Since
2013, I’ve made a point to seek out fictional asexuals where I can find
them. In that time, I’ve found eleven
that I claim as mine: I’ve written six
Asexual Sightings for the blog, three Possible Sightings, and one
Sort-of-Possible Sighting (I haven’t done a full write-up for one of them, but
she would also rank an Asexual Sighting.)
They’re not all perfect, and in particular, the ones who are ace-coded
but whose writers won’t confirm them as such can hurt, but there are no
complaints today. Since it’s Asexual
Awareness Week, I’m taking today to look at each in turn and why I’m grateful
for them.
Dr. Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory)
Sheldon
is the first asexual-coded character I ever came across, years before I knew
that’s what I was, and that will always make him important to me. He and Amy also offer the most in-depth
example I’ve found of an asexual/sexual romantic relationship. Even though his overall Sheldonness means
there have been many times where he’s ignored her needs, they’ve ultimately
been partners in figuring out intimacy, taking the time to satisfy both Amy’s
physical gratification and Sheldon’s slowly-evolving comfort level.
The Doctor (Doctor
Who)
My
sort-of-possible asexual, both because the Doctor’s level of attraction seems
to vary from regeneration to regeneration and because the 1000+-year-old alien
thing is also a probable factor here.
However, I adore having an ace-ish hero saving the world, and asexual or
not, I love how much weight is given to the Doctor’s friendships. The relationships between the Doctor and his
– now her – companions are so always so strong, always take pride of
place. More than anything I’ve
encountered in fiction or in life, the Doctor’s greatest friendships are the
closest I think I’ve come to seeing platonic partnerships in actions.
Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock)
Sherlock
is another possible ace, and I love that he’s the undisputed hero of his show,
one who’s devotedly adored by fans and who can be an intelligent badass and
anchor a popular series with nothing completely in the way of canon
sexytimes. His disinterest in sex
doesn’t make him any less dynamic as a character, and he’s offered us great
lines like, “Why would I want to have dinner [euphemism in that episode for
sex] if I wasn’t hungry?”
Poppy (Huge)
After a
few ace-coded characters, Poppy was the first I found that actually used the
word. I watched Huge
specifically because I knew there was an asexual character on the show, and
although Poppy coming out to George is just a brief scene in the series, I love
it for how nonchalant Poppy is about it.
George might be a bit surprised, but to Poppy, it’s just normal, and
once she comes out to him, she simply gets on with everything else.
Arthur Martin (Six Feet Under)
The final
possible-asexual on this list: it’s all
confirmed aces after this! I like that,
despite being very odd and coming across as quite stilted/remote, Arthur is
actually very warm and affectionate in his own way, and in his gentle
relationship with Ruth, I appreciate the small explorations of intimacy that
fall outside of what we typically think of.
By the time I watched Six Feet
Under, I think Sheldon and Amy had started dating on The Big Bang Theory, but I don’t think they’d kissed yet, so this
was the first time I’d seen anything like an ace/sexual romance trying to
navigate physical affection.
Varys (Game
of Thrones)
Varys is
notable for being the only confirmed ace on this list that I didn’t have to
seek out. Any other show that’s overt
about the character’s orientation, I’ve watched specifically because I heard it
had an ace character, but with Varys, I was just watching an ordinary episode and he came out. Again, it’s a brief scene, but it’s a good
one. It handily addresses a few myths
about aceness (if he’s not into men, he must be into women, “everybody is interested
in something,” etc.) emphasizes that Varys being asexual predates his becoming
a eunuch, and importantly, establishes that Varys 100% likes being the way he
is.
Jughead Jones (Jughead)
I’m beyond
thrilled that such an iconic, longstanding character has identified as asexual,
and that it actually fits his
75+-year comic history. More than that,
I love that Jughead is a smart, funny hero who’s perfectly happy being ace –
there’s only room in his heart for burgers, and that’s the way he likes
it. I also appreciate Jughead for being
as flirting-illiterate as I am and, although I have issues with the arc
overall, for giving me my first story about an ace trying to figure out how to
turn down a date without hurting his friend’s feelings.
Todd Chavez (BoJack Horseman)
For other
LGBTQ folks, stories about characters realizing their queerness, struggling to
accept it within themselves, and slowly starting to come out are old-hat
clichés, but for asexual characters, that narrative is still largely
unexplored. Of all the aces characters
I’ve encountered, Todd is the only one who has a story figuring out his
sexuality. Even if other queer
characters don’t need any more of these narratives, aces sure do – it’s been so
affecting to watch someone on TV go through the same thing I did.
Yolanda Buenaventura (BoJack Horseman)
Yolanda’s
the one I haven’t done a full write-up on yet, because she’s been a relatively
minor character on the show and, while season 5 offers a bit more of her, I’d
like to rewatch her season 5 episodes before I give my full thoughts on
her. Still, her presence makes BoJack Horseman the first story I’ve
seen to feature two
regular/reccurring ace characters, as well as an asexual/asexual romance. (Side note:
I’ve started my season 4 rewatch, and you can totally see her halfway
out of frame when Todd builds up the courage to go to an asexual gathering – I love
the amount of forethought that goes into that show.
Voodoo Dunacci (Sirens)
Though
she’s a relatively small character, Voodo makes a big impact as an asexual
character. She’s unapologetically a
romantic ace with no “hey, wait a minute!” moment as to how her romantic orientation
reconciles with her asexuality. Thanks
to Brian’s curiosity/ignorance about aceness, we also get some real Ace 101
moments, like our triangle symbol, that pretty much never gets play in any kind
of mainstream media.
Raphael Santiago (Shadowhunters)
The other
characters on this list in asexual/sexual romances are ace-coded rather than
explicitly ace, which means they and their partners run into some issues when
initially addressing the idea of intimacy:
because they don’t have words to describe what they are, it’s difficult
for them to talk about what they need.
Raphael, however, has no problem explaining to Izzy that he’s not
interested in sex (and that, like Varys, he’s always been that way – it had
nothing to do with becoming a vampire.)
I like that he’s so comfortable in discussing it, and I love how his attraction
to her is so plainly romantic but not sexual; it’s beautiful to see.
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