Sunday, March 6
· Recap of the Week – Ukraine
o This was heartwarming in a very John Oliver way – “And yet, Ukrainian citizens have continued to show incredible signs of resistance, proving that they truly are the ‘fuck around and find out’ country of Eastern Europe.”
o John wasn’t impressed with people fancasting Jeremy Renner as President Zelensky in an eventual movie about the war – “Hang on. Maybe wait for the actual war to end before we start casting the fucking movie.”
o We also looked at how Russia is trying to control information about the war – In addition to censoring journalists and spreading misinformation, “authorities have blocked Twitter and Facebook and are threatening to block Wikipedia, which is an outright attack on anyone who has something due tomorrow.”
· And Now This – The Bachelor/The Bachelorette catchphrase
o This was an assuming bit, a montage of Bachelors and Bachelorettes declaring, “This is the perfect place to fall in love,” about everywhere from Tahiti to Wisconsin.
· Main Story – Wrongful convictions
o John explained that, despite the plethora of legal procedurals talking constantly about appeals, overturning a conviction is incredibly difficult – The first hurdle? “In general, innocence itself is not an appealable issue.”
o Furthermore, while people have a constitutional right to an attorney, that’s only for their initial trial – There’s no guarantee of an attorney for an appeal, which is a major issue when the smallest technicality can get an appeal dismissed altogether.
o This was a sobering summation of the issue – “When the whole criminal justice system is geared toward getting a conviction, it has very little interest in seeing its work undone.”
o This story was full of deplorable statistics – In 96% of judges’ rulings on appeals, they adopt the prosecutors’ remarks verbatim.
o AEDPA is a law that both limits the ability to file appeals and greatly increases the bar defendants have to exceed to get their convictions overturned – Before AEDPA’s passage, death row inmates were successful in their appeals 40% of the time. A decade later, it was down to 10%.
o And because what would a criminal-justice main story be without racism? – Innocent Black people are 7 times more likely to be convicted of murder than innocent white people.
o Given the many restrictions, the complicated red tape, and the overall desire to uphold previous decisions, “It really feels like our system is essentially ‘guilty until proven rich or lucky.’”
· And Now This – Steve Harvey court moments
o In the main story, John enjoyed Steve Harvey’s court far more than any real one, so we ended on a montage of him and his tiny golden gavel – I especially liked him incredulously saying to someone, “You think this is real court!”
Monday, March 7
· Headlines– William Barr’s new book, Andrew Cuomo speaks out against “cancel culture,” American trucker convoy
o Loved this – “I’m sorry, did Bill Barr say after the election, that’s when Trump went off the rails? That’s what he said? After the election? So before the election, when he was trying to nuke hurricanes and inject bleach, that was on the rails? That was normal?”
o Sigh – “Yo man, these people are wild. William Barr literally agrees that Trump tried to overthrow the election, but still, he would vote for Trump over a Democrat. ‘Yeah, I mean, maybe Trump’s gonna end America and put me in a prison camp, but it’s better than learning new pronouns. Am I right?’”
o Awesome response to Andrew Cuomo – “Let’s agree on this, please, can we agree on this once and for all? Getting canceled is not the same thing as getting investigated for sexual harassment. All right? ‘Canceled’ is when people yell at you on Twitter for, like, a joke. When you’re getting canceled, you can put your phone on airplane mode and keep moving. That’s not what happened to Andrew Cuomo. Right? That wasn’t the woke police, that was the police-police.”
o This comment about the misfire of the American trucker convoy made me laugh – “Aw man, this is just sad. American truckers were trying to block traffic, but D.C. already has so much traffic that nobody really noticed they were protesting. And I mean, let’s be honest—a protest isn’t much good if it’s too subtle for people to know it’s a protest.”
· Main Story – Ukraine
o Great description of the Russian invasion of Ukraine – “Or, as Putin calls, Russia’s relaxing shoulder massage of Ukraine.”
o Trevor had a suitably-disgusted reaction to Russia twice agreeing to ceasefires with Ukraine in order for people to evacuate, then shelling the civilians as they flee – “Jesus Christ, this is insane. Like, it’s bad enough that Russia is blowing Ukraine to smithereens, but it’s even worse that they are bombing people who are trying to escape during a ceasefire that Russia agreed to.”
o More on the rest of the world cutting Russia off – “Even Apple has stopped selling its products in Russia. Which means Russians can’t watch Ted Lasso anymore. It’s terrible for them, probably fine for Putin. ‘Cause, I mean, if a show has no villain, who’s he supposed to root for?”
o Good line about how Stoli vodka is switching to only using Slovakian ingredients – “Yeah, that’s how bad it’s gotten. Even vodka doesn’t want anything to do with Russia anymore. Just think about it. Can you imagine if hand gestures announced that they wanted nothing to do with Italy?”
o Unfortunately, as Trevor noted, closing off access to streaming services, boycotting Russian products, and cutting off Russian credits cards impacts plenty of Russian civilians, but not Putin himself – “You think this man pays? This man hasn’t paid for anything in, like, 20 years. Which waiter has the balls to bring Vladimir Putin the check?”
o As always, we checked in with the continuing spirit and fight of the Ukrainian people in the face of the invasion – “This really shows you the difference between capturing a city and controlling a city. You see, capturing a city is easy. You send in more tanks than the other team and then, boom, it’s yours. But if you can’t stop the old man in town from coming out and roasting you, have you really won?”
· Interview – Actor Jesse Williams
o I really enjoyed Williams’s discussion of his upcoming Broadway debut in Take Me Out, a play that explores the fallout of a superstar baseball player coming out as gay – “The locker room is a pretty specific space. Hypermasculine space. Brings a lot of baggage in there.”
o Williams noted that his character doesn’t suddenly start “acting gay” around his teammates, he just makes the announcement – “He hasn’t changed anything, but said a word. And look how men contort themselves and shape…. They don’t know how to behave around him. They don’t know how to present themselves.”
o This was a nice comment from Trevor – “One thing I’ve loved about fiction is that it oftentimes provides enough sugar for us to delve into facts. You know? It’s that through stories we get to solve all the puzzles that we can’t seem to solve in real life.”
o Williams noted similarities between “gayness” and “blackness” in terms of their media representation, in that both are often equated with specific stereotypes—the idea that there’s a singular, narrow way to be gay or Black.
Tuesday, March 8
· Headlines – Florida discourages COVID vaccination for “healthy children,” federal anti-lynching bill passed
o Sigh, too relatable – “Yesterday, the official global death toll from COVID passed six million, which, according to the U.S., means the pandemic is over! Congratulations, everybody. We did it.”
o Trevor wasn’t surprised about the Florida surgeon general’s less-than-pro-vaccine stance – “He’s the surgeon general of Florida. Come on. His other health recommendations are, like, ‘Alligators can’t hurt you if you’re drunk.’ What did we expect? It’s Florida, people.”
o Great intro – “Let’s move on to the other pandemic people keep insisting is behind us—racism.”
o This bit made me laugh – “And I know, I know there are all sorts of things that make people go, ‘Oh, is that really racist, though? Is it really racist to touch a Black person’s hair or say the N-word during karaoke?’ I mean, yeah, you were singing ‘Sweet Caroline.’ There was no need for it.”
o Since 1918, Congress has failed to pass federal anti-lynching legislation over 200 times – “You see, people? This goes to show that both political parties can come together and pass common sense legislation. They just need 104 years to do it. You just got to be patient.”
o Roy was the headline correspondent. I liked this bit from him – “Should we still focus on old racism at this point, or should-- I just think we should just be proactive and just look at future racism and just start passing the laws now, so that by the time we need the law, the law will be in place.”
· Main Story – Surging gas prices
o This was a good line, about Russia’s efforts to urge Syrians to join the war in Ukraine – “If you ask me, I think this is a pretty smart strategy from Putin. He’s probably thinking that if he can turn this into a Middle East conflict, then the West will stop caring about it.”
o I laughed at this bit – “It sucks, because the price of gas affects everything. Like, if this keeps up, the next Fast and Furious movie is gonna take place on public transportation.”
o While the U.S. has the ability to boycott Russian oil, Europe relies on it too heavily to be able to do so – “Yeah, you see, you can’t go too hard after the country that makes it possible for you to survive winter.”
o Good observation – “Putin has shined a spotlight on the trade-offs that dependency on fossil fuels creates. If countries want to move to renewable energy or safe nuclear power, they can no longer afford to make that, like, item number ten on the agenda.”
o Loved this line, about the Russian army having captured just one major Ukrainian city so far – “Considering that the Russian army is eight times the size of Ukraine’s, this has been humiliating for Russia. Right? It’s like Godzilla getting his ass whupped by the Geico gecko.”
o Ablebodied Ukrainian men of military age are required to stay and fight, and a number of women have been volunteering to fight as well, while many others run supplies or make camouflage nets, bulletproof vests, and homemade weapons.
o Good bit – “Okay, that’s amazing. That grandmother learned how to make Molotov cocktails from Google? I didn’t even know you could do that. I mean, she is gonna pay the price now, though. Yeah, because every website she goes to is gonna give her ads for Molotov cocktails now.”
o In addition to the women in Ukraine participating in the fight, we also looked at Russian women risking their safety to protest the war – “Now, look, I don’t know if Ukraine’s or Russia’s women will be able to stop Putin, but on this International Women’s Day, I think it’s worth highlighting how women across two countries are coming together to fight a crazy man’s war.”
· Interview – Guru/environmental activist Sadhguru
o When Trevor admitted to feeling self-conscious/nervous at the start of the interview, Sadhguru had this advice – “Just be yourself. There’s nothing called authentic. Nobody knows what’s that, authentic. Because human beings are a consequence of a thousand things they have picked up all over.”
o Sadhguru was there to discuss his initiative to raise awareness about soil loss and the dramatic consequences it could have on our ability to produce food – He explained that the world’s soil has lost 90% is its nourishing properties in the last century, in large part due to overfarming and an overreliance on chemical treatment rather than organic nutrients.
o The way he described it, we would now need to eat eight oranges to get the equivalent nourishment of eating one orange in 1920.
o This was a good observation from Trevor – “Before the pandemic, I think there was a certain hubris that humans had about everything. We just believed it would always go on. You hear these doomsday prophecies, or you hear these-- even warnings about the world ending at some point or humans not being able to inhabit the planet, but until the pandemic, I feel like we didn’t have a, a tangible example of the world stopping.”
o Sadhguru urged people to advocate for the soil, insisting that it’s an issue that will affect everyone – “When it comes to ecology, when it comes to soil, our national barriers—racial discriminations, our religions, our gods, our creeds, our gendered stuff, our, you know, political ideologies—nothing matters. This is a unifying factor.”
Wednesday, March 9
· Main Story – Russian invasion of Ukraine
o Trevor was worried at the news that the Russian army is messing around with the decommissioned power plant at Chernobyl – “Ah, come on, Russia! Can you not mess around with a nuclear power plant?! It’s nuclear power! I mean… I want season 2 of Chernobyl, yes, but I also want to be around to watch season 2 of Chernobyl.”
o Trevor went on to point out how this isn’t in Russia’s best interest either – “And a Chernobyl disaster is bad news for you. Think about it. I mean, best-case scenario, best-case scenario, what happens if you screw this up, huh? A lot of Russians get sick. Worst-case scenario, the radiation is gonna create an army of mutant super Ukrainians. And right now, you can’t even beat the regular ones, so is this a move you really want to make?”
o Ukraine is in need of fighter jets, and Poland has jets to offer, but fear over becoming Russia’s next target is preventing the jets from actually exchanging hands – “I’ll be honest, I don’t know why this is so complicated. I mean, you just have to treat these jets like an old couch that you don’t want anymore. Yeah, you just leave it on the sidewalk, and then, if Ukraine happens to walk by and find a jet, I mean, what’s Poland got to do with it, eh?”
o As gas prices soar, Biden has been reaching out to other countries about increasing oil production, but it seems countries like Saudi Arabia and the UAE aren’t interested in talking to him. I liked the jokes about how Trump kept other countries from ignoring his calls purely because of how unpredictable he was – “Too late, Ahmed! You made me wait two rings. We’re bombing the UAE, and the UFC, just in case.”
o Trevor emphasized the difference between companies choosing not to do business with Russia and American citizens vandalizing random Russian-American restaurants – “You’re not trying to be against the Russian people, you’re trying to be against the Russian government, to stop them from what they’re doing in Ukraine. You understand that you can be anti-Russia and pro-Russian? All right? It’s the same way you can question the Chinese government’s handling of coronavirus without punching Asian grandmothers in the streets. Do you understand this?”
o I’ve thought the same thing about some of these boycotts/sanctions/restrictions – “When you think about it, because Russian people only get Russian news, they probably have no idea why all these companies are closing, none.”
o With Bumble pulling out of Russia, we got another fake ad of a Kremlin-produced alternative – This time, it was a dating app called “Putin’ Out.”
o This was a good line – “Maybe you fall in love, or maybe you report them to police. Either way, is win.”
o Eh, this bit was okay but not great. Basically, it accosted people in Times Square with “gotcha” questions trying to “cancel” them – Some of the questions made me laugh, like, “Is the Statue of Liberty gentrifying Ellis Island?” and, “What’s your favorite slur for left-handed people?”
o My favorite bit was, “If a Black person’s hair is on fire, can you touch it?”, to which a woman replied, “Oh my gosh. I don’t know!”
· Interview – Musician Dolly Parton & author James Patterson
o Patterson and Parton have coauthored a novel about a country music singer, and Parton recorded a companion album to go with it.
o Trevor reminisced to Dolly Parton about singing her songs with his mom as a kid, but he balked when Patterson asked for a demonstration – “You can’t sing Dolly Parton to Dolly Parton, James! Don’t put me on the spot.”
o I enjoyed Parton’s description of the book and its protagonist – “Everybody has a story when they come to town. Everybody’s got a past, their childhood and how they grew up. And everybody’s story is, you know, different. Everybody’s life is a soap opera. And so it’s really about her story. She was running to something. She loved the music. But she was running from something.”
o Patterson shared that, early in their collaboration, he sent Parton some notes, and she replied within two days with lyrics for seven songs!
o Trevor asked Parton how she’s “always on the right side of history,” given her positions over the years on civil rights, gender equality, vaccine research, etc. – She said, “I just love people. I think we’re all God’s children. I make no difference in that. I always try to find the God light in everybody.”
Thursday, March 10
· Headlines – Russian invasion of Ukraine, Joro spiders spreading across the East coast, Kim Kardashian’s career advice
o Savage intro to the war in Ukraine – “Or as Prince William calls it, ‘the brown thing happening to white people’ war.”
o Naturally, Trevor was disgusted by Russia claiming (during peace talks!) that it didn’t actually attack Ukraine – “Which is obviously a lie. And it’s also not reassuring for the rest of Europe. ‘Yeah, now we are not attacking Poland. Now we’re not attacking Paris. Now we are not taking over the world. What are you guys complaining about, huh?’”
o The latest in the war spilling over into the rest of the world was a Russian astronaut musing on the idea of not let an American astronaut ride back to him with him from the ISS. Trevor recognized this as cold-blooded, but he also admitted it made a small amount of sense – “Flying someone home from space is a huge favor to do, especially for an enemy. Right? It’s like picking them up from the airport a million times over.”
o I love this bit, responding to a scientist trying to reassure people about Joro spiders – “Okay, this guy has clearly never met humans. Because when we’re afraid of something, we don’t try and learn to appreciate it. We try and destroy it at all costs! That’s what humans do. This scientist’s gonna sit there and tell us we need to sit back and learn to appreciate spiders? What kind of rational bullshit is that? Pick up a broom and join the fight, you coward!”
o I laughed at the description of Kim Kardashian as “Instagram’s final boss.”
o Kardashian’s “career advice” for women was basically “get off your ass and actually work,” which understandably hasn’t been going over too well. Trevor acknowledged that Kardashian does work hard in her various ventures, but he also noted the advantages that helped her succeed – “If you’re lucky… if you’re lucky to have that, then, yeah, there’s a good chance that your hard work is gonna make you successful. But don’t forget how much luck has to do with that success. Anyone who says, ‘Just work hard, and things will work out,’ those people are forgetting a major component, known as luck.”
o A sad truth about the world – “A lot of the time, the broker you are, the harder you probably work.”
· If You Don’t Know, Now You Know – Russian oligarchs
o I loved this reaction to one oligarch’s extra-swanky yacht – “Damn! That guy has a boat that has a pool that turns into a helipad? Whew! Do you know how rich a person has to be to have a mode of transportation that carries another mode of transportation and it sits on a body of water while it carries a body of water? That’s money.”
o This made me laugh – “Clearly it pays to be Putin’s friend. I mean, sure, you’re the one who always has to take those shirtless horse pics, but, I mean, in the end, you get an oil company.”
o Thanks to sanctions on oligarchs, some of these Russian billionaires/Putin confidantes are now calling for the war to end – “Let’s be honest, man, that’s life. Rich people complaining is how shit always gets done. That’s how colonization happened. Rich people were like, ‘My food has no flavor!’ And two days later, the British took over India.”
o Part of the reason the U.S. and NATO allies have been able to seize these oligarchs’ assets is because most of it isn’t in Russia – “Look, man, I get why. I get why these guys want to buy football teams in London or luxury apartments in New York or park their yachts in Saint-Tropez, because, I mean, let’s be honest, spending money in Russia? That isn’t as much fun. I mean, the yacht experience is just not the same if you have to wear a bathing suit over your fur coat.”
o I liked this impression of an oligarch pleading for peace – “Please, we must think of this war’s impact on innocent children. That is the name of my yacht: Innocent Children. She does not deserve this. Please, look at her.”
· Interview – Actress Sandra Oh
o Oh was there to talk about Turning Red, and it was a really good interview. There was just something about her that was so relaxed and blunt and honest – I loved it!
o This was a nice observation from Trevor – “It’s so interesting to me how Pixar has found a way to tell stories that people are almost afraid to tell in any other medium now. You know, Pixar’s talking about mental health. Pixar’s talking about life and death. Pixar’s now talking here about puberty.”
o Trevor suggested that parents can now just show their kids a Pixar movie in lieu of having challenging conversations with them, but Oh countered that Turning Red is prompting deeper discussions between parents and kids, everything from “What’s a pad?” to “What are hormones?” to “What is metaphor?”
o Sandra Oh, speaking the truth – “You know, I get this question a lot, which is, like, ‘Oh, you work with women a lot.’ Like-- You know what I mean? ‘You work with women a lot.’ And it’s like, it’s true, it’s true, because that’s who hires me, by the way. So all throughout my career, the majority of the people who I’ve worked with regarding, like, writer-directors, right? Women, women of color, right?”
o Like many, Oh has been reevaluating her priorities in light of the pandemic – “I think the assessment of what is important and what I choose to put my time into is becoming more and more important.”
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