Monday, October 18
· Headlines – Texas opposition to antiracism education in schools, China’s hypersonic missile test, Christchurch gets rid of its official wizard
o Good line – “If Black people want to learn about racism in Texas, they’re gonna have to do it the old-fashioned way, by trying to vote.”
o Great response to audio footage of an administrator in a Texas school telling teachers they needed to include the “opposing view” if they taught a book on the Holocaust – “You can’t teach the opposing view of the Holocaust. That’s Facebook’s job. Stay in your lane, teachers!”
o I liked Trevor’s suggestion to have an “evil version” of each teacher around to teach these opposing views, a la Mario and Wario.
o Trevor noted that China’s hypersonic missile went “around the world in less than a day, by the way, which means China has invented Santa Claus technology in real life.”
o Valid – “By the way, even if it is ‘just a spacecraft,’ what difference is that going to make? Because if a spacecraft crashes into my house, I’m not going to be like, ‘Well, at least it wasn’t a missile!’”
o A correspondent, Roy, was included in the headines again, but much less awkwardly than the contrived gimmicks that were used last week. I liked this bit, about the rest of the world having a responsibility to keep China from shooting missiles into space – “You think when the aliens come, they’re gonna be like, ‘Which one of you countries shot this at us?’” No! Everybody dead!”
o I loved this comment about Christchurch, New Zealand’s official wizard – “That’s a weird salary when you think about it. Because $11,000 is way too high for a guy who’s not really a wizard, but it’s also way too low for a real wizard. I mean, if a guy can turn me into a frog, he can name his price!”
· Main Story – Infrastructure and reconciliation bills
o Another gossip-show sketch, eh. It really does feel like Trevor might be on strike with this story, that he refuses to do any regular pieces on it until something actual happens.
o True – “I can understand the frustration, I really do. It’s just a bill – it shouldn’t take half the lifespan of a pug!”
o This was a good intro to Bernie Sanders’s complaints that the media is only talking about the conflict over the reconciliation bill, not its contents – “Maybe there would be more pressure for Joe Manchin to support this bill if the public was begging for it, but right now, this bill is like a chicken nugget. Nobody even knows what’s inside!”
· Correspondent Piece (Jordan) – Trump rally
o OMG – “The MAGA faithful showed their support for the former president in all the totally normal ways, with Confederate flags in Iowa and images of Trump on a velociraptor with a machine gun.”
o Great bit here – After one woman insisted that Trump supporters weren’t a cult, Jordan asked what she was hoping to hear at the rally, and she replied, “I feel like, whatever he spews out of his mouth, I just love it.”
o Jordan is so good at innocently following people’s conspiracy theories to their logical conclusion, like his response to a QAnon believer insisting that Trump is still running the country as the president – “And he’s running the military? So we should blame him for what happened in Afghanistan?”
o One of the weirdest parts was how none of the Trump supporters Jordan talked to believed Trump supporters had anything to do with the January 6th insurrection – we heard everything from “antifa” to “the corrupt FBI” to “the bullhorn guy was running after a plane in Afghanistan.”
· Interview – Musician/Actress Eve
o Eve’s reaction to motherhood was sweet – “I am beyond happy. I need a new word for happy.”
o In talking about her new show Queens, Eve admitted that it was hard to separate her character from herself, since they’re so similar – “It took me at least about the second week where I found her voice, where I found the actual character’s voice.”
o She loves that the show draws on characters who came up in the same hip-hop scene that she did – “’90s hip-hop, 2000s hip-hop? There was a movement at that time. There was a pureness, a uniqueness.”
Tuesday, October 19
· Headlines – Vaccine booster shots, backlash to new Hooters uniforms, Kanye West changes his name
o I enjoyed Trevor using Avengers as analogies for getting one vaccine and then getting a booster from another – “Where it really gets complicated is with the Johnson & Johnson shot, which is basically Hawkeye. It’s better than nothing, but I mean, come on!”
o Desi was the chosen headline correspondent today. This one leaned in too hard on a gimmick (disregarding the headlines to complain about her neighbor,) but she had a few good lines – I liked, “I too am really excited about the mixing-and-matching thing, because it’s kind of like being a vaccine swinger. Like, I have Moderna, but I’m kinda Pfizer-curious?”
o Hooters reversed the decision to put their waitresses in even shorter shorts after waitresses spoke up about it on TikTok – “The waitresses have shot this shit down fast, and I’m not surprised. I mean, half their job is turning down creepy men’s requests. This was always gonna happen!”
· Main Story – Labor strikes across the country
o So perfect – “Jobs: they’re how Americans prove that they deserve healthcare.”
o Relatable – “Have you ever noticed how, the people who collect student loans? They never go on strike! Or telemarketers. Come on, you guys deserve better pay!”
o This was a valid point – “Honestly, some of these CEOs get so greedy that they become shortsighted. Because if they thought about it, they’d realize they could probably get away with exploiting their workers for longer if they just exploited them a little less. But if you don’t give them anything, well, then it’s really easy to notice the disparity.”
o Like Trevor, I was appalled at how badly Kellogg’s treats their factory workers – “What the hell, Kellogg’s? You shouldn’t be working people to the bone for cereal! We can all eat a pancake every once in a while, it’s fine. No one’s going to die.”
o Trevor speculated that, the longer Kellogg’s exploits the workers, the darker the back-of-the-box games are going to become, with a graphic of a word finder puzzle reading “EAT THE RICH.”
o After John Deere sent their office workers to cover for striking factory workers, Trevor wasn’t surprised that one of them immediately caused an accident – “Office workers do not have the skillset to work in a factory! You hand them a wrench, and they’ll be like, ‘Okay, do I use this to check my emails?’”
· Correspondent Piece (Dulcé) – Racial disparities in tree coverage
o In a number of cities across the country, formerly redlined neighborhoods have about half as many trees and parks as the wealthiest neighborhoods.
o Dulcé pointed out many negative outcomes stemming from this disparity, including the fact that neighborhoods with less tree coverage are hotter on average – “Now, 13 degrees might not seem like a lot, but that’s two totally different lifestyles. At 80 degrees, you’re enjoying the pool. At 93 degrees, you are a pool!”
· Interview – Journalist Alex Wagner
o It was chilling to watch a clip from Wagner’s show where a Republican she was interviewing had this to say about Mitch McConnell – “I mean, he’s basically a liberal at this point. He’s almost a Democrat.”
o Trevor told Wagner, “I feel like every time you come here, you come with a slightly more-ominous message about what America should expect” – Wagner fully accepted her role as “the Cassandra.”
o She didn’t mince words about the situation she’s seen on the ground – “It is bad out there, Trevor. It is worse than we think it is, in so far as the machinery of democracy, I think, in many ways is grinding to a halt.”
o Wagner discussed the lessons that the GOP is taking from the 2020 election and January 6th – “They see the areas where they didn’t succeed in terms of insurrection, in terms of swinging the vote, in terms of literally usurping American democracy. They look and they see that as almost a series of tests, and they’re trying to figure out how to foolproof the system, if you will, ahead of the 2022 midterms and the 2024 election.”
Wednesday, October 20
· Headlines – Facebook plans to change name, human receives pig kidney, TikTok pug daily predictions
o This was on point, in the Facebook story – “First, I don’t think the name is really the problem people have with Facebook. Society is like, ‘You, you guys are destroying democracy!’ And Facebook is like, ‘We hear you. What if we went by Bookface?’”
o Dulcé was the headline correspondent tonight. I loved her take on Mark Zuckerberg’s voice – “You know what that sounds like: when white dudes do a white-dude voice. Like when white people do an impression of white people? That’s what he sounds like. That he is just, like, leveled up so high in whiteness that even white people notice white people don’t talk like that.”
o Musings from Trevor – “If you get a pig organ, you have to become a vegan then, yes? Can we agree on that? Because imagine if someone gave you his kidney and then you ate his whole family. That shit’s disrespectful!”
o This was probably my favorite headline tagteam so far, just because Trevor and Dulcé seemed to be having so much fun together – In the pig-organ discussion, Dulcé cracked me up when she exclaimed, “If you have to get a skin graft, then you’re just covered in bacon!”
· Main Story – Vaccine mandates among police and fire departments
o Lots of good, pointed cop jokes in this story – Upon hearing that 30% of NYPD cops are unvaccinated, Trevor ventured, “Maybe- maybe they just don’t know how to get vaccinated. I mean, I know it seems easy, but some cops don’t even know how to turn on a body camera, so…?”
o I loved this one too, “worrying” over what will happen if cops quit to avoid getting vaccinated – “If there’s a shortage of police, that’s gonna cause some big problems. I mean, protesters can’t kick the shit out of themselves! Plus, who are the Karens gonna call when they feel scared?” His impression of a calling Karen the Geek Squad on a Black person made me laugh.
o Solid point – “I’ve gotta say, out of all the occupations, cops and firefighters are the last people who I’d expect to see this from. I mean, like, these are the same people who sign up to swarm hostage situations or run into burning buildings. But when it comes to the vaccine, suddenly, they’re like, ‘I don’t know, seems like a health risk.’”
o I loved Trevor’s reaction to one police chief comparing vaccine mandates to Nazi Germany – “Whoa, Nazi Germany! That dude escalated things way too quick! Although, he is a Chicago police officer, so it makes sense, but come on, people.”
· Daily Showography – Vladimir Putin
o Desi narrated very much in the style of a fawning state propagandist – After recounting the story of how then-Agent Putin threatened to shoot Germans surrounding the East Berlin KGB office when the wall came down, she said, “What an honor for those Germans to be there for the future leader’s first death threat.”
o Okay, I love that Putin commissioned a documentary about himself when he rose to political power, and I love even more that the documentary uses music from Cats.
o Listing Putin’s many talents, from beast wrangler to sportsman, Desi proclaimed, “Vladimir Putin is truly a quadruple threat- quintuple if one of the threats is making actual threats.”
o Great bit – “Yes, Putin respects people’s right to vote so much that he lets them vote 2, 3, or 78 times in the same election.”
· Interview – Actor/Author Nick Offerman
o Offerman was promoting his new book that combines some of his travel experiences with his thoughts on our relationship with nature – Trevor noted how many different subjects he pulls into the book, and Offerman explained, “One of the things I talk about in the book is trying to bring nuance back to our human conversations.” (Trevor’s response? “Clearly you don’t use Facebook.”)
o On his travels, Offerman reflected a lot on land once populated by indigenous tribes – “We were always kind of brought up to believe that to conquer something was positive. Like, we’re the victors, that makes us heroes. But as I looked at it in this context, I thought, ‘Now wait a second. All that really means is we killed them better than they were able to kill us.’”
o Offerman’s summation of humanity – “We’re clumsy, farting mammals that are building skyscrapers.”
Thursday, October 21st
· Headlines – Truth Social, voting rights bill, Hong Kong sleeping bus tour
o Trevor didn’t think it bodes well that posts on Trump’s new social media platform are called “truths” – He figured it’s only a matter of time before Trump declares, “All right, I shared my truths! Now I dare you to hang Mike Pence!”
o Very true – “Yo, this man’s a legend. He creates a free-speech website and was immediately like, ‘Okay, here’s what you can’t say.’ It’s like if the first rule of fight club was, ‘Hey, hey, hey, hey! No fighting! No fighting! No fighting, we work shit out here.’”
o Oh man, I loved Trevor’s impression of Trump insulting people so much he has to do it at auctioneer speed – “Sold to the lowlife horse-face bozo!”
o After the voting rights bill failed in the Senate, more Democrats are getting on board with ending the filibuster, but Sen. Manchin and Sen. Sinema are still standing in the way – “I will say this as someone not from this country: people around the world don’t envy America because of its commitment to the filibuster. People envy America because of its longstanding commitment to stuffing things with cheese. Those are the principles Congress should be living up to!”
o Like Trevor, I was perplexed by the idea of a 5-hour bus tour that’s designed for you to fall asleep while riding – “This is wasteful. Sleeping was the one human activity left that didn’t leave a carbon footprint, and now even that’s ruined!”
· If You Don’t Know, Now You Know – Subminimum wages for workers with disabilities
o In some sheltered-workshop settings, workers with disabilities only earn $.22 an hour – “Even in Africa, we’d see this and be like, ‘What? That’s not even enough for a cup of coffee a day!’”
o In looking at pros and cons of ending subminimum wage, the show included clips from a few news stories on the subject – I found it very telling that the people arguing to keep subminimum wage were all able-bodied (companies that run sheltered workshops, families of people with disabilities,) while the perspective on doing away with it came from the disabled workers themselves. “Nothing about us without us,” indeed.
o Trevor pointed out that people with disabilities are capable of all kinds of things – “Stevie Wonder is the reason why ‘Happy Birthday’ is better at Black birthday parties than white birthday parties!”
o I liked this bit – “Look, this whole idea that disabled people shouldn’t be paid the same as able-bodied people because they’re not as productive, I don’t know about that argument, guys. Because it’s not like every able-bodied person is great at their job either. If you ask me, disabled people should have the right to be as shitty at their jobs as everyone else! They should also be able to show up late, just do enough work to not get fired, play Fruit Ninja in the bathroom, and then leave at 4:30 on the dot. That, my friends, is equality!”
· Interview – Sen. Tammy Duckworth
o The interview with Sen. Duckworth was actually within the main story, as she’s working to pass legislation protecting the rights of workers with disabilities – “These companies are saying, ‘Well, if you don’t incentivize us, we’re not gonna hire someone with a disability,’ yet the people with a disability have been doing that work. That doesn’t make sense. This argument doesn’t make sense. If they’re already doing that job, you should pay them the same pay.”
o She was not at all prepared to buy that subminimum wages are necessary for disabled workers’ own good – “There’s this intimidation that’s going on, both to really prey on the fears of adults with intellectual disabilities but also their family members. And I feel that what we need to be working towards is an integrated work environment where we do make accommodations.”
· Correspondent Piece (Michael) – Keeping up with the news
o Mildly interesting but mostly pointless. Michael did a man-on-the-street style game show on “current events,” but it was mostly related to tweets and statements from politicians (and entertainers – one of the questions was about a lyric from the new Ye album.)
· Interview – Author Michael Pollan
o Pollan was there to discuss his new book on psychoactive drugs – “What do we use plants for? What desires do they gratify? Obviously, food is the biggest one, the first one you would do. But the other thing plants have done for us, for all of history, every culture on the planet basically, is change consciousness.”
o Trevor asked Pollan about “natural” drugs versus those created in a lab, and Pollan replied, “I don’t think we can say in general that, if it comes from a plant, it’s definitely better. I mean, there are some pretty toxic plants. But it’s very important to make distinctions and take each drug on its own. We have this category, ‘illicit drugs’; psychedelics are very different than opiates, for example.”
o In addition to talking about his own experiences with psychoactive drugs, Pollan talked about studies done on their practical applications, which include treating certain addictions and mental illnesses.
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