Sunday, April 4
· Recap of the Week – Lil Nas X’s “Call Me by Your Name” video, Matt Gaetz allegations, Amazon fights workers’ efforts to unionize
o Another great description of John’s blank void – “This is basically an Apple store that only sells sadness.”
o John had about the same reaction I did to Matt Gaetz trying to rope Tucker Carlson into the allegations against him – “Wow. Imagine being the one white man on Earth that Tucker Carlson won’t defend.”
o I first heard about the infamous “pee bottles” at Amazon years ago, but the memo stating that drivers couldn’t return to the station with “bags of poop” in their truck was a new one for me – those poor workers.
· And Now This – Peeps-flavored Pepsi
o It’s that time of year again!! – “I swear to God, if you use the hashtag ‘hanging with my peeps,’ I will break into your house and bite your husband’s face!!!!!”
· Main Story – The national debt
o I laughed at the description of the national debt as “the world’s most boring $28 trillion.”
o I liked John’s dissection of a number of fearmongering anti-spending ads that featured kids begging the older generations not to raise the national debt – the best was his long warning to the little girl who came across Uncle Sam “digging a grave”/financial hole in the middle of the desert, culminating in, “Run away and tell an adult, a non-costumed adult.”
o For all of Reagan’s claims that “balancing the budget” is “like protecting your virtue – you have to learn to say ‘no,’” John got down to the crux of the matter, which is what are you spending/not spending that money on?
o I loved John referring to George W. Bush as “this lovable little human rights violation.”
o John’s sage advice to Sarah Palin, useful for any occasion – “Even if you preface something that isn’t racist with, ‘This isn’t racist,’ it will suddenly sound racist.”
o Terrific line – “…I don’t know [why the interest rate on our debt has gone down]. I’m not an economist and I don’t know a lot about math. This might be surprising to you, given that I have a face that looks like I have a favorite kind of graphing calculator.”
o To wrap up the episode, John made his own commercial featuring kids talking to their parents/grandparents/etc. about the national debt – In addition to repeatedly pointing out that the national debt clock isn’t an actual clock, they said, “We’re not as scared of being born into debt as we are of being born into a country that didn’t prepare for our future.”
Monday, April 5
· Headlines – Race between vaccinations & rising cases, revelation that the Trump campaign defrauded donors, Matt Gaetz allegations
o Good line – “That’s right, people. America may be entering a fourth wave of coronavirus. This pandemic is getting more spin-offs than Law & Order!”
o I liked this take on the pandemic, with vaccinations trying to keep pace more people engaging in risky behavior – “When you think about it, that’s been the question with every big issue in history. Are the people solving the problem faster than the people causing the problem? Are the people fixing the climate going faster than the people changing it? Are the people building sewge systems faster than the people shitting on the street? Are we producing King Kongs fast enough to fight the Godzillas?! We never make enough Kongs!!”
o After opening the Trump piece with, “Donald Trump may have lost the 2020 election,” I laughed so hard at the aside, “But that’s only if you count all the votes against him!”
o I loved this – “His last act as president was to rob his own supporters! They loved him so much, they stormed the Capitol for him, and meanwhile, he was like, ‘You go on ahead! I’ll watch your stuff.’”
o Good bit about Matt Gaetz – “And don’t forget, these allegations would be criminal no matter what, but the fact that he’s in Congress makes them even worse. Because, at what point in the day is he showing all these nude videos? ‘And that’s why Americans should be free to choose their own healthcare! And speaking of free, check out these titties!!’”
· Main Story – Georgia’s voter suppression law
o Great response to Joe Biden’s confusing statement that the new Georgia law “makes Jim Crow look like Jim Eagle” – “I don’t know about you, but this is the most Joe Biden thing ever. He’s trying to make a point about America’s history of racist voting restrictions, and instead, he’s got us arguing about birds!”
o I liked the observation that the law incorporates “the worst parts of flying” into elections, like long lines and not being allowed water – “And you know what? No shoes! Everyone take off your f**king shoes!”
o In looking at the response of corporations caught between angry consumers on either side, Desi narrated a commercial of Delta trying to cater to both sides with two new partisan subsidiaries – “At Red Delta, every plane features an in-flight shooting range!”
· Correspondent Piece (Desi) – Affect of the pandemic on working women
o The pandemic took women down to 1988 levels of participation in the workforce, dang…
o Part of the gimmick of this piece was that Desi, both of the experts she interviewed, and later her producer, were all trying to juggle this Zoom interview while looking after their kids – I especially liked one expert talking about that “dual role” working women have been forced to perform, juxtaposed with Desi’s son slowly sidling up behind her in a full Spider-Man costume.
o I liked this line – “So how do we fix this before moms across America just lose it? Asking for a friend.”
· Interview – Dr. Carl L. Hart
o Hart was there to discuss his new book Drug Use for Adults, which advocates for greater regulation/oversight of drugs over criminalization. As examples, he brought up opioids that are used in medical settings while being illegal in other settings, or alcohol posing just as much or more risk of damage/addiction/overdosing than some illegal substances.
o He said, “The first thing we have to understand is that, in the U.S., drugs are not banned because of pharmacology or science. Drugs are banned because of racism.” And he went on to say, “When we understand why drugs are banned in the first place, then we can start to look behind the sort of curtain and see what the reality really is.”
Tuesday, April 6
· Headlines – Toxic wastewater leak in Florida, Treasury Secretary calls for global minimum corporate tax rate, Yahoo Answers shutting down
o Solid point – “Isn’t it weird that America just dumps its toxic waste in a pond and calls it a day? I mean, it’s never a great sign when your solution to a problem sounds like a problem.
o I liked this observation about the fact that the walls surrounding the toxic water pond were radioactive – “It’s like building a lion cage out of guns. Yeah, it might keep the lions in for a while, but if they get out, now those lions are strapped!”
o Trevor applauded Treasury Secretary Yellen’s move, but he wasn’t sure a global corporate tax rate was enough – “Why do you think Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos want to go to Mars so bad? It’s not to advance human knowledge. They’re just trying to set up a P.O. box, baby!”
o I loved this line – “The truth is, Yahoo Answers is dead now because it wasn’t keeping up with the more effective services. Because yeah, yeah, you kept people misinformed, but to truly be successful in this day and age, you also have to radicalize people into white supremacists. That’s how you make it in tech!”
· Main Story – COVID-19 vaccine “passports”
o This made me laugh – “Not to mention, this can help give businesses peace of mind, you know? American businesses want to know that the customers legally carrying assault rifles into their store aren’t gonna sneeze on anyone.”
o In response to Fox News’s catastrophizing – “Look, they can say that this is Nazi Germany, but nobody’s forcing you to get a vaccine passport! Like, if you don’t want one, don’t get one! You’ll just have to pay a coyote to sneak you into Dunkin’ Donuts.”
o Trevor agreed with one expert who pointed out that, for equity, vaccine passports can’t be purely digital/app-based – “But paper vaccine passports could have all kinds of issues too, you know? They can be forged, they can get lost, a girl could trick you into writing her phone number on it and now she’s vaccinated!”
· Interview – Director Garrett Bradley
o Bradley was promoting Time, her Oscar-nominated documentary on a woman trying to reduce her husband’s prison sentence. I liked Trevor’s acknowledgement that this isn’t a story about someone who was wrongfully accused or otherwise “innocent,” which is where sympathy for the incarcerated usually pools – “Here, you’re not trying to get over the fact that people committed the crime, you’re asking us as the viewers to ask ourselves what our intention with the punishment should be.”
o Bradley talked about the importance of putting the faces of a human family to criminal justice issues – “People can look at anything for a political perspective. But I think when we’re forced to look at it from a human perspective, from a perspective that requires imagination, meaning one has to imagine themselves in a situation beyond the one that they’re already in, it becomes very obvious to me that the system needs to change.”
o Great summation from Bradley – “Empathy and being able to understand each other is fundamentally what motivates everything that I do, and it’s an integral part of making films.”
· Interview – Actor Morgan Freeman
o Freeman was there to talk about a vaccination PSA he filmed, and he put it quite simply – “I don’t understand, to tell you the truth, anyone who has issues with the idea of being vaccinated against this scourge.”
o Good observation from Trevor – “When Morgan Freeman is trying to convince people to do something that is in their best interest, it feels like we’re in a weird place as a society.”
Wednesday, April 7
· Headlines – Mitch McConnell criticizes corporate fallout from Georgia voting law, U.S. and Iran begin nuclear talks through European go-betweens, more voice options for Siri
o I loved Trevor’s reaction to Mitch McConnell telling corporations to stay out of politics… with the exception of political contributions – “Mitch-ass n***a! ‘Keep your mouth shut and hand over the money!’ That’s literally what bank robbers say!”
o And of course, there’s the fact that McConnell was instrumental in giving corporations largely-unfettered influence in politics in the first place – “The monster you created is coming after you!”
o Great bit – “And by the way, I like how McConnell is especially offended that businesses would take a position on a ‘highly controversial issue,’ because I mean, if the issue isn’t controversial, why would they announce their position at all? What does that mean? It’d be weird if Coca Cola came out like, ‘It is our official position as a company that it can be nice to sleep in on the weekend. Don’t @ me! Don’t @ me.’”
o I loved the impression of the U.S. and Iran only communicating through European intermediaries – “Uh, France? Can you please tell Iran that we can be friends again, but only if they say they’re sorry first?”
o This made me laugh – “I realize Apple has its reasons, but it’s kind of an asshole move to fire Siri in the middle of a pandemic!”
· If You Don’t Know, Now You Know – NFTs
o Sums up my thoughts exactly – “That’s right, move over, GameStop! There’s a new confusing Internet money thing in town!”
o Trevor argued that, while dropping millions on digital collectibles seems weird, it’s not really any weirder than physical objects people collect – The crux of the matter? “People love to have things that no one else has.”
o I loved this joke, about the carbon footprint of the energy required to create some NFT codes – “So every time you buy one, you basically have to think, ‘How many polar bears am I willing to kill for this distracted boyfriend meme? I mean, not five, obviously. Maybe four?’”
· Correspondent Piece (Roy & Michael) – Bracket of Bulls%&t
o Some amusing bits here, like Roy’s annoyance with people who don’t know how far six feet is – “That’s why I never leave the house without a six-foot party sub. If you can smell my pickles, you’re too close!”
o I loved this exchange – “By the way, Roy, what is Jeff Bezos’s net worth?” “It’s just so obscene, it’s gonna get bleeped.”
· Interview – Actress Danielle Brooks
o In talking about her work playing Mahalia Jackson in a new TV movie, I liked what Brooks said about the feeling that comes “when you know that your gift is just aligning so well – everything that you’re supposed to be doing, you’re doing it.”
o Trevor praised her singing in particular, which is all her in the film – Brooks answered, “That’s the one thing I’m learning to do, is hold a little more pride in my work. Because, for a while, I was very shy when it came to singing, and it’s easy for me to hide behind a character and show the world what I can do.”
o I loved Brooks’s response when Trevor asked her what more she wants to do in her career – “There’s so much! I’ve always wanted to show people that I’m capable of doing more than they expect.”
Thursday, April 8
· Headlines – Biden issues executive orders on gun control, discovery of muon particles, coronavirus variants in the U.S.
o Trevor expressed disappointment at the limited scope of gun reform Biden is able to accomplish without action from Congress – “Basically, America is saying, ‘We can’t stop mass shooters, but what if they had slightly worse aim?’”
o This reaction to muon particles defying the laws of physics made me laugh – “I knew it! Democrats have barely been in power for three months, and now, even particles aren’t obeying the law!”
o Trevor didn’t quite stick the landing on naming the four known forces of the universe – “Gravity, electromagnetism… love, and Godzilla.”
o I liked Trevor’s impression of people in the Middle Ages thinking their own scientific knowledge was rock-solid – “So that settles it, then! The sun revolves around the earth, it rains when God is sad, and if a woman makes eye contact with you, she’s a witch!”
o Great line – “And don’t forget, this double mutant comes on top of the U.K. variant, which is now the dominant strain in America. Well done, King George. You played that long game.”
· Main Story – Culture wars
o This was a story about the things the far right have been agitating about, given the difficulty in drumming up nonstop outrage over Biden – “Let’s face it, people, Joe Biden is boring. He promised it, but man, the guy has delivered! This dude’s favorite Netflix show is just the search menu.”
o I loved Trevor’s impression of Fox News fearmongerering – “Vaccine passports are Hitler! Mr. Potato Head is brainwashing children! Lil Nas X is behind you. Right. Now.”
o First up was Tucker Carlson’s teeth-gnashing over United’s announcement that half of their pilot academy students will be BIPOC and/or women – “I mean, everybody knows Black people can’t fly planes! That’s why Africa has no planes. Yeah, it’s true! There’s not a single plane on the entire continent. We use chickens to get around!”
o This was a good critique of United making this announcement in the first place – “If you wanna do something good, just do it! But no, they wanna get a pat on the back for shit that they should’ve been doing all along! ‘Hey, everyone! We’ve decided to help women and minorities deal with the barriers that we put up for them to be pilots!’”
o We also looked at the new rash of bills/laws targeting trans kids, including banning trans girls from playing school sports and criminalizing gender-affirming medical care for minors.
o This was a great response to the fact that GOP members calling for these sports bills in the name of “fairness,” despite near non-existent real-life examples of trans girls “stealing” sports/scholarship opportunities from cis girls – “You know what I love about Republicans? It’s that, when it comes to major issues with tons of evidence, like climate change or coronavirus or gun violence, they’re like, ‘Huh, let’s wait until we see more evidence!’ But now, there’s an issue that barely even exists, and they’re like, ‘We don’t got time for evidence! There’s a plastic trophy at stake!’”
o Solid point – “Aunt Becky’s kids have taken away more slots on sports teams than trans kids!”
o One provision of the new Arkansas law mandates that school employees report children’s “gender non-conforming” behavior to their parents – “These Republicans, they act like all they care about is the health and well-being of the kid. But it kind of gives the game away when they start adding on stuff that’s basically just, ‘And don’t play with dolls or we’ll tell your mom!’”
o And this was the real kicker – “As scared as some people might be by the idea of a trans person, it is nothing compared to how scared trans kids are dealing with problems they don’t always understand in a world that oftentimes does not accept them.”
· Correspondent Piece (Desi) – Fox News’s take on the reaction on the Georgia voting law
o I liked that Trevor’s list of the discriminatory voting law’s restrictions included a requirement for “all voters to name their five favorite Wes Anderson movies.”
o Great response to the governor of Georgia, who pointed out that, while the law prohibits people from giving food or water to voters waiting in line, there’s nothing to stop them from bringing or ordering their own – “Okay, first of all, if the people in your state have enough time to order GrubHub or UberEats while they’re waiting in line to vote, that’s already a pretty bad sign.”
o This was one of Desi’s “go down a Fox News rabbit hole and then conspiracy-splain the situation” stories. I liked, “This is just the way the founders intended us to vote. Step one: get an ID. Step two: go to your local elections office open between 9:00 a.m. and 9:02 a.m. Step three: solve a series of ancient riddles and receive a ballot application. Step four… Look, there are nineteen more steps! We’ve all read the Constitution!”
o When Desi was “railing” against corporations taking a stand against the new law, I laughed out loud at, “MLB is just BLM backwards!”
· Interview – Filmmaker Lee Isaac Chung
o I liked Trevor’s description of Minari as a “uniquely American” movie, one that shows “the American dream clashing with the American reality.”
o Chung admitted that he didn’t listen to any suggestions to widen the film’s “appeal” by moving outside the very personal side of a Korean family trying to make a life for themselves in rural Arkansas – “Because this was a last-ditch effort for me, because I knew this might be the last thing that I make, I wanted to just do it on my own terms and experience.”
o But for all that, Chung and Trevor agreed that the film has connected with a much wider audience – Chung said, “There’s so much for all of us that connects us and makes us human that goes to that emotional level,” adding, “I just knew that the emotions would speak louder than words.”
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