News Satire Roundup: April 15th-April 19th

*Disclaimer: Fixed Thandiwe Newton’s name.*

 

Sunday, April 15 – Quick catchup on administration news, mentioning James Comey’s interview (with no commentary, since it aired after the show taped,) the FBI raid on Michael Cohen, and the bombing of Syria, the latter of which noted Trump’s staggeringly-misguided use of “mission accomplished.”  The main story, coming just before tax day, touched on the GOP tax bill but mostly focused on what the new regulations don’t prevent:  corporate tax loopholes.  John went through various strategies used by multi-billion-dollar corporations to pay zero taxes.  However, the best part of this story was John, piggybacking off of a Jake Tapper clip, proposing that all news anchors shout when reading any portion of a Trump tweet written in all caps.  Finally, John presented the last Blockbuster in Alaska with a gift, Russell Crowe memorabilia purchased in a recent auction, including his leather jockstrap from Cinderella Man.

Monday, April 16 – After a few jokes about sperm in space (with Trevor pointing out that our progression of sending stuff into space – music, pictures of human anatomy, sperm – looks like we’re sexually harassing aliens,) we touched on Sean Hannity being Michael Cohen’s third client and the colossal conflict of interest in that.  Next was James Comey’s ABC interview.  Trevor sympathized with him having to approach the president about possible golden-shower blackmail but side-eyed some of his “I do this but for the good of the people” stance.  Good story on two Black men being arrested at Starbucks for waiting for a friend – the follow-up skit featuring Dulcé as a 911 operator throwing shade on white people calling in becaue Black people make them nervous was great.  The guest, writer Alex Wagner, discussed her new book on discovering her story as a mixed-race person.

Tuesday, April 17 – Quick opening blurb on the IRS website being unable to process payments on tax day, with Trevor arguing that, since this problem is on the IRS, the solution should be “no payments” instead of “payment extensions.”  Next was more on Michael Cohen and Sean Hannity, particularly Hannity’s contradictory evasions, from “I was never his client,” to “I might have paid him ten bucks,” to “I definitely want attorney-client privilege on this.”  We also looked at the trolling Hannity got in the media, including from other people on Fox.  I laughed at Hannity trying to redirect a contributor who kept remarking on Hannity not disclosing his conflict of interest.  Former attorney general Eric Holder was the guest, taking two segments for his interview.  I really liked what he had to say about gerrymandering, both about the racial motivations often behind it and about the myth that there’s no “fair” way to draw districts.

Wednesday, April 18 – We opened on Starbucks’s planned racial bias training (with Trevor wanting Black people to troll Starbucks and see how much they can get away with now) and New York’s horrifying “poop train” parked in Alabama (with Trevor wanting to write them an apology after every meal.)  Good story on the planned talks between North and South Korea.  I liked Trevor’s amusement at Trump being so excited about finally doing something good, and I enjoyed his impression of Japan’s Prime Minister Abe trying to keep Trump engaged in the process.  Desi did a field report on “raw water,” and I hope for her sake that the bit with her drinking it was faked for the cameras – so gross!  Guest Chelsea Clinton shared memories of Barbara Bush, advocated leaving presidents’ children out of political rancor, and talked about her new children’s book on women who changed the world.

Thursday, April 19 – Lots going on today.  Trevor proposed that, with babies now allowed on the Senate floor, Mitch McConnell should have to “Rafiki” all of them.  He also touched on a massive power outage in Puerto Rico and a Cardi B.-Bernie Sanders team-up before introducing a new segment on “good guys with guns” making mistakes, from a Parkland teacher who left his gun in a public bathroom to a police officer visiting a school who had his gun taken and fired by a third grader while he was talking.  Ronny had a technology piece for Earth Day.  I agreed with him that a plastic-eating enzyme seems to be asking for trouble, and I laughed so hard at his assertion that space junk should be aliens’ problem:  “It’s Earth Day, not Space Day!”  Thandiwe Newton was the guest.  I really liked what she said about Westworld, especially her thoughts on how the show uses robots to make us think about ways we treat other humans as objects.