, Mary is able to reclaim her independent life as a widow, and Stede returns to the sea in the hope of declaring his love for Ed. Based everything else we get from Mary in the season, I wouldn’t have imagined we’d ever see this from the two of them, but the season one finale completely pulls it off!
Lastly, let’s look at some strong line readings from Claudia O’Doherty.
· Get his ass, Mary! – “In your absence, I have managed to create a life that I quite like, and I won’t destroy that life just because you’ve decided to un-abandon your family on a whim.”
· When Stede questions her method of attempted murder (skewer through the earhole,) I love Mary’s explanation – “A pillow seemed too tricky, and a gun would wake the kids. I thought about poison or pushing you off a cliff, but I really wanted to get it done tonight, and I didn’t want you to suffer.”
· After Mary gives her beautiful speech about what love feels like, she’s so wonderfully sincere in telling Stede, “I hope you find that.”
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