Monday, April 26
· Headlines – The Oscars, gender-reveal party explosion, Capitol rioter arrested after bragging on Bumble
o After seeing Daniel Kaluuya’s mom’s shocked expression at his less-than-parental-approved acceptance speech, Trevor decided he wants more of that energy at the Oscars – “I wanna see Brad Pitt’s dad holding up his embarrassing baby photos in the bathtub. I wanna see Emma Stone’s mom lick her thumb and wipe off her little girl’s cheek while she’s onstage. I wanna see the Rock’s mom heckling him from the crowd like, ‘He looks tough now, but he wet the bed until he was 19!’”
o I loved this reaction to a gender-reveal party that featured 80 pounds of explosives – “Guys, even Jesus didn’t get an explosion! He just got some weird dudes delivering spices. But now these days, parents are like, ‘Frankincense might be good enough for the Son of God, but my Braden deserves the best!’”
o I felt that – “You may remember from your history books that there was an attempt to overthrow the U.S. Capitol back in the year… January.”
· Pandemic News – Decreasing vaccine demand in the U.S., India surge
o Trevor couldn’t understand people who don’t go back for their second vaccine dose – “It’s the same reason that Trojan discontinued their ‘crop-top’ line of condoms. It just doesn’t work as well!”
o Trevor’s plan to counteract waning interest in the vaccine – “Maybe what we need is a rebrand. Start calling it the Vaccine Pro S, change the color! Then people will be lining up around the block.”
o Great bit about America responding to India’s dire COVID surge by finally agreeing to start sharing the excess AstraZeneca doses they’ve been sitting on for months – “So America is basically treating these vaccines like it was the old can of pumpkin puré in the back of the cabinet. I mean, you knew you were never gonna use it, but you still hung onto it way longer than you should! Because maybe, just maybe, someday someone would be like, ‘I’m dying! I need pumpkin puré!’ ‘Ah ha! Guess how many I’ve got in the back of my cabinet?’”
o And why does “America First” not work as a sound COVID response? – “Don’t forget that it makes America safer when corona is under control in the rest of the world.”
· Fake Commercial – The ProbleMagic Kingdom
o This was in response to a viral claim that Disney World is now “too woke” – this made-up theme park was a magical place “where no one ever gets canceled!”
o I loved that the logo for the park was a flag emblazoned with a red-white-and-blue Punisher logo.
o This final disclaimer made me laugh – “Harriet Tubman $20s not accepted.”
· Correspondent Piece (Michael) – American foot measurements
o Eh, mildly interesting. This piece was about a geodesic expert who fought to standardize the foot, since America had been using two different standards that were just a little bit off from each other.
o The best bit was the reveal that the show had mailed the guy a commemorative trophy for his efforts, a golden foot statue inscribed with his name.
· Interview – Rapper Vic Mensa
o The opening banter about Mensa’s trip to South Africa, and Trevor’s jealousy that Mensa had thus “stolen [his] life,” was cute – Mensa told Trevor, “You changed your hair, so I’m over there telling them that I’m you.”
o Mensa talked about his new EP and his activism work. Describing the experience of helping an incarcerated friend achieve clemency, he said, “It changed my life. It made me realize that my power – my own power, first of all intrinsically as a person, and also having the faith and belief to see what seems impossible.”
o He also discussed an op-ed he wrote urging Joe Biden to rectify the damage that the pandemic has wrought in Black communities – “That’s the thing about a situation like COVID, because the structure is set for Black people to be damaged more by any storm that hits America. We’re the ones most likely to be left in the cold.”
Tuesday, April 27
· Headlines – 2020 Census, Rick Santorum’s whitewashed remarks on American history
o I smiled at this description of the census – “It’s how the U.S. government says, ‘Everybody in the country make some noise!!!’”
o I liked Trevor’s take on New York losing a congressional seat in census reapportionment – “This is really unfortunate for New York state, because it means that one of its congressional districts disappears, and that means whoever represented that district in Congress becomes a Ronin, forced to travel the countryside looking for a new district to represent.”
o I laughed out loud at Trevor describing Rick Santorum as “what you get if you suck the handsome out of Mitt Romney.”
o Great response to Santorum’s claim that America was a “blank slate” on which European settlers created American culture – “Yeah guys, I hate to admit it, but Rick Santorum is right. From Tallahassee to the Mojave Desert, from Chappaqua to Chattanooga, there’s not a trace of Native American culture anywhere in America.”
o On-point analogy – “You know who Santorum is like? He’s like that guy who shows up to a party late going like, ‘Oh yeah, let’s get this party started!’ No, my man, the party was going on for a few thousand years, long before you got here with your whack-ass rules.”
· Main Story – New mask guidance from the CDC
o Lol, relatable – “I don’t even remember how to shake hands anymore! Like, do I grab the other person’s hand, or do I just shake mine in front of their face?”
o This was a good bit, on masks no longer being urged on outdoor walks – “Now we won’t have to give each other dirty looks while we’re walking past each other on the street just because of wearing or not wearing masks, you know? Now we can do back to the good old days of giving each other dirty looks because of racism, classism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, and those people who wear Adidas pants with Nike shoes!”
o Trevor liked the new guidance but didn’t like the highly-detailed graphic that attempted to explain its nuances – “You don’t see the Forest Service putting out flow charts like, ‘No fires, unless the fire’s on stone pits, or you come from a long line of firefighters, or you watch the weather and you know a rainstorm is coming in a few minutes.’ No! They say, ‘No fires, or this bear is gonna eat your f**king family!’”
· Correspondent Piece (Dulcé) – Female rappers
o This piece looked at groundbreaking female artists in the rap industry. Dulcé reminded us that it was a woman who produced the first rap record – “It sold a million copies. That’s right, it went platinum! And back then, we didn’t even know what that was. We had to whip out a periodic table.”
o I liked this bit about Sharon Green being in the Funky 4+1 – “Rapping in a group is great for a female MC, because when the man repeats what you just said but slightly louder, he’s not being sexist! He’s being a good hype man!”
o Great joke about the 14-year-old who ignited the “Roxanne Wars,” the first rap beef – “You’re supposed to be tough, but a kid dismantled you? And she did it in between errands! Her do-to list was, ‘Groceries, laundries, destroy a group of grown men, and walk the dog.’”
o Dulcé highlighted Queen Latifah as a female MC who unapologetically called out misogyny in the industry – “Queen Latifah had 99 problems and the word ‘bitch’ was all 99.”
· Interview – Activist Tarana Burke & Dr. Brené Brown
o Burke and Brown were there to talk about the essay anthology they put together on vulnerability and the Black community – Brown said, “One of the things I’ve learned is that the greatest casualty of trauma is the willingness or ability to be vulnerable.”
o When Trevor observed how the book’s universality is born out of its specificity, Burke explained, “This is, at the end of the day, about our humanity. And when you are just connected to the part that’s about our humanity, then you understand it really is a universal story.”
o While Burke agreed with the book’s potential to open white people’s eyes to the Black experience, she pointed out, “We also need to see our humanity right now, you know? Like, engage in our own humanity and appreciate it and find spaces to be expansive in that.”
o I loved Brown’s remark about the inverse power of stories as well, noting how some resist engaging with other people’s stories of their experiences with made-up stories of their own – “Whether it’s Sandy Hook, or it’s George Floyd, or it’s Ma’Khia Bryant, what story do you have to say to yourself to release yourself from any ownership and be okay with what’s happening?”
Wednesday, April 28
· Headlines – Incentives to combat vaccine hesitancy, old review dethrones Citizen Kane dethroned as top-rated film on Rotten Tomatoes, felony charge over unreturned VHS rental, man scams 35 girlfriends for birthday presents
o Good description of the vaccine – “The thing that’s responsible for the most welcome stabbing spree in history.”
o So true – “People are officially crazy. We have doctors coming up to us like, ‘We worked our asses off for a year to develop this vaccine that’ll save your life!’ And our response is, “Mmm hmm, but what’s in it for me?”
o Okay, Trevor’s not wrong here – “I think the best way to incentivize vaccinations is for Joe Biden to ban them. Yeah. I promise you now, all these anti-vax MAGA people, they’ll be racing to get it. ‘No way I’m letting Sleepy Joe tell me what vaccines I can’t take! Stick that shit in my arm for freedom!’”
o Great line – “Movies: they’re what the Rock does while waiting to become president.”
o Trevor’s very valid reaction to learning that woman got a felony charge for never returning an old Blockbuster VHS – “Wow. America loves arresting people!”
· Main Story – Right-wing hysteria over Biden “scandals”
o This piece looked very specifically at “scandals” that turned out to be based on completely-false news stories.
o On the false story that Biden’s climate plan would limit red-meat consumption to four pounds per year – “If something didn’t have to die for my lunch, then I’d rather starve! I’ll go vegan when you can make Brussel sprouts scream.”
o I loved this bit – “Senile old Joe Biden isn’t even running the country! You know who is? Kamala Harris. And I’m sorry that I pronounced her name correctly, force of habit.”
o Next up, the false story that Kamala Harris’s children’s book was being included in the welcome bags for migrant children – “Okay, this is outrageous. Kamala’s dumb children’s book is being handed out for free to every migrant child? That’s immigration, socialism, and reading, the three worst things in the world!”
o Lastly, the false story that Biden wore a mask while alone on a Zoom call with world leaders – “What is he hiding under there? Hillary’s emails?!”
· Correspondent Piece (Roy) – The State of Black Shit
o Roy’s annual response to the State of the Union (or in this case, Biden’s first joint address of Congress) – “I’m coming to you from one of the blackest locations in America: the backyard where Meghan Markle spilled the tea to Oprah.”
o I loved this comment about the protests this past year – “We thank our activist leaders for organizing, we thank our allies for marching alongside us, and to a certain extent, we even thank the police. You showed up to a police-brutality march and did police brutality! That really helped us hammer home the point.”
· Interview – Actor Anthony Mackie
o Just when I was thinking, “The show rarely has MCU stars on to talk about non-Black Panther stuff,” here came Mackie to discuss The Falcon and the Winter Soldier!
o Mackie on what went into creating Sam’s story of becoming Captain America – “The question that we came up with and we kept asking each other, every page, every scene, every time we would talk, is, how do you deal? As a Black man, you’re in an abusive relationship with America. So how do you fight for, stand up and risk your life for a country that has never given you any love, support, appreciation, or trust?”
o He was surprised not to see a lot of backlash over him taking up the shield – “The reality of it is that most people are good people, you know? And a lot of people are really excited about the idea of the Falcon becoming Captain America and what that means, not only in the cinematic universe and the comic-book universe, but in our true reality. You know, because it gives a younger generation a different perspective and a different way to look at the world.”
Thursday, April 29
· Headlines – Costco to lower COVID restrictions, FDA to ban menthol cigarettes
o Trevor “teared up” over the thought of free samples returning to Costco – “I never thought this day would come! I mean, yeah, I’ve missed hugging my grandma, but the thing I really missed during COVID were those tiny free empanadas.”
o Roy wasn’t on board with a ban on menthols – “Why is it that Black people don’t get their unhealthy thing? Why not ban them stupid-ass clove cigarettes white men be smoking that smell like feet? What about that? What about them long-ass Cruella de Vil cigs? I don’t see them banning that!”
o Good line – “If the government want to ban menthols to help our breathing, you know what would help us with that, is banning knees to the neck! Too bad knees ain’t menthol, maybe then we’d get some legislation!”
· Main Story – Biden’s joint address to Congress
o Trevor noted the extremely-ambitious policies Biden proposed in his speech – “Wow. Ending racism and cancer! Biden is dreaming big. I half-expected him to go, ‘You know what? F**k it! We’re going to Mars right now. Get in the rocket, everyone! There’s a rocket outside. We’re going to Mars right now!’”
o I liked the jokes on the fawning CNN/MSNBC pundits who talked about how Biden’s delivery reminded them of their grandfathers – “Also? Grandfathers are not really known for whispering that they’re gonna end systemic racism. In fact, usually grandfathers are whispering, ‘I think the bus driver is a Puerto Rican.’”
o And then of course, we had Fox News setting off the socialism alarm – “Okay, people. Even if Stalin gave people free daycare, that is not what made him Stalin, all right? No one who ever suffered through his regime was like, ‘The famine and the gulag, they were bad enough, but he also gave out toys to kids! That was the worst!’”
o Trevor agreed with Fox News that the speech was boring, but he didn’t see that as a bad thing – “A policy speech is just a set of directions for where a president wants to take the country, and in a way, directions are supposed to be boring. I mean, you don’t want Google Maps like, ‘You know what would be crazy, is if you drove into that lake! Do it, bitch. Do it now, just drive into the lake, dude!”
· Interview – Sen. Mazie K. Hirono
o Hirono talked about her new memoir which, similar to Trevor’s, is as much about her mother’s story as it is about her own. Hirono’s mother is clearly a big inspiration to her and has fueled much of her trailblazing work in politics.
o In talking with Hirono about attempts at bipartisanship in the Senate, Trevor challenged her on her shifting views on the filibuster, but Hirono explained why she no longer thinks it’s a necessary tool for the minority party – “You think, ‘Well, the filibuster protects minority voices,’ but we were the minority for four years and we basically got shafted at every turn. So I learned from that.” Given the filibuster’s strong roots in Jim Crow, she now realizes it can do more harm than good.
· Interview – Comedian/actor George Lopez
o Trevor asked Lopez about his new film Walking with Herb, in which he plays a more dramatic role, and Lopez talked about the importance of learning to be “the best well-rounded fighter” in an industry that often discounts comedians – “First of all, everyone thinks that comedians can’t act, that’s number one. And there are some comedians who’ve had sitcoms and deals made on a sitcom, and they’ve been fired from their own sitcom that was named after them and replaced by somebody using the same name."
No comments:
Post a Comment