"Better a fallen rocket than never a burst of light."
~ Tom Stoppard, The Invention of Love

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Relationship Spotlight: Marvin & Trina (Falsettos)


As I’ve said before, the atypical “triangle” of Whizzer-Marvin-Trina in Falsettos really interests me.  Having already looked at Marvin/Whizzer and Whizzer-Trina, it’s time to look at the last side of the triangle:  Trina and Marvin.  In some ways, this is the messiest side of all (spoilers.)

Marvin’s whole “tight-knit family” arrangement is intriguing.  It’s good that he wants the various parts of his family – “kid, [ex-]wife, and lover” – to all get along, and no matter what, Marvin and Trina will always be connected because they’re Jason’s parents.  But the way Marvin goes about that is far less about peaceful coexistence than it is about control and ownership.  I can’t tell if he’s aiming for the former – later in Act II, this is finally achieved when the whole family comes together over Whizzer’s illness – but for much of the show, they’re definitely getting the latter.

That’s because, for Marvin, Trina is still “his wife” and thus beholden to him.  That means cooking meals for the family with Whizzer, being prepared to cater to any and all of Marvin’s whims, and most significantly, not exploring new relationships the way Marvin has.  Even though Marvin was never attracted to Trina and can’t offer her romantic love, and even though he’s moved on with Whizzer, he resents the idea of Trina doing the same.  When she starts seeing Mendel (admittedly complicated, since Mendel is Marvin’s psychiatrist as well as Trina’s and Jason’s,) Marvin goes into full meltdown mode, because in his mind, Trina is still his.

Needless to say, this puts a tremendous strain on Trina to be caught between Marvin’s demands and her own feelings for Mendel.  (Not to mention, Marvin’s continued preoccupation with Trina affects his relationship with Whizzer, and Jason is negatively impacted by all the tension – this is Marvin at his worst, and it’s hard on the whole family.)  Marvin’s need for Trina to conduct herself on his terms interferes with Trina’s right to pursue her own happiness, something she desperately needs.  Her marriage to Marvin (as with most of her life thus far) was marked by denying her needs/desires for the sake of appeasing Marvin.  It was unhealthy and destructive enough when they were married – now that they’re divorced, it’s awful to see Marvin still trying to exert that level of control over her.

As with all the relationships in Falsettos, Trina and Marvin’s dynamic changes in Act II.  We come back from intermission (with a two-year time jump) to learn that Marvin and Trina now have a more traditional ex-spouse arrangement, sharing custody of Jason and mainly interacting over matters concerning him, like planning his bar mitzvah and going to his Little League games.  I’m not gonna lie – when Marvin announces, “I still have my son on the weekends,” and then ruefully adds, “Just on the weekends,” it hurts, and as much of a mess as the Act I situation is, I do find myself wishing they could have made it work in a way that was respectful of everyone’s feelings.

But ultimately, it is for the better.  While Marvin and Trina bicker over the bar mitzvah plans, it’s far healthier than their previous dynamic.  It doesn’t have the same toxic edge – rather, it’s two stubborn people (still immature at times) disagreeing over what they want for Jason’s big day.  And really, the mere fact that they’re disagreeing is a huge improvement for them, because it means Trina is holding her own and standing up for her views instead of getting steamrolled by Marvin’s demands.  Clearly, getting more distance between them was a necessary step in allowing them to interact in a healthier way.

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